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I’ve always been amazed at novel openings that start with one-liners: A short, concise sentence that conveys so many levels of a story. Its premise, its motivation and its mood.

I was looking at some books in my library and I found four novels that did just that with a one-line sentence of less than 10 words.

“You’re either someone or you’re not.” Some Girls Are by Courtney Summers

The reader is told from the beginning that being “no one” is not acceptable. The main character Regina relishes being popular and her fall from grace is pretty ugly; however, what is more telling is what she is willing to do to get regain her popularity. This sentence from the very beginning is telling because it states how important Regina puts social status on her list and how this belief changes in the end.

“I used to be someone.” The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson

Jenna knows that she’s different but she can’t quite put her finger on what exactly it is. When she finds out the truth, the reader realizes how deep the deception goes and how this first sentence has put down a foundation from the start. This first sentence also has a deeper meaning: Jenna now has to become “someone else” — a person who must determine new beliefs under new circumstances.

“I was born with water on the brain.” The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

This first sentence is more about the voice of Junior who is the narrator in the novel. It reveals that this is a person who can convey hard truths in a humorous manner. From the beginning, it sets up the difficulties of being “different” and being on the outside. And even though the odds are stacked that they can be overcome.

“I was born with a light covering of fur.” Liar by Justine Larbalestier

This is a tricky one because Micah is an unreliable narrator. But then again from the very beginning, the reader is being set up with some pretty crazy information. Is it true? Or it is it a lie? What I find most interesting about this sentence is that it lays down the foundation of a twist that when looking back seems inevitable upon a second reading.

These examples just so happen to be in first person point-of-view (POV) but I’m sure that I could find some other POV examples. I often wonder if these were the original first sentences or if the author went back and tweaked them. Probably the latter. But I do love how so much can be communicated so efficiently.

What about you writer friends? Do you tend to write one-liners in your openings? Or do you unfold your novel with more lush sentences? As a reader does it matter?

Since I’m getting geeked up for the The Hunger Games movie, I’m reading the first novel in the trilogy (again). This is a post from my 2009 archives when I first started blogging. I wanted to share this post again for all my new and current readers. I hope you find it helpful.

I mentioned layering moments in a scene on one of my writing listservs so I thought I would go into more detail in this post. To help me learn structure in novels, I’ve been analyzing some of my favorite books.

Right now, I’m analyzing The Hunger Games because it’s a great mix of a plot and character. This novel also incorporates the 3-act structure, which I love. The main thing I’ve learned is how author Suzanne Collins layers her moments. It’s fascinating when you break it down.

Here’s an example from a layered moment from Chapter 5.

Baseline:

“Sorry!” she pipes in her silly Capital accent. “You’re just so hairy!”

Venia makes what’s supposed to be a sympathetic face. “Good news, though. This is the last one. Ready?”

Baseline now layered with action:

R-i-i-i-p! I grit my teeth as Venia, a woman with aqua hair and gold tattoos above her eyes, yanks a string of fabric from my leg tearing out the hair beneath it. “Sorry!” she pipes in her silly Capital accent. “You’re just so hairy!”

Venia makes what’s supposed to be a sympathetic face. “Good news, though. This is the last one. Ready?” I get a grip on the edges of the table I’m seated on and nod. The final swathe of my leg hair is uprooted in a painful jerk.

Baseline now layered with action and protagonist thoughts:

R-i-i-i-p! I grit my teeth as Venia, a woman with aqua hair and gold tattoos above her eyes, yanks a string of fabric from my leg tearing out the hair beneath it. “Sorry!” she pipes in her silly Capital accent. “You’re just so hairy!”

Why do these people speak in such a high pitch? Why do their jaws barely open when they talk? Why do the ends of their sentences go up as if they’re asking a question? Odd vowels, clipped words, and always a hiss on the letter s…no wonder it’s impossible not to mimic them.

Venia makes what’s supposed to be a sympathetic face. “Good news, though. This is the last one. Ready?” I get a great on the edges of the table I’m seated on and nod. The final swathe of my leg hair is uprooted in a painful jerk.

This is just a simple example. With other moments, you could also break down layers including setting, background information, and/or flashback.

When you break a moment down like this, it really can help with your own writing—especially during revisions. If you find your scene is weak, you can go back and add layers to deepen moments. This is the beauty of layers.

You should try it with your own favorite novels and see if you can break down the moments into layers.

I know as writers we tend to fret about the current trends and what should be the focus of a story idea. But then sometimes I think we forget about the reader and what they want or better yet what they don’t like.

Since I’m primarily writing young-adult literature, I’m always interested to see what my intended readership likes and dislikes. I love reading reviews by teen readers as well. So when I was recently in my local public library and noticed they were having their monthly teen book club discussion, I decided to eavesdrop listen in on some of the conversation.

This list contains some of the issues I heard about about two books they read:

• Book started out slow and was too slow a lot of the time.





• Didn’t care about the characters.





• Dialogue wasn’t well written. Conversations seemed unrealistic. Sounded like my mother.





• Story would have been better told in first-person seeing it through the character’s eyes.





• Story didn’t flow very well. Storyline was confusing at times.





• Story dragged on toward the middle. Could have been quicker and straight to the point.





• Some parts of the story could have explained better to make the story more believable and detailed.





• Ending was rushed. Felt it wasn’t carefully thought out.

These readers had good things to say about the books they read as well but they were more vocal about what they didn’t like. What do you think about the list? Do you think the teens were on target about some of the problem areas of novels?

One of the things I always find amazing about musicians is that they take individual notes and make unique melodies. There are only so many notes and yet, new music is being made every day.

I guess we can say the same thing about writing right? There are only so many words — but unlike music, there are a lot of words that mean the same exact thing.

I remember in high school keeping a journal of “exotic” words. Words that when announced sounded like you were someone special. I remember thinking to myself that one day I would put all of these words in a story and readers would be so impressed by my intellect.

Ha. Right.

Fast forward a few years to my first novel critique at the SCBWI National Conference in LA. The agent who had reviewed my work said my manuscript pages were “stiff” with unnecessary and big words. I was confused. Duh. Wasn’t that the point? To fill up your novel with “impressive” words and turns of phrases?

I appreciated the comment though. The agent wrote at the top of my first page:

“Don’t let the words ruin the story. Go for the strongest and simplest word. You want your words to become invisible so that the reader can see the story unfold in his mind. Big unnecessary words cause readers to stumble and wake up from the dream.”

I still remember this advice and try to use it when I’m writing.

What about you writer friends? Do you think simple is better? Or does it depend upon the type of story you’re telling?

For my first three “drawer” novels, I wrote in 3rd person point of view (POV), but I then for the last two projects, I’ve written in 1st person POV.

However, it was always in past tense.

For this current project, I’ve played with using present tense with past revisions. My story has a lot of suspense and a few major action scenes so I’m thinking it may be more effective written in the present tense.

I’ve also noticed the last few YA novels that I’ve read have been in 1st person present tense as well. Especially if they contain a lot of suspense and/or action scenes. I’ve also noticed that it has a more immediate effect — almost like you’re watching a movie unfold. It makes me wonder if the story form is changing to this more dramatic form. At least in YA.

I may try it this summer. But it’s not as easy as just changing all of the verbs from past tense to present tense. It will take some tweaking.

So writer friends, what about you? Is your current novel project in past or present tense? Do you think present tense is the “new thing?” Or do you have a preference for past tense?