I'm having a "I don't love my mac" day.
It keeps shutting off.

So, I'm not working this morning (I'm on an office comp, instead -- not working) -- and Liz made me an appointment to go and bring my baby to the doctor's (Mac Store on 5th) - the earliest appointment was at 1pm, so I had to cancel my lunch, and now my day feels screwy. I just hope that it is an easy fix. Or I will cry.

(BUT YES-- I have been backing up regularly WOOO HOOO!!!!)

-- anyway, I love you guys. I get crap for not writing enough. And then I get crap for writing about the wrong stuff.
So, let's see, I'll do everything right this time (haha...ahem).

I'm going to talk about the following things:

1. Publishing & (1B) Upcoming Events
2. My favorite Men in Publishing (and why they drive me crazy)
3. My Birthday (and how we didn't get thrown out of the bar)
4. How I Stalked Some Poor Guy and How He Inappropriated Reacted
5. A Shout Out to Barry Lyga (for listening to my stalking stories and not making too many "crazy girl" hand signals)

-----------------

1. Publishing & Upcoming Events
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This weekend I'm going to Connecticut to hang with SCBWI folk. Ari (editor) is trippin' down to Brooklyn, then we're picking up Steven (agent) in Queens before heading up to CT on Friday night. Little do they know that I am directionally-challenged, but I'll do my best to buy a map before Friday.

I'm giving a workshop on Marketing.

So - a hint - because non-fiction marketing is WAY easier than fiction marketing -- I'll tell you a secret: go read some books on marketing bands/musicians. There are some GREAT ones you can download. If you are (at all) good at taking information from one source and applying it to your particular situation -- you should USE this. Look at ways that people campaign for politicians (to work on your author branding) and look at the way people market local bands (to work on promoting your fiction). You do not need to reinvent the wheel - you just need to steal ideas appropriately and then morph them into fitting what you need.

I'm actually looking forward to doing this workshop on Saturday - maybe I'll hand out "Promote Your Band" booklets or something. Maybe I'll post it here on Sunday. :)

---

1B. So, in an attempt to give myself a pseudo-social life while I learn about the industry:
>> On Wednesday I'm going to the Lit Lounge to check out a new group: Queen Killing Kings. If you're gonna be in NYC that night and wanna join - Email me (hopefully my mac will be up by the end of today)
>> On Friday - going to the conference
>> Saturday night (after I get home from the conference) - around 10pm my friend has a flick in the NYC Film Festival (in the village, I believe) that I'm going to. If you wanna come to that, tix are $10 -- and it should be a blast. I'm supposed to be going out for drinks afterwards with him and a bunch of other people. COME, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

And then we can talk about how they marketed/pitched/branded themselves (the film, the group), and if it works for authors similarly or how we could change it. YAY - free workshop!!!

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2. My Favorite Men in Publishing (and why they drive me crazy):
Here are some conversation snippets from my convos with my FMIP -- these are Basically true. Like, I might've changed them to make them a little more amusing, but the general gist of the convos is spot on. Note: these are all people who work in publishing - but the convos aren't necc. related to publishing.

FMIP1: I was just talking about you to someone.
Me: Were you telling them that you were madly in love with me?
FMIP1: God no, I was saying how I wasn't at all interested in you that way.
Me: By "not at all interested," - does that mean you want to make out with me?
FMIP1: Um. No.
Me: By "Um. No." does that mean you're secretly repressing your deeper emotional needs when it comes to me?
FMIP1: ....

FMIP2: You look like a bad kisser.
Me: WHAT?

Me: I'm sending you something.
FMIP3: (reads the something). You are a complete nutjob.
Me: What exactly makes me a nutjob? Specifically.

FMIP2: Why are you looking at me like a puppy looking at his master?
Me: WHAT?
FMIP2: You're giving me the puppy dog bowl-look.
Me: Did you just call me a dog? Wait, did you just call yourself my Master?
FMIP2: NO!
Me: ::pfft::

Me: Hello (namedeleted)!!! How are you!??!
FMIP4: Hey.
Me: This is why I never call you. It's like, this should be the highlight of your day.
FMIP4: ...Sorry, should we retry?
Me: Fab. Ok, here we go. Hello (namedeleted)!!! How are you!??!
FMIP4: YAY!!!! It's NADIA!!! I'm GREAT!!!! How are you!!!

Me: So, I think I like this guy... (see #4)
FMIP5: He's too similar to you. Opposites attract.
Me: So?
FMIP5: He's like the male-version of Nadia. Run away.
Me: Are you saying I shouldn't date myself?
FMIP5: That's exactly what I'm saying.

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#3 My Birthday.

So - for my birthday - I was very low key. I went out to dinner & drinks with three other agents.
And had a blast. It was fabulous.
One of my FMIPs was there (#2) as well as two of the coolest female agents in the industry.
Us three girls went to a fancy-schmancy lil' place on 10/6 and got way too much food - but because it was my birthday (and because I was whining) they brought me to my fave lil' place to get diner-food. I wanted Mac & Cheese SO bad. So, we went to Union Square where FMIP2 met us. Then we went to another place, where FMIP2 proceeded to answer all my questions for me (annoying in a cute way). I had a blast. :)

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#4 Nadia, the Stalker.

I stalked someone (i.e. I went to see his band play). But I suck at stalking -- so I got home from my stalking and he emailed me and was like, "um, thanks for stalking me... i guess."

I told him he shouldn't encourage stalker-behavior. He told me I had gall to admonish him after I stalked him.
I said, "good point."
We're gonna hang out on Wednesday (please see earlier number #1b).

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#5

Dear Barry Lyga,

Are you reading this? Don't forget to email me on a regular basis.
I know you are VERY busy promoting your FABULOUS novel --
THE ASTONISHING ADVENTURES OF FAN BOY AND GOTH GIRL
but... Once in a while, say hello. I'm just saying.

