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One of the better excuses I've read for procrastinating as I try to finish my manuscript...Thanks! Oh, yeah, and that tension thing, that was useful too.

Janet, this post is EXACTLY why I have followed and love following your blogs. I have been feeling around for the best way to construct a climax, (much more innocuous than it sounds!), and BAM, read the post, mind worked for five seconds, muse tinkled in my ear and my ending tapped me on the shoulder. Thanks!!

Now that's good advice.

It's one of my disappointments when I read Moby Dick, strangely. All that build up, and then Ahab's death was two sentences (if I remember right).

I realize that it's strange to compare the two conversationally, and now my brain is trying to cast Moby Dick with the actors from Heat. Hmm.

Jennifer, we're going to need a bigger boat.

My guess is that this has to do with the withholding of resolution.

If the protagonist is in a deadly situation, you have this nagging itch of, "Will they survive? WILL THEY SURVIVE?!" If the tension is immediately released, then there is no chance for build up, no extended agony as you turn pages to see what happens next.

Tension is an extended stretching or straining. For it to be over in two sentences is less tension and more of a startling yank.

Chro, I like this description a lot:"Tension is an extended stretching or straining. For it to be over in two sentences is less tension and more of a startling yank."

[Of course, on my first read I thought you said yak, which was pretty hilarious but not quite as helpful.]

I remember the first time I watched Heat and actually feeling my heart race when the bullets started flying.

They did such an amazing job of building tension up to that point, avoiding any early confrontations to dilute it, and making everyone feel mortal and vulnerable.

And then, yes, it goes on and on without a moment of boredom.

Easily one of my favorite dramas.

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It's great when you get one of those 'Ah ha!' writing moments while doing something else. I had one of those epiphanies about character development once while watching an early episode of Breaking Bad.

I agree, up to a point. On the other hand, a good story can be ruined by dragging the tension out too long. Don't crank up the conflict and then drag it out; I'll burn out and quit. This is especially true if it's done with filler.

Back in 2005, Sandra Scoppettone talked about filler:
Did you know one is now told in their contract how many words you have to have? In this first draft I’m going to come up short so that I’ll have to make it up in the rewrite. This disturbs me because I never want to put in filler. I’ve spent my whole career learning how to write lean and mean. And I think I’ve accomplished that now. But if I have to get to the right word count by adding unnecessary words it will make me unhappy. This trend to get writers to make their books bigger is terrible, I think. When my agent was negotiating my contract she (at my request) got the publisher to come down in the count by 15 thousand words.

I don't know if contracting so many words (for novels) is still practiced, but I've encountered a number of books which read like they had been larded with filler. Most of them were good stories, too, in which the writer tripped up the tension and interrupted dialog with useless, maddening description.

Tension is why a violin string sings.

Tightened too little, it's out of tune. Tightened too much (like an abrupt plot ending)-- it breaks.

Excellent post. All your posts are excellent (suck up alert here) but this one really is good. Two of my favorite actors, too. I have to see the movie now.

Kitty, I agree with you but we're not talking about filler here. My first requirement is that every sentence develop character or move plot forward. Filler doesn't do that so out it goes.

And Elissa, I love that comparison.

This is what I'm talking about. I read this passage just this afternoon. It's from a book by a very successful writer whose books are made into movies.

*Mr. Detective* leaned forward now, joining in the circle, less of an outsider looking in. "As I see it - " his voice was hesitant and still so quiet that she struggled to make out the words - "*Dead Body 1* was the blackmailer. His blackmail victim was the killer. And *Dead Body 2* guessed what was going on."

What I deleted was filler, and redundant at that. It doesn't move the story forward. On the contrary; it kills momentum and drives me crazy. Here's the leaner version

*Mr. Detective* leaned forward and said, "As I see it, *Dead Body 1* was the blackmailer. His blackmail victim was the killer. And *Dead Body 2* guessed what was going on."

This has a lot to do with how novels and films (screenwriting) handle time -- very differently!

In a screenplay, one page equals ~one minute.

That translates to timing dictated by how long something takes to actually accomplish (Yes, there are tricks to play with time -- Zach Snyder's speed ramping, James Cameron's SLO-MO) -- but for the most part, time on screen is actual time (or at least close enough to it that we buy the reality).

