This week in..........
TYRA MAIL! Screeeeeammmm!!!!!!!
Yes, it has finally happened. Tyra Banks. Novelist. The model/talk show host/judge-of-fierceness has smized her way to a book deal for a YA novel called "Modelland," involving a land populated by "Intoxibellas," who are, of course, hot and fierce and will cry dramatically if you ask them about the challenges they had to overcome to become a top model (I made that last part up). Are you couture enough to read this book or are you just catalog?
Meanwhile, a commenter at Gawker took a stab at the first chapter, and the results. were. AMAZING. An excerpt: "When Mr. and Mrs. Catalog woke up on the dull, Covergirlless gray but not smokey-eyed Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the bland sky outside to suggest that fashionable or artistic things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr. Catalog hummed as he picked out the most boring pose for his photoshoot, and Mrs. Dursley talked smack happily as she wrestled a screaming Dreckley into her high chair... None of them noticed the large, tawny TyraMail flash across the window."
Whoever wrote that: PLEASE QUERY ME. PLEASE. IMMEDIATELY.
Believe it or not there was other news this week. I know!! I was surprised too.
More e-reader news afoot as Borders will be selling the e-ink Kobo e-reader for the cheaper-than-Kindle price of $149.99 starting in June. And in tablet news, Google is apparently teaming up with Verizon to create a tablet device amid news that a whopping 28% of Americans expect to buy an e-reader or tablet in the next year, and 49% within three years (via PubLunch).
All of which leads Mike Shatzkin to observe that e-book growth has been somewhat incremental things over the last few years and things have been changing gradually. Get ready for suddenly. (I love that the last few years were the gradual part. Hold on tight, everyone!!!)
The Guardian surveyed the landscape of international book covers, noting that unlike movie posters, book covers vary wildly from country to country. (via The Book Bench)
Stephen Parrish sent me two great links: an article from Newsweek about Herman Wouk, still writing at age 95! And I missed this one a few weeks ago, but the NY Times has published their seven millionth article about self-publishing.
Lots of great agent blog posts this week! Mary Kole is decamping for Brooklyn, Rachelle Gardner has a great post on the secrets of of a great pitch, Kate Schafer Testerman asks
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Nathan Bransford is the author of JACOB WONDERBAR AND THE COSMIC SPACE KAPOW, a middle grade novel about three kids who blast off into space, break the universe, and have to find their way back home, which will be published by Dial Books for Young Readers in May 2011. He was formerly a literary agent with Curtis Brown Ltd., but is now a publishing civilian working in the tech industry. He lives in San Francisco.
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It goes without saying that people hate writing queries. Loathe! Abhor! Hiss! Some authors feel it is simply beneath their dignity to have to distill the wondrous complexity of their novel to a brief excerpt.
But as has been chronicled in the past on this blog: authors have to summarize their work. Often. Repeatedly. In a wildly diverse array of settings. So much that you start to hate your own book. Okay, not that much. But close!
Summarizing your work is part of the job description of being an author. You signed up for it the minute you typed "Chapter 1." (And yes, literary fiction types, you don't get to sail through on "oh man it's so complicated but it's really all about the writing". You have to pitch too!). Whether it's pitching a project to an editor, for film, in interviews, in everyday conversation: you'll basically spend about as much time summarizing and talking about your work as you did writing it.
And yet different situations call for different length of pitches. A query is basically a two paragraph pitch with some query-related detail. But sometimes you'll want to use a one sentence pitch (for a bio, if you're into that whole brevity thing), or a one paragraph pitch (for briefly describing in real life conversation when you don't want someone's eyes to glaze over).
My feeling: get it all out of the way at once. Save yourself the headache and come up with a one sentence, one paragraph, and two paragraph pitch before you even start to query. Then: practice and memorize your pitches. You never know when you're going to need them.
I personally think the best way of going about this is to start with the one sentence pitch: not only is it the hardest to write, it contains the essence of your book. It's the most crucial arc of your story, with all the other details stripped away - even, sometimes, character names. It can be painful to whittle it down (I don't even mention the key villain in mine), but utterly, utterly necessary.
You then build around that one sentence pitch and flesh it out with some key details in the one paragraph pitch - maybe the character names, or the most important subplot, or a few quick images that give a sense of the sensibility of your work.
With the two paragraph you have more flexibility to add still more details and can make it a bit more of a story itself.
I did this for JACOB WONDERBAR. Here are my pitches (which I have to use very very often):
One sentence: Three kids trade a corndog for a spaceship, blast off into space, accidentally break the universe, and have to find their way back home.
One paragraph: Jacob Wonderbar trades a corndog for a sassy spaceship and blasts off into space with his best friends, Sarah and Dexter. After they accidentally break the universe in a giant space kapow, a nefarious space pirate named Mick Cracken maroons Jacob and Dexter on a tiny planet that smells like burp breath. They have to work together to make it back to their street on Earth where all the houses look the same.
Two paragraph: Jacob Wonderbar has been the bane of every substitute teacher at Magellan Middle School ever since his dad moved away from home. He never would have survived without his best friend Dexter, even if he is a little timid, and his cute-but-tough friend Sarah Daisy, who is chronically oversc
Someone once told me when I try to write the elevator pitch, pretend I'm at a dinner party describing a movie I'd like to see to the group. It helped tremendously. As did this post. As always.
Ooh, fun. For my plot-driven near-future thriller, SECTOR C:
Sentence
Cloning Ice Age mammoths and saber-tooth cats for canned hunts seems like a good business venture -- until it reintroduces the species-jumping pandemic that wiped out the megabeasts 8,000 years ago.
Paragraph
Triple E Enterprises offers clients the chance to hunt once-extinct animals on the plains of North Dakota. When people and livestock in the area start dying, CDC investigator Mike Shafer and veterinarian Donna Bailey team to find out why. Their search for Patient Zero leads to the Triple E geneticists who have developed a possible cure they intend to sell to foreign interests. To prevent the potentially life-saving research from going offshore, Mike and Donna must face down Triple E's hostile attempts to stop them, a raging wildfire set by arsonists, and a group of panicked megabeasts.
Two paragraphs
Triple E Enterprises offers clients a chance to hunt exotic wildlife on the plains of North Dakota -- including the elite package in Sector C: exclusive specimens from the Pleistocene. When people and livestock in the area start dying at an alarming rate, CDC investigator Mike Shafer teams with veterinarian Donna Bailey to find out why. Their search for Patient Zero leads to the Triple E compound where they discover the company is about to capitalize on the pandemic it unleashed by selling a possible cure to a Sino-Pakistani pharmaceutical that doesn't have U.S. interests at heart.
To prevent the potentially life-saving research from going offshore, Mike and Donna must face down Triple E's hostile attempts to stop them, a raging wildfire set by arsonists, and a group of panicked megabeasts inadvertently released from Sector C. But even if they do succeed, it may already be too late.
OK - one hour (and a year, or so) later:
Jess strays the wrong side of stalker status, realises the boy she obsesses over belongs to a non-genotypical subspecies and decides, when it comes to love, differences don't matter.
Okay...deep breath...here goes...:
ONE SENTENCE:
When the Norse god world collides with a Montana cowboy community, four teens discover that more than just the fate of Yellowstone National Park is at stake.
ONE PARAGRAPH:
When twins Iven and Olivia Taylor show up at Mia Holden’s Montana high school near Yellowstone National Park, they set loose the turbulent world of Norse mythology -- a place where gods reign, giants destroy, best friends lie, and worlds end. Oh, and where love between humans and gods is forbidden. Which is a problem. Especially when Mia discovers what her best friend has known his entire life.
TWO PARAGRAPHS:
When twins Iven and Olivia Taylor move to Mia Holden’s Montana cowboy community, not only is the turbulent world of Norse mythology set loose, but Iven and Mia are thrown into a relationship hindered by murderous Frost Giants, jealous Norse gods, and, perhaps scariest of all, High School.
As the end of the Norse god world looms and Frost Giants threaten to destroy Yellowstone National Park, Iven and Mia find that risking their lives is nothing compared to risking their hearts in a place where love between humans and gods is forbidden. Especially as Mia discovers what her best friend, Tait, has known his entire life.
MY FAVORITE (BUT PROBABLY NOT THE BEST) ONE SENTENCE:
Mia’s prince is really a Norse god, and the end of the world is ruining her happily ever after.
****
I'd love to hear any thoughts on these. Thanks!
What a great post, Nathan. Thanks! You give us all courage.
Here's my stab at the one-sentence spiel...
An extraordinary girl is thrown into a maze of conspiracies when a dark angel believes she's the key to launch the end of days; to survive, she must put her trust in the 1500 year old knight who has haunted her dreams for years.
OK, so it's really two sentences strung together. I cheated - just a little. :)
Ok I know you made a comment just for me yesterday. My email says it's 4 minutes old but I swear, I popped over here as soon as I saw it. 79 people beat me to it - sigh
I'm terribly confused about how to craft these pitches for memoir. Do I use my name as if it were a character name, write it in the first person, acknowledge the genre in the single sentence version?
I've finally just taken to saying simply "it's an Appalachian family saga . . ." and if the person who asked "what's your book about" wants more or prompts me for more, then I tell them a little bit more . . . but sometimes really they don't want to know what the book is about, but are just being polite, or sometimes they are really asking "should I buy your book?"
If they are just being polite, the "appalachian family saga" is enough - if they are really asking "should I buy your book" then they'll want more.
Of course, this wouldn't apply to "pitches" but only to general conversations.
It took me a long time to recognize that a little bit goes a long way, that long stuttering explanations of books bores the snot out of me and they bore the snot out of everyone else. :)
I really enjoy your blog.
This is such a good idea because my book (Sisters on the Fly) comes out next week and I'm finding that most radio and TV producers want a short (paragraph or two) pitch. Nothing long. Nothing elaborate. I dusted off my elevator pitch, added a little and there it is. Useful information. Thank you, Nathan.
Behind Closed Doors (which despite billing itself as literary fiction has a plot)
One Sentence: Everyone thinks they know exactly why Isaac Smith was murdered, but they're all wrong.
One Paragraph: Everyone knew Isaac Smith had it coming to him, but why did he die in such a pedestrian way? He'd gained notoriety for publishing the secrets of the Mormon temple ceremony, dwelling in particular on the gruesome ritual suicide promised by anyone who revealed those secrets. So why the boring bullet-ridden body? Does it have anything to do with his insistence that the real secret of the temple is that there is no secret, that nothing interesting actually happens there? Then why kill him?
Added 2nd Paragraph: In this love triangle disguised as a murder mystery, his best friend Cannon tries to explain why. He also thinks he know why Isaac was killed, but as he explains the story to us, he realizes that he is wrong: journeying through Cannon and Isaac's time as missionary companions, their years at Brigham Young, Isaac's childhood dealing with an absent father who'd been a Mormon bishop before running off with one of his counselors, Faye's grief over her dead brother, and Cannon's inability to fully leave the church he doesn't love, we learn that Isaac's death was the result of totally different forces.
Thanks for doing this, Nathan. I head to Crested Butte next month and need the practice. This is one of the more succinct descriptions I've found. Here's my first and second pitches:
1. Liu Jie fears for his wife and child after the Emperor calls him to civil war; must he sacrifice his family’s safety for his Empire's survival?
2. MOURN THEIR COURAGE is a historical fantasy set in the Rōn Empire, where ghosts are guides and heroes are traitors. When Liu Jie receives his Emperor’s call to war, he must respond, though all he desires is a safe life with his wife and child. Jie endangers himself and his family as he battles to protect the Empire. When enemies and bitter loss overwhelm him, he faces a terrible choice: must he sacrifice his family for his Empire's survival?
Now off to read some samples and find ways to improve. ;D
Are you a CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS fan? The tone here for JACOB WONDERBRA seems like it'll appeal to those kiddos.
Alright, have never done this, but here's my first attempt of a one sentence summary of my WIP:
When Emperor Justinian declares war on Italy in the 6th century, the young Gothic noble Teja learns the hard way that his dream of a future where Goths and Romans coexist in peace is in jeopardy.
This is really helpful! I love the idea of memorizing pitches, because I write much more fluidly than I speak.
Also, I get nervous, so having something memorized is a great idea.
I like your paragraphs, Nathan. Can't wait for Jacob to come out.
So, in terms of the query - for the record, I don't mind writing queries. They're kind of fun to critique, too. My issues with the query stem from other sources. But I'm still taking the 'best to tread lightly here' approach, so I won't pontificate. It's a great sacrifice. I like to pontificate even more than writing queries.
This really is a very helpful post, well-organized thinking. Thanks!
FIREWORKS FLOWERS
One Sentence: A coffee house manager who aspires to write discovers he’s in love with one of his regulars…half an hour before the scheduled start of her wedding.
One Paragraph: Aidan is ringmaster of chaos (Manager) at a low-priority franchise of Run Aground, a national chain of coffee houses. Between no-show employees and customers from Hell the only bright spot in his life is Emily- shy, sweet Emily who carries a copy of Hitchhiker's in her purse, takes an interest in his stories, and dances in her seat to one secret, specific song on her iPod when she doesn't think anyone is looking. Emily is absolutely perfect...with the exception of the fact that she is marrying the human equivalent of a wolf in sheep’s clothing in less than thirty minutes unless Aidan can find a way to stop her.
Two Paragraphs: Run Aground manager Aidan Flynn's day couldn't possibly get any worse. The fax machine is jammed again, his baristas seem to have lost the last of their tenuous grip on reality and everything in the world feels wrong. His life's gone to Hell for only one reason and it's entirely his own fault; his favorite regular is getting married today because he didn’t have the guts to say the only thing that might stop her.
Following a fateful conversation with a Salvation Army bell-ringer, Aidan realizes he has no alternative; he has to find a way into the fabled Halsey estate and crash the society wedding of the year. If he doesn’t speak now he’ll never be able to face himself tomorrow. Painfully aware of all he has to lose, he wonders how he’ll ever convince the girl who believes she’s nothing special that she deserves so much more than to live out her life in the withering darkness of another woman's shadow.
One sentence:
BASTARD HUSBAND: A LOVE STORY is a humorous account of my first year alone in Las Vegas following a midlife divorce from someone who I thought was my soulmate (until his thirteenth beer) and how I came to perform stand-up comedy for the first time at age 46.
One paragraph:
BASTARD HUSBAND: A LOVE STORY is a humorous account of my first year alone in Las Vegas after a midlife divorce from someone who was the perfect soulmate--until that one drink too many. The book is threaded with reflections of the relationship and shows how I transitioned from anger and sadness to performing stand-up comedy for the first time at age 46. Funny and sad, demented and poignant... all at the same time.
Two paragraphs (okay, it’s really three)
A week after I arrived in Sin City, I attended a divorce support group I found in the local newspaper listed between Cross-Dressers of Las Vegas and Friends and Family of Incarcerated People. (And I thought I had problems.) As I sat among a circle of strangers waiting for my turn to share, I glanced at the Absolutely No Swearing sign hanging from the ceiling and thought, “This will be a challenge.”
“I’m Linda,” I began, “I have no husband, no job, and you people are my only friends.” Everyone laughed at my pathetic truth.
BASTARD HUSBAND: A LOVE STORY is an autobiographical account of my first year alone in Las Vegas following a midlife divorce. Balancing poignancy and edgy humor, I reflect on the troubled relationship that prompted this story and lead readers through a hodgepodge of emotions as vast as a Vegas buffet--from the sadness of a failed union and the questioning of my spiritual convictions to the thrill of exploring the Vegas neon nightlife and the triumph of performing stand-up comedy for the first time at age 46.
Hi Nathan,
Here goes:
In 1950, a farm wife walks into a vast Wisconsin cornfield and has a spiritual vision that sparks a pilgrimage of 100,000 - against the wishes of the Catholic Church.
Terrific post!
- Jennifer Swan
Here's what I came up with, although I'm not sure I could easily spit out the two paragraph pitch...
One sentence: Three kids from California go on a backpacking trip in the mountains and end up on a quest with Merlin’s daughter.
One paragraph: Jess is on a backpacking trip in California when she is literally blown away. She wakes up next to her sister Piper and a teenage boy named Will. They’re surrounded by standing stones, but Jess is pretty sure they’re not in England when they’re attacked by reptilian wolves. Searching for help, they stumble on Moonstone Castle and find themselves on a quest with Merlin’s daughter.
Two paragraphs: Twelve-year old Jess has heard of Merlin, but she’d rather read about horses than King Arthur. If you told her she was about be torn away from a backpacking trip in California and flung into the aftermath of a spell cast by Merlin’s son, she’d look at you like you were crazy. If you said she’d be stuck on this adventure with her little sister and a teenage boy, you’d see the biggest eye-roll of your life. The part about getting lost in a strange land where she’d have to fight wolves, giant bats and maybe even a dragon would get her attention though
From a granite slab where she’s hanging out with her sister, Jess is literally blown away. She wakes up next to her sister Piper and a kid named Will, who joined them just before they vanished. They’re surrounded by standing stones, but Jess is pretty sure they’re not in England when they’re attacked by reptilian wolves. Searching for help, they stumble on Moonstone Castle, befriend Merlin’s daughter Sela, and discover a society where girls rule, boys serve, and everyone bonds with a horse. Jess gets the horse the teen queen covets and she and her friends are exiled to the mountains, where Sela leads them on a quest to find a magic stone.
By the way, Isn't it hard to say "sassy" with a straight face?
Do not stop writing novel to come up with 1 sentence pitch just so you can participate in cool pitch-sharing blog post.
Don't. Don't do it! Finish novel first!
My one sentence:
At four ft. nine (when he stretches), 86 pounds (at the end of the day and soaking wet), but armed with a quick wit, 15-year-old Bixby Darwin isn't your typical hero, but then Cypher, Indiana isn't your typical town.
I've been working on this! It's not 100% but I'm getting there.
When Daisy, a snarky, multi-pierced, California-bred college student finds the East Coast, starched and pressed father, step-mother-from-vegetarian-hell and preppie younger brother who don’t even know Daisy exists, she must choose between the life she knows and the one she thinks she always wanted.
Hi everyone,
Apologies if my response is late. I've just finished taking my finals today.
I have pitched to editors in person and all have been very professional and gracious.
Now that I have a completed YA novel and have pitched face-to-face and online, I figure I can pitch anywhere. I try to remember the KISS rule: Keep it simple stupid.
Not sure if I pulled it off, but here's mine for a 12k historical paranormal romance:
For my historical paranormal romance, A Cursed Heart.
One sentence:
Can a Druidess and a cursed wolf-shifting warrior find true love?
One Paragraph:
Tani's visions of a warrior haunt her. The last one differs from the rest by engaging all of her senses. The gods have chosen her to find the warrior and heal him of his curse. Evil abounds in the village and Tani is the target.
Two Paragraph:
Tani is one of the few mortals chosen to undertake a dangerous journey given the Celtic gods. Before she embarks on this mission, she must escape two women in the village who want her dead. Tani enters the sacred grove
and her life is threatened their most holy place.
Finally, Tani begins her task set by the gods and sails for Manannan's Isle.
The meeting with Owein, the warrior of her dreams doesn't go as planned. Owein's brother wants him dead and Tani can't break, Cernunnos, The Lord of the Animals, curse on Owein.
Best,
Tambra Kendall/Keelia Greer
Thanks for the help Nathan. This is my one-liner, and so on. I would appreciate any opinions.
One-Liner: Teens experience the right-of-passage where the perfect vacation begins with romance when one teen uncovers a world of secrets, two-hundred-year-old legends, botched lab experiments, a sinister tycoon, vampires and weresharks all thriving on an island in Hawaii.
One-Paragraph: Tommie Lanier uncovers secrets while vacationing with her brother and friends. Her adventurous nature sends her spiraling into her geneticist brother’s world on the island of Maui where his top-secret discovery of immortality brings her face to face with love and danger. As she stumbles deeper into the mythical world, she finds her choices are leading her in a direction she is not ready for. Will Tommie find her way back home?
Two Paragraph: After high school graduation, Tommie Lanier, her twin brother, and their friends celebrate by vacationing in Maui with their elder brother, Adam, who is immersed in top-secret research. Because of her sleuthing nature,her troubles begin the first day she steps foot on the island with sightings of strange animals and unique gardens.
While there Tommie has her first encounter with romance, only to find he is the result of Adam’s successful experiments. The mythological stories that have been told for centuries come to life before her eyes as the legendary creatures and spirits of Hawaii wreak havoc in order to protect the islanders from the unnatural blunders that are now loose on Maui. Tommie finds she is immersed in a life she can’t seem to find a way out of, and the only thing that makes sense to her is the demi-god she is now in love with.
Nathan you're really good at this. Do you want to write mine?
One sentence: Jeremiah's life is changed because of a prophecy, but it isn't about him.
One paragraph: Jeremiah is born a peasant into a medieval world with a strict caste system. A misdirected prophecy gives him the chance to train as a scribe for the king. It alters his life and puts him the hands of Darrah, a magician who compels him to risk his life to find scrolls that will make her spells permanent while all other magic remains temporary. He has to obey or find a way to overcome her control.