Xo
Dia

I just got email notification (see below) that I won the Canadian Lottery.
I am SO pleased.... I can't even tell you.
I'd like to thank everyone who made this happen:

My mother & father for having me.
My grandmother for vetoing their first choice name - leaving me with the one I have now (that won me one million dollars)
Canada, South Africa and the ASBA BAND and Lechabile Communications for hosting this wonderful contest
and
(last but certainly not least)
Mrs. Anna David for picking my email (and the forty-two other variations of my email/name that showed up in the CC)

And now -I'm going to Disney World!!!!

---------------

THIS LOTTERY IS SPONSORED BY THE CANADIAN GOVERNMENT
FOR THE PROMOTION OF THE 2010 WORLD CUP TO BE HOSTED
IN SOUTH AFRICA AND ABSA BANK AND LECHABILE COMMUNICATION.


We happily announce to you the draw of the Euro-Afro-
American Sweepstake Lottery International programs held
on the 18 October 2006 in Essex United Kingdom and
Canada Your e-mail address attached to ticket number:
B9564 75604545 100 with! Serial number 46560 drew the
winning numbers 1/18/30/33/36/47 with a bonus Number 23,
for LOTTO 6/49 under the choice of the lottery in the
2nd category of daily three. You have therefore been
approved to claim a total sum of US$1.000,000.00
(One Million United States Dollars) in cash credited to
file EAAL/9080118308/04.

Ok, here is what I think is a good rule for time limits:

What you did on your date vs How soon you should expect contact
You handed them your phone number at the bar - don't expect anything
a cup of coffee -- week
a 'drink' -- a week
a few drinks, because neither of you wants to go home, but you planned on a drink so you wouldn't have to stick around if you thought he was a creep -- four/five days
dinner - three/four days
expensive dinner -- three days
kisses -- minus one day from all of the above
any skin to skin contact - forty-eight hours

Query (unsolicited) -- don't expect anything (it's unsolicited), but professionalism indicates a response as quickly as possible, caveat - if the agent is really busy, he/she (legally) needs to put the time and resources into dealing with his/her own clients work before she can get to unsolicited material. Try to be understanding, we try to be understanding too.
a requested partial -- six weeks to two months. More than that, if it's not listed on the website, call and follow up.
a requested full -- takes longer to read, so consider three months an average (I blow this one out sometimes, but I don't mind people following up)
if you receive an offer -- give the other agents a week to read and get back to you
phone call to your editor -- a week
phone call to your agent -- two days (unless they drop you a note saying they need longer), is average - I believe
emails to editor/agent -- Eek, ok - these can get lost in the shuffle, so i don't freak out for like a week. But, everyone has their own limits.


----

I took my own advice.

I emailed him (after 24 hours hit) and said I had a really nice time and asked if I could take him out for dinner (I'm a forward little thing, aren't i? -- but, it's terrifying, let me tell you)

He wrote me back and said he had a great time too, can we plan on dinner for next week?

:)

yay for taking your own advice
yay for it working

XO
Dia

Ok, so recently I've been going on a lot of first dates.
and have been carefully avoiding a LOT of second dates.

But last night I went out with this guy and... I liked him right away.
He was smart, funny and tall. And as the night went on, he was still smart, funny and tall.
I had a lot of fun and at the end of the night (there was a good night kiss) and a "I'll call you."

Note to self: If it didn't sound so freakin' psycho, I would ask for time parameters on that statement in the future.

So here's the deal.
About 23 hours later, no phone call.
???

Now, what seemed like an amazing first date has turned into a big, all out, insecurity-fest.
And everyone has a different idea of how to handle it.

Friend 1: If he doesn't email/call within 24 hours, you've been played.
Friend 2: Why don't you just call him and stop trying to play the game?
Friend 3: Give him a week and then email him. If he doesn't reply he's a jerk.
Friend 4: Give him two days, and then never think of him again.
Friend 5: Give him 24 hours, email him something innocuous and then if he doesn't respond, go have sex with every other man in NY.

(We ignore that one)

Ok, so the entire thing has made me fee introspective - as I've had three of the following conversations with clients:

1) One client who likes a guy (we're sisters, I know it), but he did something stupid. We discussed how risky it is to give someone the potential to hurt you by being honest with them about your feelings.
2) Lauren asked me if I still read the manuscript if the author writes me and says another agent offered representation. Apparently Miss Snark said she doesn't read them, so another author didn't know if she should notify the other agents of interest to see if they were still interested or just go from there.
3) I talked with another client about a pass she received from an editor and what it meant.

And, to me, all these things seem to be connected. And here's what I figure :

If you can be honest with yourself (not just truthful, people can hide behind the truth as much as they can hid behind lies) and admit that a lot of your actions (or inaction) stem from fear of failure or fear of looking silly, and then move beyond that to care or love or work or live in spite of the fear -- you are doing really really well. Most people can't. Most people spend their time justifying their actions and shifting responsibility and blame.

Sometimes it's just not about you. Which, for me, is a bloody revelation. I can be so terribly self-centered that I internalize everything... but even when you get a rejection from an editor, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's because your work is deficient in some way. Sometimes it simply means that the editor didn't get or want it. It's not a reflection of you or your writing. You need to repeat this to yourself like a mantra. It's not a reflection on me. It's not a reflection on me. It's not a reflection on me.

And lastly... when do you let go of someone with great potential? Here's the thing, I was having lunch with an editor a few weeks ago and she was having trouble with an author over edits and I asked, At what point do you just realize that it's not going to happen? At what point do you realize you either have to let it go or pull the book? And she said, "When I'm sure they understand what I want and why I want it." this was such a beautifully put answer and should extend... don't you think? When do you let go of someone with great potential? Whether it be a boy, a best friend, a spouse, or a potential business partner like an agent or editor... When you are sure that they understand what you want (either they've read your manuscript and understand that you want to be published with them, or you've filled them in that another agent is interested and you still want their response) and why you want it, you've done everything you can - and at that point, you let it go. If they still say no, or there is no response, it's time to move on. It's not a reflection on you (or them, for that matter) - it just is.

