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This blog is about poetry, prose, publishing, children's books, writing, teaching, and performing poetry.
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A Reading
Poem: "A Reading" by Wendy Cope from If I Don't Know
Everybody in this room is bored.
The poems drag, the voice and gestures irk.
He can't be interrupted or ignored.
Poor fools, we came here of our own accord
And some of us have paid to hear this jerk.
Everybody in the room is bored.
The silent cry goes up, 'How long, O Lord?'
But nobody will scream or go berserk.
He won't be interrupted or ignored.
Or hit by eggs, or savaged by a horde
Of desperate people maddened by his work.
Everybody in the room is bored,
Except the poet. We are his reward,
Pretending to indulge in his every quirk.
He won't be interrupted or ignored.
At last it's over. How we all applaud!
The poet thanks us with a modest smirk.
Everybody in the room was bored.
He wasn't interrupted or ignored.
Family reunions can help remind us of the importance of family and good times in our lives. A few beautiful summers ago, my wife, Marilyn, and I attended a Sottile Family Reunion in Colorado. More than 70 relatives from states as far as Florida and New York attended. We met in the tourist town of Estes Park for a week of fun and discovery. The town is clean, compact, and even dog friendly. There’s a well-shaded park for dogs and doggie bowls of water in some tourist shops. Picture perfect mountains surrounded this haven.
More than half of the Sottiles that came to the family reunion live in Colorado. There were two major events planned for each day. These events included a western barbecue, hayride in the mountains, a sock hop, a rock climb, an aerial ride over the mountains, racing go-carts, white water rafting, gambling Texas Hold ’Em style, a cowboy and cowgirl dance, mountain hiking, fishing for phantom fish, golfing on a fantastic course (with majestic mountains in the background), and much more.
Each morning Marilyn and I enjoyed eating breakfast in a different restaurant and doing some window shopping. A good breakfast in a new place was a delicious way to start the day. As we strolled around the town, we held hands like newlyweds. On days that were less structured than other days we visited Rocky Mountain National Park.
On a sunny day you would have to be camera-challenged not to take a superb picture at the park. We enjoyed the breath-taking beauty by taking more than 100 digital photographs. There seemed to be endless photo opportunities to share with the family back home. The park contains 359 miles of trails and 60 peaks above 12,000 feet. In the park you can escape the crowds and enjoy a mountain playground where elk, muler deer, and big horn sheep roam freely in the meadows and along streams.
Matter of fact, the elk sometimes trot into town and you have to be careful just how fast you drive or you might hit one. Marilyn and I each had a turn at yelling, “Look out for the elk ahead!” Both times it was almost lunchtime, so guess elk get hungry too.
When we weren’t at the park, we caught up on the lives of people who were somehow connected to us by birth or marriage. Later, after hiking or white water rafting, it was easy to go to bed and fall asleep in each other’s arms.
Since this was a vacation with no cooking or cleaning to be done, people were in superb moods. A harsh word was never heard, not even among the many children. The good times and cheer seemed to roll along from day to day. At the last dance there were old films of past family events and new slides of the happy reunion. Some of the old super-eight film brought tears to our eyes as we saw loved ones who we once patterned certain aspects of our lives after, but were no longer with us. Group pictures of our families were taken at our western dance and woven together like a family tapestry of celluloid and light to celebrate our history on our last night together
During a typical day at home, my most strenuous activity might be mowing the lawn with my self-propelled mower. Count me out as far as mountain hiking and white water rafting (during record breaking temperatures in the Rockies). But, sometimes you have to pluck down some coins and courage that were set aside for “someday I’ll do that.” Marilyn and I were the oldest white water rafters on our family’s “ride the rapids” day. We earned our wet badge of courage and had a once in a lifetime experience.
It’s great fun to share stimulating activities with people you know from birth. But there were many Sottile clan members that I had not met; they grew up in Colorado and I in New York. Fortunately, we all seemed to have the same definition of fun: swap family stories and memories, while creating new ones.
Perhaps the funniest new story told around the campfire in the mountain was about my two cousins, Laurie and Jim, from New York. One evening during the week, they came home at midnight to their backwoods condo and discovered a 300 pound bear eating out of the garbage can. They couldn’t get into their place without adding to his menu. (That’s not the funny part.) They honked the car horn and flashed their headlights, but the bear was determined to finish its midnight snack. Finally, they called 9-1-1 on their cell phone. Laurie was told to call “Bearbusters.” She laughed hysterically until the lady at the other end of the phone said that she wasn’t kidding. By that time the bear was done snacking and had wandered off. Bearbuster intervention wasn’t needed. (That was the only unbearable event of the week.
Throughout the week everyone got along amazingly well. We had fabulous food and exciting times. Even when we had an open bar at our dance party on the last night, nobody over-indulged themselves and acted like a fool in the flock.
When my brother Tony left for home, he whispered to me that being at the reunion felt like being, “bathed in love and laughter for a week.” I shared the same feeling.
At the farewell breakfast, there were hugs, kisses, and some tears. I thought of the words of Chief Many Horses had uttered to us one night while speaking to us at the campfire. He said that in his Indian language there isn’t a word for “good-bye.” What they say in their language is equivalent in English to “I hope our paths cross again soon.
I hope they do, too.
Live for Today, Leave a Legacy for Tomorrow
Many people have the notion of legacy as being a gift of money or an estate left for their dear ones or someone else. While this is definitely a part of your legacy, it is not the entire picture. A legacy will also include what you impart to the future generation, including things like your ideas, philosophy, your accomplishments, and also your money.
While great leaders have left behind a legacy that continues to influence the future generations and inspires them every day, you cannot imagine everyone leaving a rich legacy that is influential to an entire community or the entire world. But, your legacy can be something that talks about you and influences as many people as is possible.
In order to leave a legacy that inspires and influences the lives of the future generations it is essential to start planning for it as early as possible and sharing your thoughts and viewpoints to the benefit of the future generations. But, how does one plan on leaving a legacy?