Two paragraph: Jeremiah is born a peasant into a medieval world with a strict caste system. A misdirected prophecy gives him the chance to train as a scribe for the king. It alters his life and puts him the hands of Darrah, a magician who who compels him to risk his life to find scrolls that will make her spells permanent while all other magic remains temporary.
Luckily, Jeremiah has three friends to help him, but they have their own agendas. One needs a favor that could kill Jeremiah. The second will betray him to the king. The third leaves when love starts to blossom between them. To save his own life, Jeremiah must get the scrolls or break free of Darrah's power. Either way he has to succeed before the Headmaster finds a way to have Jeremiah thrown out of the scribe guild.
Nathan, thanks for the ooportunity to let us post this.
Vultura Highway: 80,000 word crime thriller.
When the DreemWeever headset L.A psychologist Joel Fisher has developed for wealthy Russian investors is stolen by two adventurous stones, he has forty-eight hours to get it back or he dies.
#
When wealthy Russian investors contract L.A psychologist Joel Fischer to develop a device to manipulate minds, the DreemWeever exceeds all expectations. Everything is on track for delivery and a big payday, until two adventurous stoners steal his Dodge Challenger that, unknown to Paul and Luke, contains the DreemWeever in its trunk. Fischer must get it back or face the barbaric consequences of the investors, evidence that ties him to multiple homicides, and most importantly to Fisher, the loss of his own big time Hollywood dreams.
#
L.A. psychologist Joel Fischer has powerful connections, a closet full of skeletons, and a plan that will make him richer than any of his elite clientele. When wealthy investors contract Fischer to develop a device to manipulate minds, the DreemWeever exceeds all expectations. In trials, it causes two women to voluntarily dive forty stories to their death at the Marriott in Times Square.
Everything is on track for delivery and a big payday for Fischer, until two adventurous stoners steal his Dodge Challenger that, unknown to Paul and Luke, contains the DreemWeever in its trunk. Fischer must get it back or face the barbaric consequences of the investors, who've turned out to be more ominous than he expected, evidence that ties him to multiple homicides, and most importantly to Fisher, the loss of his own big time Hollywood dreams.
Here's a one-sentence and a one-paragraph pitch for RUDY TOOT-TOOT:
A little boy who was born on a bean farm can fart with hurricane force, and he needs to find the right time and the right place to use his talent to save his family’s home.
Rudy Toot-Toot has a special power, almost like a super-hero: he can fart. It comes natural when you’re born on a bean farm. The problem is that Rudy can’t control the timing or the force behind his special gift. It gets him into a lot of trouble at home and school, and after one monstrous blast scares all the Beanheads away from the Toot-Toot Bean Market, it’s up to Rudy to find a way to lure the customers back, or the bank will take away their home.
I'll have a go at it.
Sentence:
High schooler-turned-elf savior Aynah can’t escape her worst enemy—not even by trusting her friends.
One-Paragraph:
High schooler-turned-elf savior Aynah thought that when she left Earth to come back to her native magic world, Ví, her rescuer, would stay with her through thick and thin. Being captured by the man they fled from definitely makes complications, but when they escape, Aynah thinks that is the end of him. When she announces she wants to go back home, she finds he’s back—and he’s brought back by Ví.
Two-Paragraph:
Aynah thinks she’s just your normal high school freshman—maybe just a bit on the short side. But strange guys move into her neighborhood, and she escapes with Ví, the new student, to a world that happens to be her native magical home.
They’re caught by the king that they fled from, and when they escape, Aynah thinks that’s the end of that, even though she’s supposed to be the savior of the magic world. She wants to go back home, but then the king reappears, brought by her best friend, Ví.
Critique?
Great post, Nathan, and I decided to take you up on your challenge to put the various pitches in the comments.
1-Sentence
Janelle Marie LeDuc and Richard Oliver Grayson begin an unusual courtship that led to marriage, but the journey is anything but easy, with time travel, 'old friends,' and, on their wedding trip, a near-kidnapping, amnesia and more, all conspiring to keep them apart.
1-Paragraph
Janelle Marie LeDuc’s father dies of injuries sustained in a lumbering accident, leaving her a well-to-do New Hampshire farm owner in the 1830s. Janelle and Richard Oliver Grayson' begin an unusual courtship that led to marriage a year later. She discovers that her maternal ancestors have unique powers, including time travel. They arrive in 12th-century England where they visit Richard’s ancestors. A return trip devastates Richard – something about his birthright upset him greatly. At their wedding, an 'old friend' tries to prevent the wedding. On their wedding trip, Janelle is nearly kidnapped by a madman, and later, Richard is mugged, resulting in amnesia and an infidelity. Richard is sent into exile, banned from seeing Janelle until after their son’s birth. While they love each other very much, will Richard and Janelle be together, or will their differences and circumstances be more than the relationship can take?
2-Paragraph
Janelle Marie LeDuc’s father dies of injuries sustained in a lumbering accident, leaving her a well-to-do New Hampshire farm owner in the 1830s. As he lay dying, he urges her to find a husband for her own protection. She is devastated by his death, and grieves for months. Richard Oliver Grayson, the youngest son of the English Duke of Devonwood, finds Janelle by her father’s grave and takes her home. Thus began an unusual courtship that led to marriage a year later. She discovers that her maternal ancestors have unique powers. Most were healers, but some, including Janelle, can time travel. The first time Janelle time travels is with Richard, by accident and without knowledge of her powers, early in their courtship. They arrive in 12th-century England where they visit Richard’s ancestors in their castle (and where they make a strange discovery). A return trip devastates Richard – something about his birthright upset him greatly. In addition, the ancestors they’d met previously have all been murdered.
At their wedding, an ‘old friend’ of Richard’s tries to prevent the wedding (avenging the death of a lover), until he meets Rachel, a friend of Janelle’s. On their wedding trip, Janelle is nearly kidnapped by a madman, and later, Richard is mugged, resulting in amnesia and an infidelity. When Janelle became pregnant with their son, both Maura, Janelle’s companion, and Damian, Richard’s father, send Richard into exile, banned from seeing Janelle until after their son’s birth. While they love each other very much, and know there is no other for either of them, will Richard and Janelle be together, as they vowed they would be, or will their differences and circumstances be more than the relationship can take?
Julie Jordan
Rick,
Have you seen the Walter, The Farting Dog books? they're really cute.
I bought one for my grandson. I can't wait to read it to him.
Best,
Tambra
Miriam,
I'd read your book. Your paragraph hooked me.
Best,
Tambra
Okay okay, I never comment, but I had to write a one paragraph summary for an e-mail today, so this was really topical! =D
This is the one paragraph I came up with:
Thomas goes to a psychic as a last ditch effort to find his uncle Paul -- not out of any belief in the supernatural, but knowing that Paul once worked for said psychic. Instead of getting the answers he had hoped, Thomas gets a job looking after the psychic's twelve-year-old boy -- not a son by blood, but a son nonetheless. Before she's able to track down her wayward ex-employee, the psychic is kidnapped by megalomaniac Andrew Baker, and Thomas takes it upon himself to get her back.
I love your description of Sarah being 'chronically overscheduled', the spaceship being 'sassy' and the pirate being 'nefarious'. I like descriptive writing and these words evoked a plateau of images and meaning for me.
It was really helpful to see what you've done. It was also great to read the pitches of other writers, too. Thanks everyone :)
The one liner for my debut novel Dead Frog on the Porch is: Kids can change the world even if it is one frog at a time.
My one 'graph is: Sisters Cyd and Jane are propelled into an international plot involving evil scientists and giant genetically stretched frogs. Will the twins win this hilarious race to save the frog kingdom?
You're right Nathan, you never stop pitching, now that I'm published I'm pitching to schools, the media, conferences, awards, agents, film companies etc. Writers will always have to pitch so might as well get good at it!
More interesting pitches. Heidi J. Johns, your last one (your favorite) IS the best!
Anonymous 4:20 pm, WONDERBAR, not WONDERBRA! The great science fiction lingerie novel has yet to be written. Captain Underpants doesn't count.
My one sentence for a nonfiction mind body spirit wip.
Two thousand years ago I was the disciple Judas, today I’m a plumber with a ute, and the past has caught up with me—the debt collector is an angel, and he’s brought Jesus and His family with him.
EXPAT
One Sentence "Elevator" Pitch:
When the Russian mafia steals an oil company manager’s briefcase containing proprietary exploration documents, he goes undercover as a Russian spy.
One Paragraph:
Ted Klimber, a recent Ivy League graduate, accepts an overseas position with Caspian Oil, a multi-national consortium located in Atyrau, Kazakhstan as their deputy general manager for public relations. When the Russian mafia steals his briefcase containing secret exploration documents, he is fired. Alone and desperate in a foreign land, he will do the unthinkable. Ted will go undercover as a spy to steal as many Russian secrets as possible to leverage his position that is if he doesn’t misconstrue his assignments. Can an inept-spy out-spy the spies and stay alive? The Russian mob is going to kill Ted Klimber a lot. That is if everyone else doesn’t kill him first.
Two Paragraphs:
Luckily, Ted has met a nice Kazakh woman who is the company driver for Caspian Oil. She begins to teach him a few words that may just come in handy during one spy episode where he charades as a Russian diplomat. At a high-level government engagement, sheep’s head is served to the guest of honor: Ted. He must forgo his vegetarian mantra and eat the brain without giving away his cover. When the mafia discovers he is not a real spy they threaten to give him a 44-caliber enema. His only hope for survival will be to blackmail Caspian Oil with their own secret exploration documents.
Great post! And I need to brush up on this since I'm hoping to snag some agent/editor appointments at the July RWA. These are for my contemporary novella HEARTS IN THE DARK:
One sentence: A man and a woman get trapped in a pitch-black elevator for five hours, and have a conversation so engaging it leaves them both wondering if it’s possible to fall for someone they’ve never seen.
One paragraph: Makenna James and Caden Grayson appear to be complete opposites – a buttoned-up professional woman and a heavily tattooed guy in jeans and t-shirts. They never would have interacted had they passed on the street, but now they have no choice: a power outage has trapped them in a pitch-black elevator. As the hours pass, Caden fights his claustrophobia and Makenna distracts him with a conversation so engaging, they both wonder if it’s possible to fall for someone they’ve never seen.
Two paragraph: Makenna James thinks she’s plain, ordinary – and she works as an accountant to boot. Caden Grayson knows he’s anything but – his piercings, tattoos, skull trim, and the obvious head scar from an accident that killed his family stand out and keep people at a distance. They never would have interacted had they passed on the street. But now they have no choice: a power outage has trapped them in a pitch-black elevator.
As minutes turn into hours, a game of Twenty Questions turns into the most engaging conversation of their lives. Makenna can’t believe the deep sense of kinship she develops with this stranger who proves to be kind and sweet despite his tragic losses. Caden is stunned to realize that Makenna’s playful, accepting manner makes it possible for him to control the threatening panic his claustrophobia causes and drop his anti-social façade. As it heats up in the elevator, both find themselves wondering if it’s possible for their hearts and minds to fall for someone their eyes have never seen.
As a copywriter, I find that these "what the book is about" blurbs come easier. Getting that novel to 80,000 words is a little tricky...
One sentence:
A stir-crazy divorcee tries to prove that an ornery cop, also her high school nemesis, is a murderer, not knowing he’s in love with her.
And here are my pitches for my chicklit, THE FANTASY LIFE OF A MIDDLE-AGED WIFE:
One sentence: A middle-aged wife longing for passion in her marriage tries everything and anything to resurrect the connection she and her husband used to have, but when her efforts seem to fail she has to decide whether to accept it or fulfill her needs with someone else.
One paragraph: Middle-aged wife Sasha Brant longs for affection and passion with her husband Jason, so she begins playing out erotic fantasies to remind him of what they used to have. When her efforts don’t seem to have lasting results, Sasha’s hurt and frustration blossom into despair and anger and lead her to consider meeting her needs outside her marriage. Sasha doesn’t want to betray the man she’s loved for her whole adult life, but she can’t help but wonder: Do ‘forty’ and ‘passion’ simply not go together?
Two paragraphs: Anyone would think Sasha Brant had it all: a good guy of a husband, a sweet daughter, lots of friends, and the satisfaction of being her own boss. But Sasha's terrified...of her perfectly amiable but passionless marriage. Sasha appreciates all the good things in her life, but still yearns for the adoring looks, affectionate touches, frequent sex, and multiple orgasms her husband Jason used to give her. So she resolves to change things, and delves into her vivid imagination to satisfy herself while she tries to reignite the spark with her husband by playing out some of those very same fantasies.
When her efforts don't seem to have lasting results, Sasha's hurt and frustration blossom into despair and anger and lead her to consider meeting her needs outside her marriage. The last thing Sasha wants is to hurt or betray the man she’s loved her whole adult life, but she's not sure she can live with never again being looked at, touched, or kissed with need and want. Sasha struggles can't help but wonder: Do 'forty' and 'passion' simply not go together? If only she could find a way to get Jason to remember what they used to have and want it back too....
Okay, here is my exercise for my sci-fi novel EVERY KINGDOM DIVIDED:
One Sentence:
After the Second American Revolution, a doctor from Blue America must venture into the dark heart of The Red States to save his lost love.
One Paragraph:
Jack Pasternak receives a garbled distress call from his fiancée before her transmissions stop altogether. Unfortunately, since the Second American Revolution no Blue citizens are allowed to cross the Red States. Throwing caution to the wind, Jack hops into an old-fashioned petroleum-fueled convertible and takes off across a continent of dangers to save the woman he loves.
Two Paragraphs:
Jack Pasternak, a laid-back California doctor, receives a garbled distress call from his fiancée in Maryland before her transmissions stop altogether. Unfortunately, citizens of the Blue States are no longer allowed to cross Red America ever since the Second American Revolution began. Jack is faced with an impossible choice: ignore his one true love or risk life and sanity by venturing into the dark heart of the Red States.
When the armies of the Mexican reconquista come marching into Los Angeles, Jack’s hand is forced and he reluctantly heads east. The journey itself is dangerous enough, as Jack will face disputed war zones, the independent Mormon State of Deseret, and the entire enemy nation of Red America. However, his foolhardy journey turns into an impossible crusade when he picks up a hitch-hiker who turns out to be the Red President’s daughter and he learns that Daddy is very eager to get her back.
Laura Kaye: Hearts in the Dark is a book I would definitely pick up at the bookstore(or for my Kindle)...
Awesome post as always. I'm still working on the pitches for my memoir wip, and this helps! They still need a lot of work, but here's what I've got so far:
1 sentence: After blowing off college to volunteer in Africa, I struggle with the internal conflict of whether foreign volunteers are actually helping or hurting in their efforts to make a difference.
1 paragraph: The year I turned twenty, I blew off college, waved goodbye to my family, and hopped on a plane to West Africa. My goals were to save Africa, find God, and show the world, my parents, and myself how unselfish I was. After watching and participating in ineffective attempts to teach 10 preschoolers whose English is limited to “see, pencil broken,” I struggle with the internal conflict of whether my volunteering is actually making a difference.
Two paragraph: The year I turned twenty, I blew off college, waved goodbye to my family, and hopped on a plane to West Africa. My goals were to save Africa, find God, and show the world, my parents, and myself how unselfish I was. I figured I could do it all in four months.
Based on my first volunteer trip to Ghana, The Stars are Plenty chronicles the international volunteer journey from idealism to despair to regained hope and explores the question of whether volunteers worldwide–including myself– are actually “making a difference.” From hilarious marriage proposals by 14-year-old bike riders to accidental hitch hiking into the capital of the Asante kingdom to the frustrations of teaching 10 preschoolers whose English is limited to “see, pencil broken,” it is an honest look at the popular volunteering-meets-tourism experience set in this heart-wrenching and beautiful African nation.
I've spent the last two hours re-writing a single sentence. Thanks for the example and the prod, Nathan.
After reading my latest draft of the sentence to my husband I got a blank stare, but when I read him Nathan's I got "Now that's good." I guess that's why you do what you do!
If I come up with a satisfactory one by the wee hours I'll post it...
Oh God! This is the first time I have attempted a pitch like this. Here goes nothing!
One sentence pitch:
Mortal Isabella and stepbrother Nicholas, a half-mortal, are separated when Belle is kidnapped by the secret Han and they must find their way back to each other through the aegis of a message woven into a cloth of silk and paper and the assistance of the eldritch of Eirie.
One paragraph:
Isabella is a mortal woman who is kidnapped by agents from the secretive Han province. Her stepbrother, a half-mortal Nicholas, became mute at the time of her kidnap. In order to find her and break the curse that has made him mute, he must decipher a message in a bolt of cloth and begin a journey across the enchanted world of Eirie in which they both lives. Whilst he is searching, Isabella is trying to escape the Han with the help of the imperial heir and the eldritch Fox Lady.
Two paragraphs:
Nicholas is a half mortal who grew to adulthood in the uncomfortable knowledge that as a babe, his parents left him with another family. Isabella, his mortal stepsister, is a confident, somewhat arrogant beauty for whom the world frequently stops spinning. When she is kidnapped by the Han she must re-configure herself in order to escape. Nicholas is cursed at the time of her kidnap and must begin his own journey of self-discovery as he seeks his stepsister.
Belle weaves a cloth of silk and paper called Shifu which contains directions for Nico, should the fabric find its way to their home. The two travel over different paths toward each other with the help of the eldritch Others who inhabit Eirie. When Isabella and Nicholas eventually re-discover each other, life will never be the same as Nicholas is forced to make a choice that will remove him forever from the living world.
Alright, here goes:
Sentence--It's about twin 13 year-olds who're the black sheep of the magic world, but they can clear their family name and save their loved ones if they can find a way to outsmart the demon who's scheming to destroy the world in two weeks time on Halloween night.
Two (longish?) Paragraphs--Josh and Liz Raven are 13-year-old magicians, but when it comes to the control of magic, they’re toddlers taking their first tumbles. When a sinister car accident robs their mother of all memory of her kids, the Raven twins discover that the family portal is leaking magic and a demon is taking shape in their neighborhood. With the help of their newfound magic and the family farm of freakish creatures, the twins might stand a chance against a regular demon–but this is Veta Rashon, the most powerful and dreaded demon to ever set his sights on earth, and he intends to rip open the Raven portal and flood the world with demon-kind.
Thanks to the scheming of a Raven ancestor who left a stain on the family name, Josh and Liz will get no help from the Magician’s Enclave. With no idea who they can trust or even what they dare tell each other, Josh and Liz have less than a fortnight before Halloween and their school’s Haunted Hall party–to which Veta Rashon just may have procured an invitation. Will the twins accept their Raven heritage, and will they keep the demons from turning Halloween into a night of nightmares?
Thanks for the nudge, Nathan! I'll be querying just as soon as I've cleaned up the synopsis, so it was time I got this done.
Ack! Thanks a lot, Nathan. My OCD writerly brain has just blown two hours trying to write a single sentence, and now I have to get up early and go to work tomorrow.
I love your blog, but I don't think I should read it before bedtime. :p
Pitches for The Thought Shapers
Can you please help me decide between the first two one sentence pitches? And do you think evil genius works, or is it too cliche?
One sentence:
Pandora searches for her true identity in a near future world controlled by reality TV.
Or:
When all that is ‘real and true’ is transmitted to you via your TV screen, how do you learn to think for yourself?
One para:
In Citereal, where everyone must watch endless reality shows and reading books is banned, Pandora is encouraged by her adoptive mother to have her own ideas. When she fails her exam on the ‘Citizenship Challenge’ TV quiz show, she knows she will be exiled, if she survives. She has no idea what lies beyond the city, but threatened with imprisonment and torture, she escapes with Darius, the quiz show host and evil genius behind REAL TV in pursuit. Will she discover in time that she can change reality through thoughts and imagination?
Two para:
In Citereal, where everyone must watch endless reality shows and reading books is banned, Pandora is encouraged by her adoptive mother to have her own ideas. When she fails her exam on the ‘Citizenship Challenge’ TV quiz show, she knows she will be exiled, if she survives.
Darius, the quiz show host, and the man behind REAL TV, tests her DNA and finds she is a thought shaper who could end his oppressive regime. She has no idea what lies beyond the city and no one can tell her anything about her past, but threatened with imprisonment and torture, she escapes with Darius in pursuit. Will she discover in time that she can change reality through thoughts and imagination?
Another excellent post!
Thanks for sharing, Nathan :)
I'd go a step further: write the pitch before you write the book (yes, of course you can change it later!). There's nothing like distilling a big idea into a small number of words to organise your thoughts. If you can't do that, are you sure you're ready to start writing?
@Tricia: I prefer the first one. It's more specific and clear about what the novel's premise. It's also interesting. I don't think rhetorical questions are good for a 1 sentence hook, I know that they're horrible to start qureries with according to the Shark.
Thanks, Mesmerix - very helpful. I have the rhetorical question as one part of the query letter, with the other parts being a paragraph about the book, favourable peer reviews, and one para about me. Perhaps I should take it out.
"chronically overscheduled." GAH - I *love* that. Brillz!