A lot of times I think we are working from that fear... of looking foolish or of making a mistake, and it costs us time and sometimes money, connections, contracts... but time, that's the worst. Sometimes, if you're simply honest with yoursef ---

If you can recognize your fears -- you can take out your ego. You can stop letting your pride & ego control the situation....
If you can stop letting your pride & ego control the situation - you can figure out what it is that you want.
if you can figure out what it is that you want, you can (clearly) tell the other person what you want and why.
if you can tell them what you want and why, they can make an informed decision on whether or not they want to give it to you.
Once you know that... You can move on knowing the cards were out on the table and it just didn't work.
And it still wasn't a reflection on you.

Ok, so the real test.
Can I take my own advice?
haha... I'll let you know.
XO
Dia

One of my fabulous clients, Simone Elkeles (How to Ruin a Summer Vacation, Out Now from Flux) is posting on two blogs today.

www.writersgetreal.com and www.booksboysbuzz.com

On the first one she talks about rejection and on the second...well, boys and books.
Go read. Go comment!

XO
Dia

Yesterday, when I got home from the NJ RWA Conference I was sick and completely fried. It was about six pm - and I passed out the minute I sat down (I woke up hours later, with my shoes still on). Gah.

And now I'm sick.
::cough:: ::cough::

I did have a LOT of fun at the conference - it was very well run (Props to the NJ RWA Conference) and I met some really amazing authors&writers.

Weird thing that happened.

An hour before I was supposed to leave, this couple comes and sits down across the lobby from me. They are both around my age and cuddling on the couch, I glance over because I'm ... well, I'm jealous or something. But something strikes me about the guy. He just looks familiar.

And then he looks my way and... SQUINTS.

Ok - so, I had a friend in HS who refused to wear glasses and would always squint. And he's about the same height and coloring...
The girl gets up and walks away, the guy stays on the couch...

I turn to Annie (my fabu-client) and was like, "I think I know him."
She turns and looks over her shoulder, "Know him, or high school know him?"
"HS Know him? but ...what are the chances? I can't yell out the name Doug and see if he turns around, can I?"
"Erm..."
"wanna go ask him?"
"Sure."
"Honey... I was kidding!" But she was already up and across the room.
They sit there, I'm watching (covertly) as they chat. He nods. She nods. She points. He looks over. He stands up, she makes dramatic nodding motions.

He walks over, "Nadia?"
I stand up, cursing the fact that I'm dressed like a complete bum... I'm wearing my morning after (conference) gear: sneakers, sweatshirt, I didn't even wash my hair that morning. I looked like crap.

TYPICAL.

He came over and gave me a hug and commented on how weird it was that we both met up again...
he asked me how I've been. Told me he tried to look me up (married name). He's getting engaged.
I'm getting divorced.
he apologized. I laughed nervously.

I had a crush on him in HS.
He had no idea (although once we were both in college, he emailed me that he "always liked that green dress I had worn.") (This boy was always great for my self esteem).

Anyway. it was so weird.
I thought about him, obviously, from time to time... and in my head he was always 17. And now he's 27. He's a man (still squints though).
And it's weird to think of him as a man, getting married, with a job.
I think, because it's still weird to think of myself as an adult... in my head, I'm still 16.

My friend Tony said that's because we're basically as mature as we're ever going to get by the age of 16, after that it's all just layers of sediment. I see the truth in that. How when you're hit the wrong way, when you aren't expecting it - you revert back to your hs-self.

It amazes me how little people actually change. And how much they change at the same time.
How are the kids? How's the wife? How's the house and the dog?

When did I become a grown up?

Speaking of grown-ups...
Right after that, I was reading Kelly McClymer's newest WIP (and crying my eyes out in the lobby - thankfully nobody was there to see) ::sniff:: while I waited for Bob & Jenny. I really hate driving by myself, so they were kind enough to trek down and back from NY with me.

But, talk about listening to two people who sound like great friends laughing and carrying on - with Bob making note of the fact (forty-two times) that if i just had EZ Pass, we'd have cut our travel time in half. And us zooming along for a whole foot and a half while Bob waxed on about something or other, and Jenny's in the back seat going, "here we go!!!! Weeeeeee." before I have to slam on the breaks again, two seconds later.

And then the giggling while Bob says, "It really wasn't that funny." Which made me crack up again, because it really was.

Weeeeeee.

Nobody really grows up. Not when you can laugh like that -- why would you?

So.

Marriage, laughter, tears, divorce, 'how are the kids?', EZPass.
weeeeeeeeee.

I'm taking a break since I've had a pretty productive morning.
Somedays feel way more productive than others, have you noticed that?
It sooooo doesn't feel like a Wednesday. I keep thinking it's Thursday and I'm freaking out because I have to take out the garbage today or something. Don't ask, sometimes I'm too odd to understand.

So, there seems to be a theme to the conversations I've been having in the past few days... Yesterday I read a blog entry (on one of the few blogs that I read with regularity) where the blogger was talking about how he was growing tired of his work, something that's never happened to him before...

And then this morning I was talking to one of my favorite people and we were talking about how people burn out creatively --

to which I had a horrifying thought...

What if that happens to me?

Of course, I blurt that out, to which my friend sighed and said... (the death knell) it happens to everyone.

So, in my over-thinking mode (I get this way every so often where I have to think in circles for a week before I can move on), and so we start listing possibilities.

He talks about how Michael Eisner was brought into Disney - a film studio guy in a company that has twenty odd divisions that are not film related, and how he turned the place around... made the company HUGE again... but suddenly started making the wrong decisions. And the board had to oust him. And probably did so two years too late. Because it's so difficult to oust your savior. How do you do that?

How do you fire the person who gave you your first shot? How do you leave when you still respect them and think they did their job well - but they aren't what you need now?

... same concept I guess...

So, I'm not coming into a company to fix it... but my friend was like, with you - it'll be years from now and it'll be your experience and wisdom (har har) that do it to you. Like, you'll have grown firebrand to the company you want it to be, and then your younger agents will become the movers and shakers... they'll have the finger on the pulse of the publishing industry as it is THAT day.