Learn the Purpose of Your Life
Everyone has a purpose in their lives. It is essential to listen to your mind and heart and get to know what the purpose of your life is. Once you do this, you can work a lifetime enjoying each day trying to get closer to this purpose in life. Document this purpose of your life and mention your achievements as you draw every step closer to this goal. This itself will speak monuments about your achievements and thinking and speak of your legacy when people read through what you have left behind.
Identify your Thoughts and Document them
Everyone has their viewpoints on every aspect of life. You too will have your own. Identify your thought process and give in depth thinking to core aspects of life including family, love, philosophy, spirituality, community, etc. Pen down your thoughts and read through them again. You might want to visit them over time and refine your writing depending on your thought process. Enrich your writing with your thoughts and be honest. You will never know how and whom you will inspire with your ideas and thinking.
Think about Overall Improvement
Everyone thinks about improving their family and making them wealthy and rich. By doing so, you might not leave a rich legacy. Think even about overall improvement from a broader perspective, for example, you community or your city. Think about how your thought process and work can help in the betterment of many people. Being wealthy and passing it on to your near and dear ones will not help you create a legacy like the one you can create by working for the betterment of other people that need you to help them out.
It is never late to start working towards leaving a legacy. But, when you are starting early you have more time to put your efforts and thoughts into action and ensure that you are inspiring many people for a long time to come.
The limits your parents or teacher set are meant to protect you, even if it doesn’t feel that way. When I was five-years-old, something terrible happened to me that changed my life forever.
The day started like any other day. I got up for school, gulped down a bowl of cereal and marched off to kindergarten. My school day was totally uneventful.
Just before dinner time the smell of burning leaves filled the October air. A large crowd of kids and adults gathered across the far end of the street to watch the fall of a local landmark. A gigantic tree was being taken down right in my own neighborhood. This was no easy task. From the cement steps of my house, I witnessed this unusual event. The tree, bound with heavy ropes and chains, was lowered to the sidewalk.
This once majestic tree, a neighborhood landmark, was now without limbs or leaves, and it fell safely to the ground with a muffled, “Thud!”
But the kids and grownups did not leave. They moved in closer to linger around this fallen symbol of carefree days, as if it were a giant redwood that had been expelled from the forest without a fair trial, and then bound and now ready to be taken away.
I needed to run my hands on the tree’s bumpy bark and say good-bye to this remarkable tree, but I wasn’t allowed off my side of this busy city block.
I thought to myself, Oh, what the heck! What’s the worst thing that could happen?
I ran across the street to say farewell to the fallen tree. I don’t remember my exact thoughts, but after what seemed like a short while of mingling with the other spectators, a sinking feeling grew in my stomach.
I quickly realized that I had visited the tree too long. My mind was flooded with two thoughts: I am late for dinner, and I am in trouble. Just as I darted out between two parked cars and raced toward my side of the street, a car struck me down. One of my sneakers flew into the gutter. The old car that hit me passed over my body. I was covered with grease, bruises, and blood—my throat was too dry to let me cry.
From a crowd of neighbors and strangers my father appeared. Face ash red, sweat bubbling on his forehead, he leaned over and said, “Joe, I love you son—the ambulance is on its way.”
Then I softly asked, “Dad, am I going to die? Am I? Am I?” As I passed out, I heard no answer.
Of course, I didn’t die in the accident, nor was I seriously injured. By all the laws of nature and chance, I should have been injured or worse. While the two-ton car drove over my body, the wheels never touched me—a miracle! One that I never forgot. I was grateful to be alive and well, except for some minor bruises.
But not all kids will be so lucky, when they break safety rules. I knew that I wasn’t supposed to cross the street by myself. I learned the hard way to respect the rules my parents set and to be more responsible. When I grew up, I became a teacher and made sure my students always felt safe in my room and on field trips.
On the first day of school we always made up the classroom rules together. I wanted them to follow rules because they made them and they made sense to them.
For thirty-three years my classroom was a safe place for kids.
How likely are you to talk to a stranger? Of course, it may be determined by the time of day, where you are, and how relaxed you are. But for some people it’s just not natural for them to be chatty, especially with strangers. The good news is that those who are shy talkers can overcome their fear of speaking. It’s a matter of increasing one’s confidence in the fine art of communicating one-to-one.
Gaining confidence
Gaining confidence is the key to being in one’s comfort zone while sharing verbal thoughts with another person. You should strive to act as natural as possible. You don’t want to memorize what you’re going to say. That would be too artificial. Talking about the weather is always a good icebreaker. Be sure to take an interest in the person who you are talking to, and really listen to what they have to say. Good listeners are as important as good talkers.
Practice Small Talk
You can practice making “small talk” in the mirror until it starts to feel more natural. People enjoy genuine compliments about what they are wear. (So be observant and kind when in the presence of friends or strangers.) We all want to be appreciated. When I was teaching, I used to cut through the library to get to my classroom faster. Invariable I would cross paths with the librarian. She was a very pleasant lady. Periodically I used to compliment her on her smile, new outfit or on having good hair day. When she retired, she said that she always enjoyed running into me because my compliments “made her day.”
Be Yourself
Be authentic. Be real, and people will like you wherever you go. Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Your eyes speak volumes when you are talking. Be sure to have smiling eyes. It will make everyone feel comfortable and interested in your presence among them. Laugh, if something is truly funny. Just be yourself, and others will want to hear what you have to say, even if it doesn’t spill out as smooth as honey.
Be a Risk-Taker
When I was in college taking my first speech class, I was nervous as heck about giving my first speech. It was an introductory speech, and you had to write your full name on the board. I wondered how I was going to relax my audience, and get them thinking positively about me. I knew that humor is like a gust of fresh air in a stale room. So I went up to the board, and I spelled out my last name in twenty wrong versions. By the time I turned around most students in the class were laughing hysterically, and they did pay keen attention to my speech.
At the Breast Clinic
The Breast Clinic is a brick and glass structure designed with women
in mind, from fancy murals of Italy to free herbal teas in the lobby.
As you pass through the revolving doors there’s no need to wonder
which way to turn or where to ask for directions to your doctor’s suite.
The receptionist’s desk juts out and your questions about doctors,
appointments, procedures and payments can be answered quickly.