@Tricia: You have to do what you think is best. I don't claim to be an expert, I only reiterate the things the Query Shark, Janet Reid, talks about in her blog. Check it out if you haven't, I find it very helpful: http://queryshark.blogspot.com/
Hey, great and timely topic Nathan! I did this just last week to get ready for a new round of queries:
--Venetian smugglers double-cross both the Roman Church and the Byzantine Empire to capture the mummified, headless corpse of Saint Mark the Evangelist.
Here's my one sentence, one paragraph, two paragraph pitch. Love to hear what ya'll think, especially you, Nathan...;o)
One Sentence: When Jesus first came to revolutionize Judaism and to tell people that organized religion was unnecessary to reach God and attain immortality – He failed.
One Paragraph: Jesus has returned, from a parallel universe, to correct the mistakes generated by his first visit. He seeks to stop a religiously incited nuclear war and to find three ancient documents that disprove the Bible’s accuracy and Christianity’s dogma. Disarming the entire worlds’ nuclear arsenals is easy. The second task proves to be much more difficult.
Two Paragraphs: The world’s power brokers are less than welcoming when Jesus announces his return. He intends to change how people think about God and set them free from the fear that religion, government and corporations have used to enslave people for thousands of years. Allied by three disciples, selected for their latent paranormal abilities and past incarnations, Jesus searches for three ancient documents that will lay bare the misinterpretations of the Bible and upend Christianity.
Around the globe, Jesus and his followers avoid one trap after another. The Pope wants him discredited or eliminated – whichever comes first. The FBI is hunting him as a terrorist and the CIA want to experiment with his supernatural abilities. Carl Eagle, like Jesus, is a being from a parallel universe, intent upon world domination and Jesus’ greatest enemy. Jesus gets the documents, but before He can release their message to the world, He is wounded and a terrorist ignites a bomb in Jerusalem. Jesus has to return to his world or die and this world explodes into World War Three.
Stalker Gray is an epic fantasy about a woman waging war against a god who plucked out her eyes.
I realized I only gave character and no more. Still haven't got the plot boiled down to one sentence. I can elevator pitch it...just not in a single sentence. And even that single sentence is a handful....
Carl H. Petnoy is old, frail, longing for a retirement that seems will never come, and a werewolf with the Chinese mafia, an estranged daughter, New York City Homicide, and a dimwitted but persistent dogcatcher all on his tail.
A girl and her beagle embark on a journey to a dystopian land ruled by an eccentric ghost.
An insecure 7th grader named Racer tours the Kremlin Museum and discovers a hidden portal to a terrifying dystopian land called Fabrussiana. Racer unlocks a magical carriage and travels to Fabrussiana where she and her beagle Buddy crash and must find a way back. Three animals offer guidance through the dark forest, which is ruled by the eccentric ghost Vwoolf Von Vlad Hounzer.
The iron-fisted apparition seeks revenge for his 1917 murder by turncoats who fed him poisoned cake. Vwoolf rages through the towns and countryside searching for the last remaining Romanov Egg – an egg purported to hold the key to immortality. When Buddy is dognapped, Racer and her new friends must locate the egg, rescue the beagle and defeat the villain.
http://www.adventuresofracerandbuddy.blogspot.com
Great Post, Nathan. I'm still working with my editor on final changes to my novel, but my pitch needed a makeover. Your blog post helped.
One sentence Pitch:
Sophia searches to cure the haunting noise in her mind, but instead finds information on an ancestor's missing body.
One paragraph:
Sophia wants to stop the noise in her mind. After a failed attempt to garner help from Mother Nature, she searches the attic for information on what is causing her affliction. Instead she finds a document from the Salem Witch Trials, revealing an ancestor's body went missing after she was hanged. Sophia's life will be at risk if she can't uncover this woman's true identity.
Two paragraph:
After a window-side ritual, the noise that has haunted Sophia all her life turns to whispering voices. Thinking she's gone off her rocker, she begins a search for a cure, only to reveal a family legacy dating back to the Salem Witch Trials. Her ancestor's body went missing after hanging, and Sophia's life is in danger if she can't uncover this woman's true identity.
Charles has been following Sophia. He may be all wrong for her, or he may be the one she's meant to be with. But his family carries a dangerous secret she must protect. The deeper into this dark world she stumbles, the more dangerous the connections become. The secrets she keeps are soon discovered by those responsible for a genocide that spans centuries. Sophia needs to uncover the secret of her ancestor in time to save those she loves.
http://rebecca-hamilton.com/
Twitter: @inkmuse
Thanks for the assignment: very helpful to someone who's just starting out! Here's my one sentence:
Betrayed years ago when her father left, 18 year old Dianna Latham stumbles into the only type of relationship that feels safe -- a fictional one -- only to discover that reality hides in the most unexpected places.
My pitches are written below. When reading them please keep in mind that I am three chapters away from completing the first draft of my novel.
I'm sure my pitch will change after my WIP has been revised. However, I hope the feedback I receive here will help me to polish it.
One Sentence Pitch: My story is based on a plot that begins with a prophecy in the sixteenth-century Mayan jungle, and ends in the White House during the twenty-first century.
One Paragraph Pitch: Deep in the Yucatán in 1562, a Mayan High Priest is instructed by the gods to entrust a sacred prophecy to Spanish Conquistador, Domingo Mendoza. With the assistance of an angel, the Mendoza family protects the prophecy for more than four-hundred and fifty years. In 2010, Soledad Mendoza inherits the prophecy following her father's murder. In a race against time, the angel must help Soledad uncover her destiny before diabolical forces can achieve their goal to take over the White House, then the world.
Two Paragraph Pitch: Deep in the Yucatán in 1562, a Mayan High Priest is instructed by the gods to entrust a sacred prophecy to Spanish Conquistador, Domingo Mendoza. With the assistance of an angel, the Mendoza family protects the prophecy for the next four-hundred and fifty years.
Following her father's murder in 2010, Soledad Mendoza inherits the prophecy and his journal. After reading the her father’s entries, Soledad realizes the prophecy does more than foretell an apocalyptic event, it holds the secret to stopping it. In a race against time, the angel must help Soledad uncover her destiny before diabolical forces can achieve their goal, to take over the White House, then the world.
This was easier than I thought it would be:
One sentence
A farmboy discovers he can use magic, and is charged by the voice in his head to destroy the system that keeps people like him under control, while fighting off his own growing insanity.
One paragraph
Isem Alder discovers he can channel a power known as the Madness when he burns a man alive in a fight. It is then that he discovers the secrets of the Madmen like himself, and the Quis who hold power over them. A voice in his head, professing to be the Madness itself, charges him to destroy the Quis and free the Madmen. Isem must learn to control his power - and retain his sanity - and defeat the Quis while being hunted by a mysterious woman in white.
Two paragraphs
The Madness isn't supposed to be sentient. It's nothing but a source of power that Madmen can use. But after Isem Alder proves he can use this power - by burning a man alive in a fight - he starts to hear a voice in his head that claims to be the Madness itself.
Isem is brought to the Asylum by the Quis, as all Madmen are, to be kept under their watchful eye. It is there that he is charged by the Madness with freeing the Madmen from the control of the Quis. To do this, he has to escape the Asylum, gather an army, march on the best trained military force the world knows, fight off a mysterious woman who is immune to his powers, and struggle against his own approaching insanity.
I'm late to the conversation here, but I boiled down the basics of what your pitches offer up, and it was helpful for me:
One sentence pitch - no character explanation at all! It's just plot, and you could even go so far as to say it's not plot so much as it is a snappy way to express the situation of the novel.
One paragraph pitch - here you can give character names, express the plot where you explain actual conflict, name an antagonist or whatever hurdle the main character has to leap, as well as offer some setting.
Two paragraph pitch - now we even get the main character's background! plus similar plot explanation but with just a touch more detail to spice it up. The antagonist gets similar spicing up too.
Naturally, it's a question of depth. One sentence offers the situation/concept of the novel. The one & two paragraph pitches give character & plot details, each to greater depth as the length affords.
I like to have the concepts behind me before I dig into the work. So now...I may actually have a way to boil down the one line pitch. Thanks Nathan, this post was superhelpful.
Cheers.
(which is not to say this would be the only way of going about building the pitches, but it's a nice beginning...)
I've always had trouble pitching. http://inkpop.com/profile/me/
Thanks, J. T. Shea! I'm still pretty partial to my original one sentence pitch (even though it has almost no plot in it)!
Thanks, Nathan, for this exercise. It was very helpful!
Off to send more queries....
Songs from the Other Side of the Wall. In a sentence:
Murakami's Norwegian Wood, set in post-communist Hungary.
In a paragraph:
After her mother walks out and returns to England when she's just a week old, Szandi grows up on the vineyard in Hungary that has been in her family for 300 years. Now 18, Szandi is part of Budapest’s cosmopolitan art scene, sharing a flat and a bohemian lifestyle with her lover and fellow sculptress, Yang. She has finally found her place in the world. When she discovers that her father has only weeks to live, Szandi must choose once and for all: between the past and the present; between East and West; between her family and her lover.
In two paragraphs:
After her mother walks out and returns to England when she's just a week old, Szandi grows up on the vineyard in Hungary that has been in her family for 300 years. Now 18, Szandi is part of Budapest’s cosmopolitan art scene, sharing a flat and a bohemian lifestyle with her lover and fellow sculptress, Yang. She has finally found her place in the world. When she discovers that her father has only weeks to live, Szandi must choose once and for all: between the past and the present; between East and West; between her family and her lover.
Songs from the Other Side of the Wall is a coming of age story that inhabits anti-capitalist chatrooms and ancient wine cellars, seedy bars and dreaming spires; and takes us on a remarkable journey across Europe and cyberspace in the company of rock stars and dropouts, diaries that appear from nowhere, a telepathic fashion mogul, and the talking statue of a bull.
I know the one sentence pitch is necessary, but the thought of it makes me want to go and cry in a dark corner somewhere. :P
Summarizing gives me hives. People always want to know what your book is about but if you don't tell them it's a memoir about your alcoholic mother or a fictional story about two boys growing up in Mumbai (i.e. Oprah sticker books) their eyes get a little funny.
Much better is talking to people who actually read, but we're getting rarer all the time.
Ooo, Dan, I would read that... I loved Norwegian Wood. I do wonder though why she can't return to her life after her father dies. Does she have to support the family or something? I guess in Murakami the problems are always more psychological than anything else.
Here's my one sentence pitch for my YA fantasy with a working title of Ghosthand.
Seventeen-year-old Olivia Black has done just fine handling her rare birth defect, an ethereal ghosthand where her fleshly right hand should be, but when a handsome new transfer from the city sits next to her in Algebra class, Olivia's hand starts reaching into people and pulling very strange things out.
Just a thought. I'm noticing that when people use "teen" or "middle-aged woman" or a similar vague describer in their pitch, it turns me off. Give your character their name, even in the one sentence pitch. IMO.
Ripley Patton
Two women in their sixties- one divorced, one widowed- travel back in time form Los Angeles in 2012 to London in 1969 and find love - one old, one new.
TV series pitch: A physic Matchmaker who is right 90% of the time
mid grade novel pitch: “Tasha, The Magnificent” is a story about Tasha and her best friend Izzy, two fifth grade girls, who want to be different than they are and seek magic as a way to make it happen.
This is really timely and helpful. Thank you.
Reading your one sentence and reading others bravely posted and comparing, makes it much clearer why mine doesn't yet work.
You summarise the ACTION, STRUCTURE and PLOT in one sentence. Trigger, Consequence, Quest.
Others, mine included, are too descriptive. What is it about, really asks, what happens and why?
Nathan, this is an awesome post and your pitches are great! I'm still working on my one paragraph and two paragraph pitches, myself; however, I have settled on my one sentence pitch. Here it is!
A fifteen-year old boy discovers his dead parents are alive and living within a magical world, and must sacrifice his best friend and the girl he loves in order to find them and return home.
Since this is still going...(and thanks to the brave people posting their work, really helps a lot!)
One Sentence: A woman wakes up to find herself trapped in the quintessential American soap opera town and must find a way to write herself out of it.
Nathan,
Should the one-sentence-pitch be more about the catalyst of the story or the main conflict? Yours, amazingly, seems to have both (I'm guessing) with the corn-dog trade as the catalyst and the finding their way home as the main conflict.
Is it ok to describe the situation the MC is in without saying what choices they have? It's so difficult to balance the level of detail to put in one sentence.
Too much detail and it's a gobblety-gook of a run-on sentence. Not enough detail and it sounds like a vague, cheesy movie trailer.
Here's what I got so far, but I think it's too vague:
A hot-tempered teenage girl has super-powers that she can’t remember and she battles her childhood friends to uncover the truth about herself.
When a sassy angel is hauled halo-first to hell, her fascination with an angel of light clashes with seductions of demons, and she finds herself in a world where some desires are paid for with your soul.
That "book" sounds like the stupidest. most inane piece of crap I can imagine. I can only assume its for kids or YA, if so, I will say that it takes an especially untalented writer to insult the intelligence of that segment, but it seems you've managed to do it in spades.
Haha... Here I thought I'd have to wait for my book to come out to get my first bad review. Tha you, Internet. Thank you.
"A Confederate nurse-turned-vampire struggles to retain her humanity."
Thanks for the prompt.
By: Nathan Bransford,
on 5/12/2010
Blog: Nathan Bransford (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: book recommendations, You Tell Me, Add a tag
Thank you so much to everyone for participating in the Inaugural First Page Critique, and especially to Michelle, our Inaugural First Pagee. There have been requests afoot for this to be a regular feature, and: consider it done!
Every Monday henceforth we'll have a page (and occasionally query) critique, and I'll continue to reward those with fast fingers and critique the first one posted in the comments. I liked the idea of choosing randomly from the comments section to account for time zones, but First Comment ensures randomness, there won't be delays as I wait for someone to reply, and creates an intriguing element of competition.
This also means we have a nicely symmetrical weekly schedule: Monday page critiques, Tuesday new, Wednesday You Tell Me, Thursday new, and Friday This Week in Publishing.
So be on the lookout Monday for the next Page Critique session! Also, I swear this only partly a shameless plug, but just so that everyone is on level footing: if you Follow the blog it updates almost instantaneously after I've posted in feed readers and the like, and I'll also update my Twitter feed when it's up as well. Hopefully that will save some people from the refresh button.
Now then! I am lifting this question directly from the Forums, and it was originally posed by Colonel Travis (yes, the real one from the Alamo, check the avatar!!):
What is the funniest book of all time?
Some of my favorites include Roald Dahl's books, but I'd ultimately have to go with HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY.
What do you think?
I have a terrible memory for anything involving lists of favorites ("best" "worst" "funniest"). But I second the Jasper Fforde Thursday Next series (especially the Well of Lost Souls), and another one I remember at the moment is Cintra Wilson's COLORS INSULTING TO NATURE. OMG. The Sound of Music sequence in that is one of the funniest things I've ever read.
Fiction? Something by Wodehouse or Waugh. Nonfiction? Either BAD MOVIES WE LOVE by Edward Marguiles and Stephen Rebello or IF YOU'RE TALKING TO ME, YOUR CAREER MUST BE IN TROUBLE by Joe Queenan. Queenan's chapter "Mickey Rourke for a Day" made me laugh harder than anything else I have ever read.
Gerald Durrell's MY FAMILY AND OTHER ANIMALS. I especially enjoyed the boy scout fiasco with real dynamite and the floating flags that disintegrated into bad- luck floating crosses.
Code of the Woosters by P.G. Wodehouse.
BRING ON THE EMPTY HORSES by David Niven.
David Sedaris' "Barrel Fever" and no contest. This is laugh-out-loud and fall-off-the-couch on every single page. His books after that are humorous, but he got religion or became more PC and they pale. Second choice would be Chris Moore's "The Island of the Sequined Love Nun."
ROCK ON: AN OFFICE POWER BALLAD by DAN KENNEDY.
!!!! LOVE this guy and his books.....
I can't believe the SEX LIVES OF CANNIBALS by J. Maarten Troost is not on this list!!!!! I'll love David Sedaris forever and even inspired me to write, but my vote goes to Troost on this one.
I gotta say "The Ask" by Sam Lipsyte was hilarious from the first sentence to the last. I enjoyed every damned page of that book, albeit with a crooked smile at times. I read it immediately after finishing "Confederacy of Dunces." And while I loved that book, I think "The Ask" was much more entertaining and consistent. But "Notes From Underground" is my all-time funny favorite.
I'll have to go with Three Men in a Boat although all I remember is that it make me laugh out loud. That was long ago though and my sense of humor may have changed.
There have been others but the titles evade me at the moment.
I hope the person who voted for Kiterunner was joking although when I hear what people laugh at on tv nothing should surprise me.
A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel. I've read it over and over and laugh every time.
Check out Sarah Vowell's ASSASSINATION VACATION - the lady makes history knee-slapping funny. Or I'd jump in the Way Back Machine and read THE GANG THAT COULDN'T SHOOT STRAIGHT.
As an aside, I get this blog by email and happened to be in my email account with this one popped up. Already 113 comments. Don't think I'm every gonna make #1. Shucks.
Catch 22; A Confederacy of Dunces; Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up To Me. Hitch Hikers Guide was quite funny, but since it did not start as a book, I opted for those irreverent choices.
The one book I go back to regularly to is Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.
David Sedaris for nonfiction. "Naked" in particular. I laughed for so long without a breath, I thought I'd die.
Forrest Gump for fiction. Funnier than the movie.
Anything by P.G. Wodehouse that have Bertie Wooster and Jeeves. They're always hilarious.
I always laugh out-loud while reading Connie Willis' "To Say Nothing of the Dog" (Or her "Bellwether.")
Jasper Fforde's Thursday Next books always make me giggle, too.
Oh, and when I was reading Quinn Cumming's "Notes from the Underwire" last summer? I had to keep holding a pillow in front of my face to keep from waking the rest of the family up with all the laughing.
The Princess Bride, hands down! I laugh out loud every time I try to read it...
I'm going to second:
'My Horizontal Life' -
Chelsea Handler (I have never laughed at her live stuff, but her books are hilarious)
&
'A Clockwork Orange' - Burgess
I'm also going to add 'Snuff' - Chuck Palahniuk
A three-way tie between A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES, THE PRINCESS BRIDE, and FUDGE-A-MANIA.
Dr Fegg's Encyclopeadia Of All World Knowledge by Terry Jones and Michael Palin , plus you cant beat P.J O'Rourke's The Bachelor Home Companion for a good gaffaw .
Dr Fegg's Encyclopeadia Of All World Knowledge by Terry Jones and Michael Palin , plus you cant beat P.J O'Rourke's The Bachelor Home Companion for a good gaffaw .
I have to add one more: THE SACRED DIARY OF ADRIAN PLASS, AGED 37 3/4.
I vote for Frank Portman's King Dork (plus it's a great band book!)
I kept getting strange looks when I read The Stupidest Angel by
Christopher Moore because I was laughing so hard so often. I nominate that.
Hands down, Hunter Thompson's "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas". Also Fielding's "Bridget Jones Diary". Wodehouse of course, Princess Bride certainly and a book I read from the library 20 years and am STILL trying to find again about. . .I don't even remember, but it was flat hilarious! Dang!
Chris Carney
There's a Boy in the Girl's Bathroom by Louis Sachar. I love all his books, but this one made me laugh most consistently.
I know there have been others recently that have made me laugh out loud frequently, but I'm not remembering the titles at the moment.
Chalk me up for another vote for Hitchikers' Guide To The Galaxy.
About five or six years ago I read a book by a female British author so hilarious I laughed my way through a day of severe back pain. Can't recall the title or author name though. The second funniest book, which I'm currently reading, is Lost Continent by Bill Bryson. There were several lol moments especially at the beginning. Lost Continent is a very sardonic read.
Great timing because I now have an answer to this question. Last night I finished Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta and it is HYSTERICAL. I kept my husband up with my constant squealing and tittering. I had tears in my eyes. It is one of the best books ever.
Also, I love Melina Marchetta, but I would not have called Jellicoe Road "hysterical." Francesca was. *love*
Hitchhikers Guide, hands down!
I nearly squealed it out loud as soon as I read the blog title :D
I would have to put these three in the top positions.
#1 - Tom Sharpe and virtually EVERYTHING written by him (Porterhouse Blue, Indecent Exposure, Wilt, Ancestral Vices etc...) whatever he writes gets me sniggering in a very Brit upperclass manner.
#2 - Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy causes me working class/lower middle class joviality.
#3 - John Mortimer and his RUMPOLE series (also televised as a series by the BBC) is simply middle middle class/lower upper middle class fruity and foxy fun.
You said THE funniest but I can't really choose one - it depends on which social class we're talking about..... :)
As the aforementioned forum questioner, this is great to see so many suggestions.
Thanks for turning it into a blog post, Nathan.
Richard Powell's DON QUIXOTE USA is hilarious. I wish it was back in print. I'd buy a dozen copies to give away. Wodehouse was a genius. Also, Kingsley Amis' LUCKY JIM is pretty darn funny.
Anon-
I'm working on DON QUIXOTE, hopefully we'll be able to get it back out there!