And they'll tell you.
They'll tell you what's coming up and you'll say it's just a fad... and this happened to the great marketing companies before they realized that all the buying power went to women. Like in that movie, with Mel Gibson? What Women Want?

And the big boys fall because they can't change, or they won't.

-- And I've always been terrified of this. Of become stuck doing one thing, of becoming comfortable.
So, i asked: Will I know? Will I know that I'm out of it?

And he's like: you might realize it, but by then they'll already be planning how to remove you.

Nice.

And the big boys fall.

There have to be lessons we can take from this -- it's like a military operation -- they used to do these great big formations that were slow and lacked the ability to make quick decisions (Have you read Fallen Angels?) and change directions.

And now they use smaller, more agile teams... that can assess the situation and react.

Businesses should work this way too.
Which means you have to cut out a lot of the red tape and layers of bureacracy that slow you down.
Everyone has to have a certain amount of decision making authority.

At this small bank in the Northeast, the owner who started the bank used to own Burger Kings, and he modelled the bank around the fast food model -- fast, convenient service (the bank is open seven days a week, longer hours, you can do almost every transaction you can imagine through the drive through...etc) and they also made sure that at every level, employees had the power to fix your problems.

So, you were never put on hold because, "Oh, that's not my department, I dont know." and if there is something they can't do - they transfer you, but explain the sitation for you - with you on the line - so you don't have to redo it all over again.

Anyway... now I feel like it should be my goal to remain young, agile, and not bogged down by THE MAN!
(haha, kidding) (sort of) (no, seriously...)

And to know when it's time to step down and let someone else take over.
Jeez - time to plan my retirement already.

------------

Ok Here are some NF books that I'm dying to read --- must have expertise & a platform.
I'm not sure if these books are out there, I'd need to do some research, but:

I'd love to see a good, basic book on Military & Business... (like described above)

A divorce book for young ex-wives (like my age, not that I want it for myself... but... oh shut up)

business books for yuppies (everything from negotiating, to climbing the corporate ladder, to working within the framework that is no longer old-boy network but now a mix of old-boy/girl...)

I'm kinda into youth culture at the moment, so I'd love to see another book on teens/young men & women who are influencing the world/business/politics/etc

:)
Dia

I have a huge, huge, HUGE laundry list of things to do today.
I won't even bother listing them here -- wait, yes I will, because I've promised myself (and Caren promised me) that if I finish all of it -- that I can watch the entire BBC-Version of Pride & Prejudice this evening.

So here is my day:

Task List:
-- I finally got the internet working (like butter...), and so I have a bunch of emails with attachments that weren't going through before, but now have to be mailed out to clients (yeah revisions!!!).
-- I have to clean off my desk (end of the day) because Lis threatened to do it, and I'm scared she might try if I don't do it first.
-- Figure out how my VMail works (for the office phone - sheesh)
-- Get my Glasses Fixed
-- Wire $ to a client
-- Mail Contracts
-- Phone Appt. with an editor I've been wanting to do biz with
-- Fax subrights contract to Germany
-- Write a letter (for official "change of address") to Clients
-- Work on package for film agent
-- Go to the Bank to change address & reorder checks
-- Database work (more... wah)
-- Call client's editor and discuss cover blurbs, cover, & marketing/pr
-- Pitch new project (follow up on old pitches)
-- Email clients and give them times for Friday's "update" phone call.
-- Stuff "rejection slips" into envelopes (sigh)
-- Stuff "I wanna read more" slips into envelopes (yay)
-- Work on website stuff
-- Have Lunch with an editor from SMP (YAY!)

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.
I think I'm going to hang a picture of Colin Firth above my desk as "motivation."

I'm very, very cranky. (so says the subject line)

In a rather unrelated conversation... this morning I was talking to another agent and I said, Is it weird that I suddenly feel like I might be rather good at all this? And, to that oddly-egotistical remark he responded, "I suppose everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion." And I was promptly slapped back into my place.

So, for about an hour this morning I was feeling very confident and almost ... comfortable.
Which is never, ever a good feeling. At least for me. It makes me lazy.

So -- I need some help to get me out of this funk.

I'm looking for a new idea (business idea, not a book concept) that could/would revolutionize the publishing industry -- or, at the very least, how people do business with Firebrand.

Please keep the dirty suggestions to yourself (or, rather, email them to me personally - ::lascivious wink:: ).

I'm looking for things that are really quite insane - but once thought about, you'd say, "Hey, why DOESN'T anyone in agenting DO this?"

Thanks, I'm looking forward to your creative (and scary) answers... I KNOW once I see the world of possibilities from which we can jump and FLY into... I'll be back to my normal, overly exuberant, slightly annoying, ever-uncomfortable (in a good way) self.

XO
Dia

PS -- Thanks to everyone who came to our party. It was fun, and I don't even like parties.

ok, so check this out... they have this thing where you call someone. They come to your apartment. They take your dirty clothes and then they bring them back. CLEAN.

They call this thing "laundry service."


Oh why, oh why didn't I move to the city YEARS ago?
This place was made for me.

I have this horrible cold that I caught from my kids this past weekend...
Between their six ears there are four ear infections (Nate was lucky enough to have BOTH infected)...so within hours of them leaving - I woke up with a sore throat and a runny nose. Noooooooooo! I hate being sick.

And we're having our "housewarming" party on Wednesday. Great.
So last night I took NyQuil and I'm doing much better.
Why is it that I only get sick before the one day each year that i don't want to be sick? It's like the adult-equivalent of the big red pimple on the end of your nose right before picture day.

Yesterday was interesting, because we had a full house.
I know I didn't blog about it here - because I was trying to keep it on the down-low for a while....

But a few weeks ago we moved the agency to NY. :) I'm really excited about this (and almost done unpacking).
Our new address is:

701 President St, #4
Brooklyn, NY 11215

We moved to Park Slope which is just awesome.. and filled with cool shops and little restaurants -- so if you are ever in the area, email me and we can go check out some of the aforementioned cool shops and little restaurants.

LOVE IT.

