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#Teachers, youth centres, and anyone working with teens or #domesticabuse survivors: You can download a free, print-ready kit on abusive relationships made from #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou. Artist Maya Drozdz collected the tweets and designed the kit to help spread awareness about unhealthy relationship dynamics. The kit that contains bookmarks, a poster and flier with tear-off slips containing different #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou tweets. The 11-by-17-inch poster lists statistics about domestic abuse and provides a website and phone number for the United States’ National Domestic Violence Hotline. It looks like an important resource on abusive relationships, and helping teens (and adults) recognize emotional abuse, manipulation, and control.
You can download the kit for free here
You can read more about it here
By: Elizabeth Gorney,
on 3/13/2015
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Ever wanted to change a behavior or habit in your own life? Most of us have tried. And failed. Or, we made modest gains at best. Here’s my story of a small change that made a big difference. Just over two years ago, I decided, at the ripe old age of 55, that it was time to begin exercising.
The post It’s never too late to change appeared first on OUPblog.
By: ChloeF,
on 11/21/2014
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Ched Evans was convicted at Caernarfon Crown Court in April 2012 of raping a 19 year old woman, and sentenced to five years in prison. He was released from prison in October 2014. Shortly after his release Evans protested his innocence and suggested that his worst offence had been cheating on his fiancée. He also looked to restart his career as a professional soccer player in the third tier of the English league with his former club Sheffield United. What has ensued is a huge debate about whether the club should offer Evans a new contract. One side argues that Evans has served his time and should be allowed to continue his career, whereas the other claims that his role as a professional sportsman marks him out as a role model for his local community and the youngsters that support his team. A rape conviction they say is not compatible with the standards that society demands from its sports stars.
The debate in England over Evans is nothing new. In the US the National Football League (NFL) has had a personal conduct policy in place since 1997. This allows the NFL to take action against any player convicted of a domestic abuse offence including suspensions and fines. Similarly in Australian Rules Football (AFL) the governing body introduced its Respect and Responsibility programme in 2005 to educate players about violence against women. The problem in all these cases, indeed a difficulty for most branches of the sporting world, is that the big box office draws are highly paid male athletes operating out of dressing rooms that are hyper masculine and underpinned by an atmosphere of sexual aggression. As the star players are vital to the industry and ensure that box office receipts and television income remain high, the governing authorities of many male team sports have been slow to act decisively in cases where players have been charged or convicted of rape or domestic abuse. Since the start of the new millennium 48 NFL players have been found guilty of domestic abuse. In 88% of the cases the NFL either banned the player for a single game or else took no action. Similarly the AFL has been slow to take action against players. In the last two years players at the St Kilda Saints and North Melbourne clubs were charged with rape, and in both cases the clubs and the AFL stated that the players would remain available for selection and on full salaries prior to their trials.
It is clear that the male sporting world has not taken the issue of violence against women seriously. Clubs and managers that demand a strong dressing room, where loyalty to the team is paramount and aggression is part of the game has create a masculine environment where women cannot be respected. In a sporting world where those players are then highly paid, cosseted by their management and agents, women have little function beyond their sexual availability.
The debate in the US around the case of NFL player Ray Rice, who was caught on camera punching his partner unconscious, and that of Ched Evans in England, have piled pressure on clubs and governing bodies to take the issues of sexual and domestic violence by players seriously. In the Ched Evans case the Sheffield born gold medal winning athlete, Jessica Ennis-Hill, stated that if Evans was offered a contract by the club she would ask that her name be removed from the stand that was named after her when she won her Olympic title in 2012. Ennis-Hill stated that ‘those in positions of influence should respect the role’s they play in young people’s lives and set a good example’. And herein lies the whole contradiction around the issue of male sports stars and their attitudes towards sexual and domestic violence.