David Sedaris is a no brainer for me but I also laughed out loud at parts of Good Omens. Hogfather was another one that made me spit diet Dr. Pepper.
Oh, sorry to double post, BUT!
I still stand by Hitchhikers, but Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer is brilliant (though written young), and anything by Terry Pratchett... still, I don't think either can touch anything by Douglas Adams :)
Ecce Homo- by Friedrich Nietzsche- gets my vote for the funniest book of all-time... it's laugh-out-loud funny, and completely unintentionally so... includes chapters entitled "why I am so wise", and "why I am so clever"... who could not love ole Freddy?
I Hate Myself and Want to Die - the 52 Most Depressing Songs. No, it's not a story, but maybe it should be. You want funny, go no further.
I don't think Dave Barry is getting enough credit here. BIG TROUBLE probably made me laugh more than any other book I've ever read. Second for me would be Richard Russo's STRAIGHT MAN. I also agree with anything by David Sedaris, although my favorite is DRESS YOUR FAMILY IN CORDUROY AND DENIM.
A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES!!
Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions.
1) Hitchhikers
2) Lamb
Love 'em both.
Anything by Bill Bryson and David Sedaris. They are both milk out the nose funny.
Actually I'll have to put Bill at number one since for years, my children banished me from reading his books in public. My loud guffaws embarrassed them too much.
I'm currently reading SOMEDAY THIS PAIN WILL BE USEFUL TO YOU by Peter Cameron, on recommendation from Le R, and let me tell you, this shit is damn funny. Just saying.
I was thrilled to read in today's post, Nathan, that you intend to make every Monday page critique day. I really struggle with narrative, but I'm desperate to get my ideas out there in novel format. I find that the inspirations I've had over the years have helped a lot - when I keep them in mind - and I want to share in the hope they might help others. But I'm continually stymied by, apparently, poor narrative. Non-fiction is not an option as I have no platform or credentials; and, besides, showing ideas in story format can make them easier to assimiliate.
So, again, a big thank you, Nathan.
Just did a search, can't believe no one mentioned Auntie Mame by Patrick Dennis; less well known, maybe even funnier, his novel The Joyous Season
also: Excellent Women by Barbara Pym
Funniest book in my humble opinion, HOW I BECAME STUPID by Martin Page.
Honorable mentions to Bill Bryson's A WALK IN THE WOODS and anything from Kurt Vonnegut.
Jerome Klapka Jerome's Three Men in a boat (to say nothing of the dog)
Most recent--but not that new(!) "A Confederacy of Dunces". Oldies but goodies: anything by Vonnegut or Thurber.
I cannot possibly limit myself to one book. I will nominate authors instead. Wodehouse is first, with carl Hiaason and Janet Evanovitch tied for second.
Dave Barry's BABIES AND OTHER HAZARDS OF SEX was a riot! I also loved the one he did about computers (may have been called lost in cyberspace??).
Someone mentioned Janet Evanovich in one of the early comments...I think she's been really phoning the latest ones in! I was so disappointed with 14 I haven't even bothered to read 15. There are funny and/or interesting things here and there but IMO the series is starting to have major pacing issues and she adds a lot of unnecessary bits. I guess it starts to happen when you make it that far along in a series!
Wow. I found Hitchhiker's amusing... but I had a really hard time thinking of other books that made me laugh. I didn't find Catch-22 LOL--just oddly amusing.
Actually. I got it. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian by Sherman Alexie and then Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. I only really tend to laugh when I'm almost ready to cry. I adore comic relief. And I went into hysterics with each of these.
Jasper Fforde's books. Hilarious and specifically written for a literary audience.
And, of course, The Princess Bride.
Chickens in the Headlights by Matthew Buckley.
"Nickel and Dimed" by Barbara Ehrenreich. I started bending page corners back on all hilarious parts, but by the time I was finished, the book was shaped like a "greater than" math symbol!
...anything written by Christopher Moore
I recall laughing more at Happiness by Will Ferguson than perhaps any other book. (The protagonist: an editor in NYC. Premise: He publishes a self-help book that actually does everything claims.)
I agree with others who chose Helen Fielding, Jen Lancaster, and David Sedaris. All very funny and I'm immediately placing Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on my list.
My choice is Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I love it when he walks in the casino and it's a cop convention. Good stuff.
Every Monday a critique!! Yay! That's fantastic. Thanks for doing that, Nathan! It's like a slice of what you give your clients - and I really appreciate it.
Like some other posters, I do have some questions about the selection process. But I guess it's good try things out and see what works best...I did wonder if the selection needs to be random, though....it's fair of you, Nathan, that's for sure, but there could be some benefits to selecting pieces....just a thought.
This post is very cool - I love funny books, and I haven't heard of half of these.
I forgot about Evanovich - she really is a fantastic writer - quick, sharp, funny. I also loved Bridget Jones - there are alot of chick lit books that are funny. Meg Cabot can be pretty funny.
Wodehouse, of course. Although he's more amusing than laugh out loud. Someone mentioned Thurbur.
Oscar Wilde can be funny. The Importance of Being Ernest is still one of my very favorite funny/clever things ever written.
Pratchett is my total favorite, though, and Going Postal is his best so far, imho.
"Three Men in a Boat" by Jerome K. Jerome
I never really 'got' Hitchhikers Guide, so I'm going with a book called 'e' by Matt Beaumont. Not sure if it ever made it to the shores of America...
"The Cruel Shoes" by Steve Martin.
It's either one of the Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett (Hogfather, if I have to choose just one), or The Old Man and Mr. Smith by Sir Peter Ustinov. (The latter is the story of God and Satan taking a trip around Earth to see how things are going. It's utterly hilarious, but also very insightful.)
Sorry, can't narrow it down any further than that... The Hitchhiker is also a strong contender, though I like Adams' Detective Agency books even more...
Also the 'Mr Gum' series by Andy Stanton. Not sure about funniest of all time, but very, very funny.
THE MASTER AND MARGARITA, hands down. It makes you think & cracks you up, then makes you think some more. Plus it gives new meaning to the phrase "...All Time" (that's actually quite funny, if you think about it).
Free Range Chickens by Simon Rich (an SNL writer). Unbelievably funny.
My Wicked Wicked Ways, by Errol Flynn was one of the funniest book I ever read. Oh, and Ramona the Pest by Beverley Cleary and Matilda by Roald Dahl.
I need to read Hitchhiker's Guide. It's just so freaking Tome-like, it intimidates the hell out of me. Maybe if I got it on my Kindle I could do it. I used to not think I liked Sci Fi stuff, but I like CERTAIN Sci Fi, and I think Hitchhiker's Guide falls into that category. (Saw movie, loved it. Husband loves book. I love him. Seems logical.)
Katie Macalister makes me LOL though.
How can I choose? It's Thursday and I never could get the hang of Thursdays!
Ah, come on - that was funny. How could I resist?
I agree: HITCHHIKER'S (including the forward!)
Oh, another good one was THE WAR OF DON EMMANUEL'S NETHER PARTS by Louis de Bernier (and I apologise if I got the capitalization wrong in his name).
Princess Bride (yes I know it was a movie) was pretty amusing.
CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES! No contest!
Funniest book I've ever read, "Moby Dick."
"But as for Queequeg—why, Queequeg sat there among them—at the head of the table, too, it so chanced; as cool as an icicle. To be sure I cannot say much for his breeding. His greatest admirer could not have cordially justified his bringing his harpoon into breakfast with him, and using it there without ceremony; reaching over the table with it, to the imminent jeopardy of many heads, and grappling the beefsteaks towards him. But that was certainly very coolly done by him, and every
one knows that in most people's estimation, to do anything coolly is to do it genteelly."
“In the first place, it may be deemed almost superfluous to establish the fact, that among people at large, the business of whaling is not accounted on a level with what are called the liberal professions. If a stranger were introduced into any miscellaneous metropolitan society, it would but slightly advance the general opinion of his merits, were he presented to the company as a harpooneer, say; and if in emulation of the naval officers he should append the initials S. W. F. (Sperm Whale Fishery) to his visiting card, such a procedure would be deemed pre-eminently presuming and ridiculous.”
More funny:
Jean Shepherd
"I had woven a tapestry of obscenity that as far as I know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan. "
Erma Bombeck
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids.
Garrison Keillor
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
Janet Evanovich's Eleven on Top.
Not that I'm a jelly donut with the filling squishing out or anything, but...
The Obnoxious Jerks--a teeny-bopper book long out of print, but sarcastic and hilarious.
But I really love Code of the Woosters by Wodehouse as well.
"The Bear Went Over the Mountain" by William Kotzwinkle. The story of a bear who finds a manuscript in the woods. He takes it to New York and the publishing world falls all over him while turning a blind eye to the fact he's a bear. Written in first person from the bear's perspective. Funniest book - I laughed out loud and so did everyone I know who borrowed it.
A Bliss Case by Michael Aaron Rockland
Running a bit late to this conversation, but for me nothing can top Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. The blend of wit and poignancy is an unbeatable combination, and it will always be THE book I wish I'd written.
(Love your blog, by the way. Finally mustered the nerve to comment after a year.)
One of my favorite funny books is called Handling Sin by Michael Malone. I laughed from beginning to end!!!
"The divorce thing got started on Christmas Day. Daddy always said that Christmas is a joyous season when suicides and hold-ups and shoplifting and like that reach a new high and that the best place to spend the whole thing is a Moslem country. Mom says he's right about that, if about nothing else."--Patrick Dennis, The Joyous Season
The Flashman series by George MacDonald Fraser.
I laugh constantly when I read Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut. That Kilgore Trout says the darndest things.
Without feathers, Woody Allen. :-)
Anything by Pratchett makes me laugh, so it's hard to pick out just one of his books. But: Witches Abroad, at the moment.
Hitchhiker's Guide is good.
The Bandy Papers, especially That's Me In the Middle, by Donald Jack. World War I as seen by a Canadian flying ace who just doesn't get it.
Hitchhiker's was hilarious! As for non-fiction, I have to say I never laughed more when reading than with David Niven's The Moon's a Balloon.
Non-Fiction: McCarthy's Bar - McCarthy
Ficton: Lake Wobegon Days - Keillor (who else can make a time warp in a small town to get the cushions and house tidied up before Mom comes home or have a wife left at the gas station seem so utterly believable)
Though the question made me realise, I don't read a lot of humour. A Sedaris is waiting on my TBR stack.
Cooking with Fernat Branca. Easily the most side-splitting funny book ever.
I thought Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians was really funny. Fit my sense of humor very well.
Anything by Nicholas Sparks just cracks me up.
I would have to say "Going Bovine" by Libba Bray.
There were some serious parts in it, but the humor was outstanding. I listened to the audio book on my long commute and nearly drove off the road laughing. Good stuff!
Though HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE is up there for me, my hands-down number one is CODE OF THE WOOSTERS by P.G. Wodehouse. I've never laughed so often or so hard as when I read that book.
WHY GIRLS ARE WIERD by Pamela Ribon should come with a case of adult diapers.
No-one mentioned Flann O'Brien's THE THIRD POLICEMAN yet? OK, I will then. Absolute genius. Weird, wonderful and surprisingly dark.
The Georgia Nicolson series (Angus, Thongs & Full Frontal Snogging, etc.) had me laughing until tears were streaming down my face. I pestered anyone within earshot by reading passages out loud - usually pausing to regain my composure mid-sentence. I'm a sucker for cat antics, and I love Georgia's style.
For those who liked Three Men in a Boat, DO NOT miss Connie Willis' To Say Nothing of the Dog. I have to re-read this every year, it's that good.
Three Men In A Boat (To Say Nothing Of The Dog)- Jerome K. Jerome
Patricia Marx's HIM, HER, HIM AGAIN, THE END OF HIM. I don't know if it's the funniest book ever, but I found it hilarious.
Tin Tin
I'm late to this party, but Josin, I agree with Clue. It's in my all time top five favorite movies, and if you have to ask why, you just don't get it.
As for books, no question, THE WEDNESDAY WARS, by Joseph Schmidt. (Across my foot!)
HITCHHIKER'S. 'Nuff said.
No way! You're getting Don Quixote USA back in print? Oh man, oh man. You just made my year. I'm honestly going to buy a dozen, if not more. Powell is a raving genius! Awesome!
Three Men in a Boat, Jerome K Jerome, circa 1890. (It's a free download on Gutenberg so you have no excuse not to read it.)
It's like the original buddy road trip except they're stuck in a boat. Cheese, Paraffin and How Not to Put up a Tent - classic.
CANDIDE has stood up to more rereads than I can recall. Seems most I know didn't get it--maybe because they HAD to read it in college--but it's hilarious. As encouragement (Confessions of a Voltaire-Pusher here...)I told my young cousin, "Just read it like it's Seinfeld." Doubt it worked, though. And I just read SLAPSTICK for the first time and would place it alongside. Thanks everyone for the recommendations.
CARTER FINALLY GETS IT by Brent Crawford. Laughed so hard while reading it, the person next to me on the plane said, "I'll have to get that book."
Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress: Tales of Growing Up Groovy and Clueless by Susan Gilman and just finished Me Talk Pretty one Day by David Sedaris.
Dubliner Hugh Leonard's 'Home Before Night'
Definitely Roald Dahl's The Twits. I have modelled my marriage after that book!
Spud, by John van de Ruit. (South African title)
Only one mention of Donald Westlake? The Dortmunder series are the funniest books ever written, although I'd start later than Hot Rock. Maybe Nobody's Perfect. And every writer should read Westlake's The Hook, the best fiction book about being a writer ever written.
The Lazlo Toth books by Don Novello. Hilarious.
"My Search for Warren Harding" by Robert Plunket
in YA, Gordon Korman's "Don't Care High."
By: Nathan Bransford,
on 5/11/2010
Blog: Nathan Bransford (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Add a tag
As promised, today marks the launch of the first page critique(!), wherein we try to pin down what makes good writing good. Bear with me as I tinker with the format of this feature, and I will likely adjust on the fly as conditions warrant.
For our trial run, here's how this will work:
1. The first person to enter a 250 word excerpt from the beginning of their novel in the comment section will win the critique. UPDATE: Submissions closed!
2. I will update the post with the excerpt, unedited, so we can all read and form our opinions.
3. I will later update the post again with the excerpt now featuring my redlines, thoughts, comments, drawrings, emoticons, and assorted other marginalia (but really only redlines, thoughts, and comments)
4. Feel free to add your own two cents, but remember the sandwich method: positive, extremely polite constructive criticism (and I mean it), positive. I've decreed you need to read and heed this creed or I'll proceed to make you bleed. Indeed.
Here we go!
UPDATE #1: THE EXCERPT
Here is the excerpt for critique (trimmed to meet the 250 word rule). I'll be back later with a redlined update, and in case you don't want to hit refresh, you can follow me on Twitter and I'll be Tweeting when the critique is posted. In the meantime, feel free to add your own thoughts.
There it was. The twitch. He was readying for an attack. Backhand, probably, from the position of his arm. He could easily swing it around to a forehand punch but my reflexes were faster, more finely tuned. I could block him with little effort, duck down and spin while kicking my leg out. He’d be on the ground in moments.
I wanted to grin, but I held back. I had him again.
“I love you,” he said. His sideways grin usually melted my insides, but not now. I refused to look at his face while I was sparring. I couldn’t believe he’d think that would work on me. My toes dug into the dirt floor. I wouldn’t lose my grip, not now.
Ryoko’s hand flew and the scene played out just as I thought it would. He fell to the floor, landing on his back and his arms jerked out to the sides, slapping on the ground first to protect his back from a hard landing.
I giggled, seeing his eyes close and tighten. Frustration took over. After all these years, he still had a hard time believing a girl could beat him. Lucky for him, no one had ever seen. Girls weren’t allowed to fight, especially not an adoptee like myself. Technically he wasn’t allowed to fight either, but since he was adopted by the arms master, he was given some leeway to assist with training.
“Why do you insist on torturing me, Sinna?” he asked.
UPDATE #2: MY CRITIQUE
Thanks so much to Michelle for offering her page for critique! Sorry for throwing everyone for a loop by asking for 250 pages in the original post. Now that would have been some critique!
I think this is an engaging opening and even though it's an opening action scene, the back and forth is easy to follow. That's tricky to pull off and it's handled well. I also like that we're learning about the characters and their relationship through action, which is also good - we can learn a lot about the characters right off the bat.
There are two main points of critique I'd offer:
1) Mystery - While I like that we're left wanting to know more about these characters, I worry that this opening might be just a little too coy with key details. Where are they? Who are they? What are they doing? There are only the barest of clues. Even with the
Nathan, wow you're fast!
I'm extremely impressed. Not only are you fast, but your critique was spot on.
Wow.
Boy, are your clients lucky!!
Wow again. You're very talented Nathan.
Okay, so I'm not sure I have anything to add....
First, kudos to Michelle for putting yourself out there. Brave! Good for you! :)
And overall I like this piece alot.
I thought the fight was well-done -that is really hard to do, and I liked the set-up at the beginning -and my surprise that the narrator felt no fear.
But I agree with Nathan about the need for more details - as a reader I was working alittle too hard, and needed just a touch more context.
Loved the line: 'his sideways grin usually melted my insides.' Nice.
I'm mixed on the 'why are you torturing me' line. I liked the flirtatous quality and I liked the acknowledgement that Sinna usually wins. I actually liked the familiarity of it - it helped ground me. But - if there were a bit more context, I might not need that grounding, and another line might have given more insight into the relationship and Ryoko, like Nathan suggested.
Okay, that's it. Nicely done, Michelle.
Oh - I felt voice in this, as per yesterday's post. I felt like the odds were good that I could settle in to a good story.
I'm going to read the excerpt and critiques later today, but just wanted to say that the Page Critique addition to your Blog is awesome! Your Blog just keeps getting better and better ... and better. And LOL about the "drawrings".
Wow - everyone. Thanks for the great thoughts. This is so fun and an amazing opportunity.
Rebecca - I had no idea Ryoko was a girl's name. *note to self to change his name* :-)
As Josin said: the opening details were just too unclear as to what they were doing. I thought tennis too.
Because of that, I had a hard time getting into this. I'd like more orientation into the scene.
Thanks, Michelle and Nathan. Nathan - When do you expect to have the next one of these?
anon-
Not sure! Maybe every other week or so?
Hmmm...I could see why people would be confused by the opening. If the reader knew it was fantasy going into it, I wonder if that would change the perception?
I love how so much can be said about 250 words. Keep it comin'!
Michelle,
For me, knowing the genre definitely puts the story in a different space.
This is a cold read, but if I'd known it was fantasy, I'd have thought "sword" instead of "tennis racket". (Unless it's UF and then it could still be tennis.)
Woo-HOO! Nathan, how often will you be doing this? Please, tell me it will be a regular addition to your blog.
Okay, back to the reason for commenting: Michelle, thank you for posting this for us all to see, learn from, and think about. Kudos to you! And, it's a fairly good opener - you drop us right into the action, which I like, and which left me wanting to find out more about these two people, where they are, how they got there, and what is going to happen to them. It's also pretty tightly written: in the line "Girls weren't allowed to fight, especially not an adoptee like myself," you manage to convey that the protagonist is an adopted girl living in a place where fighting is probably encouraged, but not for girls and not for adopted kids. Pretty good stuff.
I agreed with much (come to think of it, all) of Nathan's redline comments. Moments that stuck out to me the most were when Sinna manages to hurl/knock Ryoko to the floor (I too was trying to picture the actual event, and couldn't do it without going back and re-reading the first paragraph a couple of times), the sentence "He was readying for an attack," (which felt out of place to me, probably because of the POV or maybe because of the tense changes in the excerpt), and and the sentence "Frustration took over," (which is a POV change, but the first page feels too soon for a POV change). I loved that Sinna giggled when Ryoko landed on the ground, and like the tension between the two characters.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this, and think that it will only take some minor tweaks to make a big difference. Your writing is tight, which is something some of us take years to get right. Nice job!
Hey Josin,
It's actually hand-to-hand combat. I'm familiar with tae kwon do, which is where I'm drawing the techniques from. Obviously I need to be more clear on that.
What's great is that my WIP is still in first draft stage so this will be a great starting point for revisions.
I'm happy to be the guinea pig! :-)
I'm not sure that knowing it was Fantasy would have made much difference to me. I needed a few more details to orient myself to a place, though the dirt floor was distinct. I felt a little lost, but the interplay between the two characters engaged me right away.
Strong writing, but for a first person voice, I didn't get enough of a sense of this narrator to be sure I wanted to continue. Maybe focus longer on Ryoko to develop a deeper characterization of him (and hence the narrator) and use the action to hint at the relationship between the two....
I hate telling writers how to tell their story, so only a suggestion. Opening line should be:
"Lucky for him, girls weren’t allowed to fight, especially not an adoptee like myself."
That was really the only "hook" that drew me into the story and really made me want to read more. Why wait for half a page?
Michelle, I think your first 250 words work well, with a couple of exceptions. The names of your charachters are excellent. I would change He was readying for an attack to: He readied for the attack.