So -- in addition to moving, we've added a few people to our list of "staff" --- Lis works with me as my assistant and Chris as the Pr/Marketing assistant. Which is cool - they both rock and can "totally hang." Both of whom feel perfectly comfortable mocking me. (I think Chris said something to Caren at some point and she turned around and said, "Honey, I don't think you want to mess with me. I grew up in the Bronx.") (Of course, she says this wearing this beautifully elegant black skirt and sweater with kitten heels -- which almost ruined it, but not quite - apparently - because Chris backed off, fast). I thought, perhaps, Caren would defend my honor -- but I think her snickering when Chris said he'd miss my goose-honking-nose-blowing ruined it. ::sigh:: I AM SO ABUSED.

So, Chris, Caren, Elisabeth & I were in the office yesterday -- me whimpering about my goose-honking-nose. Chris working on stuffs for one of our upcoming releases and Elisabeth working on stuff for the interns.

Elisabeth is in charge of our interns & readers. We never had "real" readers before. Usually, in agenting, a lot of agencies will have readers who go through the slush before the agent gets to it... but we wanted to be in control of all of our own mail. Like, if it was going to be rejected, we wanted to be the ones signing the letters. Which, in theory, was great, but ended up not working for us...

I was taking (am taking?) way too long to respond to projects and people get antsy when that happens. I felt like I was missing out on good projects because I couldn't get to them fast enough and so... Yeah slush pile.

We're also working on a new website (YEAH!) and submission process. And once this is up, i'm going to be "open" for submissions again. I'm excited and looking forward to this - even if i am somewhat nervous. :)

So, we had some interns in last night for an orientation... which was interesting. They are so cute!!! I love interns (having been one, many many times, myself). We talked about what we look for in queries ... we read through half a dozen and pointed out what we saw when we read one, how to spot flaws in the story, how to spot flaws in the mechanics (i.e. a 134,000 word picture book - for instance), etc... They were sharp and picked up rather quickly.

We talked about how interning, if you're a wanna-be-author is really hard, because it teaches you to spot bad things (much easier than spotting good things, mind) -- and you'll start seeing those same things in your own work. Also, it forces you to define what you enjoy reading -- which is really, really hard for most people (me included).

This week, in addition to regular duties of reading, revising, pitching - I need to figure out the final touches on my WiFi - Which I think I have working (FINALLY) and the security on it (which I think I have... Still testing that baby out) so I can network all the computers. WAH!!! This is what it means to be a small business owner. :)

Ok -- so let's see:

Things I'm proud of for this year:
1) Selling books (of course)
2) Signing great clients (of course)
3) Finding & selling more adult projects (which I'm getting more into this year)
4) Moving to NY (YAY!)
5) Working on a new submission system that will KICK A$S. Seriously. ...Wait for it...
6) Planning Marketing & PR stuff for clients that I think will set us apart as an Agency. :)
7) Making it through divorce, moving, etc...
8) Finally rewriting content for the website.

Things I plan on doing in the next few months:
1) Working with Chris (and interns?) on marketing plans more now that books are starting to come out. :)
2) Connect with some more adult editors & read LOTS more adult projects.
3) Sign more great clients (of course)
4) Sell books (of course)
5) Send all the material to Gotham Group (film) that I need to. :)

Ok, I have a lunch with a YA from FSG today -- at 12:30, and since I'm not sure how long it'll take me to get there from Brooklyn (muah ha ha! I can get lost in a t-shirt) I gotta get going soon.

XO Dia.

"Ohhh... You're alive. Alive and Soft." - Chris (new guy - in charge of Marketing & PR - on trying to think of the weirdest things we could say to the interns to freak them out).

"Failure to prepare on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." - Elisabeth (my new assistant - in charge of Me - on trying to figure out why we can't get buttons made for Wednesday. She did -In fact- find a place that will do that fast a turn around).

Yeah!!! Welcome these two new members to our "family" - by sending them snotty emails (the same sort that you send me).

[email protected]
and
[email protected]

Music Playlist for today:

Freedom -- George Michael
Too Funky -- George Michael
Possum Kingdom -- The Toadies
Little Head -- Marvelous 3
Lips of an Angel -- Hinder (LOVE THIS SONG)
Cheating -- Jettingham
In Too Deep -- Sum 41
Watching Over You -- Shades Apart
Over My Head -- Lit
Teenage Dirtbag -- Wheatus

--------------------------

Book Playlist for today:
- Reading Manuscripts
- Snakes in Suits (Business)

Things That Pissed Me Off Today:

- Quicken vs Quickbooks. Bite me.
- The fact that I woke up soooo sore from yesterday's exercise that I couldn't lift my arms high enough to wash my face - and instead had to hold my hands still while I moved my face against them. FUN. Can I tell you how hot I looked doing that?
- Taking five subways, getting lost under Canal Street only to find that the train I wanted only operated through that stop during "rush hours" -- but I could "wait another hour, if I wanted..." Um. No thanks.
- Having Caren tell me, "I like your nose, it reminds me of X-Actress' nose" Me: "She has an ugly nose!" Caren: "Oh? Oh..."
- My wireless. Which doesn't work. So it's not quite the technological wonder it's supposed to be. What the hell is a "router"?
- The fact that I had to talk to a LEVEL 3 TECHNICIAN to try and fix it.
- Level 3 Technicians who sigh in disgust when you ask, "Ok, what about the UPC cable... what do I do with that?" (that was a joke - Level 3 Technicians have no sense of humor)

Things that made my day:

- Listening to my music as loud as I want, because I'm wearing a head set.
- Singing when Caren ran out to the stationary store.
- Waking up and it being warm-rainy out.
- Reading for a living.
- Dancing in my seat at the restaurant during lunch. Having Caren say, "...You look like you're dancing in Walk like an Egyptian."
- Planning a party for Firebrand's first birthday (and other big occassions).
- Getting out of the Subway (in disgust) but driving by the Fashion Week stuffs... :) Glowing about being in NYC. Coolest place ever.
- Calling Lauren to tell her I saw her twin on the subway, "OMG! I thought I saw you on the subway!" Her: REALLY? Me: Well, she was blond and really short, but she was caring six copies of Teen People." Lauren: "NADIA!" Me: ::cackles:: Lauren: "Wait, were they my issue?" Me: ....::sigh::

OK. I've totally been MIA for about a week now.
(More about this later)...