“Will my wife, Marilyn, get a clean bill of health?” takes longer.
When we travel together I sometime pretend that I am “Charles,” her chauffer,
since she comes from a long line of glitz, glamour and royalty. I don’t mind
being her driver and court jester, but we will be at the medical institute waiting
up to three hours for x-rays to hear good news. I didn’t sleep well last night
worrying about the Queen of my life for 41 years. There were omens in the air.
She has been called back before after a routine screening, but this is different.
The receptionist insisted on a speedy return and told her that a doctor
would be present in the office. The receptionist didn’t reduce fears saying,
“Oh, we just want to take a few more pictures. We do this all the time.”
With words unspoken Marilyn let me know that these were sinister omens.
She needed me to hold her hand and scare away any menacing thoughts.
That’s why I was with her with a room full of women waiting for exams.
I kept thinking: It has to be very good news. It has to be very good news.
It had to be good news because she had a run of bad luck, a series of medical
problems all piling up—a fall, broken bones, arm, ribs, a sleep disorder, TMJ,
COPD, heart problems, arthritis, and two knee operations—all in one year.
I knew she couldn’t take much more of new doctors, medicines, blood tests,
and appointments. Marilyn was centimeters away from breaking.
I prayed for her and bargained with God to spare her this time from pain,
medical intervention and frequent thoughts about her own mortality.
She deserves better. That’s what I thought again and again, as I waited
for the verdict via x-rays and a doctor. It didn’t seem fair that she had
to deal with more doctors and examinations. Yes, I know that life isn’t
fair and when things get tough, the tough get going, but there’s a limit.
Ninety minutes later she popped out from behind door number one
with a sparkling smile and waving thumbs up. I hugged and hugged
my queen, while others waited to see how their story would unfold.
I wished them well in my heart of hearts, and escorted my fair lady
out the door as fast as I could beyond false omens. At the Princess Diner
my beloved Queen and I ate a celebratory lunch and thanked the heavens.
~Joe Sottile
| | 
I strive to be a Welcome Ambassador to Everyone I meet. I know that’s a tall order. I sort act like a Walmart greeter on steroids. I smile, open doors, as I shop, make positive comments about team logos that I see on total strangers. I get money from tellers, not ATM machines. I talk to the mailperson, and don’t duck when I see acquaintances and former co-workers in the wilds of the frozen food section of the supermarket. I am a people person, not a robot mechanically going through mundane motions of life.
Now what’s that got to do with Bigfoot, a large hairy-ape like creature between 6.6-9.8 feet tall weighing over 500 pounds, covered with brown or reddish hair? He’s a legend hiding in the forest somewhere. Over the years there have been many eyewitness reports about him, large footprint tracks of him, handheld film recordings, audio recordings, blood and hair samples. There also have been many hoaxes and pranks related to finding Bigfoot in the wilds.
Okay, now you have the background story. I can proceed with my encounter.
I was waiting for the garage door repairman to fix the runner on my garage door. My wife accidentally caught backing up with the car. I tried to fix the metal runner, but I crinkled the bend worse, making it almost unrepairable.
As the repairman abled out of the truck, I opened the garage door and wondered if he would get the job done without installing expensive new runners, or even if he had late model ones on the truck. He had a bald head, jeans on, and a dusty bulging black T-shirt. No uniform. No Mr. Goodwrench-look. I know first impressions aren’t always correct, yet I wasn’t impressed. He looked more like a professional wrestler or a man of the mountains.
I said hello and welcomed him to my garage and my problem, adding these words “I decided to get an expert to help me.”
He said, “I am not an expert in this area, but I have fixed a number of doors like this.”
He wrestled with the bent runner and after quite a struggle he bent it back to working form, and shot some oil into the little revolving wheels. He told me that I was all set, good as new.
I asked him if he wanted a bottle of cold water. He said that he had some in the truck.
I wondered what made this man tick; in other words, what he cared about beside his job. I thought that I might be surprised. I was already totally wrong about my first impression.
I asked, “So what do you like to do for fun?”
He eyes arched upward recalling a fun scene and he said, “I hunt for Bigfoot with my son in the mountains.”
As my mouth dropped open, I asked “Do you believe in him?”
He answered, “Well, we have fun looking for him. It’s an adventure. We don’t want to hurt him, just hangout. Maybe take a few photos. We bring fruit, nuts, and cold water to share with him. If he doesn’t show up, we eat the goodies ourselves. My son, Ryan, loves hiking and the outdoors.”
“How old is your son?”
“Well, he’s 12, but he has the mental age of 5. Ryan has a brain disorder. He literally has problems doing things. The nerve endings in his body are mixed up. He has to think things through to do normal things. But he has been getting better and better. That’s what counts. And he loves talking about Bigfoot, looking at pictures of Bigfoot, and learning about big animals. We frequently read together. I work two jobs so that I have enough money to get the best help for him.”
Tears circled in my eyes. I wrote him a check for his services, and said “Wait a second, I have a present for him, and I ran upstairs to get a copy of the poetry book Waiting to See the Principal and Other Poems.
I signed the paperback for Ryan and I said, “There’s lots of lines that are repeated in my poems. Ryan and you will have fun repeating them. After awhile both of you will have them memorized which makes it even more fun to read.”
“Yes, he will love this book! And the pictures in it are funny too—something like Shel Silverstein’s books. Ryan loves all of his books. Thanks so much. I gotta get back on the road. Thanks again.”
“By the way, does Ryan really believe in the existence of Bigfoot?”
‘OH, YEAH! He says Bigfoot is just a good hider.”