I actually thought the "I love you" comment was great because boys of every world know it is a huge distraction to girls. (Girls are a bit squishy where the heart is concerned.)
The falling scene could be changed just a bit to make it more readable. For instance: He stumbled, arms flailing backwards, hands slapping the ground to break his fall. Still his back felt the sting from over confidence and a hard landing.
Frustration took over immediately after giggling? Who was frustrated?
Great job.
Finished reading the excerpt and Nathan’s critique. Michelle, I like your crisp, clear writing style. It’s engaging and moves the excerpt along quickly. I agree with Nathan about the importance of grounding the reader in a bit more detail about the setting, in replacing some of the ordinary dialogue with more unique dialogue, and waiting to include lines of dialogue like "I love you" until the reader has a better sense of exactly what that means to the characters ... or maybe that line would work better if more details about the setting were supplied immediately after it. After using "I love you", "Why do you insist on torturing me, Sinna?" could be changed completely to something more unique. "I love you" and "Why do you insist on torturing me..." are used a lot in fiction, so a really unique reply to "I love you" could reveal a lot more about the character making the reply. In the movie, STAR WARS: EPISODE V – THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, after Princess Leia says, "I love you", the arrogant Han Solo says, "I know" – a line that so perfectly sums up his arrogance. In an interview, the filmmakers said that Han Solo kept trying to say the original script line, "I love you, too", but it never came out right. After many takes, he finally just said, "I know". The filmmakers realized immediately that that was the way Han Solo would really react, and it’s such a funny and unique line of dialogue.
Thanks, Michelle, for being the test case. I like the hint of a strong female lead in your sample.
This redline analysis is a great teaching tool, Nathan. Writers are so close to their own work that it's difficult for them to see where the world building falls short.
Enjoyed the lesson, and appreciate you sharing pointers on editing/revising.
Michelle - yes, if I knew it was fantasy, that would have made a difference in my reading. For one thing, I'm more patient with fantasy, because I know the author will be world-building.
Still, I really did want alittle more context. But that's me, for what it's worth.
Quick feedback: I knew the slapping the ground to absorb was fairly standard from watching a few martial arts sparing matches. However, there probably is a way to describe it better, maybe starting with something about the sound (it can be rather loud) and then an explanation of the slapping to absorb shock.
Nathan: thanks for this awesome new feature! Michelle: great page to start things off! You've got nice ingredients here: sexual tension, class struggle, and a kick-ass (literally) main character.
My constructive thought: make your verbs work for you. Right now you've got a fair number of passive phrases ("There it was," "reflexes were faster," "weren't allowed to fight," "was given some leeway," etc.). I realize that some of this passiveness adds to the mystery (e.g. we don't yet know who prevents girls from fighting). However, you write so much more vividly when you do use active verbs, like: "[h]is black hair flopped over his forehead." I really like that you've created immediate conflict, though, and I like your characters. Well done!
Again, thanks for the sample and the critique!
Holy crap, how'd I miss all this? Nathan, this is really wonderful. What a huge opportunity for someone. A great addition to your blog!
Michelle, good for you for getting yours in there first. I like how the writing is clear and clean. It moves right along and I think that is important. I will say, I didn't know what type of world I was in as I was reading. It almost had the feel of a contemporary book, two brothers kidding around, until I got to the unusual names. This might be my personal taste, but I like to find out a little more about a character before seeing them in an action scene right off the bat. Maybe for this reason the "I love you" gave me a jolt. I didn't know it was a boy and girl fighting until then.
I could tell you're personally familiar with martial arts. I think that familiarity, paradoxically, is what's causing some confusion.
You could use the term "backfist" instead of "backhand." That's more explicitly martial. As for Ryoko's back breakfall, I think the chronology in the sentence is tripping people up--his arms "slapped on the ground first," but that clause comes after the one about landing on his back, forcing the reader to revise her mental timeline of events.
Incidentally, does the ground-slap come first in tae kwon do? My experience with this technique is you slap the ground the moment your back comes into contact with it, which helps to disperse the force.
I'm following this scene fine, and can tell you know what you're talking about, but I think more specific details like Ryoko's hand posture, and how exactly slapping the ground will protect his back, will sharpen the image for those with less MA exposure.
Excellent suggestion on the new opening line, Stephen P.
“There it was. The twitch. He was readying for an attack. “
[[[It’s best to be as specific as possible as soon as possible so the reader knows who the characters are immediately. Otherwise, artificial tension is created by waiting to find out their names.]]]
“Backhand, probably, from the position of his arm. “
[[[This sentence sounds a bit clunky, and on the first read, it tripped me up. I would like something clearer, perhaps “Backhand, probably, judging by his arm’s positioning.” But even with that clarifying fix, we don’t get an idea of what “position” the arm is in.]]]
“He could easily swing it around to a forehand punch but my reflexes were faster, more finely tuned. I could block him with little effort, duck down and spin while kicking my leg out. He’d be on the ground in moments.”
”I wanted to grin, but I held back. I had him again.”
’“I love you,” he said. His sideways grin usually melted my insides, but not now.‘
[[You’ve already used the image of a “grin” twice. Be careful of repeating details, especially when they’re rather vague like grinning. This detail doesn’t distinguish either of the characters or necessarily gain interest from the reader.]]]
I refused to look at his face while I was sparring.
[[[On a logistical note, this should probably be “while we were sparring.”]]]
I couldn’t believe he’d think that would work on me.
[[[Again, the language here is vague. Try to use a thought that shows your reader who your narrator is. Use slang, use idioms, use her personal linguistic tics, use words that define who this narrator is and establish her voice. Anyone could say this sentence, now make it hers.]]]
My toes dug into the dirt floor.
[[[This is pretty good, you’re giving us a more specific image, although you could pick a more vivid verb than “dug” like “curled.”]]]
I wouldn’t lose my grip, not now.
Ryoko’s hand flew and the scene played out just as I thought it would. He fell to the floor, landing on his back and his arms jerked out to the sides, slapping on the ground first to protect his back from a hard landing.
[[[Work on the syntax of this sentence. Going from past tense “fell” to “landing” to “jerked” is pretty messy in itself, and following it with the qualifying chunk at the end is pretty confusing on a literal level. It’s hard to imagine the order and appearance of these actions taking place. Don’t be afraid to break this sentence up, but definitely rework it.]]]
I giggled, seeing his eyes close and tighten.
[[[I think just “tighten” would be more effective to the reader picturing this. I can’t imagine both closing and tightening of the eyes at the same time.]]]
Frustration took over.
[[[This sentence is unnecessary. It explicitly says his feelings, and the next few sentences do an effective job of detailing his frustration anyway.]]]
After all these years, he still had a hard time believing a girl could beat him.
Lucky for him, no one had ever seen.
[[[Using him at the end of the previous sentence and in this sentence sounds awkward, so just start this sentence with “Luckily.”]]]
Girls weren’t allowed to fight, especially not an adoptee like myself. Technically he wasn’t allowed to fight either, but since he was adopted by the arms master, he was given some leeway to assist with training.
[[Careful here, these few lines are bordering on info-dump. They are good at building tension and piquing the reader’s curiosity, but why is all of this seemingly important information spilled out here?]]]
“Why do you insist on torturing me, Sinna?” he asked.
[[[This is pretty clean, I like the dialogue.]]]
Very nice start. One minor comment: I was thrown by the name Ryoko. Here it refers to the name of the male character, but in Japan, I believe that it is a (popular) female name. Otherwise, keep up the good work.
I thought it was tennis at the start too - just needs rephrasing.
I really like the 'I love you' because it's unexpected and intriguing. Immediately I think I know quite a lot about the two characters and their relationship. The toes/dirt floor is good right there as it propels me into the sensation and tension of the fight.
I agree with Nathan's comments and the others' comments that it might help to insert a few key details to help the reader along. By the end of the page, I get that they are both adoptees, but she's a girl and isn't allowed to fight. I'm assuming it's a sci fi or fantasy scenario? I agree that backhand, swing etc sound like tennis. By the end of the para, I realized it wasn't tennis, but you might want to consider changing those words. You might also want to consider starting with a short paragraph to ground the reader before you get into the action and dialogue. Thanks for letting us read it! It sounds intriguing.
As a martial artist, I liked the opening right away... I've started a novel with a sparring scene before too, so you scored point with me!
That said, I agree with a lot of Nathan's comments. I would add:
When you said "and spin while kicking my leg out".
I don't think the "my leg out" part is necessary... 'kicking' implies that your leg goes out already.
Also, with the "his arms jerked out to the sides, slapping on the ground first to protect his back from a hard landing."
I know exactly what you're talking about and can picture it clearly in my mind, but I have a black belt in TKD, and not many other readers will.
That aside, the writing flowed smoothly. I certainly wasn't ready to stop reading!
Fun experiment, Nathan! I wonder: would you (as an agent) look at the first 250 words with such scrutiny if this were simply the first 5 pages included with a query? Or would this level of critique only come at the partial/full request stage, or maybe even only after you’d accepted the work/client for representation?
I’m sure the thoughts wander through your mind as you read even the partials, but I’m guessing some of the things noted wouldn’t necessarily keep you from reading more, etc.
(Before the masses beat me in the head, I realize this exercise is for the benefit of the writer and is not intended to be an example of your thought process for choosing something to represent. I was just curious, like the cat, but with fewer hairballs.)
As for the sample, I really enjoyed it. Unlike some of the other folks who’ve mentioned some confusion over the action, I followed right along. “There it was. The twitch. He was readying for an attack. Backhand, probably, from the position of his arm. He could easily swing it around to a forehand punch” I know my tennis is rusty, but I think McEnroe was the only one allowed to use a ‘forehand punch’ and still call it tennis. Seriously, that’s like three lines in, so I’m not sure why others thought this was speed curling or what not …
At any rate, a very solid opening that would (does … put that in your tense pipe and smoke it, Bransford! lol) have me wanting to read more.
Now this I like. The best way to learn is watching a pro edit. Great idea, Nathan.
And I like the story Michelle, and your guts to put it out there.
Thank you, Nathan. Very interesting and informative.
People seem to think that if the genre was known, the first paragraph wouldn't confuse. I don't know about the rest of you, but after I pay for a book and sit down with it, I'm pretty certain about the genre. Thanks SO much Michelle - I want to know when this one's published so I can read it. I'm curious.
Just to back up some of the other comments, Ryoko is a very common Japanese girl's name. There are a number of famous Ryokos as well, both real and fictional, including a 2-time Judo Olympic gold medalist. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryoko)
However, I'm fascinated that the author came up with the name independently for a guy.
As for the story, I don't know what this says about my gender bias, but when I was reading this for the first time and got to the "I love you", my first thought was, "Oh, could this be a gay couple? That could be interesting." And then I saw the name "Ryoko", which signaled a girl to me, and I completely stalled out, thinking I'd missed something. It took me a while to move on and come to the conclusion that it was meant to be a boy's name. So, for me, at least, a bit more on the characters earlier on would have been nice. Maybe have him drop her name in the "I love you" line or something?
Other than that, I thought it was a fun opening. I've practiced a bit of martial arts and I liked the details of the sparring. And the character details also painted a nice picture, once I got their genders figured out. ;)
Nathan this is BRILLIANT!!
Its great to see your perspective on others' work, I hope this becomes a regular thing??
Even from looking at just 250 words, i think we can all learn so much!!
I simply cannot get over how informative all of these posts have been. Thank you SO MUCH!
Boo - I got this email like 15 minutes ago (not counting load up time) and there's already 50+ comments. Satellite connection sucks sometimes.
Michelle, wonderful start.
Although the details are fuzzy in my mind, I thought the -ko ending represents a girl's name in Japan. But really, I don't know.
Your story sounds fun and action packed.
TCM
Michelle,
I wanted to add one more thing. I should have mentioned this earlier. Even though I critiqued your excerpt, I thought your writing was so good overall, I originally forgot that Nathan had mentioned he was critiquing the first excerpt posted. As I read your excerpt, I was originally wondering how many submissions Nathan had read before choosing one with such good writing. Kudos to you – for your talent and the courage to offer an excerpt for public critique!
Nathan - FYI, slapping the hands absorbs the impact - it works. For the entry, I would recommend backing off from the intimate view, just a bit. Rather than concentrating on twitches and toes, that is.
Ooooops, I made a mistake in my earlier critique. I read the excerpt too quickly this afternoon. I didn’t realize the same character said, "I love you" and "Why do you insist on torturing me, Sinna?" I’d still change the second line to make it more unique, but I understand now that it wasn’t a reply. :)
Nathan –I LOVE this addition to your blog! Do it again! Do it again!
Michelle – Thank you for your willingness to let us all learn from your story.
I liked how you got right into the action and was impressed with some of the descriptions you used. My fighting/sparring scenes seem to come out like a modified Old MacDonald’s song (with a punch-punch here and a punch-punch there) so kudos for your take on the scene. BTW – the ground slapping made sense to me. =)
I’m afraid I was thinking tennis when I first read the opening paragraph (backhand, forehand, position of his arm). Some others have given great suggestions on word choice that could address that issue. The “I love you” also threw me off. It seemed like a good distraction to Sinna but I wasn’t quite sure what type of distraction it was for her. I wish I had more information about the characters so I could know whether Ryoko was being flirty, mischievous, or just obnoxious.
I really was intrigued by the end of the passage. The idea of them being adoptees made me interested in finding out their stories and what happens to them. You also piqued my interest in their world that did not allow girls to fight.
Nathan- think this will be a great regular feature. Would it be possible to get a title and genre on future page critiques?
Michelle- Color me impressed. :) I thought this was strong. The martial arts were very clear to me, but I sit spectator to my son's akido classes twice a week.
There's nothing wrong with the dialogue, but I agree it would be stronger if it revealed more of Ryoko's individual character.
I'd also look at involving your main character in your first line. "There it is" tells me nothing, but something like "I was waiting for it" or "I watched for it" or even "I knew his tell" puts me in Sinna's head from the start.
Thanks for being the guinea pig, Michelle. It's a high bar to shoot for and I'd definitely like to read more.
This was good. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.
I am a total nobody.
A simple read-a-holic who for whatever reason enjoys Nathan's writing style so he holds court my list of the most random bloggs ever accumulated. I have zero professional advice to offer. What I do want to say is... I would so TOTALLY read this!! I just LOVED that she said "I Love You" right off the bat. I was thinking "What? Why?" and then you cut me off after 250 words. Grrr. I tend towards books with action, a strong female protagonist and it has to have some sort of romantic interest in it.- You nailed everyone before a toddler would have time to distract me. I typically can't stand the first book in a series much less the first hundered pages of world building, but you had me. I want to know more. I know you didn't offer it up for professional scrutiny to hear that it was perfect. You want refinement. I just figured it might also be nice to hear "kudos". I really enjoy your voice. Good luck!
This has been such an amazing experience for me today. Nathan Bransford hit gold with this idea.
I wonder if my printer will die when I try printing all of these out? I appreciate each and every comment and promise to bring them into consideration when I begin revision. I'm about halfway through writing the book as of today.
Michelle R - don't ever call yourself a nobody. All readers are awesome simply because they read.
Great exercise! I think most everything I wanted to say has been already, although I seemed to figure out the setting more quickly than others. ("Ryoko" made me think Japan (although I too was confused because it's a female name), which, combined with the descriptions of their actions, made me think they were sparring in hand-to-hand combat.)
I can't wait to see more of these!
Fantastic addition to the blog, Nathan. Can see this becoming like the radio contest, though, everybody waiting at their keyboards to be first to "ring" in with their page. Maybe pick random intervals between events, and then mix it up by calling for the 7th entry or the 3rd.
Michelle- I liked the writing and agree with everything that's been said.
I imagined hand to hand combat, I thought I must have missed something when I read the sword comment.
Thanks Nathan, this kind of post is most helpful
Excellent opening, Michelle. I disagree with Nathan and others regarding adding more details. In reading this first 250 words without a blurb or any other info we are in a unique position. No other reader (agent, publisher or critic) will have such a limited view of the story. So far, I feel ready to trust Michelle to reveal details in an order and at a pace of her choosing.
Like Josin, I first thought of tennis, but didn't mind when that turned out wrong. As for the tense inconsistencies Nathan flagged, there is indeed a variation in tense as Sinna goes back into her own internalizations at the time of the bout, but it still hangs together for me and I could not see a way to improve it. 'Readying for an attack' I took to mean readying TO attack rather than readying to defend against an attack. Unlike Ishta, I did not take 'Frustration took over.' as a change from Sinna's to Ryoko's point of view but as Sinna surmising Ryoko's frustration from her observations of him.
All told, thanks to Michelle and the others for the pages, and to Nathan and everyone for their critiques.
I just wanted to say that you're awesome for doing this. :)
That's it! I'm releasing my mutant, flying weremonkeys. That's 3 times I have missed a critique opportunity just because I live on the other side of the world. Grrr! Oh well, guess I'll have to stay up 'til the wee hours of the morning to grab my chance. But seriously, thanks for all the advice and entertainment you have provided, Nathan. And congrats to Michelle. Great stuff.
I read your work first, Michelle, and couldn't detect anything wrong, and was impressed with the flow and precision of the prose. Then I read Nathan's criticism and thought it very sensitive. I guess it would take the scene to a higher level if every detail was more sensitively attuned to the situation and personality of the characters. This is something that takes immense concentration, and I realise I haven't given my own work such a degree of focus.
Something to think about and aim for. But well done! I think you've got an intriguing story that has caught everyone's interest.
Ignore the tennis comments. You said attack, which calls to mind fighting of some sort much more than sports.
Congratulations to Michelle for snatching this golden opportunity! I found the writing quite engaging and some good promise for an interesting premise.
Being a sucker for a solid scene set up, I would have liked more of it right at the beginning of the novel. If the relationship between the two characters is to be the driving force of the action or the plot, there is an opportunity to develop this after 'The twitch' -- sounds like a code of sorts that might signify more than is pictured in the first lines. Perhaps 'the twitch' reminds Sinna of another encounter with Ryoko or of something (an event or a milestone) in her personal past. A few well thought out sentences inserted here could make the character of Sinna bloom for the reader.
I concur with Nathan's comments on the dialogue, it could be freshened up a bit. I'd also like to see more dialogue instead of being so much in her head -- this being a fighting scene, hence dynamic; Sinna ought to be engaging/taunting Ryoko with her mind as well as her body.
Some things that slowed down my reading experience a tad: 'melted my insides' -- if the writing targets a younger audience, it might work well enough, just reads cliche to me. 'Giggled' doesn't seem to fit in a fight scene with the participants expected to focus keenly on every aspect of themselves and their opponent. 'Ryoko's hand flew'-- maybe a better word for 'flew'? The transition from Sinna's giggling moment to a state of frustration seems a bit forced -- there should be something in between.
Overall a good read and definitely shinable with a bit more work.
Thanks for posting, and as always my hat off to Nathan for this very thoughtful and valuable experiment.
Fantastic blog. Keep on rockin, Radu Prisacaru – UK Internet Marketer & Web Developer
Great action opening,though I too first thought of tennis. Since it's fantasy, why not create a fantasy name for "Ryoko", rather than such an easily identifiable Japanese one?
Agree with Nathan's critique--and many of the others. Did have some confusion over changing POV, but not a major problem with a little re-write. I feel this is YA because of the reference to girls as opposed to women, yet phrases such as "after all these years" make me think the two are not so young(?) In any event, great beginning, Michelle, and many thanks.
Nice job, Michelle. Nathan made your good beginning even better.
The only thing I didn't agree with was the slapping of the ground. I don't do martial arts but I understood that part.
Yes, names that end in -ko are female in Japanese.
Great idea, Nathan. It will be fun to see this exercise often.
Nathan, thanks for this terrific, practical feature. And Michelle, best of luck to you.
This is great, Nathan. I just hope you will vary the times of day that you open these up, so that those of us in odd time zones might be able to have a shot at it.
Note that slapping on the ground is common in martial arts training. They say it's to use up momentum and make the fall less severe (it isn't - I'm a physicist and that's BS), but doing so makes it almost impossible to try to land on a joint like your hands (natural tendency when you fall to break it with hands) which can result in broken bones. Falling on elbows, hands, hips (in fact any joint) or the head is bad.
The slap ensures you land on a large surface area (your back) and is standard practice in sparring in all types of martial arts from judo to karate. Note that they are also trained to land on their back falling backwards or forwards.
I liked the scene, by the way.
Nathan - brilliant idea :)
Michelle - this is a great first draft. Tennis never entered my thoughts! I thought they were fighting from the outset, and picked up on the martial art movements.
I did have to do double-read on the first couple of lines. I thought it was third person at first and then realised it was first person, and had to re-read to put my head in the right character. But I reread a lot of published authors first paragraphs all the time!
I was uncomfortable with the word "readying" in the first para. And her giggling as well - it lent her an immaturity (for me) and I thought "laughed" would be a stronger word and indicate maturity.
Like lots of the ladies commenting, I liked the "I love you" - it's a female hook, lol!
