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April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (#SAAM), and today (April 27) is #DenimDay. I’m wearing denim to show my support for other survivors, and to take a stand against our rape culture.

As an incest, rape, and cult survivor, I was frequently told by my abusers that the rapes I endured were my fault. That I wanted it, or asked for it, or somehow made it happen. But it was never my fault or my choice. And if you’ve been raped or sexually assaulted, it’s not yours, either. No matter what you were wearing. Rape is always the rapist’s fault.

Being raped is devastating enough. But on top of that, survivors often get shamed, blamed, told to keep quiet, told they are ruining the rapists’ life, or are not believed. Speaking out shouldn’t be so hard; being listened to and believed is part of the healing process. We live in a rape culture that blames and belittles survivors, sexualizes young girls and boys, and encourages denial. This deepens the emotional scars from sexual assault.

I hope you’ll join me in supporting other survivors, believing them, and speaking out when you hear jokes or attitudes that blame, shame, or silence survivors.

I speak out against rape culture and support other survivors through my books–writing emotionally and honestly from my experiences as an incest, rape, torture survivor–and through my online presence. I hope you’ll find your own way to speak out and help others. One way to start is to take the pledge.

If you need support, you can call, email, text, or chat:
RAINN.org
WomenHelpingWomen.org
Male Rape and Sexual abuse Survivors

#DenimDay #DenimDayAuthors #NoExcuses #IWearDenim #TakeThePledge
#WeBelieveSurvivors #IBelieveSurvivors #ISupportYou #Survivor

I LOVE this post by ‪#‎YAlit‬ author Ava Jae On The Lack of Chronic Illness Rep In YA, and I’m honored that she included Parallel Visions in her list. We need to change the message that’s out there in YA lit for chronically ill teens: that their stories are only worth telling if they die or have a miracle cure. Chronically ill kids and teens can be heroes in their own right. I wrote Parallel Visions after getting asthma. It’s terrifying to feel like you can’t breathe. But chronic disease has nothing to do with us being strong, intelligent, empathic beings who can be heroes and have adventures, too.

Read her fantastic post, book suggestions, and reader comments on more book suggestions.

Happy Pride Week from Petal and me! I wish you pride and a feeling of rightness in who you are–always. I hope you find many, many friends who celebrate you and love you for who you are. And I hope you celebrate the freedoms we have and that we’re still fighting for, hope you celebrate love and the right to be who we are, in whatever way you choose to. Happy Pride!

I love reading YA books; they’re my favorite–and I love writing them, too. (Smiling) So much emotion and tension, strong-girl characters (and strong boys, too) who I root for, no boring bits or long passages of description that stop the story, so often characters overcoming great odds or fighting for what is right or learning something important about themselves and other people, and novels tackling issues that others aren’t talking about. YA books feed my soul–and they helped me survive when I was a teen being abused. So I’m happy ‪#‎IReadYa‬ week is here! (See @thisisteen on Instagram for more info.)

I’ve been on a YA fantasy binge for a while. Some of my most recent favorites are:

Unremembered by Jessica Brody,






The Body Electric by Beth Revis,

Elusion by Claudia Gable & Cheryl Klam,

Everything That Makes You by Moriah McStay,

and The Taking by Kimberly Derting–all of which I highly recommend.

I’m looking forward to reading lesbian YA novels:

The Summer I Wasn’t Me by Jessica Verdi

and If You Could Be Mine by Sara Farizan. And I love Julie Anne Peters’ novels, and so many other ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ novels.

And I always recommend realistic YA fiction by Ellen Hopkins, Jennifer Brown, April Henry, Laura Wiess, Jo Knowles, Gail Giles, and many more. Discover the fantastic books out there waiting for you!

STAINED comes out in paperback today! I’m excited and happy. (Grinning) Like I did with SCARS, I drew on some of my own trauma and healing to write STAINED.

In STAINED, Sarah thinks she knows what fear is-until she’s abducted. Now she must find a way to save herself.

Sarah is a strong girl character who grows to recognize her own strength. And just like I had to, Sarah must rescue herself over and over again until she’s finally safe. I know that you can save yourself, too, if you need to. You are stronger than you know.