And I said to myself: we are all good hiders unless the right questions are asked by an interested person.
|
A Small Victory Sometimes you get email that makes your day or week, or month or year. That has happened to you, right? Words are powerful, right? Sometimes those words, spoken or written, validate what you secretly hope that others believe about you. That’s why I believe that the image above spells out is a golden nugget of wisdom that we all should remember on our journey to Heaven. I met a man years ago that was clearly a gifted writer at my first writing workshop at Nazareth College, which met once a week for six weeks. Jim Gamble was the only other male, and there was a total of eight aspiring writers. My wife’s GYN had recommended that I start taking workshops if I were serious about writing, and she was getting her Masters at the college. To my total surprise, the workshop turned out fantastic; as a result of it, I made friends with Jim, and published three articles that I was working on. Jim, thanks to a heads up from me, briefly taught English in my school district, and went on to become a college professor. And the doctor whom encouraged me to take a workshop showed up as a participant at Writers & Books in a class that I took! Talk about full circle. It’s always good when people practice what they preach! Well, today this is what Jim wrote on Facebook next to an ad for one of my articles online: A fellow teacher and writer. He helped get me my last public school gig before I came to Arkansas. I've been sharing his posts for years. His way of engaging a group of young people with language and heart is one I've never quite been able to emulate. His poem on Charley Rose is a classic. Seriously. Here's the Charlie Rose poem:At the Mahogany Table
I am retired now, and I have time,
Time to rise late and go to bed late
I cherish the luxury of listening to Charlie
interview people from all walks of life.
How easy it is for me to admire this Rose
with his good looks and tailored suits.
He knows he has won the job lottery,
talking to famous folks around the world.
But his home court, his uncut diamond is
rotunda in shape, made of Mahogany.
The background is usually pitch-black
and the set is noiseless where he sits,
slightly hunched over with a tired face
he has read their books, seen their movies,
enjoyed their concerts, listened to their politics,
and poked into their being with revealing questions.
He washes away their inner fears and jitters,
taking you and them on a gentle journey
where we discover what makes them tick,
what matters most, and what challenges lie ahead.
Charlie understands, appreciates and explores
their passions, while he cradles to his chest
what makes their lives worth living
and their sojourn so important.
By doing so, our lives become richer and fuller.
We may even daydream about Charlie calling us
"Joe, come sit at my Mahogany table
and share how poetry can save the planet."
I met a man years ago that was clearly a gifted writer at my first writing workshop at Nazareth College, which met once a week for six weeks. Jim Gamble was the only other male, and there was a total of eight aspiring writers. My wife’s GYN had recommended that I start taking workshops if I were serious about writing, and she was getting her Masters at the college. To my total surprise, the workshop turned out fantastic; as a result of it, I made friends with Jim, and published three articles that I was working on. Jim, thanks to a heads up from me, briefly taught English in my school district, and went on to become a college professor. And the doctor whom encouraged me to take a workshop showed up as a participant at Writers & Books in a class that I took! Talk about full circle. It’s always good when people practice what they preach!
Well, today this is what Jim wrote on Facebook next to an ad for one of my articles online:
A fellow teacher and writer. He helped get me my last public school gig before I came to Arkansas. I've been sharing his posts for years. His way of engaging a group of young people with language and heart is one I've never quite been able to emulate. His poem on Charley Rose is a classic. Seriously.
Joe Sottile is a children’s poet, performer, and essayist. A former elementary school teacher, he now works as a poetry enrichment instructor for the Genesee Valley Board of Cooperative Educational Services (BOCES) and counts classroom workshops and interacting with young poets among the great pleasures of his life. Joe also rates the necessity of poetry in our lives right up there with sunshine. Learn more about him at www.joesillysottile.net.
The bio sketch was attached to the poem on the next page, which you have read before, but Jim’s comment is a good excuse to read again. Love you all.
I am retired now, and I have time,
Time to rise late and go to bed late
I cherish the luxury of listening to Charlie
interview people from all walks of life.
How easy it is for me to admire this Rose
with his good looks and tailored suits.
He knows he has won the job lottery,
talking to famous folks around the world.
But his home court, his uncut diamond is
rotunda in shape, made of Mahogany.
The background is usually pitch-black
and the set is noiseless where he sits,
slightly hunched over with a tired face
he has read their books, seen their movies,
enjoyed their concerts, listened to their politics,
and poked into their being with revealing questions.
He washes away their inner fears and jitters,
taking you and them on a gentle journey
where we discover what makes them tick,
what matters most, and what challenges lie ahead.
Charlie understands, appreciates and explores
their passions, while he cradles to his chest
what makes their lives worth living
and their sojourn so important.
By doing so, our lives become richer and fuller.
We may even daydream about Charlie calling us
"Joe, come sit at my Mahogany table
and share how poetry can save the planet."
A Small Victory
Sometimes you get email that makes your day or week, or month or year. That has happened to you, right? Words are powerful, right? Sometimes those words, spoken or written, validate what you secretly hope that others believe about you. That’s why I believe that the next image is a golden nugget of wisdom that we all should remember on our journey to Heaven:
I met a man years ago that was clearly a gifted writer at my first writing workshop at Nazareth College, which met once a week for six weeks. Jim Gamble was the only other male, and there was a total of eight aspiring writers. My wife’s GYN had recommended that I start taking workshops if I were serious about writing, and she was getting her Masters at the college. To my total surprise, the workshop turned out fantastic; as a result of it, I made friends with Jim, and published three articles that I was working on. Jim, thanks to a heads up from me, briefly taught English in my school district, and went on to become a college professor. And the doctor whom encouraged me to take a workshop showed up as a participant at Writers & Books in a class that I took! Talk about full circle. It’s always good when people practice what they preach!
Well, today this is what Jim wrote on Facebook next to an ad for one of my articles online:
A fellow teacher and writer. He helped get me my last public school gig before I came to Arkansas. I've been sharing his posts for years. His way of engaging a group of young people with language and heart is one I've never quite been able to emulate. His poem on Charley Rose is a classic. Seriously.
Joe Sottile is a children’s poet, performer, and essayist. A former elementary school teacher, he now works as a poetry enrichment instructor for the Genesee Valley Board of Cooperative Educational Services (BOCES) and counts classroom workshops and interacting with young poets among the great pleasures of his life. Joe also rates the necessity of poetry in our lives right up there with sunshine. Learn more about him at www.joesillysottile.net.
The bio sketch was attached to the poem on the next page, which you have read before, but Jim’s comment is a good excuse to read again. Love you all.