Modern sport had its roots in Victorian Britain, and would spread around the world in various forms. No matter what type of sport emerged in any given setting across the globe the Victorian obsession that sport had an ethical ethos of fair play and gentlemanly conduct was hard wired into the meaning that society gave sport. As a result contemporary sport is supposed to be played in the right way in accordance with the rules, and athletes are supposed to conduct themselves in a certain way. To be an elite athlete is to be a role model and society expects athletes to display positive attributes on and off the field of play. But why should society expect that athletes, often from the lower end of the socio-economic spectrum and with poor educational attainment, to behave like some form of idealised Victorian gentleman? However, as the sports star is expected to be the model citizen, because the ethics of sport are so deeply embedded in the collective consciousness, their conduct does matter. It matters to many followers of sport, is of interest to the media, and is increasingly becoming important to sponsors as they assess the value of any team or athlete in terms that stretch beyond their success on the field of play.
This is why sports teams and governing bodies will have to start taking firm action against those found guilty of sexual and domestic violence. Guilty players will have to be banned from the game and lose their chance of earning their fortune. Not only will this send a clear message to players that violence against women in unacceptable, it will also shape the thinking of the generation of young boys who see their sporting heroes as role models. If, in the future, they see players who respect women, then male attitudes will improve across society. Those who govern the world of male professional sport have to realise that they administer not simply their games, but they are also responsible for the meaningful creation of men with positive values who can act, in the best ways, as role models.
Featured image credit: “Blades”, by Kopii90 (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
The post Should we let them play? appeared first on OUPblog.
I usually blog and promote fellow children's authors through Write What Inspires You and today I am compelled to shift gears a bit. Author, Erin Ireland as she braves the world to share her story…
Please welcome guest author blogger, Erin Ireland! Applause, applause!
A Voice in the Nightwas a long time coming. Many obstacles were fighting me and making me doubt that I would ever be able to express my thoughts in print. Number one action was, for me to get from under the pressures of life. The book rested in the back of my mind with thoughts that reminded me; no matter how difficult these times are, I still have my voice, and someday I will express them to the world and be able to write a book.
Well that time came in 2012. I had been homeless for two long years and finally I found refuge in an apartment. After all of the humiliation, I could now have some dignity. Finally I could be counted among the normal people. I went to the blind center and bought a computer for $100. Whoo! Whoo! I was set.
I contacted my publisher and she accepted my books once again. A few years before they had been under contract with her, but unfortunately I was forced to cancel them. The Publisher so kindly gave me new contracts. How blessed was I? I was on top of the world. What more could I want? New contracts, new place to live; I was starting a new life.
Then along came Steve Harris and Jack Canfield and they offered a new program titled The Best Seller Blueprint Program. There were lots of new things embracing my life. The program was expensive and I had little money, I pondered the indulgence of taking a course I really couldn’t afford. I thought and thought, my money was precious, but in the end, I signed up.
I spent the entire summer, twelve weeks studying with those guys. Every day I was like a kid in a candy shop with all they had to offer. I was floundering with my book of memoirs and how to put it together. I would write an event from my life, but couldn’t get it in order, no matter how I tried. I wasn’t able to pull that emotion out and express it properly.
Then Jack and Steve said trying to write your own story before you have given something to others is not going to fly. They are avid believers in giving back first and then going forward with what you desire; giving before you take.
That sounded right to me. I thought, maybe I need to back up here and write a book that will help others instead of trying to self-indulge in my experiences. After all, my experiences have probably developed into expertise in the subject of abuse. I could actually save lives if I were to present a self-help book that would open eyes and guide people to a better life. This had to be better than me just telling my personal story.
Well, once the idea resonated and permeated my brain, I was off and running. They taught me how to structure the book. How to set up the chapters, and how to bring my expertise to the page. I had finished the first draft in three months. I spent the next year revising and getting two professional edits. They recommended two edits, so I was fortunate enough to be able to get two edits.
I thought, wow! I’m going to publish this book before the end of the year, 2013. I was hoping for October because I was told that was National Abuse Month. The plans of mice and men as they say, came to a disastrous crash. I became ill and in November the unexpected happened. To my horror, I was homeless once again.
Late at night chemicals came down into my apartment. The smell was like cherries that were mixed with chemicals. It shot my blood pressure up very high. I went to the hospital with a heart event as they call them. That happened three more times in a span of about eight days. Everything I owned was destroyed and I had to throw it all away. I was left with almost nothing. Nowhere to go, living in a hotel. I was off line for nine months and unable to write. I had no computer. Everything had been polluted.