I’ve been so excited that I had to take another pic with my “Sometimes you have to be your own hero” T-shirt–the tagline from STAINED and a theme in most of my books–and the paperback copy of STAINED in my hand. (Grinning)

My lovely 94-year-old neighbour Nan took the photo, and though you can’t see her, Petal is on the sofa behind me. (Smiling)

If you want one of the special message T-shirts or hoodies you can order at http://www.teespring.com/cherylrainfield and when there are 20 orders they will print again.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Speak out when you can. Support survivors. Take gentle care of yourself. I do. smile emoticon

-Cheryl Rainfield, author of SCARS, STAINED, and HUNTED, and incest, rape, and torture survivor.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Speak out when you can. Support survivors. Take gentle care of yourself. I do. smile emoticon

-Cheryl Rainfield, author of SCARS, STAINED, and HUNTED, and incest, rape, and torture survivor.

STAINED releases in paperback on May 11th! To celebrate, I’m hosting this contest. Share to win 1 of 3 Limited Edition T-shirts, or a Limited Edition T-shirt plus a signed copy of SCARS, STAINED, and HUNTED.

To enter: Share one or both contest images; copy & paste this paragraph; follow Cheryl Rainfield (on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter); and tag @CherylRainfield. This contest is to celebrate STAINED paperback releasing May 11th! T-shirts are also available for purchase at teespring.com/cherylrainfield Full contest rules on CherylRainfield.com/blog.

Twitter contest tweet: “Share to win 1 of 3 Inspirational T-shirts plus 3 signed books by @CherylRainfield” (or whatever message you want as long as you tag me and include the contest image).

You get 1 entry for each social media you share this on. Remember to tag CherylRainfield so I can see your entry.

You get 10 entries for each copy of STAINED that you buy. Yes, this includes any copy you’ve already purchased, in any format. Email a receipt to Cheryl(at)CherylRainfield(dot)com

T-Shirt has two inspirational quotes–one on the front, and one on the back.

Open to US, Canada, UK, and New Zealand readers.

Contest ends March 30, 2015 at Midnight EST.

Winner will be chosen randomly using the Random Number Generator.

If you’ve read my books or interviews about me, you’ll know that I write about strong-girl (and emotionally strong boy), and that I draw deeply on my own trauma and healing. I had to save myself over and over again until I was finally safe, and I had to draw on my own strength to survive. I believe we are often much stronger than we think we are, and sometimes we don’t know just how strong we are until we’re faced with painful situations where we have to draw on our own strength to cope.

STAINED comes out in paperback on May 11! To celebrate, I’m releasing these limited edition T-shirts and hoodies. One quote is on the front, and one on the back. They’re available for pre-order now.

You ARE strong. Remind yourself or let someone you love know you believe in them.

Do you love my books? Do you want to read even more books by me? Here’s how you can help me (and other authors you love):

Buy a copy of our books. Publishers look at sales when they’re considering publishing a new book by an author. If the previous books don’t have good sales, another book by the same author might not get published.

If you can’t afford a copy, then please request it at your local library. Most librarians are happy to order in books that readers request.

Post a review–it doesn’t have to be long, even a sentence or two–on Amazon, especially, and also B&N, GoodReads, etc. Reviews help other readers find the book. This is one of the most helpful things you can do, and authors really appreciate it.

Post your review on social media: your blog, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. This again helps other readers find the book.

Post a photo of the book, or the book and you, a book and your pet, etc. to social media. This also helps get more reader interest.

Recommend it to your friends. I know I love hearing about books my friends have enjoyed, and your friends likely do, too.

Request a copy at your local library.If there are a lot of requests for a book, a library may order more. Or, if there haven’t been any previous requests, they may order a copy.

Recommend it to a book club.If you or a friend is reading in that genre, why not let others know about it?

Ask your local bookstore where the book is located. This may help to gain more bookstore interest in the book.

Add it to your to-read or other lists on GoodReads.You may help someone else discover a book they’d like to read.

Re-post an author’s book tweets, posts on Facebook or Instagram or other social media.

If you especially love my books, sign up for my newsletter or join my street team (where you can sometimes win prizes, hear news first, read a free short story, and more.

If you do any of that, know you have my deep appreciation and thanks.