With all the great comments above, you'll have a cracking first 250 words in no time *grin*
Again, I really liked your style and voice. It's my genre and I'd read on :)
Great new service, Nathan! But the sandwich method is so over-rated, who thought that up ;-)
On the first read, I liked this. On the second read, I picked up more nuances of the relationship between the characters and liked it more.
I like the use of fragments in the opening paragraph, it makes it terse and sets a good tone for the quick back and forth movements in a fight.
A couple points of note:
There's a mix of active and passive voice. When I read the first three lines, the repeated "was" made me leery that there would be too much passive voice; opening with it is daring, but the action in the story helps balance it out and you seem to use it with confidence and purpose.
Also in the opening few paragraphs, you use pronouns before the proper nous to which they refer...it/twitch, and he/him/Ryoko. It works here, but I would be curious to read more and make sure this is a well-placed break in the rules, done for voice and effect, and not a consistent tic in your writing.
Thanks Michelle for sharing your writing, good luck!
Really appreciate this. Now I'm getting some insight into what agents mean by "the writings not there yet."
I read it and saw little things, but then I read your redlined comments...and I'm like --Good Point.
Thanks Nathan for doing this. And thank you Michelle for sharing. :)
Looking forward to more.
I live in the GTA so I follow EST, but I'm a stay-at-home mom with scant (and irregular) time to check in during the day. My odds of ever being able to post for this are slim-to-none already, but if posts are at a regular time, I can at least plan ahead to be available and at the computer. If the time of posting is randomly switched around every time, those odds will get even smaller, and it will be a total crapshoot. I feel like my only option is the "wait at the computer, fingers and cut-and-paste at the ready, at the usual time" option; otherwise, I'll have to satisfy myself with learning from reading and giving critiques of other people's work. (Which is no small amount of learning, by the way!)
Another idea is for Nathan to randomly choose a commenter from the previous week, and let that person know in advance. Once you've been chosen to post, you can get struck off the list of potential posters, to make sure others get a chance.
What a great idea, Nathan. A very helpful exercise.
Wow, I was getting ready to cut and paste but I seem to be a day late! You are fast, people!
Michelle, thanks for posting. I liked the piece, it was easy to read, kept my attention and although I did re-read it, I wasn't lost in the details the first time around.
As far as feedback on editing, read your piece aloud and listen to how many sentences start with 'I'. It's easy to mix it up and still use first person POV. You could also just circle the word 'I' to see how much it's used.
Anywhere you have 'was ...ing', it becomes passive so put the action back in.
And my last one - another one I do a lot as well - adverbs. Circle all of the advers in your piece and make changes where you can. The less adverbs you use, the better.
I just read this (very short - huge font) book on self editing called The 10% Solution by Ken Rand. He has some great points and a list of words (and pieces of words like 'ly' for example)that you can reference when editing as well.
Thank you so much for submitting, it was intriguing.
Nathan, I like Isha's suggestion about choosing someone from the comments section weekly or however often you want to do this (I guess you do have your agent and author jobs as well) and letting them post. It's pretty normal that I won't get to reading these until the next day between kids and work.
Thank you for doing this Nathan, it is so very valuable.
I can tell this is going to be a great learning tool.
Michelle, you sucked me right in. Good work.
This is a personal pet peeve:
"He was readying for an attack" IS NOT PASSIVE VOICE.
"My reflexes were faster" IS NOT PASSIVE VOICE.
The first is past continuous tense (well, past tense, imperfective aspect), active voice. The second is simple past tense (preterit), active voice.
The passive voice is when the subject of the sentence/clause ("he" and "my reflexes" above) is in object position, and vice versa. ("He was readied for the attack by the sudden noise," for example, IS passive: "the sudden noise readied him for the attack" is the active version.)
"Girls weren't allowed to fight" and "He wasn't allowed to fight" *are* passive. The real subject of the sentence is whoever/whatever is doing the forbidding: The sensei didn't allow girls/him to fight. But here, that subject is in (omitted) object position.
Notice that was . . .ing is NOT passive and was . . .ed IS in this example.
Though simple past and "activizing" passive voice are often better than using past continuous and passive voice, both do have their uses. I find it very interesting that Nathan had no problem with any of the verb constructions (just tense matching and conceptual things).
(And Nathan: this week on the blog has been your best ever. Seriously. Even better than when I got to guest post ;)
Nathan / Michelle -
Regarding the male fighter hitting the ground on his back and breaking his fall with his arms, I knew exactly what he was doing, but that may be because I'm a black belt in TKD and I connected the dots.
I think "slapping" is the wrong term and may be what is throwing you off.
Maybe something like, ". . . his arms swung out from his body and hit the ground before his back could, breaking his fall." Or something like that.
I am intriqued by the opening. Thanks.
PROPS Michelle for putting it out there like that. I don't even let me husband read my stuff, so go girl.
I really like the way the scene doesn't feel overwritten/worked. You're writing is lean, a major plus.
I agree with Nathan that the dialogue sounds obvious and maybe even a tad melodramatic. I needed a little more lead in before the big declaration.
I love the idea of competition between love interests!
By: Nathan Bransford,
on 5/10/2010
Blog: Nathan Bransford (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
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Voice is one of the most difficult writing terms to define and pinpoint. We might know it when we see it, but what's voice made of, really? You hear so often that agents and editors want "new voices" and "compelling voices" and voice voice voice. So what is voice? How do you cultivate it? And how many rhetorical questions do you think can I fit into one post?
Voice, at its most basic level, is the sensibility with which an author writes. It's a perspective, an outlook on the world, a personality and style that is recognizable even out of context. You could drop randomly into a David Sedaris story or an Ernest Hemingway novel and probably guess the author within a few paragraphs because they have strong, unique voices. An author's voice is often imitated (think: Tolkien), but a truly original voice can never be duplicated.
So what makes a good voice? How do you cultivate one?
Among the essential elements:
Style: At its heart, voice is about style. And not just style in the sense of punctuation and how the prose looks on the page (though that can play a role), but style in the sense of a flow, a rhythm, a cadence to the writing, a vocabulary, lexicon, and slang the author is drawing upon. A voice can be wordy (William Faulkner) or it can be spare (Cormac McCarthy). It can be stylish and magical (Jeanette Winterson) or it can be wry and gritty (Elmore Leonard). It can be tied to unique locations (Toni Morrison) or it can be almost wholly invented (Anthony Burgess). But whatever the flavor of the writing, a good voice has a recognizable style.
Personality: A good voice has a personality of its own, even when the novel is written in third person. There's an outlook that is expressed in a voice. It's a unique way of seeing the world and choosing which details to focus on and highlight and a first draft of how the reader will process the reality of the book. Think of how CATCH-22 captured the absurdity of WW-II by boiling down irrational rules and presenting them at face value, or Stephen Colbert's TV character, always seeing things and arguing from an invented perspective. There's a tone to a good voice, whether it's magical (J.K. Rowling) or slightly sinister (Roald Dahl) or hyper-aware (John Green).
Consistency: A good voice is consistent throughout a novel. It may get darker or lighter or funnier or sadder, but it doesn't suddenly shift wildly from whimsical to GRUESOME MURDER. (Unless, of course, the voice is capable of it). A good voice is never lost when the plot shifts.
Moderation: Even the strongest voices don't over-do it. Voices are not made up of repeated verbal tics ("You know," "like," "so I mean," "I was all," etc.) but are much more nuanced than that. They are not transcribed real-life dialogue, they give the impression of a real-life voice while remaining a unique construct.
Transportation: A good voice envelops the reader within the world of a book. It puts us in a certain frame of mind and lets us see the world through someone else's perspective, and provides not just the details of that world but also gives a sense of the character of the world. Basically: see J.K. Rowling.
Originality
An excellent break down of voice. My voice broke years ago.
I think you know you've found your voice when you are no longer tempted to try someone else's - and that means a good voice is a confident one.
Some of my favourites... ooh so many! Ian Fleming, Alisdair Gray, Graham Greene, Laurie Lee, Jack Vance... All of them have a quality that makes you want to sit at their feet and just spend time with them.
A great example is Robert E. Howard. Read his Conan stories and then read de Camp, Jordan, and others later. You can see the similarities, but none managed to capture Howard's voice. Their stories were never as good as the originals.
Great summary of 'voice'. I've never been able to put it into words before.
My favorites? Suzanne Collins is one, James Patterson is another.
I think the authors with the best voices are those that keep running through your head even after you've put the book down. When you start thinking the way an author writes...they had a good voice.
A good voice? : Margaret Atwood. Her writing voice seems timeless.
How do you cultivate one? : I think this is hard without it becoming forced. It seems to have to be natural and sit behind the storyline, rather than be obvious and block it. If as I write I become too conscious of it, then the writing reads as if I'm trying too hard.
Is it born or made? Mostly born, I think, but then refined with experience.
Absolutely my favorite master of voice is David Mitchell ("Cloud Atlas," "Black Swan Green"). "Cloud Atlas" in particular is six amazing, distinct voices in one book.
As for cultivating a voice...the way I try to do it is to imagine the character whose voice is telling the story, even if it's just a disembodied narrator. Craft it just as you would a character in a story. If you aren't worried about varying your voice (and you shouldn't) then let your own personality come through. Don't be afraid of getting close to the story; imagine you're telling it to your spouse/children/friends.
Bloggers Heather Armstrong (Dooce) and Mimi Smartypants (real name?) have wonderful, comedic, entertaining voices. Nathan, too, of coursies.
For dark and inviting, I am taken with Gillian Flynn, a relatively new voice in sinister mystery (did I just invent a category?).
David Foster Wallace=wowza!
Ahh the infamous 'voice'. Can a 'voice' be created through editing? Or is it really one of those natural talents, like singing. Or using a lightsaber... I can't do either of those things but I'd like to think I have a 'voice' in my writing. But how do I know if I do?
Favourite voice: Dan Koontz because his writing sounds the same and also sound completely different with every book. I don't know how he does both at the same time.
Great breakdown, Nathan. It's very helpful.
I love when I read something and it draws me in effortlessly. I know that's when the author has a great voice.
I hope I have a decent one. People often say that like my style of writing. Since I don't aim for any particular style, I hope what they really mean is that my writing has voice. I hope my voice isn't off-key.
The problem I have is, I'm so close to my writing, I can't tell if I have a unique voice or not. It's plain old me using the words I always use when speaking or thinking in the real world. I suppose I need someone on the outside to tell me if what they see in my work is a unique and compelling voice...or not.
I love your explanation, Nathan. You've articulated it well. Thank you!
Great post, Nathan. In the past, I've worred about one protagonist's voice "carrying over" to the next novel. I try to shake myself up by thinking of as many differences between Protag A and Protag B as I possibly can.
This post is so timely for me because I've been thinking about voice all weekend. I recently reviewed a book (review isn't out yet) in which the voice changes from chapter to chapter depending on which character is the focus, and the voice is much stronger in some chapters than others. It made me wish the whole book was about the character focused on in those chapters.
I also think voice is just as important in memoirs as it is in fiction, but trickier because not everyone can distinguish between you the author, you the narrator, and you the character. I plan to blog about that tonight!
I'm still not 100% sure of what composes a voice (even with your fine breakdown, Nathan). I understand how some authors' voices are unique and identifiable, but I wonder, when reading about voice, whether I've found mine yet. How would I know if I've found it or not?
Instead of worrying about it, I just write without disregard and hope it's there.
j.r.-
I think voice is there when it's adjustable. Can you dial up or down certain elements? Can you hear it in your head? In other words, is it enough of an entity that you can think of it apart from the elements it's describing?
Spot on, Nathan. Some of my favorite voices are Dean Koonz, John Irving and Edith Wharton. In the romance genre I think Eloisa James and Mary Balogh have that signiture voice you talk about.
I am developing my own voice in my writing. I think that once a writer recognizes that they have one, they should keep it in the forefront of their writing and not let it dominate their creative process.
I think you've presented a beautiful way to think of voice. My writing voice is actually pretty distinguishable but it didn't happen right away. It developed over time and continues to develop as I learn and change.
A memorable voice tends to establish the tone of the story right away and stays consistent and engaging to the end.
Two favorite authors with trademark voices are John Irving and Michael Chabon. Their word choices, sentence structure, character types, and worldview leave distinct fingerprints on the page.
Another component of voice, IMO, is what the writer notices and chooses to bring to the reader's attention. Salinger makes us notice nail clippings, among other things.
A rare opportunity to break my recent pattern of being the last to comment, days after everyone else! Sensibility and style, yes. How prose looks on the page, definitely (I like white space). Personality, outlook, consistency (but not like porridge!).
Moderation, yes. Though rereading TREASURE ISLAND at the moment reminds me of the old proverb 'Moderation in all things, including moderation'. In other words there's a time and place to be immoderate.
I wonder what other modern readers think of Stevenson's continual use of never-explained nautical terms and phrases that were mostly archaic even when he wrote the novel over a century ago. Then there's Long John Silver's dialogue! Tailor-made for Robert Newton to speak, or slur, in the 1950 Disney movie.
Transportation, sometimes very literally, to a very far place and time. Originality and authenticity. I've never noticed a strong influence from any particular writer, though I like the short named and numbered chapters of Arthur C. Clarke and Michael Crichton's clipped and often unattributed dialogue, which does avoid looking like transcribed real life talk or a screenplay.
And yet, after all the above, some say the best voice is invisible and undetectable, at least consciously!
great post.
i always have troubled getting Vonnegut's voice out of my writing when I've been reading him recently.
i'm just starting to see the hints of my own voice coming through, after quite a bit of writing. it's exciting.
What a timely post! I was thinking about voice all morning.
As for my own voice, I just don't know. I know it's there in my personal writing and my blogging - in other words, when I'm just being "me" - but as for my manuscripts, it feels different (radically so!) from project to project. Is this a bad thing?
This is one of the most thorough posts I've seen on voice. Thank you!
This post and comments have given me many authors to add to my reading list. I think the best of classic literature has this quality too: Jane Eyre, Jude the Obscure, and (as much as I freaking hate this book) Moby Dick. My favorite modern example would have to be Audrey Niffenegger's Time Traveler's Wife (not the movie).
And I second the call for an excerpt of Jacob Wonderbar!
Great post Nathan! I have tried to find satisfactory explanations on voice, but most of them are murky at best. You did such a good job of breaking it down.
For me, voice is the “voice” I hear in my head while I am writing, which refers back to what you refer to as style. It conveys the tone of voice, cadence, and rhythm of my writing. I think your personality comes out the strongest in your word choice. Like how I naturally chose to use “satisfactory” to describe explanations up there, instead of “good” or “detailed”. There are a lot of words in written language, and each word you chose shows your personality. Word choice is also a good way to distinguish one character from another.
I think your voice comes out when you’re not trying to write in any way other than to get the story out.
The greatest single piece of advice I've ever had was this(from a reader not a writer, reading a first draft of my first book). 'It doesn't sound like you.'
Once I relaxed and stopped trying to be a 'writer', it all came together.
Just let yourself shine through.
Thank you Nathan , this is the post I've always wanted but didn't have the " voice " to express the need . I can now talk ! WWwwweeeeeeeeeee!!!
Some voices that have impressed me recently: Alan Paton's Cry the Beloved Country (not a recent book, of course, just one I read recently) and Sonia Hartnett, Thursday's Child. I picked up the latter at a bookstore because I was looking for books with great opening lines (which would make an interesting blogpost in itself--it was very enlightening to just read scores of first lines...)-- Hartnett's was the only first line that was so striking that I HAD to read the whole book, and indeed that voice carried through from first line to last.
Can't remember which but a famous writer said that she does not read novels when she's working on a WIP so that she doesn't emulate the voice subconsciously.
Nathan, that is true I find that was the easiest part for me, right away I knew what my main protagonist would sound like especially since I finalized her characteristics, she is witty, weird the way she thinks and the reader reads all her inner sarcastic remarks that she would dare never say out loud. In addition I am somewhat like that so when I read it I sometimes ...okay all the time burst out laughing. You are the uber agent I dont know if that is how uber is spelled but thats the way I am writing it.=D
First time posting! Thank you, Nathan, for your perspective, information, and humor!
I've been thinking about voice a lot so I thought I'd comment and ask more questions. I understand the idea of a writer's voice and I think I know the general tone or sensibility of my own. What I wish I could get more clarity on is how this voice changes depending on whether you are writing in 1st or 3rd person and depending on what character's perspective you are writing from, if any. In my current novel, most of the writing is in 3rd person, from the perspective of one character, but there are also sections in 1st person from another character and letters from yet other characters. Should my writer's voice be absent in these 1st person sections since I am solely in the character's voice? That's my intention, but I'm not sure it's successful. I guess what I'm asking is how to separate writer's voice from character's voice?
Thanks, Ink! Love that comment about "Authority" so much I cut it straight into the post.
I normally hate comments that just say, "Wow! Great post!"
But... Wow! Great post!
I hope to find time to read the comments tonight.
You hit the nail on the head with that final point. I still surprise myself with how many different styles I can write, and still remain true to the character's unique voice, while at the same time seeing myself in all of them. It's an amazing, beautiful, and vastly unexplainable thing. I know I've found a new character's individual voice when I can hear them saying the words in my head, and it sounds like an actual person, and different from the MC of my last novel, even if it happens to be the same genre. Like I said, hard to explain, but it's there.
Great post! I copied this to keep in my "workshop notes" folder.
I do love your references to Tolkien - now. LOL!
Most of my favorites are from the past, like Edith Wharton, as someone mentioned.
But a current author, Lisa Genova, pulled off what I think is the most difficult "voice" of all - that of someone going thru Alzheimer's in "Still Alice." A remarkable feat.
The best analysis of voice I've seen. My favorite is Ray Bradbury.
Nathan,
No prob - I aim to please. :) Actually, I'm reading an example of that authority right now, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. It's a strange story, told from different points of view in different styles... and yet there's command in that shifting voice, something unified and powerful.
I always thought Neil Gaiman had a subtle voice. Then I was doing something in a room where a movie was playing and I recognised his voice in the dialogue of the characters and realised he did have a powerful voice. He's one of my favourites. Michael Swanwick is another, punchy, gritty, precise, and he captures the flavour of Russian science fiction somehow. I love that. No wonder he is such a hit in Russia.
Oh, one last thought on authority - I think it's a key element when we come to something new, when we decide to keep reading or not. It's like in the query/pages experiment we just had, I think readers could often sense that authority. And they could sense when the writing was pretty good but not quite there... and that not quite there is that lacking authority, that sense that they can't quite force you to believe. You can't quite see past the words on the page yet.
I think my aha moment for finding my own voice came when I realized that I was telling a story, not just a sequence of events.
I would have to say that some of my favorite voices out there are in works by C.S. Lewis, Mark Twain, and Terry Goodkind. Though they are all exceedingly different from each other, they immerse the reader so completely in the story that it's hard to distinguish reality from fiction anymore.
This is an excellent post on voice. I'm glad to see an industry insider blogging about the actual mechanics of good writing instead of sales and self-promotion.
But I have a question for you: What happens when the author has a strong, established voice and, instead of writing in third person, s/he begins to write in first. How do you compromise between a character's voice and that of the writer? Because sometimes, I feel I'm dueling with the narrative--would this character really use those words? Etc. Or am I thinking too much about this?
Thoughts?
I love Ink's comment about confidence and authority being the central elements of voice.
I wasn't sure why my recent foray into craft improvement resulted in a more defined voice, but there it is: more control, more mastery of the language and the storytelling, more voice. Because they are one and the same.
Yes, Ink--confidence and authority. Exactly.
I always wonder about authors who use several pen names, and whether or not they have different voices for each pen name.
It may very well just be me, but I think sometimes "voice" can backfire, depending on how different (or not) the plots of any one author's novels are.
For instance, I think John Grisham has a great, recognizable voice but I've only read three books of his, because the plots are so similar -- young, eager bright-eyed attorney up against corrupt system/opposing counsel -- that when you combine that same-ness of voice to the same-ness of plot, I feel I'm reading the same book over and over.
Whereas I never feel that way with someone like Chabon, because his books subjects and plot are very dissimilar, and the although his voice is still a standout, the needs of the books' diverse characters and plots make it feel much fresher.
"It was, of course, a miserable childhood: the happy childhood is hardly worth your while." Was, Frank McCourt successfully used the passive voice to give the reader a sense of who he is, his tone, his world view, and why you want to read his story. He not only successfully used the passive voice, he used it to create the hook for his memoir, Angela's Ashes. That is the gift of a true story teller.
Have Vonnegut and Twain really only been mentioned once a piece so far? I just puked in my mouth a little.
What a great post and I've enjoyed reading all the comments. I kind of came in through the side door as far as writing as I started out as a fine artist and I was lucky to find my art "voice" right off the bat. I felt the same way when I began writing picture books in the (gasp!) early 1990's.
Back then my writing voice was reviewed negatively as being "sparse". Now my pared-down style is in vogue.
Not complaining - just saying.
Great post.
Using the same word more than once on a page interferes with voice. Unless intentionally done for style.
Even my choices of: he said, said Michael (or forgoing the tag altogether)impact rhythm and can make or break a scene.
Seamless prose is my goal.