Many events took place between these times, but better left for the next book. A short while ago I bought a new computer. I took my files to be transferred on to the new computer. Came home and realized they had lost 50% of my files, including the final edit of my new book. I was beginning to believe I wasn’t to publish this book. Luckily my editor had a copy and my friends had copies. I was back in business.
Writing this book was inspired by Jack Canfied and Steve Harris, but also it was inspired by knowing that I have experiences that are not and should not ever go to waste. Our experiences in life, good and bad, are our tools to inspire and help others. If we throw away our tools we can’t do God’s work. Abuse is a terrible thing and I feel in all of my turmoil that I have been blessed by God to bring enlightenment to all those who wish to listen to my words of down in the trench experience. I have been in the deep and dark, and I do know what it is you need to do to avoid the physical and emotional battered life. I wish for all to know that they are entitled to an abuse free life. For no man/women is happy if they are not free.
About Erin Ireland
Erin Ireland writes for those who feel they have no voice. She is a woman who has spent many years observing the abuse of others. Her experiences have been many in the direction of others who suffer in silence with isolation, controlled obsessions, verbal abuse, Superior attitudes, deceit, jealousy, physical, and sexual assaults, and many more indignities suffered everyday by beautiful people.
Erin Ireland has suffered a great deal of abuse in her own life, and writes from her heart when explaining what she feels is an inappropriate act against another.
Her passion for the subject of abuse runs deep, and reflects in her sometimes overpowering expressions of what she would like to change in life for you. She wishes for all to come to her website, feel welcome, and hopes that all will find some refuge and comfort here. www.erinirelandwrites.com
Erin Ireland is a nom de plume, in order to protect the innocent. She will always speak her mind and the truth for the betterment of all those who seek answers and comfort. She has written a book Titled, A Voice in the Night: Silent Abuse, The Early Warning Signs That Could Save Your Life. This is a book to help others bypass the long suffering that can be eliminated if they can learn to view the traits of an abuser early on.
She is writing for others to see the light. Erin hopes for them be a lamp unto themselves. She wishes for them to find there safe ground to stand on, before they have spent their entire lives wondering: what it is that they have done to deserve such demeaning treatment? Abuse is a conditioning that can be unlearned. Every human being is entitled to an abuse free life.
Erin, it's been my pleasure to host you today. Best wishes to your success!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Best wishes,Donna M. McDineMulti Award-winning Children's AuthorIgnite curiosity in your child through reading!Connect with Donna McDine on Google+
A Sandy Grave ~ January 2014 ~ Guardian Angel Publishing, Inc. ~ 2014 Purple Dragonfly 1st Place Picture Books 6+, Story Monster Approved, Beach Book Festival Honorable Mention 2014, Reader's Favorite Five Star Review
Powder Monkey ~ May 2013 ~ Guardian Angel Publishing, Inc. ~ Story Monster Approved and Reader's Favorite Five Star Review
Hockey Agony ~ January 2013 ~ Guardian Angel Publishing, Inc. ~ Story Monster Approved and Reader's Farvorite Five Star Review
The Golden Pathway ~ August 2010 ~ Guardian Angel Publishing, Inc.~ Literary Classics Silver Award and Seal of Approval, Readers Favorite 2012 International Book Awards Honorable Mention and Dan Poynter's Global e-Book Awards Finalist 
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By:
Katie DeKoster,
on 3/8/2013
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Three Times Lucky by Sheila Turnage, Dial, 2012, 256 pp, ISBN: 0803736703
Recap:As an infant who washed ashore in a hurricane, tied to a scrap from a billboard, Mo(ses) LeBeau surely does have luck on her side. (Even if all of that luck hasn't helped her find her Upstream Mother in the last eleven years)
But now Mo and her best friend Dale are going to need more than luck if they're going to solve a murder and bring Mo's adopted family home safe again!
Review:
Sheila Turnage's Three Times Lucky found it's way into my book bag via School Library Journal's Battle of the Books. The very first thing that grabbed my attention was Ms. Mo LeBeau herself. That girl is downright hilarious! I have a (bad?) habit of turning down pages when there's a line I want to remember, and I turned the first three corners down before realizing that Mo was going to make me laugh out loud, or at least crack a grin, on pretty near every page.