I think safe touch is SO important. I desperately needed it as a child and teen in school from a few kind teachers who saw my pain; it was the only place I got safe touch. I’m honored to be quoted in Jessica Lahey’s article “Should Teachers Be Allowed To Touch Students?” in The Atlantic. I hope you’ll give the article a read. (smiling) I think it’s a thoughtful, insightful article.

As an incest and torture survivor who was also bullied at school, I had no safe place–not at home, and not at school. I rarely saw kindness or compassion; most of what I did see I got from books. But I had two really kind, compassionate high-school teachers who knew I’d been abused, and one librarian in middle school who was also kind. All of them were women, because I was scared of men because of all the rape I’d been through–and all of them gave me safe touch. It’s part of what kept me from killing myself.

I desperately craved safe touch. I was starved for it on a deep soul level. At home and in the abuse and torture I endured–my parents were part of cults, and they also rented me out to men for money and “shared” me with their friends–I was never touched except for abuse, rape, torture. So to get it from these teachers in a safe way–a touch on the arm, a rub on my head, a hug–it met such a deep need I had to be treated with kindness and love and warmth and humanity, and it helped offset some of the abuse and torture and cruelty. It helped me feel like I mattered, like I didn’t deserve to be abused, like maybe someone cared about me a little bit. It helped me believe in people, that they could be kind, and that maybe, just maybe the abuse and torture I experienced every day and night wasn’t my fault. But it did more than that. Their touch–and their listening to me about some of the abuse and/or my pain–also helped me want to be here a bit more when all I could breathe and feel was pain, depression, despair, and bleakness.

I struggled a lot with wanting to die all of my life. Books helped me to be here–they gave me an escape–and I also used self-harm to cope with the pain and memories, and often cut instead of killing myself. And I also needed dissociation to survive the torture and keep me alive. But that safe touch I got? It was like a balm to my soul. It was healing, instead of causing harm like everything I had at home. It was affection when I had none. Sometimes it helped bring me out of triggered abuse memories. It told me my parents and other abusers were wrong to treat me the way they did, even though I couldn’t really believe that. And I just *needed* safe touch on a deep level.

I think as humans we need safe touch; I think it’s a basic human need, along with food, shelter, and safety. It lets us know we’re loved. (I know there’ve been studies, for instance, on babies not thriving when they don’t get touch.) And those teachers who used safe touch with me, and were compassionate and kind, helped create pockets of safety for me where for a few hours I could actually focus on something besides the terror I lived in–I could learn and love to learn and want to learn for them (and me). I could breathe a little easier. I could hope for safety some day. When I hear people saying that children shouldn’t be touched in school situations, it makes me sad, and it worries me. If a child doesn’t have any safe touch in their lives, it’s easy to get really disconnected from people and life, and to not want to live at all. I needed that safe touch desperately, just as I needed to be heard about the abuse and to (eventually) get safe. A kind, compassionate teacher may be the only safety and caring a child or teen has in their life.

Do what you need to do to be happy, well, and take care of you.

That can vary from person to person. What’s right for you is what feels right. What helps you and doesn’t hurt you. And it doesn’t have to be what everyone else is doing. It’s what YOU need. What will help you.

For instance…I had a hard day today. Some of the things I’ve done to help myself–spent time with my best friend. Ate some junk food as well as healthy food. Held a superhero toy (I happen to love Superman and Wonder Woman.) Read a good book. Texted some friends. All things that helped me.

What helps you?

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration

Listen to your body. Rest when you are tired. Eat when you are hungry.

We live in a society that tells us we have to constantly go, go, go! Work hard, play hard. But we need to take time to rest–to rejuvenate our bodies and our spirits. And constantly working or producing isn’t good for us. Eventually our bodies–and our spirits–will rebel. And often we have set times for meals–instead of eating when we’re actually hungry. Instead of paying attention to our bodies and what they need.

If we take time to rest when we need to, eat when we’re hungry, we’ll be fresher, feel more alive and ready to meet the challenges we need to. Ready to work more and play more.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration

Be yourself. You’re just right the way you are.