But because I've been totally MIA -- I haven't shared all the cool news. :)


Let's see:

Kelly McClymer's SALEM WITCH TRY OUTS book is out in many (but not all) stores right now. The "official" release is going to be around Halloween - so if you can't find it yet, don't be upset, just order it from the store or try back soon. I'm really excited about this book - it's tons of fun. The sequel, Competition's a Witch, is out next year.

Kelley St. John's REAL WOMEN DON'T WEAR A SIZE 2 hit the B&N Bestseller's & the Book Scan Bestseller's list with her second novel!!!! We are so very proud and excited for her - YAY KELLEY! --- Go check out Real Women (in stores everywhere!) from Warner.

Simone Elkeles' HOW TO RUIN A SUMMER VACATION is out October 1st -- with the current "heated" nature in Israel and the middle east in general - I'm interested in seeing how Simone's book (about a young girl whose estranged father takes her to Israel for the summer to reconnect her to her heritage) does with its audience. Simone has a knack for creating these obnoxiously-loveable characters that you want to strangle/love forever.

...Hm... there is still a lot of agency news... but I'm keeping that under wraps for now.
More on it later.

---

I'm sitting in a hotel in Ithaca, NY -- at the Southern Tier RWA Conference. I came to this conference last year - barely a week after having started Firebrand - and I had a blast. It's a small conference (approx. 25-30 people, I believe), and so you really get a chance to meet and greet new people. That's always fun.

I'm too tired to be witty or to be as ....unfocused as I usually am.

SPEAKING OF WHICH.
I googled myself (haha... I know, I know, going to go blind) and someone wrote that I'm hard to follow at times!
After I read this I called a friend...

Me: So this person says I'm hard to follow in my blog entries.
Him: Huh?
Me: Like, that I jump from topic to topic without any semblance of order or flow.
Him: .....
Me: ?!?! I do not! I like to think of my blog entries as Simpson's Episodes. You know - how they start one place and then slowly end up someplace completely different, but both places seem interesting, so it doesn't really matter. Except that's the old Simpsons. Back when they were still funny. Do you know that they were running for several seasons before their ratings began to drop and they had the idea to dumb themselves down. Hence all the slap stick comedy? And then their ratings went up, but all the die hard Simpsons fans were all pissed off. So it was really all a marketing issue driving an artistic change. I love how marketing and money will do that. Once, I was taking this class in Philosophy of Art and I wrote a paper on how Reality TV was a form of art (sort of) and I got an F! I was like, Dude, this is a philosophy class - you can't tell me something is or isn't. It may or may not be... but, it's like if there is money involved does the art cease to exist? And why can't marketing itself be art? Althought there is this old wive's tale (not really old) about any company that wins the ADDY - I think it's the ADDY - then loses the product. Like, the advertisement/marketing for the product wins awards, but then the product bombs. That's interesting, don't you think? I wonder where the term "slap stick" comes from. Maybe because they used to use one of those musical instruments that makes the "slap" sound -- like in that song... "de da duh, de da duh, de da duh duh duuuuuuuuh..." Do you know which song I'm talking about?
Him: ....

---

After that phone call, I have resolved to try and be a little more... um... normal.
But yeah! I'm off to conference - stuff.
You go buy a few books (see the list above) and then write me to tell me what you thought.
I'm going to go and try and make more sense.

XO

We all know the adage, "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again." But you can't help feeling that you have tried and tried and tried, to no avail. All that's about to change, dear Scorpio, as you begin to reap the fruits of your labors. You can expect to see things from a new, unusual perspective. This will allow you to sidestep the obstacles that have been blocking you recently. Pay extra attention today, and make a mental note, if not a physical one, of any unusual ideas you have.

And today is an IMPORTANT DAY.

Today is the one year anniversary of Firebrand Literary.
We are one year old today.
We have put that behind us and now are on to see what else we can do. Where else we can go. How far we can reach.

I'm giddy with the excitement of it.
There is a lot to do, so I apologize if I don't write much in the next few weeks --

but I promise, a soon-upcoming post will detail all. And it will astound and amaze you. :) I can't wait.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIREBRAND.


XO
Dia

Wanna corrupt a short person?

There is a teeming mass of young writers, ages 13-22, who need a guiding hand, a grizzled writer's experience, and a tall shoulder to lean on. Someone like you!

At Little Owl (http://mentoring.absynthemuse.com) is a free mentoring program online co-run by Elisabeth Wilhelm, youthful editor of Absynthe Muse (http://www.absynthemuse.com), and Hope Clark, saggy editor of Funds for Writers (http://www.fundsforwriters.com).

We hook up mentors--saggy, wise writers with publication credits or teaching experience--with mentees--a completely off-the-wall group of young writers who want to soak up your wisdom like sponges--to work towards an agreed-upon writing goal over a course of weeks or months. This program is offered as a service to young writers all over the world who don't have access to writing groups, classes, or a support structure in their home towns that allows them to flourish as writers.

This is your chance to give back! Help out a budding writer through email and chat, no matter where you are, or what you write, and get that warm, fuzzy feeling in your stomach that you're doing something profoundly moving for a young person. We have over 170 mentors listed in a wide variety of genres and writing areas, but we always need more! If you'd like to learn more about the program, check out the Little Owl site: http://mentoring.absynthemuse.com

If you yourself can't mentor, please consider passing the message onto to someone who can!

Thanks,

Elisabeth Wilhelm
[email protected]

Hope Clark
[email protected]

P.S. We're in particular need of speculative fiction, YA fiction, and poetry mentors!

P.P.S. We're also working on establishing a mentoring program at a school in an incarceration facility for teen writers there. We're seeking mentors who have special interest in working with troubled teens. Also, we're seeking writing-related material donations for the mentees. Please contact us for more information!

http://www.girlondemand.blogspot.com/2006/06/random-notes-to-authors-of-last-seven.html

Ouchies.