In a novel, you can stop and write pages on the smell of gunpowder as the bullet that forever changed your life left the chamber. You can tease out the entire event, making audience actually beg for exposition. (I'm not saying you should -- just that you can).

In a screenplay, there's no way to emphasize that this is the bullet that changed your life, other than actually showing how it changed/changes your life--which is generally the contents of an entire film.

On the flipside, films can build big moments and emphasize these with visual spectacle. Novels have a different mechanic. They slow down time. Important scenes are generally a larger page count in a book than in a screenplay.

The slow "talky" scenes that are incredible in HEAT only happen after there has been some sort of setup prior to them. The scene in the diner between DeNiro and Pacino where they are both fishing for info is a great scene. But it's only because we (the audience) know what both characters are up to -- and get to see how they are misdirecting one another.

In a novel, a lot of that needed exposition can be filled in on the fly to up the tension and stakes. (Again, doesn't need to be, but the ability to do so is there).

You also can't gloss over action in a screenplay the way you can in a novel.

The war raged. Many died. The war ended.

The above may be a perfect way to succinctly summarize an entire era in a novel -- but there's no way to visually depict that in a film. It needs the bits and pieces (or at least 1 scene that somehow sums up the sentiment).

Manipulation of time and when/where information is revealed to characters/audience/readers is what creates suspense.

How each medium handles this is very different. A 5 minute scene could amount to 100 words. 5 pages in a novel is generally (250X5) 1250 words. They can literally be describing the same action, creating the same tension, but how they handle the page is very different.

This has a lot to do with how novels and films (screenwriting) handle time -- very differently!

In a screenplay, one page equals ~one minute.

That translates to timing dictated by how long something takes to actually accomplish (Yes, there are tricks to play with time -- Zach Snyder's speed ramping, James Cameron's SLO-MO) -- but for the most part, time on screen is actual time (or at least close enough to it that we buy the reality).

In a novel, you can stop and write pages on the smell of gunpowder as the bullet that forever changed your life left the chamber. You can tease out the entire event, making audience actually beg for exposition. (I'm not saying you should -- just that you can).

In a screenplay, there's no way to emphasize that this is the bullet that changed your life, other than actually showing how it changed/changes your life--which is generally the contents of an entire film.

On the flipside, films can build big moments and emphasize these with visual spectacle. Novels have a different mechanic. They slow down time. Important scenes are generally a larger page count in a book than in a screenplay.

The slow "talky" scenes that are incredible in HEAT only happen after there has been some sort of setup prior to them. The scene in the diner between DeNiro and Pacino where they are both fishing for info is a great scene. But it's only because we (the audience) know what both characters are up to -- and get to see how they are misdirecting one another.

In a novel, a lot of that needed exposition can be filled in on the fly to up the tension and stakes. (Again, doesn't need to be, but the ability to do so is there).

You also can't gloss over action in a screenplay the way you can in a novel.

The war raged. Many died. The war ended.

The above may be a perfect way to succinctly summarize an entire era in a novel -- but there's no way to visually depict that in a film. It needs the bits and pieces (or at least 1 scene that somehow sums up the sentiment).

Manipulation of time and when/where information is revealed to characters/audience/readers is what creates suspense.

How each medium handles this is very different. A 5 minute scene could amount to 100 words. 5 pages in a novel is generally (250X5) 1250 words. They can literally be describing the same action, creating the same tension, but how they handle the page is very different.

"One of the things I noted in a manuscript very recently was the author got to the climax of the novel and solved everything in two sentences"

So it was a "Star Trek: Next Generation" ending?

Heat is one of my favourite movies ever, specifically because of the pacing and the writing. The performances are top notch too, of course, but they're using the material as a springboard - without that great writing, you don't get the meat for the actors to chew on.

What particularly impresses me about this movie is that it TAKES ITS TIME. That happens so rarely these days. The first hour has some action beats, but it's mostly character development. We get to know Hanna and Macauley as human beings long before the bullets start flying. By the time they meet in the incredible coffee shop scene, we ACTUALLY CARE what happens to them.