Everyone else in Tupelo Landing, NC is just as colorful a character, and the town itself reminded me of a more country-fied version of Stars Hollow - everybody knows everybody else's business and, for the most part, they love each other just the same.
The plot of the story was where I got stuck. It was about a murder, but the writing was just so funny and cute that I never got that creepy murder feeling. In fact, for a long time I was sure that the murder was going to end up being a hoax. There's another serious plot line going on at the same time, regarding Dale's alcoholic, abusive father, but the reader never actually sees this firsthand until the very end, so again... I just wasn't getting the intense vibe that the story probably deserved. For me, the quick-witted, clever narration from 11-year-old Mo just never seemed to gel with the actual story she was telling.
But maybe that's part of the point? I mean, Mo was only 11, and she was 100% into solving the case with her Desperado Detective partner Dale, so maybe she was just telling the story as seriously as a 11-year-old is able to? Help me out here, book lovers! I know a number of you have read this one and loved it. What do you think I'm missing?
Recommendation:
Three Times Lucky would be perfect for middle grade readers (in this case, I'm picturing grades 4 - 6) who like to laugh and maybe even solve a mystery.
BOB Prediction:Three Times Lucky goes up against
Endangered in the first round, and if I were the judge... I would give it to
Endangered, no question.
Quotable Quotes:
- "Demons!" he gasped, pointing vaguely in my direction. I sighed. Dale's family is Baptist. - Mo
- I tried not to sound impressed. "You stole Mr. Jesse's boat?" He studied his fingernails. "I wouldn't say stole," he said. "But I did borrow it pretty strong." - Mo and Dale
Okay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt, Clarion Books, 2011, 368 pp, ISBN: 0547152604
Recap:When Doug's dad loses his job, their family is forced to pick up and move to stupid Marysville. And moving is never easy, but it's even more difficult when half the town thinks you're some kind of skinny thug and your big brother's just come back from Vietnam. His father is pretty abusive too, but that's nothing new.
When Doug finds his way into the public library -
So what? So what? It's not like he's reading books - things start to shift. Not very quickly, not so's you would even notice at first. But a change is coming.
Review:Who would have ever thought that a book about Audobon's bird paintings would become one of my favorites of the whole year? Not me, that's for sure. But Gary Schmidt's Okay for Now won me over almost immediately.
I am telling you right now. Do not be dissuaded by the weird/boring cover or all of the Audobon talk. Okay for Now is will not disappoint. And I think the #1 reason why is Voice. I can't remember the last time I read a book with such an incredibly strong voice. My parents visited over the weekend (Hi, Mom!) and I read aloud to my mom pretty much the entire way to church and back because every single paragraph was better than the one before. I can still hear Doug's voice in my head saying "So what? So what? I'm not a chump!" in my head.
ALL of the characters in Doug's life are so real you would swear they exist in real life. I would not be surprised to find stupid Marysville on a map, and you know Mr. Powell would have Okay for Now on the front desk at the library.
I really want to keep this review short because the main point is this: Okay for Now is one stellar read. It's up against Wonderstruck on Thursday in the BoB, and not only am I confident that Wonderstruck is toast, I wouldn't be surprised if Okay for Now won the whole shebang.
Recommendation:Read this book. Boy or girl, young or old, sports fan or bird watcher - you're going to love Okay for Now.
Pull by B.A. Binns, WestSide Books, 2010, 310 pp, ISBN: 1934813435
Recap:After his father shoots and kills his mother, it's up to David to keep his family together. Determined to reinvent himself at his new school, David changes his last name and works to keep a lower profile. But even the best of intentions aren't enough to hide who a person really is inside. And for better or for worse, keeping a low profile just isn't in the cards for someone like David.But as David stands out more and more - battling with Malik, aggravating the principal, dazzling on the basketball court, and winning the attention of the tempestuous Yolanda - will he continue being able to protect his family? Or is he only pushing them away?
Review:Yes, Pull fits pretty perfectly in my February personal reading challenge, but I also picked it up because the boy on the cover looks exactly like one of my former students. The resemblance is just incredible. He's only in 7th grade now, but once he hits high school, I am recommending this book! Once he gets over his reflection on the cover, he is going to love David's story.