I was sitting around with Kelly McClymer last weekend talking about author branding...
We were discussing how Meg Cabot has a really strong author brand - even her blog entries seem to fit into this 'brand' image. And that it must be difficult because she writes for both adult and YA.... so blog readers will be both teen readers, adult readers, and authors. Tough.

Of course we were discussing this because Kelly's SALEM WITCH TRY OUTS book (her first Salem Witch Book about Pru - a cheerleading witch) is just coming out now (PS - Go check it out... if you find it at the bookstore take a snap shot for me and post in commens. XOXO) and we were talking about the Author persona when it comes to marketing -- for both the web and for in person events. But mainly for the web. What should an author's persona be? What if she writes multiple "types" of books.

We talked about a book called The Good Soldier (which I have had the opportunity to explore... I.e. throw across the room). TGS is a meta narrative. At its core it's about a man who finds out his wife was cheating on him with his best friend (who was also married). The problem is, he doesn't find out until years after the infidelity happens. So he's telling his story (the good times he remembers hanging with his wife and the other couple) paired up with the stories he is told later by other people (about the infidelities).

At one point he says this really memorable line about wondering if an apple... that looks perfect and tastes great, is any less perfect or any less great, if on the last bite you find out it was rotten in the center.

Of course, Little Miss Cynic that I was -- I always thought, "Hell - count yourself lucky it wasn't the first bite"

Anyway. So, this guy is telling multiple versions of this past. Except he's telling it years and years later -- as a "fireside story." He is narrating his own story -- but is he the narrator of the book? Um,... No... the REAL narrator is the guy who is sitting next to the fire with him, listening to his story and telling it to us (i.e. the guy who supposedly is putting the words together that make up the entire story/book).

Ok, so I'm not really sure if the word "narrator" is correctly applied her... but I just want to point out that the narrator is NOT the author. If you are writing in third person - the point of view that you are using is still "someone's" point of view. And it doesn't neccesarily have to be the Author.

Which is why TGS is interesting (if annoying) - it has so many levels of narrative that you could effectively say that one person told the main character a story. The main character is telling the guy at the fire. The guy at the fire is "telling us" and the author is the one who wrote it all (but is not - for the sake of argument) in the book at all.

-- I talked to Vonnie yesterday and we chatted (randomly) about Dr. Norrel and Mr. Strange -- A cool book from Bloomsbury that I read a while back. This book is written as if it was a dissertation on the historical influence of magic (as if it really existed) in Victorian London. It came full with footnotes and the footnotes referenced book that were written by "other" authors that created the supportive material. Here's another example where there is a deliberate "step" in between the story, the narrator and the author.

But on the other side of the spectrum is the book The Things They Carried which was one of those books that will always stick with me.
In Carried, the author really screws with you. The title page says. "The Things They Carried. A Novel." -- but the author puts himself into the book as a character. The main character is also the narrator and the narrator shares the same name as the author. This automatically makes the novel feel more real...but the problem is, it's about the lack of clarity soldiers have with their actions and involvement in war. So, the narrator will often retell the same story and certain things change and shift... and you learn more, feel a different perspective, and its as if you are aging with the narrator and feeling his confusion as you go along. Did this really happen? Did the _author_ really do this?

But no... just because they share the same name does not make them the same person. The narrator has a daughter. The author does not. The author uses this as a tool to create the ambiance he needs to make the stories seem real and then to play with that reality.

I remember arguing with a professor about this. But it SEEMS real, I'd say. Nadia, it says its a novel. Novels - by their very definition are NOT real.

I also used to try and analyze characters by saying, "But... I knew someone just like this, so I know why he's acting this way!" (I actually said this about a character in a 19th century novel, using the evidence, "Look - the character's name is X and so is my friend's name... coincidence? I think not!!! -- My english teachers LOVED me) instead of working within the framework of the story -- so, ::shrug:: I was always the bane of my english professors' existence. Actually they loved me. They just thought i was crazy.

Back to my point.

Which is?

Stop confusing the narrator with the author... the best co-authors create a seemless narrator. It's not about a voice that meshes as much as a single narrator to tell the story that two people are writing. Stop confusing the narrator with the author... and give yourself the freedom to play around there. This is another tool in your arsenal that most people (i.e. newer authors) completely ignore. It's tough, I admit, to distinguish and divorce the two in your mind ... especially as we've always been told that they are the same people (i.e. the reason most readers have SUCH a hard problem with a unreliable narrator. We feel like we've been LIED to. And how can THAT be?). You don't have to make your narrator all knowing in third person limited. But, when you do this you have to be aware of the decisions you are making. And more importantly the decisions you are NOT making.

-- Ok.

Which brings us back to the discussion I had with Kelly McClymer. Author Persona.
Another level. Marketing, for most... but definitely another level. Another layer.

Ok. So sometimes picking your author persona is like picking another character or another narrator -- just for the public. But you will write, talk, meet people in this persona... and you will need to hide certain things about yourself. That sounds way more drama than it was meant to. But, what I mean is... -- Ok, try an extreme example -- and author who writes for children and writes erotica certainly will have to have two very distinct "persona"s. She will hide her erotica from her young readers and vice versa, not because she is ashamed of it or anything -- but because it will confuse people. We're simple, us readers. We want to believe that Meg Cabot never has anything on her mind other than princesses and young girls falling in love... but she's a grown woman. What are the chances? Doesn't matter. I want to believe the fiction because I want to believe that Meg Cabot lives the worlds she writes.

We look at authors the same way we look at politicians. We hold them up to a standard. Where we want to believe everything they say as truth and that they have no personal lives that could interfere with the fiction they've created. :)

Plus, I think it is important to have a little bit of a disconnect between your readers and yourself. You need a certain amount of buffer. Like, with my LJ -- once in a while I'll be in a REALLY pissy mood and post something here, only to think better of it five seconds later and take it down again (of course there is always at least five people who email me and say, "WHAT WAS THAT?!?" Yes yes..moment of weakness. This is not the place for bitter rants. It's just not. I have Tony for that (haha - sorry Tony).)