They're both also great examples of protagonist/antagonist being two sides of the same coin. Ostensibly, Hanna is the hero and Macauley is the villain, but we're actually rooting for both. We want Macauley to get away with it. We want Hanna to catch him.

I paid a cheeky tribute to that coffee shop scene in my first novel, but instead of downtown LA, mine takes place in a toilet in Belfast.

Your post couldn't have come at a better time for me.

I've been told to write a suspense novel - i.e. something more commercial. I mostly read lit fiction, and so, I tend to write lit fiction. I'm learning as I go along. This post has made me realize I'm guilty of throwing my MC into a situation and then , scene ends. Plus, it revealed to me how I sometimes resolve a scene by having one of my other characters leave the room. (Probably b/c I personally don't like conflict and that's how I resolve things sometimes)

Because of this post, I'll be going back and looking at ways to extend some of these scenes.

Great post.

Here's my question, though.

The longer a scene goes in a movie - when things are moving past us literally at the speed of light - the more we're aching for a resolution to whatever conflict the scene encompasses, definitely.

But does the same necessarily hold true for prose fiction? At some point, I think the tension turns into "c'mon, get on with it already." We don't have any distractions - no music, no color, no sound effects, no acting - to pull us through and build the tension. Instead, it's just black word on white page, and another, and another.

Which isn't to say that you can't milk a scene, but I don't know that length alone is going to be your friend in creating tension - at some point I think it just runs the risk of deflating like a bad souffle.

Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, in their Pendergast series, do this perfectly at the end of Cabinet of Curiosities. By the time you get to the climactic end of the major action scene, you feel completely rung out. And the scene takes place over a series of chapters, all written in such a way that they ebb and flow which is why I think one feels the way they do by the end.

JD Paradise: if you don't understand how the concept is used in a novel, read Thomas Harris' SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. If you are not gasping for breath when Clarice Starling finally confronts Jame Gumb (who is based on a real serial killer) then you are not human. It's been awhile since I read it, but I remember lots of short sentences and extreme tension.

This makes me wish I lived in New York.

Do you have to currently be in college/be able to receive college credit?

If only I was 20 years younger and living in the New York City area again.

BW, I'd do it now, and I'm 42.

I'd like CLUES for $1000 please, Alex.

And the answer is: John B. Thompson

*works on cloning self*

Terri

Is this a paid internship or volunteer?

That's it. I'm moving to NYC right now... more than anything, I want to dust your whiskey collection.

Wait. It's gathering dust?!

:-)

Oh yeah, I do remember that particular query. Gives me shivers just reading it. Awesome that they used it for the back cover blurb.

Glad to hear you're a happy shark today, ma'am. :)

Congratulations to Josin. Amazing cover on what is sure to be an amazing book.

Merry Christmas, Janet.

That query was awesome. Should be a good one!

Fantastic cover and pitch perfect...well...pitch ;) I'm not usually a big YA fan, so I'm always doubly impressed when someone entices me to read their YA novel.

Congrats, Josin. When will it be released?

Wow. I'm blinded by the flash of brilliance.

I remember when Josin was playing around with that query on AW and it was so mindblowing to stumble across it. A fantastic example of how you can establish so much of the character, conflict, and setting with only a few words.

Awe :-)

Thanks, Janet. Didn't the book turn out wonderfully? I love the way they did the back copy.

(@Lanette -- it comes out Oct '13)

That sounds fantastic! Any release date info yet?

Congrats to Josin. I have crossed Josin's path it writers forums and each time has been wonderful. The writing drew me in, kudos.

That's great news - congrats, Josin!

Ah, this is awesome, I remember that query! Congrats all.

I remember it well! And I remember thinking, HOLY CATS THAT IS AMAZING.

That IS a great query. You (Janet) were spot-on in your comment about the pacing.

I follow and enjoy Josin's blog. I'm glad her big day is imminent.

GAH! ::thud:: I must read this book.

Um, *scuffs dirt* there hasn't been a flash fiction contest in a while.

Just sayin' *halo*

(Congrats Josin, this is made of win)

Terri

I remember that query! Awesome!