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My dog got in big trouble. He's a criminal now. I wanted him to grow up to be a good dog, and now he has a record. It's very sad. I am too tired to tell you the story right now.
You may be a bashful or tense individual by nature and may feel it difficult and a terrible affair to engage yourself in a simple conversation with others due to your internal fears and concerns that override your power of thinking and acting. You should not get disappointed as there are many remedies to overcome these internal reservations and your anxieties that can provide you great conversation skills. You will gain self-assurance and break all the barriers of shyness, anxieties and apprehensions.
1. Relaxing:
Relaxing is the most effective way to keep you from faltering when you enter a dialogue. Always try to be composed and restful and keep your mind calm and not rushing. You should feel assured about yourself and breathe purposefully and gradually to maintain your calm. You will be able to precisely concentrate on what you desire to convey.
2. Try to be meaningful:
One of the most significant skills in conversation is having the proficiency to elaborate the dialogue with the help of insightful and committed questioning to the other persons. This way, you can impress on others that you are not only attentive towards the conversation but also taking time and effort to be methodically thoughtful about it. You will also make him feel your eagerness to specifically cover the subject from every angle.
3. Maintain the flow:
Do not try to deviate from the main point of discussion. Keep the proper stride and flow in the dialogue. Also, it is crucial to ensure to keep tempo and to confirm that you are in tune with the person you are conversing with. You should not try to hurry up, let it proceed at its own pace. But, do not make it slower either. Let it take its natural course and keep your flow.
4. Look before you leap:
It is always better to think first. If you want to converse effectively, your skill should engage concern and sensitivity. You should be thoughtful and considerate in discussions to weigh how things should be put forth. This does not mean you halt the conversation. This may result in sudden breaks, but with time you will have a smoother flow with practice and experience. The best way is to ponder over what you are going to say only for one or two seconds rather than for long time.
5. Make it simple:
When you are conversing with someone, never try to be too clever. Do not try to make the subject complicated rather try to be precise, clear and simple as much as you can. It will be advantageous for both the partners in conversation.
You can use these tips to easily to converse with people and acquire the skills to discuss things with people and make more friends.
Many people have the notion of legacy as being a gift of money or an estate left for their dear ones or someone else. While this is definitely a part of your legacy, it is not the entire picture. A legacy will also include what you impart to the future generation, including things like your ideas, philosophy, your accomplishments, and also your money.
While great leaders have left behind a legacy that continues to influence the future generations and inspires them every day, you cannot imagine everyone leaving a rich legacy that is influential to an entire community or the entire world. But, your legacy can be something that talks about you and influences as many people as is possible.
In order to leave a legacy that inspires and influences the lives of the future generations it is essential to start planning for it as early as possible and sharing your thoughts and viewpoints to the benefit of the future generations. But, how does one plan on leaving a legacy?
Learn the Purpose of Your Life
Everyone has a purpose in their lives. It is essential to listen to your mind and heart and get to know what the purpose of your life is. Once you do this, you can work a lifetime enjoying each day trying to get closer to this purpose in life. Document this purpose of your life and mention your achievements as you draw every step closer to this goal. This itself will speak monuments about your achievements and thinking and speak of your legacy when people read through what you have left behind.
Identify your Thoughts and Document them
Everyone has their viewpoints on every aspect of life. You too will have your own. Identify your thought process and give in depth thinking to core aspects of life including family, love, philosophy, spirituality, community, etc. Pen down your thoughts and read through them again. You might want to visit them over time and refine your writing depending on your thought process. Enrich your writing with your thoughts and be honest. You will never know how and whom you will inspire with your ideas and thinking.
Think about Overall Improvement
Everyone thinks about improving their family and making them wealthy and rich. By doing so, you might not leave a rich legacy. Think even about overall improvement from a broader perspective, for example, you community or your city. Think about how your thought process and work can help in the betterment of many people. Being wealthy and passing it on to your near and dear ones will not help you create a legacy like the one you can create by working for the betterment of other people that need you to help them out.
It is never late to start working towards leaving a legacy. But, when you are starting early you have more time to put your efforts and thoughts into action and ensure that you are inspiring many people for a long time to come.
On a personal note, part of my legacy to my grandchildren and other tweens and teens is 101 SECRETS! A BACKPACK OF INSPIRATION FOR TWEENS. I put stories of growing up and some wisdom that I have gathered on life's journey. The aim of the eBook is to enable children to live happier and more purposeful lives.
Individual Hypnosis (Forget Swinging Gold Watches)
What a lot of individuals state is that many things may be accomplished by targeting the mind over matter. You might be able to see what individual hypnosis may do for you.
There are indeed many Advantages to individual hypnosis, particularly when an individual is determined to see matters to the very end or dedicated to do things that he believes he can, then the possibilities are perpetual.
Even when someone trusts that he may achieve what other people, or occasionally even he himself, would find hard, he may actually do it if he just puts his mind into it.
Individual hypnosis is a positive reinforcement of mental conditioning and positive idea paths. While it might be simple to state that positive thinking may produce many great results, still the idea of injecting the mind to believe that way might not be as simple as you think, particularly when we're at our witting state, particularly when weighing the pros and cons of every one of our actions.
However with hypnosis, the brain may be convinced to do such things and work marvels when it comes to our positive mental training processes.
Here are a few of the areas where hypnosis may do wonders for the mind particularly with behavioral approaches and the positive mental conditioning procedure.
With hypnosis, even with self-suggestion, we may heighten our sense of concentration. This is especially helpful when we want to train our minds to center on what is truly important for us and separate out other trivial thoughts.
The concentration facet has been discovered to be specifically helpful for those who wish to improve social and people skills, communicating skills, memory and comprehension, creative thinking, centering and much more.
One’s personal mind-set may also be bettered dramatically through hypnosis, particularly for those who want to improve their personal welfare for the enhancement of their vocations, professional and personal relationships, and focusing toward accomplishing goals.
A different advantage of hypnosis is the life-changing capacity in helping individuals overcome their dreads. By hypnosis, those dreads may be accessed and modified, utilizing hypnosis processes that may eliminate irrational thoughts and dreads.