We’re told so often through advertisements, the media, through parents and well-meaning friends, to change this and that, that we’ll be more attractive, or a better person, or somehow a better us. And of course it’s good to grow, to find ways to be kinder, more compassionate. But take a moment to see yourself as you are now. You are JUST RIGHT the way you are. Right this very moment. You are beautiful. Don’t feel you have to change for anyone else. I hope you can love yourself just the way you are. Because I think you’re special. (hugging you)

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration

Take time to recharge yourself. We need work, but we also need rest and play. It’s lovely to help others, but it’s also important to take care of ourselves. And sometimes we work so hard or are there so often for other people, we forget to take care of ourselves and do what we need to, to recharge.

For me, it’s things like reading a book, playing with my little dog Petal, talking with a friend and getting a hug, watching a show. Taking a moment to read an old reader email or post that made me feel good. Looking at a photo of someone I love. All those things help me recharge my soul, my heart, my energy so that I can keep working hard and keep being there for others.

What are your ways of recharging? I hope whatever you do to help yourself regain some of your energy and good feeling, you do it often.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration

Speak to yourself gently and with compassion.

How we speak to ourselves matters. The way we think about ourselves can influence how we feel about ourselves. If you’ve grown up with abusive or critical parents, you may have absorbed some of their criticalness or harshness and turn it on yourself. If you talk to yourself with a harsh voice, I hope you can let that go, and talk to yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would a friend. You deserve that same support.

Try to catch yourself when you’re being harsh with yourself, and change the tone you use, the words. If you do, you may find that you’re happier.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration

Do what is right for you.

Sometimes what you need is different than what others need. It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s good for you–as long as it helps you, doesn’t hurt you (or anyone else). For instance, sometimes I just need to stay home and read a book and cuddle with my dog instead of being out with friends when I’m having a hard time, while others might need to be with friends or go out and do something. Other times, I might find the opposite. It depends on my needs at the time. Or there may be times that I need to say something to feel right about a situation, even if someone else doesn’t agree. I try to go by my heart and my gut.

Trust your heart, what you need at the time, and do what is right for you. You’ll feel better about it.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration

Sending you warmth, joy, and good feeling. I wish only good for you.

If this is a hard day for you, I hope you’ll take good, gentle care of yourself. Remember that positive distraction–reading a good book, watching a feel-good movie, listening to music that makes you feel good, talking with a friend, drawing or writing or dancing–can help shift your mood or help you get through a hard time. And remember that many people know what you’re going through. You are not alone.

I hope you find some happiness today, joy in little things, have good people or animals around you, reach out to others, have some good food. And remember you matter.

Happy holiday!

Hugs, Cheryl Rainfield (and Petal)

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration

You have the right to say “No.” Do what’s best for you.

I think it’s hard for a lot of women and survivors to say no. We feel guilty, feel like we should always take care of other people, or do what’s best for others and forget about ourselves. But we matter, too, and our own needs are important. If you don’t want to do something or it doesn’t feel right, then it’s important to listen to that. To say “no” when you need to. Say No when you need to, and you’ll often feel relieved.

I hope you keep your own power, and say No when you need to. (And say yes to the things you truly want.)

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration

Reach out for support when you need it. You may be surprised how many people care.

I’ve often found it hard to reach out for support in my life–especially as an abuse survivor who was hurt and betrayed so often. But when I have reached out, I’ve been surprised to find people genuinely care. And how many of them. I think you’ll find the same.

People care, and they want to be there–but you have to let them know what will help, and when you need help. So if you’re having a hard time, remember to reach out.

If you’re in crisis and you’re reaching out often, it can be good to spread out your support network, or phone, text, or email a crisis line as well. You can find a lot of great ones here: www.crisistextline.org/get-help-now/

As always, take gentle care of yourself, and remember that you can get through this.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration

Open yourself to the good in your life. It will keep coming in.

Sometimes we have trouble seeing the good that’s already in our life. We focus on the painful things or bad things, instead of the things that bring us moments of joy and happiness. It may be especially hard to see the good if you’ve had a lot of bad or hard things in your life, or if you’re a survivor of abuse or trauma. I struggle with it myself.

But opening up to the good that’s there allows us to see even more good around us. Things that bring us contentment, happiness, moments of joy. They seem to build on each other.