But, it all comes down into thinking about who your audience is and keeping it in mind while you are writing (you were wondering when the Subject Line was coming into place....), especially in any kind of marketing. And sorry - but your LJ is marketing, of a type.

My LJ? I generally have one specific person in mind when I write. Which generally gets me into trouble. :)

Right now, I'm writing to someone I like a lot but am not talking to (for personal reasons) -- but I know he has read my LJ in the past, and I assume he still reads in once in a while. So, I'm writing to him, because this is how I can interact with him without interacting. In essence, I'm cheating on my "no talk" policy. And the worst part is, I'm the one who instated it! (So sue me, I'm weak).

But, I write as if he's the only one reading (not right now - I stepped back to explain it... ) and there are things that I'd tell him that I wouldn't tell strangers. I thought he'd get a kick out of the fact that I answered a personal ad that turned out to be a writer, because he was always harping on how I should never ever do anything as low brow as dating someone who I could possibly work. Definitely "conflict of interest."

I talked, before, about how your LJ is not a representation of the person. My friend Robert Burns used to always tell me that you can't really know someone you meet online. They aren't real. They can highlight bits of their personality and hide other parts. Tony, on the other hand, thinks that you can know someone better if you only know them online. You know their thoughts/dreams/etc.. how more personal can you get?

I'm not sure which I believe.

I love Brooklyn.
I'm bringing the boys today -- to "check out" the area.

I answered my very first personal ad ever... and the guy on the other end of that ad turned out to be a writer that I (form) rejected about seven months ago.

He figured this out (I had no clue...), and did the 'full disclosure' thing.
I'm not sure how to respond to this.

I hate the fact that I'll never know if he's interested in me or my professional status.
I often feel the same way about "making friends" with authors. It's hard to know if they'd like you if you weren't an agent.

...doesn't that just scream "Wahhhhh pity me!!!"?

Ok, I'll shut up now.

But, the ad thing - that's priceless.
I have to figure out what to do here... I really have no idea.

The worst part is? He wrote his ad as a short story -- and the main reason why I responded was because I thought it was so well written.
I wonder if he'd allow me to post his ad & my response here.... ::hm::

I wonder what would happen if we dated and he decided to dump me...

Dear Nadia,

Thank you for considering a relationship with me. Unfortunately, your personality, looks and intelligence were not a good match for me, and I will not be able to further offer you a relationship. I hope you excuse this form letter, but it is really only representative of my lack of time and not a lack of respect for you or your feelings.

---

Ha.

Goodness gracious - this is ridiculous.
::laughing::

Scorpio
October 23 - November 21

It is quite possible that you are feeling regret for something that you did at an earlier time, dear Scorpio. Somehow the situation seems very different now. Give yourself a break and don't feel guilty about what has passed. Other people's perspective on the issue is simply that - their perspective. This should not have any bearing on the way you view the situation.

I cut my pointer finger - right on the pad - so everytime I type (my 104 words per minute) I go.. Ouch, ouch. ouch.

So that's worse.

Bad --

My sweetheart, Dan Lazar, is one of the hotties in publishing nominees...and honestly - I didn't even CHECK who was in/out.
And I have been totally pushing Stephen & Michael... (I'm never one to pass up a chance to rant about hot guys)

But, really?

I Professionaly-TRUE-Love Dan.

The problem with Dan is, he totally doesn't self-publicize.
He's all "best man will win." -- But, Honey! You have to self-promote!!! (obviously he's not an author....or he would KNOW this).

So, I'm going to do it for him.
Please go to the post:

http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/awards/vote_on_the_hottie_of_publishing_mens_division_42138.asp

and vote for Dan. He's an absolute sweetheart and should be in the top three.
And tell everyone else too. :)

If you need more reasons why:

1) Whenever I have a problem or professional "bad day" - I call Dan first and he always tells me the thing I most need to hear, and then follows up with good advice. (But, he knows well enough to tell me that I'm OK & wonderful first.. and then hit me with the, OK, but you NEED to do this and not be a weenie.). UM, hello? If that doesn't make him swoon worthy...

2) Have you seen his sold-projects list? My knees go gooey just thinking about it.

3) and for straight hotness -- he's got the boy next door thing going on. And I'm totally all about Dawson's Creek-style-love.

Ok, that's it.
XO
Dia

Agent Obscura called me last night with a request. She needed content for her blog.

Never one to disappoint a lady, I agreed to send her a post when I had something good to deliver to AO readers (you might call them "obscurantists").

Then this morning came big, big news.

Is it a seven-figure deal? Has Stephen Barbara poached somebody's star client, you ask?

Oh no. This is far, far more exciting than that. I've been nominated for GalleyCat's "Hotties in Publishing" web poll. And you know I want to win it. In fact, I expect huge support from readers of this blog.

Of course -- reality check -- I haven't won anything yet. And Lord knows it's a bit of faint praise, given the dearth of men
in publishing.

But I have to say it feels good to be loved. Very good. If only I could figure out who nominated me . . . Mom, was that you?

From Delilah:

Here's the deal. I need a new title for my historical romance and it needs to grab the attention of the publishers. So I'm gonna try and make this fun. If I pick your title, I will send you a $25 gift card to Barnes and Noble. Seriously!!!! Please HELP and you might end up with the gift card. So here's the main idea of the story. The story takes place in 1830, London. The heroine's grandmother is a French courtesan who goes and opens up a school for rakes that teaches everything a man needs to know about seduction and how to upkeep one's mistress once the seduction is complete. Everyone in London is in an uproar, including the heroine, but the male aristocracy is secretly loving it and are all rushing to enroll. When the grandmother suffers a stroke and her beloved school threatens to fall apart, the heroine decides to set aside her misgivings and help her grandmother with the school. Even though her grandmother taught her everything there is to know about men and sex (more than any girl should know) her level of "real" experience only amounts to an incompleted night with the hero. Bottom line, the story is HOT and FUNNY. Any ideas???????