Taking away negative thoughts in the human mind is out and away the greatest breakthrough that forged the practice of hypnosis and brings about a great glimpse of what individual hypnosis may accomplish for you Individual Hypnosis
What a lot of individuals state is that many things may be accomplished by targeting the mind over matter. You might be able to see what individual hypnosis may do for you.
There are indeed many Advantages to individual hypnosis, particularly when an individual is determined to see matters to the very end or dedicated to do things that he believes he can, then the possibilities are perpetual.
Even when someone trusts that he may achieve what other people, or occasionally even he himself, would find hard, he may actually do it if he just puts his mind into it.
Individual hypnosis is a positive reinforcement of mental conditioning and positive idea paths. While it might be simple to state that positive thinking may produce many great results, still the idea of injecting the mind to believe that way might not be as simple as you think, particularly when we're at our witting state, particularly when weighing the pros and cons of every one of our actions.
However with hypnosis, the brain may be convinced to do such things and work marvels when it comes to our positive mental training processes.
Here are a few of the areas where hypnosis may do wonders for the mind particularly with behavioral approaches and the positive mental conditioning procedure.
With hypnosis, even with self-suggestion, we may heighten our sense of concentration. This is especially helpful when we want to train our minds to center on what is truly important for us and separate out other trivial thoughts.
The concentration facet has been discovered to be specifically helpful for those who wish to improve social and people skills, communicating skills, memory and comprehension, creative thinking, centering and much more.
One’s personal mind-set may also be bettered dramatically through hypnosis, particularly for those who want to improve their personal welfare for the enhancement of their vocations, professional and personal relationships, and focusing toward accomplishing goals
A different advantage of hypnosis is the life-changing capacity in helping individuals overcome their dreads. By hypnosis, those dreads may be accessed and modified, utilizing hypnosis processes that may eliminate irrational thoughts and dreads.
Taking away negative thoughts in the human mind is out and away the greatest breakthrough that forged the practice of hypnosis and brings about a great glimpse of what individual hypnosis may accomplish for you. It might even help you win a gold medal in the Olympics!
Publicizing Your Blog In Your E-mail Signature
If you've a blog that you're especially proud of, and that you wish to share with others, there are a lot of gratis ways that you are able to get your blog acknowledged. Among those ways is something that you do daily, and that you might not even think about as a way to share your blog. Put the link to your blog in your e-mail signature.
Chances are that you send e-mails more times than you are able to count during the day, every time you send an e-mail; you are able to promote your blog by putting the address of your blog in your e-mails signature. It’s always a great thought to write something catchy such as, See what I'm up to today, or Read my newest chapter here, depending upon what sort of blog you have.
The matter to remember about placing an advertisement in your signature for your blog is to make it brief, but attention-getting. You wish individuals to be interested enough to wish to click on it, but you likewise don’t wish to scare them off.
Exactly like it is with any advertisement, you wish to provide them just enough to be intrigued and take a closer look at what it is that you are promoting.
Think about what it is that your web log is about. What is truly going to interest individuals about it and make them wish to visit that is what you ought to include in your signature, and that is what is going to get individuals to travel to your blog.I have been promoting my eBook in my e-mail ever since it was published. Here it is:
Joe Sottile
www.joesillysottile.net101 SECRETS! may be for you and your child if...
Is a ‘tween in your life struggling in that in-between spot between childhood and adulthood? Is she trying to balance the ever-increasing pressure of school, pop culture, friends, and family? Is he feeling lost as he seeks his unique voice, passions, and goals? Joe Sottile’s 101 SECRETS! A Backpack of Inspiration and Hope for ‘Tweens, is the right book at the right time. 101 SECRETS! shows these kids that they are not alone; in fact, they are traveling a well-worn path whose footprints have been obscured by the tumult of modern society. Sottile, a long-time children’s poet, retired elementary teacher, father, grandfather, and liver of life, tells stories and provides practical strategies that immediately reassure his readers, guiding them to a happier ‘tweenhood and beyond.
"He who laughs last didn't get the joke."
Do you have the knack to accept the things you can change and the things you can't change? Can you accept the numerous changes that occur in your life?
When you are able to accept things in life, including you and other people you find a way to take charge. When you're in command, it helps you to see how you are able to better your personal life. When you learn to accept you'll learn to discover you.
Many individuals in the world believe that when we act the same way at all times, we have instituted our identity. Politically incorrect! We have emotions, thoughts, behaviors, actions, and have been infested by a world of influences both great and foul. Every day we will feel something new, which causes our personality to reflect these modifications.
We live in a world that desensitizes us. We're surrounded by 1000000000000s of influences on TV, in the media, on radio, in homes, government, schools etc. Each to their own, but everybody is judging somebody at some time, which is something we have to accept. We can't alter these people’s behaviors and way of thinking, but we may change ours. This is a component of learning and accepting. The best way around the world is become your own influence and let other influences make another persons life misfortunate.
Once you learn to accept you'll be eager to laugh. For example, if somebody makes you crazy you'll see the humor in his or her actions. You might see the humor in your actions if you make an error and feed into their stupidity. Once you begin to see the humor in life, you'll feel better inside. When you learn to change to better you, others might follow. Good conduct has proven far more effective than words to promote others to change.
As you grow you'll feel a fresh hunger, and that hunger will guide you to discover fresh ways to better you. In time as you begin to feel better, you will see a need to exercise, eat correctly, and hang out with positive influences and so on. Once you feel this hunger, you'll feel inspired to labor to accomplish your goals.
Laughter really is the best medicine.
When you are trying to develop your personality, there are several things that you need to look at, but probably the most important thing is that you should have the correct realization about yourself. You should know who you are. It is only when you have a complete realization of yourself that you can plan to make improvements.
Each and every one of us has their own strengths and weaknesses. You have them too. You may be a very confident person, but at the same time, even if you don’t admit it openly, you surely have some shortcomings. If you are trying to develop your personality, the first thing is that you have to come out of this denial. Denial leaves no scope for improvement, because you become shortsighted about your weaknesses. Overcome the denial and accept to yourself what your limitations are. When you do that, it is as good as telling yourself that these are the aspects where you have to improve.