I believe this is the most memorable letter to ever appear on QueryShark, despite breaking all the rules, and most likely because it broke all the rules.

Oddly, I've recently seen this cover somewhere, and I remember thinking it looks pretty cool. Now that I know of its connection to that legendary QL, I too must own this book.

YESYESYESYESYESYES!

My cousin and I were hooked the first time we read the query.

Two copies mentally sold already.

When your query letter makes it onto the cover of the book, you know you're doing something right!

I was just thinking of this query letter and wondering what happened to the author. Premeditated is now on my to-read list!

I heard about that book. (Perhaps it was here? Maybe Twitter?) I had thought about getting my wife a copy for Christmas. I suppose there's still time...

I bought a copy of this for a friend and for my sister-in-law for Christmas, after seeing your original post on it. And then when I got the books, I nearly kept one for myself...

I see no reason why emails should be less-well-crafted than any other writing. Blog comments, too. I wouldn't want these poor little sentences to feel like the ugly stepsisters when compared with my "real" writing. Then again, maybe I'm too sentimental.

Mittens,
I completely agree with you. Your comment is probably the #1 reason I don't comment on posts very often.

Unless I've got something extrordinary to contribute, I'd rather let the more exerperienced crafters have at it.

Writing and crafting have the same number of syllables (two). But for the latter, I can't help imaging crafting spoken in a British accent, pompously stretching it into three syllables as only the British can.

I know intention is that one should really think about how words, punctuation, and syntax affect a sentence before putting it to paper. It makes me think of first draft vs. later drafts, the first gloriously mess where you do just throw stuff on the page. The later drafts are when you get into the "crafting". Without the mess, we wouldn't have books, only a few perfectly written sentences...or maybe just poetry.

Nice!

This is beautiful; true; well-said. Basically, there is a difference between vomiting words onto paper and actually creating art. Words can create emotion and stimulate imagination in any ol' form, but only a master can create wording that makes "magic"!

It's all practice. Every sentence I create is another chance to put together words in a beautiful way. It's wasteful not to pay attention to words. My words represent me, especially when they are thrown out in to the netherland of texts, post comments, and e-mails. Always crafting, never writing.

Every sentence has the potential to blossom into beauty, fear, love, hope, inspiration, challenge, etc in someone else's mind, and therein lies the art. It's part of why I love tweeting - great practice in conveying thoughts in a short, meaningful way.

And, I love what Laura said about no sentences being ugly stepsisters. What a fabulous example of beautiful, descriptive writing. ;-))

So true! And what a beautifully crafted way to say it. There's something enormously satisfying about putting together a sentence and/or paragraph that can only be described as "art".

I love the feel of this, Jennifer! The winter fun, the cooperative aspect, the clothing, the bunnies watching--lovely!

Thank you, Leslie! I'm having a lot of fun with this book. :-)

Even better is when they offer to sell you part of their stash of grenades conveniently sitting in their pick-up.

OMG! That is great! I have "paramilitary" in my query letter and I just took it out last night because I thought it was a little over the top.

That's it. I'm putting it back in.

:-)

This has Sean Ferrell written all over it...

Valeriebrbr, this one isn't Sean. We don't actually have a WalMart here in NYC, and Sean isn't allowed to leave the city after that incident with Jeff Somers, Dan Krokos and Snooki, down at the Jersey Shore.

Now I'm hoping Smyrna, GA doesn't have a Wal-Mart. Sean's not bringing Snooki, is he?

See, I'd rather clear the checkout lines by stage-whispering "They're giving out free cupcakes in the bakery? You're kidding!"

Valerie, I'm pretty sure I'm coming to Smyrna solo. No hand grenades either. I'm soooo boring!

Ever been to the Walmart in Wasilla? I'll send pictures.

The tone seems to be Jeff Somers . . . is he allowed out of New York? Would he leave if he could?

Oh how I love this! HILARIOUS!!! You just made my day.

I have a friend who researched bank robbers for a story and went into her local bank and asked a young high school teller "What would you do if I told you to give me the money and no one gets hurt?" The teller literally screamed "HELP" then handed her a pen. My friend tried to calm her down, explained everything, then asked calmly "Why on earth did you hand me a pen?" the girl replied "You didn't have a note. I thought robbers always handed a note." She was going to help my friend right her note..after she screamed of course!