Nathan, you are the man for sure,
however, you can no more "teach" voice than you can teach soul ... if you are tone deaf, it's one of nature's little jokes on you.
Voice is simply the muse, from the muse comes music and poetry and your voice follows ... be it harsh horror or soft prose ... no one can "teach" this part of our craft dear Nathan. It is one of the little gifts we come in with.
Nathan, you outdid yourself. With clarity and precision, as if you were talking directly to me, you gathered all the components of VOICE and delivered it to me succinctly.
Thanks.
This post has voice. One of the best treatises I've read on the subject, too.
I'd like to add Balance to the list.
Balance: A writer with strong voice knows the rules and when to break them. Read the greats and you will find adverbs, passive voice, telling instead of showing, and instances of all the other inviolable rules. They are there, they are used. The balance is to use but not abuse; to break rules with purpose.
WORD VERIFICATION: morip. 1) An additional copy of digital media, e.g. a CD, that has been burned illegally. 2) An extended afterlife.
Ink: "Call me Ishmael." YES! I LOVED that book! I loaned it to everybody I knew when I had finished reading it.
What you said about authority really resonates with me. I think some of my issues with voice stem from the simple fact that I have not yet reached that stage as a writer in which I can step back from my own work enough to see whether it is "there" or "not quite there" - whether I've made you believe my story, or not quite. I still need my critique group for that. (Do we ever get past that stage of needing a critique group for that?)
Thanks again for this great post, and for the enlightening and stimulating discussion. I'm inspired to write tonight.
Terrific post and discussion! My favorite masters of voice: Alice Hoffman and Daniel Pinkwater. Few similarities in their writing, but both of them nail the voice so well, all you can do is nod your head at the rightness of it.
A quality of voice I include, taking a firm position, related somewhat to Ink's authority quality. A powerful voice takes a stand, makes a credible point, and substantiates it creatively. The stand taken makes a meaningful statement with a thematically potent message.
This was great! Thanks for this Nathan!!!
I'm still working on figuring out my voice, but if I ever needed a reminder of why it's important, I found it after reading Where The Truth Lies. One of the best *voice* lessons I've ever had.
Such a great explanation for something that is very difficult to explain. I especially like this part under Authenticity: "And this is the key to finding the voice: your voice is in you. It's not you per se, but it's made up of bits and pieces of you. It may be the expression of your sense of humor or your whimsy or your cynicism or frustration or hopes or honesty, distilled down or dialed up into a voice. We should never make the mistake as readers of equating an author with their voice, but they're wrapped up together in a complicated and real way."
I also love Ink’s comment: "For me, one of the absolutely key elements of voice is authority. With a great voice you know the writer is in control, so in control that the writer vanishes and you see only the story. A great voice carries you through the story, compells you through the story."
Voice is what distinguishes one writer from another, and authority allows fictional stories to ring true.
Enjoyed this post very much, but have little to add to it. My favorite voices are Ernest Hemingway, Franz Kafka and Jack Kerouac.
I feel that my own voice comes through better when I'm unaware of it.
Argh! So I finished typing my comment and apparently it didn't post.....
I love your explanation of voice, Nathan. I've been thinking about the subject for the last two weeks or so.
I tend to indulge myself in thinking my voice is somewhat distinctive, but when I'm dealing with multiple characters, I forget to nuance for each character. On the re-reads, they all sound too much alike. (One of the reasons I write so much first-person poetry!)
So, I'm half-way there. But the writer's journey never ends, so I won't complain.
P.S. My favorite voices are Joseph Heller (the comedic), Ayn Rand (the philosophical), and Billy Collins (the candid).
Most excellent post. One of my favorite children's Lit voices is E. Nesbit (The Five Children and It, etc)I love a voice with warm good humor that does not talk down to children.
My fellow critique group member Lupe Fernandez is developing a truly funny readable voice on our mutual blog Pen and Ink. Here is one of his posts http://thepenandinkblog.blogspot.com/2010/05/customer-support.html
I can think of one girl's book where the voice stands out so much and she really sounds like she is telling the story to a friend. She is so engaging. I can't wait for her next book.
If a writer cannot find his/her voice and grasp it firmly, there is nothing to keep me interested. The authors who've captivated me are:
Stephen King- His earlier works. He is fabulous at invoking a sense of innocence, wonder and growth when children are his characters, and has perfected their"voices".
I also loved the cadence of George R.R. Martin in the "song of ice and fire" series.
Robin Hobb, Tim Dorsey, Marrion Zimmer Bradley...the list goes on, (and is long) but they are all very different voices, liked for very different reasons.
I think there just needs to be a natural ebb and flow to a character that gives the reader the feeling that this could be someone they admire/would hang out with/are scared of, etc. In essence, the voice comes across as REAL. If you can capture that, you will find a rapt audience begging for more.
I agree with the part about overuse of everyday language. My 5th and 6th grade students like to write stories with, "I'm all" this and "He's all" that and so on. They might talk like that in real life, but in a story it's just plain impossible to slog through.
Or maybe the reality is just at this very minute hitting me that these kids have NOTHING to talk about except a bunch of "totally," "SO not!", "Tru Dat," "Fo shiz" etc. That's their whold day's speech! ARGHHH! Oh no!
This must be one of your all time top ten posts Nathan, thank you for this!
I believe 'voice' is where most writers-to-be fail. We tend to get muddled in technique and plot and all the other basic elements of writing, and in the process manage to 'lose control' of the flow of writing, burying the 'voice'. I believe that understanding the importance of 'voice' is the key to compelling writing.
From my experience, it takes a lot of practice to identify and take charge of one's 'voice'. Lots of rewriting, reshuffling of the scenes and viewing the characters from a different perspective. I am quite pleased to have 'found' mine recently. Whether it's a voice that might be appreciated by others, remains to be seen, but it's good to know that it has 'arrived'.
The one voice I am currently obsessed with is Cormac McCarthy's. I worship The Road.
My all time favorite voice has got to be that of the late Robert A. Heinlein. As an aspiring novelist, I don't precisely try to imitate Heinlein, but his voice certainly informs my development of my own voice.
Recently, I've been going to the librar yand reading all of the Spenser novels from the late Robert Parker - a writer I only heard of when he recently passed away. OMG does that man have a voice!
-Steve
I'm still in the process of finding my voice. Your article as quite informative and helpful. Thank you.
I think Ink has quite the voice. I recognise Ink's individual tone on every blog we happen to hit together...
Which brings me to my next point. When it comes to voice, I always describe it thusly; if you can give a piece of writing to someone without telling them who wrote it, and they can identify the author, then that is voice shining through.
Fantastic post, Nathan! Contagious, yes. How many times have a started the day sounding an awful lot like Willa Cather or Stephen King or whatever I'm reading at the time? (And those two are pretty hard to reconcile!)
Totally awesome post Nathan. Will definitely post on Inkwell.ning.com. I love how you organized your thoughts and presented them clearly. Have a super day....
One word: WOW!
Fabulous post! A compelling voice is one of the most important things for me as a reader – maybe the most important – and I take every available opportunity to work on my own as a writer.
I'm revising my novel, sure, but I also get creative at work with writing business newsletters and copy for catalogs and product packaging. I'm able to fall pretty easily into a sales voice, an editorial voice and a storytelling voice.
The first thing I look for is whether or not a voice rings true; overly self-conscious intellectualization or affectation will turn me off.
As always, a great and informative article. I've struggled with voice in the past, and sometimes still do. This was a very enlightening breakdown. Thank you!
I think voice is like peeling an onion. It's not so much something you create as something you just uncover and allow to "be."
I think a lot of "finding one's voice" is really more about blocking out everybody else's voice and stopping trying to sound like anybody but you.
Voice is how you uniquely express yourself. If you're "trying" to create voice, you're trying to be somebody besides yourself.
Being you should be something that comes naturally to you. Your voice should be something that comes naturally too. It may not feel natural if you've spent a lot of time trying to be someone else or write like someone else.
You may think that "being someone else" would be "more marketable" but it will lack authenticity. You can't be JK Rowling. That position is already taken by JK Rowling, etc. But you can be you. And that's probably just as cool. (Though statistically speaking probably won't make you as much money, but meh.)
So, so happy for this post because this is what I'm working on now: finding my voice. I'm trying on different skins.
Voice, to me, as I'm understanding it at this point in my learning process, and of which you conveyed so well here, is the tone and the personality and the flow of the words. A voice can be urgent, it can be kind, it can be spare, it can be dense, it can be harsh, it can be sarcastic, it can be chatty, it can be sincere, it can be lovable, it can be innocent, it can be jaded, it can be...anything. But it has to feel real. AND IT HAS TO BE YOURS.
The voice is a way to connect with the reader. It's a way to pull him in, wrap your hands around his shoulder, pat him on the back, and say, "Relax. I've got you. Sit back. Drink a cup of tea. I'm going to pull you in but you're going to be just fine..."
Man, I'm so struggling with this right now...
This was a great piece. Thank you. It really helped me figure out where I need to concentrate on developing my own voice. My most recent favorite is Sara Gruen. Of course, my all time favorite is JK Rowling.
Ahhh. I'd just about convinced myself that voice can't really come through if I'm writing a plot-driven novel. I thought it was only in character-driven novels that it made a difference. I assumed genre dictated style (quick paced, short, direct sentences = thriller), and that I chillax re: voice. Guess not.
Jim Butcher's Dresden Files books are some of the best examples of voice in the business. While much of his technique has grown and developed over the years, Jim's voice has been from the beginning strong, authoritative, and consistent.
I found my voice and its still changing, because I change all the time.
this was a great technical breakdown of 'voice' in writing, its still a bit hard to pin down but you'll know it when you read it
Great post, however I don't think voice is something a writer should be prescriptive about. I think it's something that develops naturally as you develop as a writer. Voice is like human personality. Every writer has one, sometimes it's just covered by immaturity, insecurity, or lies.
Clarity, honesty, and confidence are what I think bring out a strong voice. And like a personality, if you try too hard or think about it too much, you just come off as phony and sometimes annoying.
Favorites when it comes to voice are Shannon Hale, Sharon Creech, M.T. Anderson, J.K. Rowling, and Roald Dahl. But they got everything else going for them too, and that's why I think they have such unique voices.
Amazing post! There's a lot to think about here. Now? To keep my focus and trudge forward in the voice I've always felt I owned. :-)
Like Steve, my favorite is Robert Heinlein. I read "Have Spacesuit, Will Travel" when I was about ten and never looked back.
My trouble is that my critique group often says my writing sounds too much like Chuck. Isn't it supposed to? Oh well, I don't worry too much about it and just keep on writing.
Great Post!
WV: sucto ????
There's that term "hyper-aware" again. I assumed it was a negative, but now it seems that's not always the case. Maybe my confusion stems from not even being sure what the term means.
I recognize a voice at play in your blog posts, Nathan. Nicely done and surprisingly complex, although it reads as if it is simply natural expression.
The best of voice is sometimes when you don't as a reader seem to notice it at all. Only a confident and highly skilled magic pulls that off in fiction.
Fabulous insight on author's voice. I like the thought of opening up a book randomly and simply recognizing the author through his or her voice. Makes me think of my own writing. I will pay special attention to voice from now on. Thanks!
I like this post, and your analysis of voice. It's hard to capture and I think you did a really good job breaking it down - thank you.
I also like Ink's addition - authority, very true! - and many of the commentors said great stuff - I like what Rick D had to say, and what Lisa said:
"The voice is a way to connect with the reader. It's a way to pull him in, wrap your hands around his shoulder, pat him on the back, and say, "Relax. I've got you. Sit back. Drink a cup of tea. I'm going to pull you in but you're going to be just fine..."
That's really nice.
For me, finding my voice was very much like learning to ride a bicycle. When I was a kid learning to ride, I got worried I'd never figure it out. Then one day, it clicked. 'Okay, this is the way to balance so it stays upright.' Voice for me was like that - it clicked. 'Okay, this is where I come through most clearly. This rings true.'
So, I think the best way for someone to find their voice, if they haven't, is to just keep writing. It will emerge evenutally. Just be patient.
I'm not sure, but it may also help to get to know yourself. The more you are in touch with who you are, I think the more easily your voice can flow out.
If you want a perfect example of 'voice'...listen to a voice!
Watch/listen to Hugh Laurie on 'House' and then watch him on a talk show...he comes across as an entirely different person...as if he carries a piece of America inside him, rather than 'affect it' like an accent (which of course it is).
The 'voice' of the House character...his authority, his personality, his 'being', is carried perfectly in his physical voice.
My answer would be Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Isabel Allende. There may be something about the translations, but their voices are distinct and influence my own writing.
My real voice comes through on my blog. So when my voice isn't strong enough in my book -- or I start writing too formally (since I'm a journalist by training), I remind myself to write like I would on my blog. Casual, cool. Very me.
Wow, this is probably one of my favorite blog posts ever. You give many great examples of authors who have voice and the elements of voice you give are right on the money.
I am still a young writer and have only found my true voice a few times. It's difficult to be my own voice while I write because many a time I just end up sounding like a certain writer after I've read his or her book(s). But there are times when I have a lightbulb idea go off for a WIP and begin to write, write, write. Afterwards I feel so thrilled at what I've got down that I barely even realize that what I wrote was in my voice.
It takes a lot to find your own voice in writing, but it's worth it in the end because in a way it's like finding a part of yourself.
~TRA
http://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com
Wow, this is probably one of my favorite blog posts ever. You give many great examples of authors who have voice and the elements of voice you give are right on the money.
I am still a young writer and have only found my true voice a few times. It's difficult to be my own voice while I write because many a time I just end up sounding like a certain writer after I've read his or her book(s). But there are times when I have a lightbulb idea go off for a WIP and begin to write, write, write. Afterwards I feel so thrilled at what I've got down that I barely even realize that what I wrote was in my voice.
It takes a lot to find your own voice in writing, but it's worth it in the end because in a way it's like finding a part of yourself.
~TRA
http://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com
Wow, what a great post. A great voice draws you in and never lets you go until the very last page. Great storytellers have that magical rhythm and style that leaves you wanting more.
My favourite voices are David Mitchell, Paul Coelho and Haruki Murakami.
Thanks for breaking it down. My favorite voice? Jodi Picoult.
This is something I've struggled with, but now I think that anyone can find their voice. The more you write - anything, not just Your Big Project - the closer you get to your own voice.
Lately, I've been finding that I'm less likely to start writing like someone else inadvertently when I'm reading them. Plis, on my blog and later drafts of my novel, I'm starting to have a certain way of speaking - or perhaps a voice. It's me, but not just me. I was delighted when one of my first-readers that knows me well said they found "Jess-isms" in my novel. I have Jess-isms!
Keep up the good work! I invite you to see my post, I hope you will find interesting too.
Great post with well thought out elements! Voice is elusive. I think over time, it becomes crafted.
There are many, many, many great voices out there in literature. Dickens, Twain, Bryson, Steinbeck... I could go on, and on, and on. It took me forever to think through them all and weigh them, but what it comes down to is that my favorite voice belongs to Garrison Keillor.
When I first began writing about three years ago, the author that would not leave my head was Zoe Heller. Her voice is very witty and cynically intelligent, typical of a lot of British authors who also use high-falutin vocabulary.
But after a couple more years of struggle, I discovered my own voice, and this happened through patience. I'm only a senior in high school and I've never taken a creative writing class, so I'm 100% self-taught. Cultivating your own voice is very possible. All you have to do is simply let it show up of its own volition, instead of forcing it out of you. I tried that, and what did I find? Zoe Heller, creeping up on my screen like a mosquito.
I REALLY enjoyed this post!! Very helpful! :)
You argued that writing voices are born and that experience primarily refines them. I would say they're more nature THAN nurture, but the latter does more than refine. Consider a few examples:
Ian McEwan
Upon graduating, he enrolled in a master’s program in comparative literature, at the University of East Anglia, which allowed him to submit stories as part of his degree. From the beginning, his prose had an unnerving discipline. Descriptions were precise; there was no failed wordplay or tortured metaphors; sentences had a razored gleam. (“I saw my first corpse on Thursday,” one story began. “Today it was Sunday and there was nothing to do.”) In “Mother Tongue,” McEwan explains that his surgical prose was, in part, a product of class anxiety. He composed words “without a pen in my hand, framing a sentence in my mind, often losing the beginning as I reached the end, and only when the thing was secure and complete would I set it down. I would stare at it suspiciously. Did it really say what I meant? Did it contain an error or an ambiguity that I could not see? Was it making a fool of me?”
Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/02/23/090223fa_fact_zalewski#ixzz0nt3loN3z
Would his style be the same if he came out of the background Martin Amis did?
Kazuo Ishiguro is often said to be a very English writer. Would he truly have the same voice if his family never migrated to England from Japan.
Junot Diaz talked about how hard it was to fit in a kid being an immigrant, and some argue there's a forcefulness to his writing. Would it be the same if he never came to the United States?
Would Tolstoy be the same if he was a factory worker in Manchester as opposed to somewhat upper classish in Russia?
Underlying abilities and dispositions strongly influence voice, but experiences do too.
Great advice, thank you.
By: Nathan Bransford,
on 5/7/2010
Blog: Nathan Bransford (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: This Week in Publishing, Add a tag
hTsi ekeW nI hngPsblui embrdSacl
First up, some great causes in the publishing-o-sphere. Brenda Novak's annual Diabetes Research Auction is in full effect, and I'm donating a partial critique with follow-up phone call. There are lots of other great prizes, including a partial critique from Kristin Nelson, a query/proposal evaluation plus conversation with Jessica Faust, and much much more. Also, authors Victoria Schwab, Amanda Morgan, and Myra McEntire are hosting an auction to benefit Nashville, so check that out as well.
Longtime reader/commenter and maven of the Public Query Slushpile Rick Daley is soliciting submissions for a cool experiment. He posted a prompt and is asking people to submit a query and first five pages based on the prompt. The questions under exam: is it really harder to write a query than the pages? How different will the resulting pages be? Can't wait to see the result.
Some big news afoot as Google looks set to enter the e-book sphere very soon as they will start selling e-books under the banner Google Editions. Details (and pricing) are still being worked out, but it looks as if they'll use a device agnostic cloud model, where you can access books from any device, sync up when you move from one device to another, etc. etc.
Word nerds rejoice!! The Historical Thesaurus of the Oxford English Dictionary has been released, which has apparently been forty-four years in the making. Costing $422.75 and coming WITH AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL, the Historical Thesaurus is indispensable for tracking the history of the English language and when words entered the lexicon. If that's the kind of thing you like to do for fun.
Meanwhile, in our coming e-book era VQR notes one of the things we might lose along the way: intriguing notes and inscriptions.
The Rejectionist has a hilarious day-in-the-life of a Rejectionist post, and if you want more Le R. head over to Tahereh's blog for a hilarious interview.
In agent advice news, Mary Kole would like you to make sure you know the rules of your category before you break them, Roseanne Wells has some great advice on papering over plot holes with dragons (or any out of left field plot contrivance), and Agency Gatekeeper has some great dos and don'ts when it comes to
39 Comments on This Week in Publishing, last added: 5/10/2010
**Mary Kole!!
:)
Whoops! Thanks, Kara. Brain freeze.
Gah! Not scrambling! It's hard enough to read black on white with the words straightened out. My brain thought it went dyslexic!
Mean agent. Mean, mean agent!
Nathan, this has nothing to do with today's post, but you so often post on Kindle and other e-readers, that I thought you would get a kick out of this very tongue-in-cheek blogpost from feministmormonhousewives.
Check this out:
http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=3088#more-3088
(Sorry I can't link in a comment.)
Wow you're hauling in some serious ca$h for the partial critique! It's for a great cause. Is there a tax write off in there? Because if there is I'm mighty tempted to bid. Have a great weekend!
Wow, I NEED that thesaurus!
Oh, man, I WANT that thesaurus! Somebody let me know when the price drops to a range affordable to mere mortals. Groan....
Thanks Nathan. I'm curious to see the results, too, and eager to discuss them.
I know there are many talented writers reading this blog, I hope some of you can find the time to prepare a submission by May 28th...
Thanks for posting the Star Wars Lego movie! That was freaking awesome!
The Star Wars lego in two minutes. Hmmm. Is that a synopsis?
I enjoyed the VQR piece. I hadn't though about it this way.
Can't go wrong with Lego Star Wars.
Lego Star Wars Trilogy in Two Minutes...now I know exactly how to write a query that'll blow yr socks off!
Wow. Star Wars and Lego. Two of the very coolest things from my childhood.
AWE-SOME.
Thanks Nathan, you rock hard like igneous.
Gotta love Lego!
Oh man, I'd love to have that thesaurus. And yes, I love to look up that sort of stuff for fun.
But not for over $400. Sigh.
!!!!!
yayyyy thank you for the linkage!!
Le R is AMAZING!!
:D :D
Oh man! Screw the iPad I'm saving for - I want that Thesaurus!!1!eleven!!
LEGO Star Wars - what can I say? The perfect verbal synopsis! Lol.
How about Star Wars in 30 seconds...with bunnies?
http://www.angryalien.com/1205/starwarsbuns.asp
Enjoy!