At the same time, you have to realize the things that you can do very well. There will certainly be a host of such things. And there will be one special talent at which you excel. This is the talent that defines your profession, or maybe your passion or your hobby. This is the one thing that you can pursue for your entire life, and keep becoming better at it. This is what you need for your professional, personal and creative growth, and it becomes the focus of your life. You may have a flair for writing, or maybe you can build websites, or probably you are good at sales, or perhaps you can handle a truck very well. All these are special talents. Realize what talent you have and keep improving upon it.
Understand your personal limitations as well. Do people think of you as a good, friendly person? Do you have many friends? Is your spouse happy with you? Do you keep your children happy? Are you prone to temper outbursts? These are the things you should know, and work upon them. The main thing is that you should understand that you have follies in you and improve.
In conclusion, if you are looking for personal development, you have to have a pragmatic view of your faults and your talents. This tells you which direction you have to take your life into.
George Saunders’s Advice to Graduates
I recently came across a superb commencement speech about the importance of kindness. It's definitely worth reading.
"Down through the ages, a traditional form has evolved for this type of speech, which is: Some old fart, his best years behind him, who, over the course of his life, has made a series of dreadful mistakes (that would be me), gives heartfelt advice to a group of shining, energetic young people, with all of their best years ahead of them (that would be you). And I intend to respect that tradition.
Now, one useful thing you can do with an old person, in addition to borrowing money from them, or asking them to do one of their old-time “dances,” so you can watch, while laughing, is ask: “Looking back, what do you regret?” And they’ll tell you. Sometimes, as you know, they’ll tell you even if you haven’t asked. Sometimes, even when you’ve specifically requested they not tell you, they’ll tell you.
So: What do I regret? Being poor from time to time? Not really. Working terrible jobs, like “knuckle-puller in a slaughterhouse?” (And don’t even ASK what that entails.) No. I don’t regret that. Skinny-dipping in a river in Sumatra, a little buzzed, and looking up and seeing like 300 monkeys sitting on a pipeline, pooping down into the river, the river in which I was swimming, with my mouth open, naked? And getting deathly ill afterwards, and staying sick for the next seven months? Not so much. Do I regret the occasional humiliation? Like once, playing hockey in front of a big crowd, including this girl I really liked, I somehow managed, while falling and emitting this weird whooping noise, to score on my own goalie, while also sending my stick flying into the crowd, nearly hitting that girl? No. I don’t even regret that. But here’s something I do regret:
In seventh grade, this new kid joined our class. In the interest of confidentiality, her Convocation Speech name will be “ELLEN.” ELLEN was small, shy. She wore these blue cat’s-eye glasses that, at the time, only old ladies wore. When nervous, which was pretty much always, she had a habit of taking a strand of hair into her mouth and chewing on it.
So she came to our school and our neighborhood, and was mostly ignored, occasionally teased (“Your hair taste good?” – that sort of thing). I could see this hurt her. I still remember the way she’d look after such an insult: eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things, she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear. After a while she’d drift away, hair-strand still in her mouth. At home, I imagined, after school, her mother would say, you know: “How was your day, sweetie?” and she’d say, “Oh, fine.” And her mother would say, “Making any friends?” and she’d go, “Sure, lots.”
Sometimes I’d see her hanging around alone in her front yard, as if afraid to leave it. And then – they moved. That was it. No tragedy, no big final hazing. One day she was there, next day she wasn’t. End of story.
Now, why do I regret that? Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it? Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her. I never said an unkind word to her. In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her. But still. It bothers me. So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it: What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.
Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded…sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly. Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth? Those who were kindest to you, I bet.
It’s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder. Now, the million-dollar question: What’s our problem? Why aren’t we kinder? Here’s what I think:
Each of us is born with a series of built-in confusions that are probably somehow Darwinian. These are: (1) we’re central to the universe (that is, our personal story is the main and most interesting story, the only story, really); (2) we’re separate from the universe (there’s US and then, out there, all that other junk – dogs and swing-sets, and the State of Nebraska and low-hanging clouds and, you know, other people), and (3) we’re permanent (death is real, o.k., sure – for you, but not for me).
Now, we don’t really believe these things – intellectually we know better – but we believe them viscerally, and live by them, and they cause us to prioritize our own needs over the needs of others, even though what we really want, in our hearts, is to be less selfish, more aware of what’s actually happening in the present moment, more open, and more loving.
So, the second million-dollar question: How might we DO this? How might we become more loving, more open, less selfish, more present, less delusional, etc., etc? Well, yes, good question. Unfortunately, I only have three minutes left.
So let me just say this. There are ways. You already know that because, in your life, there have been High Kindness periods and Low Kindness periods, and you know what inclined you toward the former and away from the latter. Education is good; immersing ourselves in a work of art: good; prayer is good; meditation’s good; a frank talk with a dear friend; establishing ourselves in some kind of spiritual tradition – recognizing that there have been countless really smart people before us who have asked these same questions and left behind answers for us.
Because kindness, it turns out, is hard – it starts out all rainbows and puppy dogs, and expands to include…well, everything. One thing in our favor: some of this “becoming kinder” happens naturally, with age. It might be a simple matter of attrition: as we get older, we come to see how useless it is to be selfish – how illogical, really. We come to love other people and are thereby counter-instructed in our own centrality. We get our butts kicked by real life, and people come to our defense, and help us, and we learn that we’re not separate, and don’t want to be. We see people near and dear to us dropping away, and are gradually convinced that maybe we too will drop away (someday, a long time from now). Most people, as they age, become less selfish and more loving. I think this is true. The great Syracuse poet, Hayden Carruth, said, in a poem written near the end of his life, that he was “mostly Love, now.”
And so, a prediction, and my heartfelt wish for you: as you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love. YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE. If you have kids, that will be a huge moment in your process of self-diminishment. You really won’t care what happens to YOU, as long as they benefit. That’s one reason your parents are so proud and happy today. One of their fondest dreams has come true: you have accomplished something difficult and tangible that has enlarged you as a person and will make your life better, from here on in, forever.