Crazy things writers endure... ;o)

Visit My Kingdom Anytime!

I hate it when Real Life trumps the imagination.

Ha! Wow, that is hilariously genius. I'll have to try that sometime...

Sarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)

That's hilarious. I'm hoping in my heart it actually happened.

Since I won't be getting on a plane I could try to procure some grenades before you come down. It could really add impact to your Murder GS speech. Not to mention amping up your street cred.

Now I'm kind of wishing I actually knew how to do that... I'm so boring too. Although my husband did make a potato gun so- that could be exciting.

Valeriebrbr- I will give you a grand tour of all the Walmarts you like when you get here. Just don't yell crazy stuff- I don't own body armor.

Hmm. Believed to be Sean Ferrel or Jeff Somers. I'm thinking whoever did say it should be very flattered. Or very frightened. Or both. *G*

It still blows my mind that there's no Walmart in New York. Where do you go to buy socks, broccoli, peanut butter cups and beer?

Oddly, this makes me feel better about some of the crazy things I have been researching!

That made me laugh! LOL

Loretta Ross - It is only the city and the outer boroughs that don't have Walmart. We get them at the local stores and from what I've seen from the Long Island Walmart, the prices aren't that different. I cannot understand why Walmart is considered so cheap when the prices at the local stores and the prices there are almost the same. I just don't get it. A quarter here and there don't make much of a difference, I don't think.

Hahaha! Makes me feel better about almost burning the house down on Saturday. (I did too! How was I supposed to know that burning photos generated so much heat?) :O

Once again I am duly grateful to live in Phoenix.

But our summers make up for the nice, mild winters.

That made me laugh. I think it's going to be a nith day after all...

snicker.

Janet,

You're turning some heads with your post on yesterday. Galleycat mentioned your 'just shut the fuck up already' comment; they even bolded and underlined your name. Guess you think you're hot stuff now? :) Wonders what the assssisant thinks....

http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/mailbag/we_want_no_part_of_your_death_culture_103613.asp

Hi Janet,

As an aspiring author, I wondered what you made of the proposed 'steep discount' approach being espoused by Harper on GalleyCat.

Thing is, I know that quite a few first time authors get an advance that barely buys a tin of dog food.

Does this new approach mean that debut authors are now more likely to receive advances that would barely stretch to a pack of chewing gum?

Your insight would be appreciated.

Many Thanks

Ouch! My tongue aches in sympathy (and in remembrance of a certain flagpole on a very cold morning...)

That is classic.

That's one more author who won't be reading their own work for the audio book.

Janet -

Beverage warning!!

I'm just sayin'

I'm up to my eyes in mid-terms, but popped over to read her blog anyway. What a lovely, gracious recounting! She reminds me of Audrey Hepburn.

Ah, this was great. It makes me look forward to Surrey even more.

What amazes me is that publishing professionals are so enamored of authors. I know that sounds stupid, but it surprises me.

Ha! You really ARE a softy!

Thank you for directing me to this. I wasn't able to attend Bouchercon, and I'm not sure we can afford Indy either, but reading posts like Kaye's, and Louise Ure's at murderati, and the many many others has convinced me to try. I feel like I was there, but I don't have any of the great swag and panel-sitting experiences to remember it. UGH!

I was at Bouchercon, and although I didn't officially meet Kaye, I was certainly aware of her. Her enthusiasm was and is infectious. And as a Southern girl who lost her accent in college, I found hers beyond charming.

This was my first Bouchercon, too, and I'm putting next year's in Indianapolis on my calendar.

someone has just told me about this little blog entry - I don't know how I missed it on my own.

Janet - you are a sweetie. Anyone out there who has ever met you, will scale mountains for you and love telling about it. Add me to the list.

Now whoever this is saying I remind them of Audrey Hepburn?! Honey - WHAT a dear you are! You must have had a cocktail one too many, but I love you to pieces.

See all of you in Indy? Janet - let's leave the hotel for a minute or two and shop, O.K.?!!