So keep trying to open to the good, to see it around you, and you may find more comes in.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration

You can get through this. You are stronger than you know.

Whatever it is that you’re facing right now, you can survive it. I think we often don’t see our own strength–sometimes not until we go through something rough, or go through something rough and others tell us how well we’re getting through it. Strength isn’t in not feeling afraid, or not falling apart or having a crisis. Strength is in picking ourselves up and keeping on moving forward–after we’ve had time to freak, or sob, or lie there in despair. Strength is in being able to reach out to a friend and let them know how bad things are, or in finding something to cheer ourselves up a little, or something to distract us from our pain or grief or terror for a little while or a long while. Strength is in keeping on even when we thought we couldn’t. And strength is also seeing our strength. (smiling) Even if it’s only after someone told us how strong we are.

You are strong. And you will get through this. And things will be happier again.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration

Pay attention to the good in your life. You may have more than you realize.

It’s easy to pay attention to the painful moments, the hard things, the things that bring you down. They grab our attention, grip us tightly, tear at us. And sometimes, especially if we’ve had a lot of pain, abuse, or trauma in our lives, it can be hard to notice the good things that happen. The little things and the big things that all add up to help us appreciate being alive.

The hug from a friend. The friendly lick from a cat or dog. The smile from a stranger. Someone telling us they appreciate our work. Someone telling us we have a nice smile. Laughing with friends. Good food. Finding that book we want. Reading a good book. Time with friends.

I’m going to try to make an effort to focus more on the good in my life–and I hope you’ll join me.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #YAlit #writer #iReadYA #YAsaves #booklover #bookworm #booknerdigan #quote #inspiration #authorquote #writerlife

Say what is important to you–and say it with compassion.

We all need to be heard. The more we shove down what’s important to us, the more unhappy or depressed we are, and the more likely it is to come bursting out all over others, making an unhappy mess for ourselves, and possibly hurting relationships. Sometimes we’re so afraid to say our truth or what we care about that we can shrivel up inside, retreat from the world or the people around us, and lose happiness. We *need* to say what’s important to us, what matters, what we need, to be happy, and sometimes to make sure we’re treated with respect and dignity and equality. But we’re also more likely to be heard and treated with respect if we come from a place of compassion and respect ourselves. If we remember to treat others the way we want to be treated.

So say what you need to say, and speak from a place of compassion and respect–and you may find yourself a lot happier (and others around you, too).

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

Find what gives you joy–and do it.

If you were abused or suffered trauma, it may be hard to feel joy or even imagine it. But you have the potential to inside you. I think we were all made to feel and to find great moments of joy.

Try connecting with the child inside you, the young, innocent part of yourself who can look at the world with wonder–can see the sparkle of light on the snow and find it beautiful, delights in a rainbow in the sky, in blowing bubbles or getting and giving a hug, playing with a pet, finding a good book. Try to stay with the wonder, the happiness, the joy. And when you find it, do more of it. (smiling)

I think it’s easy to forget to find joy, the harder we work or the more responsibilities we have, or the more hard and painful things we’ve been through in our lives. But that’s when it’s all the more important to find joy, and to do the things that give us joy.

I hope you keep seeking out joy, doing things you love, things that make you happy. You deserve that. Happiness and joy.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others. You can see them on all www.CherylRainfield.com/blog

Be gentle with yourself. You deserve your love and compassion.

If you’re a perfectionist, or you grew up in a household with a stern, critical, or abusive parent or caretaker, on had a partner who was, then you may struggle–like I have–with being kind and gentle to yourself. You may be harsh to yourself, even cruel. But you deserve your love and compassion; you really do! And when you’re loving with yourself, when you give yourself the same compassion you would a friend, you’ll find that you’re happier and things don’t seem as hard. So try to be gentle with yourself. Don’t push yourself too hard. Think of yourself the way you would a friend. Figure out what you need to feel happier or more at ease, and then allow yourself that.

This can be a hard time of year for many people, so I thought I’d post more positive messages for people again–selfies along with the messages, so people can see the person (and author) behind the message. I think it helps make it more personal and real.

I will try to post photos most days of December for you all. Let me know if you like this idea.

And if you like this post, if it speaks to you, I hope you’ll share it with others.