I was shocked to learn that author B.A. Binns was a woman. She has 100% nailed the voice of a teenage boy. Check out this article from Ms. Binns on how she learned to "write like a boy."In fact, she wrote so convincingly, that sometimes I actually wished we could hear less of David's thoughts. For example, do I really need to hear a detailed description of the...effect...Yolanda has on him every time that she comes close? No, I do not. But that (frequent) over-sharing is my only David-complaint. His voice was aggressive, strong, and at turns both arrogant and achingly guilt-ridden - depending on the topic of his thoughts. Just when he got a little too cocky, Binns would show David hard at work at his night job - a construction site - or give us a tender scene with David and his sisters and I would be back on his side again.
The general premise of David's story revolves around his mother's shooting, his and his siblings' guilt over not being able to stop it, and David's efforts to start over. While threads of that tragedy run throughout the entire novel, it gradually becomes much more about David's relationship with a girl named Yolanda and her boyfriend, Malik. It still turns my stomach a little just to write Malik's name down. He was a true villan - literally using and abusing any girl who would let him, and they
all let him. That aspect of the plot was a sad, sad comme
Hush by Eishes Chayil, Walker Books for Young Readers, 2010, 368 pp, ISBN: 0802720887
Recap:
Gittel saw her best friend Devory being raped when they were both only 9 years old. But because Gittel, a Chassidic Jew, had been raised in such a sheltered world, she truly could not understand what she was seeing. Devory tried everything she could to cry for help - just short of revealing the whole truth about the nightmare her life had become - but no one was willing to listen. When Devory simply could not take the abuse any longer, she used Gittel's purple jump rope to hang herself in the shower.
Bound by her ultra-Orthodox community's code of loyalty, Gittel was forced to stay silent about the truth behind Devory's suicide. Now, years later, Gittel is haunted by visions of her childhood best friend. Will she ever find the courage to try and make things right?
Review:
I honestly am not sure that I can do this book justice. Hush is an absolutely remarkable piece of literature. As I worked my way through Gittel and Devory's story, I found myself constantly thinking about the two girls and their way of life that was so drastically different from my own. Initially, I felt sure that the lifestyle Gittel described had to be pure fiction. In 2008 could there really be a whole community of New Yorkers who don't watch TV or touch electricity on Sundays? A community where arranged marriages are still the rule and no one is allowed to know about sex until they are engaged? A community where faith is so valued that all wives are full-time working mothers so that their husbands can be full-time scholars of the Torah? It all sounded so foreign, and yet that world is alive and thriving in America today.
It literally broke my heart to read about Devory's desperation. Yes, she is a fictional character, but in real life there are so many others like her - children who are sexually abused by family members and close friends, and who are unable to tell the truth about their situation. Through it all, I pitied Gittel. She could not be blamed
North of Beautiful by Justina Chen Headley, Little-Brown Books for Young Readers, 2009, 384 pp, ISBN: 0316025054
Recap:
Terra Cooper is an athlete, snowshoeing for miles every morning before school.
Terra Cooper is an artist, crafting intricate collages that tell the stories of the people around her.
Terra Cooper is a peace maker, deflecting discontent and smoothing the rough waters of her family.
But when you first see Terra Cooper, you only see one thing: the red port-wine stain in the shape of Bhutan, covering an entire cheek on her beautiful face.
Terra has spent her whole life working to go unnoticed. Whether she is escaping the stares of her peers, the wrath of her father, or the neediness of her mother, all she wants to do is escape.
But no land can go uncharted forever, and Terra Incognita is about to be discovered.
Review:
Continuing this month's trend of reading the contemporary YA novels that I've been meaning to get around to for at least a year... I finally picked up North of Beautiful. I've read countless
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.JPG "Domestic Abuse - A Voice in the Night")
I know what you're missing. The audio. It's de-lightful. The narrator brings Mo to life and gives it the sleuth vibe I loved. (My review: http://www.talesofwhimsy.com/2012/08/audiobook-review-three-times-lucky.html)
Great honest review doll! :)
I love that the main character was absolutely hilarious! I have a habit of marking pages with my favorite quotes, except I use those little post it strips. I love a story with awesome supporting characters, but what a bummer that you didn't get that 'murder mystery' feel! Thanks for the awesome review Katie! :)