Take out the Trash: Ugh. The dumpsters are stinky and you’re busy. Pawn that chore off on a young, gullible sibling.
Mom: Sweety, would you please take out the trash for Mommy?
You: Aw, man, I’m watching cartoons!
Mom: You can do it during the commercial break.
You: fine…. (sneak over to sister’s room) Hey, sis, Mom says you have to take out the trash.
Make sure they do a good job, or you’ll get blamed when this happens…
Unload the Dishwasher: Tedious. Why not just leave them in the washer where they are easier to grab? Pay a sibling imaginary money to do it for you.
You: Hey, Johnny, I’ll pay you 14 Mega-Bucks to unload the dishwasher.
Johnny: What’s a Mega-Buck?
You: You don’t know what a Mega-Buck is? Man, you are a baby. Mega-Buck’s are for older, cool kids.
Johnny: I’m not a baby. What’s a Mega-Buck for?
You: Everything, rocket ship rides, candy, pet dragons…
Johnny: OK, I’ll do it!
(Later when Johnny asks to redeem his Mega-Bucks, tell him Dragon Eggs cost 18,000,000 Mega-Bucks)
Sweep/Vacuum the Floor: Why should you clean the floor? It’s not like you have to eat off it! Make sure to get the big noticeable stuff, but leave the rest. If Mom doesn’t notice, great. If she does notice, doing this enough may convince her that you are terrible at it and she won’t ask you again.
WARNING! The DO-THINGS-SO-BAD-THEY-STOP-ASKING strategy is a gamble that may result in you having to do it over.
Clean Your Room: It’s your room, you should get to keep it how you like it, Messy.
First, insist that you have a system and know precicely where everything is and cleaning would result in you never finding your homework and thus failing Math and never getting into college. If that doesn’t work, make your bed and shove everything on the floor into your closet/hamper. If possible, block the closet with a fragile and extremely awkward school diorama or heavy dresser to prevent Mom from discovering its contents.
Mow the Lawn: It’s hot out and it just grows back. Luckily for you, the boys at MJM Books have possibly THE most experience in shirking this particular task.
Strategy One: Hide the Gas/Break the Mower.
Strategy Two: Stall. Promise to do it tomorrow because the weatherman says it will be cooler. Say you twisted your ankle. Anything. The goal is to let the lawn get so bad that it becomes a lost cause and a family’s secret shame like so…
Strategy Three: Employ dishwashing or trash disposing strategies on different, unsuspecting siblings (hopefully, you have a large family).
…sigh…
Final Option: Do it, but raise the wheels up high and leave the bag off.
You’re welcome. We’re here to help.
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absolutely...in fact I have an image in my mind that I want to create and it was inspired by the shadow I saw cast on my bedroom ceiling one night when I couldn't sleep....what you've created here is so much fun and full of delight :)
Oh my goodness.... yes! and those are the ones I have the most fun with!
Wonderful! What a magical feeling this image has.
I think that hypnotic movement would make me sleep better!