Congratulations, by the way. When young, we’re anxious – understandably – to find out if we’ve got what it takes. Can we succeed? Can we build a viable life for ourselves? But you – in particular you, of this generation – may have noticed a certain cyclical quality to ambition. You do well in high-school, in hopes of getting into a good college, so you can do well in the good college, in the hopes of getting a good job, so you can do well in the good job so you can….
And this is actually O.K. If we’re going to become kinder, that process has to include taking ourselves seriously – as doers, as accomplishers, as dreamers. We have to do that, to be our best selves. Still, accomplishment is unreliable. “Succeeding,” whatever that might mean to you, is hard, and the need to do so constantly renews itself (success is like a mountain that keeps growing ahead of you as you hike it), and there’s the very real danger that “succeeding” will take up your whole life, while the big questions go untended.
So, quick, end-of-speech advice: Since, according to me, your life is going to be a gradual process of becoming kinder and more loving: Hurry up. Speed it along. Start right now. There’s a confusion in each of us, a sickness, really: selfishness. But there’s also a cure. So be a good and proactive and even somewhat desperate patient on your own behalf – seek out the most efficacious anti-selfishness medicines, energetically, for the rest of your life.
Do all the other things, the ambitious things – travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop) – but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness. Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality – your soul, if you will – is as bright and shining as any that has ever been. Bright as Shakespeare’s, bright as Gandhi’s, bright as Mother Teresa’s. Clear away everything that keeps you separate from this secret luminous place. Believe it exists, come to know it better, nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly.
And someday, in 80 years, when you’re 100, and I’m 134, and we’re both so kind and loving we’re nearly unbearable, drop me a line, let me know how your life has been. I hope you will say: It has been so wonderful.
Congratulations, Class of 2013. I wish you great happiness, all the luck in the world, and a beautiful summer."
Do You Brush Your Cat?
No cat wants to be dirty, and it’s up to you to see to it that your cat remains clean. Grooming is really crucial, as it helps your cat remain clean and healthy. Grooming begins with brushing, as brushing helps to keep the cats hair from becoming hairballs. Brushing will get rid of loose hair, and help prevent the peril of hairballs. Many cats have trouble freeing hairballs. If the cat isn’t able to get a hairball out, it may result in a blockage of the bowels. Blockages are really grave, and may quickly become dangerous for your pet.
Cats that have long hair have to be brushed and combed on a regular basis, while cats with short hair have to be groomed less frequently. When you brush your cat, you ought to always watch for lumps in the coat and skin aggravations. You ought to begin brushing along the cat’s back, going from his head to his tail. Do this a couple of times on one side, and then shift to the other. Every area should be brushed a couple of times in the direction of the way your cat’s hair is growing.
When you brush your cat, you ought to always avoid brushing his face and paws. If a cat doesn’t like to be brushed, you are able to still groom him utilizing a different tool. The grooming glove is a great alternative to the brush, as most cats don’t mind it at all. Beginning young is the key to grooming, as it will get your cat used to brushing and grooming. A few cats that have started grooming when they were kitties grow to love it, many of which frequently look forward to their grooming time.
When brushing your cat, make certain that you check his ears, eyes, teeth, and claws. His eyes ought to be bright and clear with nothing residing in the corners. His ears ought to be clean, pink in color, and no sign of ear mites. Ear mites result from dirt accumulated in a cat’s ears, and may result in the ears shrinking and your cat losing his hearing. Ear mites are really annoying for the cat, and hard for you as an owner to do away with. The best way to eliminate them – is to ensure that your cat’s ears remain clean and healthy.
Every time you groom your cat, you ought to always aim to go a bit further with your examinations. When your cat stays still, you ought to always praise him and provide him a treat. If your cat doesn’t cooperate and begins to struggle, you shouldn’t fight with him, but rather let him go and attempt the following day. Once your cat gets used to grooming he will look forward to it every day. And you will be a happy cat owner.
Do you have a cat for a pet? Do you want to know more about them? My daughter, Mary Lou, has three cats, and they have a support staff of four: her husband and their three grown kids. That is to say, cats are rather independent creatures that depend on their owners for food and comfort.
Over the last thousands of years, cats have pretty much addressed their breeding themselves. To begin with, they were utilized for one purpose - hunting and defeating rodents. As the years marched on, we started to breed cats more to our liking. Today, there are several different breeds of cats - which you are able to tell if you look closely.
These days there are over seventy clear-cut cat breeds, which are accepted through cat registries. There are many registries that will recognize around forty breeds or so, as they exclude the more domestic breeds like tigers. There are likewise many variations too, including wild cats that have longer hair.
There are a few cat breeds that have roots going back quite a bit in history. A few Japanese breeds, like the Japanese Bobtail, may be traced back more than a thousand years in history. These cats were very common and well known throughout gothic Japan. Now days though, they're all but a myth throughout Japan and the whole world.
The basic cat breeds that are found in North America include the alley cat, long haired cat, and Persian cat. Siamese are likewise common, although they're well known to be destructive and to have a bad temper. Persian cats are really popular, proving to be loving companions. Persian cats may be very expense, depending upon where you get it and what sort of Persian cat it is.
Alley cats are the most common in North America. There are really several different breeds, although most of us simply refer to them as alley cats. They make great pets, although there are literally 1000s of them in existence.
The look of the cat is the simplest way to tell what breed he or she might be. Some individuals choose to go by color, although color isn’t as simple to identify. Different breeds of cats have different looks, like the Siamese and Persian cats.
Over the years, there has been quite a few breeds come along. Cats were among the first pets, and easily among the most popular. Millions of individuals around the world own cats, with many individuals preferring a cat over any other pet - including dogs. Regardless breed of cat you get - you’re sure to get a pet that make for an excellent companion for years and years to come.
This is a great book to read anytime of year. It's an excellent present to give to all the kids in our lives that we love. Try it, you will love it. More about it follows with this link: http://www.squidoo.com/love-you-forever-made-me-a-better-father-teacher-and-person
I am on page 288 in this new publication. It truly is a good book, full on inspiring stories...101 of them!
I am proud to be a small part of it.
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