The LEGO Star Wars movie rocked! I'm showing it to my 6-yo Star Wars obsessed son tomorrow. Happy Friday!
My WIP just happens to be a three part SF/Fantasy series. I never thought I'd learn something about synopsizing from Lego! Regarding the $422.75 Thesaurus, I'm waiting for the $2 E-book version...
Loved the Lego Star Wars video, Nathan. The storyline hit all the high points, but the characters seemed a bit flat.
Rick Daley: Good Luck in your experiment.
Looking forward to reading the links. Loved that STAR WARS video, especially since it involved STAR WARS Legos which made it extra awesome in my opinion. :)
There's something super creepy about seeing lego Leia wearing that outfit in Jabba the Hutt's lair.
So I'm totally a Trekkie (lol) but I loved that Star Wars vid!
Right! Random House were/are the BAD guys regarding E-books in the Rosetta case, but are now/also the GOOD guys regarding E-books and Amazon. Google were/are the BAD guys regarding E-books in the Google Book Settlement, but are now/also the GOOD guys regarding Google Editions E-books. Apple were/are the GOOD guys regarding the I-Pad book store, but are now/also the BAD guys regarding censoring E-books.
I miss the Cold War. It was simpler.
A Day in the Life of the Rejectionist? Great! Particularly when she asks that age-old question:- 'WHY HAS NO ONE MADE MY COFFEE!?' I ask it all the time, AND NEVER GET AN ANSWER!
And Roseanne Welles is wrong. Adding dragons ALWAYS helps! I never read a book that couldn't be helped by dragons, or MORE dragons if it already has some. JACOB WONDERBAR AND THE COSMIC SPACE KAPOW AND DRAGONS. SENSE AND SENSIBILITY AND DRAGONS. My WIP has sea monsters already. Must add dragons.
Rick Daley,
Your experiment looks very cool. Kudos to you for making time in your very busy schedule to do that.
Can't wait until the Historical Thesaurus for the OED has an iBooks version!
...my final act in E-Lit class...smuggling my professor's thesaurus out the door, under my textbook and crammed to my thigh. Evil, I agree. But all in the act of future literary prowess:)
embrdSacl
Okay, it's driving me crazy. Can you translate, please?
Holly-
Scrambled
Arrrrrgghhhh, thanks. I feel one cell short of a brainstem.
LEGO + Star Wars = awesome. And pretty much describes most activities in my house. :)
Loved the Star Wars clip. Did Han shoot first?
Oh, I think I need that thesaurus too. I can imagine how fabulous it would be for writing historicals. . . or just for checking out words for fun.
Great links, Nathan. Thank you.
I think it's wonderful that you're donating for the auction, and I think the auction is wonderful as well. That follow-up phone call is a great touch. And them's some pretty big bucks that are going for you, Mr. B. - over eight hundred dollars right now. Wow.
Rick D. - good luck with your contest! :)
So, sometimes the Rejectionist is really funny. When you put that together with her commenters, it's like performance art. That was a hilarious comment by Ink about the t-shirt slogans. That type of whip-smart, fire-cracker, cynical New York brand of humor is great fun to read. I can't write it, sadly, but love to read it. That group should think about putting something together.
So, I was extremely depressed to read that I only get three pages for acknowledgements. Like all good writers, I've written my dedication and acknoweldgements numerous times, even though I haven't written a book yet. And I'll need way more pages than three. For example, the trees. I want to find out how many trees were used to produce my book, give them names and then thank them. I'll write: "To Bob, Jennifer, Rhonda, Bill, Alexis, Donte, Pam and Michael who lost their lives in the making of this book. Bless you. Rest in peace."
This is a long post.
Great comment by Sam, and I have never seen a lego video I didn't like.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend. Kudos to all the mothers on this site! :)
So what does it say about a person, if they read the title and just kept going because they understood it???
Great info.
The Thesaurus should be wonderful but, having ponied up the big bucks, I find it almost unusable. You look up a word in the index and get a reference number like 01.06.06.05.01.01. It takes me an average of 5 minutes and several false starts to find the section I want, by which time I am ready to throw the book out of window. Whoever came up with the system should be shot. So wait until it's available in electronic form. It cries out for it.
By: Nathan Bransford,
on 5/6/2010
Blog: Nathan Bransford (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Query Letters, Add a tag
Thank you so much to everyone for weighing in on what you want on the blog. The people have spoken and holy cow you really want more stuff on queries? You sure? Well........ okay..... If you say so!
In reality though, in the coming weeks I'm going to start mixing in more posts/critiques about pages themselves. I understand why people want queries queries queries because queries are the one part of the process that it feels like an author can really control and are the sort of frustration flash point. But in reality what matters most is your manuscript, and especially that the writing in said manuscript is "good."
But what makes good writing good?
That's what we'll be getting at in the coming weeks. Preview: good writing is precise. That's what I hope to illustrate.
In the meantime, huzzah and all that, a query post!
Continuing in the series of things-you-should-do-instead-of-things-you-shouldn't-do posts about writing a query, here's another must do:
Focus your query on the work you are currently shopping and devote the majority of the words in the query to it.
Sometimes when writers have experienced a taste of writing success they feel this is going to carry the day in a query and focus almost exclusively on those accomplishments.
For instance, all of these things are good, solid writing accomplishments that you should be proud of:
- being accepted to and/or graduating from an MFA program
- placing in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Competition
- placing short stories with prestigious journals
- being nominated for a Pushcart
- self-publishing and receiving praise from strangers
Congrats! Very well done. But none of these things, at least for me, are going to result in a partial request on their own, and I wouldn't make these accomplishments the focal point of a query.
Even if someone had a great deal of success and had been published and sold a lot of copies, I still need to connect with the current project the author is shopping if we're going to successfully work together. That current project is what I want to know about. It's what I'm going to be basing my decision on.
Yes, mention your accomplishments, but your current project should be the star of the show.
I’m so happy you’ll be devoting more posts to writing. Since that’s what most of us spend hours upon hours doing, it will be fun to actually read and talk about writing here. I must say, it felt really good to read the wide variation in writing accomplishments on the list you provided – very respectful of writers who devote many long hours to their craft. It’s interesting that you included self-publishing on the list. Earlier today, I received a PR email from an author about a book she self-published. Oddly, the PR included paragraphs of high praise about the author’s writing from an agent who ultimately rejected the book. The email also mentioned how her latest book signing sold the most copies ever in a signing at a particular bookstore. Obviously, there are some wonderful self-published books out there today, and the authors ought to be proud of them. Great advice on this Blog – I already knew about concentrating mostly on a current project in a query letter from earlier posts on your Blog.
I'm excited to hear what you to say about good writing. Without a good story--a well written good story--queries are meaningless. Story and good writing, that's what I want to hear about.
I'm anon today so no one will see me asking this question :) But if a writer has written many books in genre fiction, has good sales, a good following, along with reviews and all that other good stuff, and this writer still wants to switch gears (name and all) and go in another direction, how would they go about listing previous works to make them look viable without being pretentious? Just add a long list of titles and links at the bottom of the query? Do this after the current project has been described? Or just say, heck, I have twenty or thirty books out under a pen name, but now I want to go mainstream with my real name?
Or should the writer just ignore sales and previous publications and go for the new work without mentioning anything?
Sorry if I'm rambling. This is a difficult place to be, and it's a difficult decision to make, because I think most writers who do this know they are starting from scratch. So would starting form scratch just be the way to write the query? And just forget about everything previously published.
It seems obvious, but we need to be reminded of the value of staying in focus. Thanks for responding to what most of your readers want -- more writing information.
Also, your statement about previous credits & accomplishments is heartening, as so much of this submitting process seems to be about what a writer has already done, rather than what he is trying to market now. Kudos to you for stepping outside that box.
Congrats on also being named one of the five BEST AGENT BLOGS OF 2010 by Chuck Sambuchino! But hey, we already knew that.
I didn't explicitly say this in response to yesterday's blog subject, Nathan, but I think you spend enough time on queries already.
I understand why readers might want more, but there are a lot of reasons I read agent blogs, and they aren't solely to improve my query's chances of success. I'm trying to learn as much about the business as possible. Query info is very useful, but one can go insane learning too much about queries from the zillion resources out there (especially when they conflict).
I'd like to have other agenting/publishing/writing information in my head, too, so I can go crazy about other aspects of the business. :)
Nathan I think you're right about people focusing on queries - and it does seem to be the hardest part, at least for me. Of course I've never waited anxiously for a book to sell, so what do I know.
Have you ever thought of giving more real world examples? With analysis?
I know you have posted queries that worked on your blog, and those are very helpful but if anyone out there ever wants a little more ... they can always check out the Firday guest posts on my blog (sorry to self promote here, but it really is relevant).
I've got Lisa and Laura Roecker coming up tomorrow morning, and some other very famous blogger/authors like Elana Johnson and Suzette Saxton are coming up soon.
If anyone wants to see an example a great one is here.
Also if you ever want to share and analyze your query for JACOB WONDERBAR AND THE COSMIC SPACE KAPOW, my email is on my blogger profile ... but seriously, as usual you make several good points. A query has one purpose: entice the agent to read more, it shouldn't take a long letter or huge history of credits to accomplish that.
Besides if an agent accepts unsolicited submissions, they are probably counting on the fact that even debut authors can write great books.
Thanks as always for all you do Nathan!
anon@11:27-
I think you can give an overview of your books etc. and it would be extremely helpful if you include a list with publishers and years at the end. But I'd still focus mainly on the project at hand.
t. anne-
No, I'm afraid the PW reviews connected with the ABNA don't hold much sway for me.
In defense of those of us who requsted more posts on queries -- don't get me wrong. I HATE HATE HATE queries. I doubt I'll ever get it right! But, given it's the ONLY route (other than a direct pitch) for getting an agent to look at my ms, I'd say getting it right is pretty darn important.
You can write about other subjects as well. I promise I'll read it all. Just include a bit occasionally about the query process (like today's blog). That's all I ask.
As to contests and competitions, I think what writers get out of those, more than anything else, is validation -- and occasionally some useful feedback.
Good advice as usual, Nathan.
I just wanted to say I'm looking forward your writing advice too. "Good writing must be precise" is a great point, and much easier said than done. It's interesting to hear different agents' opinion about what is or is not 'good writing'. It can also help an author chose who to query or not.
Ah, okay. But Nathan, what am I to do when querying to those agents who actually have a requirement to send them a page with a biography of myself, if I don't have any writing credentials?
Send them nothing, even though it says VERY CLEARLY that queries that dont follow instructions won't even be given a reading?
Nathan, Any chance you could post sometime on the beast that is the two-book deal? I cruise various blogs often but never see this written about. In my own case, I have a solid book of short stories, many of which have won awards,but am not sure if THAT should be the pitch in the query, or if I should give equal weight to the almost-finished first draft of my novel. Any thoughts much appreciated. I suspect a lot of people are in this position.
anon@11:27-
"I think you can give an overview of your books etc. and it would be extremely helpful if you include a list with publishers and years at the end. But I'd still focus mainly on the project at hand."
Thank you. I was hoping you'd say something like that.
Oh good, more on writing! Thank you.
I'm eager to read your posts on page critiques. I think many of us fall into the query trap and hammer out revisions of our queries when we should be spending that time on the MS itself. I know I've been guilty of that in the past.
anon-
Two-book deals are a topic for another day, but if you have a short story collection plus novel I'd query with both, because often publishers want them in that combination. That's an exception I'd make to the query-only-one-project at a time rule.
Nathan, this is such valuable advice that I have to say I haven't seen before. It is easy to get caught up in "bragging rights" and think that they will make a big impact. The truth is, we should embrace and believe in the writing we're submitting to let it do the talking. Thanks for providing this tip for those of us in the querying stages!
I have the opposite problem. I have no publishing credits and my education and day job isn't related to writing, so I often omit any bio. Is that as bad as putting too much?
Nathan, Thanks for the info on two-book deal querying. I'll keep an eye out for a more detailed post...Seems like some models would be interesting to see.
I am just about to start querying for a book length memoir about my life-changing friendship with a homeless, mentally ill veteran. A condensed version of the first four chapters appeared in a prestigious literary journal and, I learned a few days ago, won a XXXV Pushcart Prize.
Since this writing is directly related to the larger project, would I make it more prominent than I might if the piece were unrelated?
Thanks!
Sarah-
Congrats! I'd definitely make it prominent. Sorry if there's confusion, I'm not saying people shouldn't highlight prestigious awards or even lead with them, just that they shouldn't be focused on to the extent that there's not enough discussion about the project itself. But I don't mean to suggest that you should bury prominent awards.
Nathan,
Thank you (and keep an eye out for a query from me in the next few months)!
Sarah
Great post! Thanks!
Personally, I want more information on queries not because I feel like it's the one thing I have control over, but quite the opposite.
When an author begins querying agents, they start (as anyone would) at the top of the list, with their first choice, but as they go on, they learn more and more. They see the mistakes they made in their query letter/package and are mad there won't be another chance to woo their first choices again.
The author's chances of acceptance go up over time, but their list of agents dwindles. It's terrifying! If other authors are like me, they stopped sending out their query package after the first few rejections and have put it in the shop for repairs. Now, they are looking to gather as much knowledge as possible on how they can improve before they burn through their entire list of agents.
Who better to get this knowledge from than an agent (possibly THE agent they want)?
Thanks again! Love the blog, a truly wonderful writer's resource.
Dang! I wish I'd read this before I mailed my last query. Next time, I'm taking out the bit about getting my 'One width' swimming certificate ;)
I agree the writing should be the most important thing, but there are some agents who won't even take small samples of the ms or there are those who don't look at anything but the query. It makes no sense to me, since even a single page of the ms should tell a savvy person if it's worthwhile to read anymore.
So we all struggle to make 250 words excite someone we probably have never met, who we know by name and reputation into wanting to read our novel. It's no wonder it's very daunting and we lose sleep over them.
Thanks, Nathan! Your query posts are always helpful.
Good words of advice. I look forward to your post on good writing.
I really look forward to your posts about the first pages. I think that there are a lot of posts about queries, but queries are only part of the package--I'd like more about the sample pages and the synopsis portions.
This makes me feel a tad bit better since the only credential I have is that I'm about to graduate high school. Which isn't much of a credential.
Hi Nathan,
What if, oh I don't know, the writer has no writing credits and is in fact a high school drop out? What then?
Enjoyed this.
The point is to query the book and lighten up on everything else. I GET IT!! Thanks for the tip. Nathan, I have a question. After a rejection, would it be proper to request a reason for the rejection, or do you usually mention this in your response?
All your information is gratefully accepted and digested but without a good query it doesn't matter how well written my book may be, an agent will never read it.
And Is not "good" writing judged differently for different genres?
Young Adult and Children's seem to be the most focused upon these days. What about the rest of us who write about ordinary people thrust into extraordinary or difficult situations?
Anyway, I appreciate whatever you give us, Nathan. Thanks!
Agents are people too. (OMG! Really? What a revelation!) Like people, they like different things.
I read on an agent's page last week that they wanted 9 or less lines about the book and a paragraph on your publishing/writing history and the first 3 chapters. That query is very different from anything I've heard any other agent ask for.
My lesson from this? Creat a query template. Then research every agent and personalise that template. If they want to know about your MFA, tell them. If they don't, leave it out.
Most of the agents have a web presence and info on submissions. It's never been easier to give an aget EXACTLY what they want.
Oh, and continuing from yesterday, contests and games are great fun.
But you have to pace yourself, too.
So, I like this post. It's deceptively simple. I like the idea that people can get in the door on the strength of their work. I give publishing a hard time - but that's one very nice thing about it.
Hi Nathan, I have a question about prologues. I know, we're talking about queries here but it's all a part of the writing, right?
I've heard other agents say they just skip the prologue or ignore it. As the first page an agent would read with initial submission(query/sample pages), would you say it would be better to just leave that prologue out or include it?
Thanks.
Nathalie-
My thoughts on prologues here.
And also a friendly reminders about the FAQs, which have answers to about 90% of the most commonly asked questions. Please check there first!
Showcasing the work is the most important part of the query. I agree. Thanks Nathan!
That all sounds fantastic, and just what I need right now. After being told by an agent who requested a partial that the narrative wasn't as good as he hoped, or something like that, pointers in what makes writing good would be fantastic. When I first arrived at this blog, I had a wonderful feeling of finding an online home, and you've never let me down, Nathan.
Thanks!
Good advice the rest of the stuff like past achievments should normally be in an attached cv
That said it really depends on who you are contacting, the best advice is to do some research on the editor or agent you are submitting to and see what they prefer.
It's a good thing I have no accomplishments.
Or just say, heck, I have twenty or thirty books out under a pen name, but now I want to go mainstream with my real name?
Anon 11:27: This works for me. There are agents and agencies that specialize in career moves.
Manstream, though, is tough taters to peel. But, I'm sure you have more of hook than that.
After five genre mystery novels in a series (the first of which was a finalist for an Edgar Award), it took me a decade to switch my old name off and have my new (same) name come back in an entirely different area of fiction.
Best of luck opening a new door! You're going to be a terrific find for the right agent!!
What about sending the prologue with the query letter (as the first 5 pages)? That's a no no, right?
courtney-
Answered farther up.
I think I'm going to quit writing and just become an agent. Why bother writing when I can make a living off someone else's talent?
anon-
I wish you the best of luck becoming an agent.
Probably, too late. But... Nathan, if you haven't finished your week's round-up yet, check out Terry Stonecrop's current blog post: advice on writing from Alice in Wonderland. It's coolio!
I don't put links in comments, but you can click (well above) on Terry's comment entry and get there in half a snickerdoodle.
So I should leave out winning the Bonny Baby Contest?
By: Nathan Bransford,
on 5/5/2010
Blog: Nathan Bransford (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Add a tag
We're now three years into the lifespan of this blog, and in that time it has seen many changes. I've gone from breathlessly discussing what is happening on the Hills to seeing an ad for it the other day and thinking, "Wait... there's another season? I thought it was over a year ago!"
The world changes so much in three years.
But that's not what this post is about - I thought I'd check in to see what you'd like to see more/less of on the blog and to solicit feedback. I aim to please!
More/less queries?
More/less writing?
More/less publishing news?
More/less Nathan's writing life?
More/less Nathan speaking in the third person?
More/still-more/no-really-I-mean-way-more monkeys?
The last time I checked in people asked for Forums, so this isn't an idle exercise. I am definitely curious and very much appreciate your thoughts.
And I can't thank you enough for reading and commenting - some of you have been around since the beginning and it really means a lot! Thank you thank you thank you.
Rhetorical questions! That's what the blog needs.
That’s funny about The Hills. I was flipping through TV channels the other night, saw a few minutes of The Hills, and thought, "Isn’t that the show Nathan used to talk about on his Blog?" LOL. I guess things really do change in just a few years.
I love this Blog, and the Forums are also great. Thanks so much for all the work you put into these!
Here are my suggestions. I’d love to see more in-depth discussions about writing, including quirky topics like symbolism – basically an Advanced Creative Writing Blog Discussion. I’d also love to see in-depth book discussions in which we analyze a book, not just say whether or not we liked it. It’s always fun when you blog about your own writing life and we all join in talking about ours. And I always enjoy your contests.
Oh, and I vote for: "no-really-I-mean-way-more monkeys". Bring on the monkeys!
I'd like to see more examples of quality writing and writing techniques. Help us get better.
You can never have too many good query examples.
More monkeys and their butts, please.
I am fairly new to your blog and I wonder if once a month or so you could do Questions of the Day. And anyone, with any questions about writing (or monkeys) could ask(in the comment section) and you would answer. Obviously it would be a lot of work for you for the one day, but I think everyone has quirkly little questions and it doesn't seem appropriate to just ask them when it is off topic.
Advanced Creating Writing? Hmm. I think agent blogs are valuable because they provide information on commercial writing and publishing, from beginning to advanced.
I really like your blog, which is why I keep coming back. You are incredibly generous with your insider tips while not mocking us aspiring writers too much.
I would be interested in seeing more of the same, and learning more about what you do as an agent. Maybe take us through one project from start to finish...from asking to see a manuscript to the day it comes out. If you've already done that, then ignore me.
And I do need synopsis help. I'm dragging my feet on that one.
I'd like to see a monkey getting in there and really exploring the space with this cowbell I'm hearing so much about.
More monkeys, cowbell, writing, queries, videos of animals and speaking in the third person
Less i-pad, kindle, nook and endless discusions on how the e-readers with help/destroy/change publishing.
While additional info on queries are good, maybe more analysis on how/why you choose to request more from a writer. Maybe use queries from your clients and tell why you chose them, in a variety of genres. (Maybe also include the process of getting them published, too--and an approximate time line from the day you signed to the day they were published?)
Less Lost. More Glee. More queries. WAY more monkeys. Maybe some squid. More how-on-god's-green-acre-you-have-time-to-blog-work-and-write-a-book.
more nathan's writing life would be nice! i never think this blog is lacking something though, you have a great mix of topics :)
I'd love to see more info about topics pertaining to agented folks.
I'd like to see more of the same - plus perhaps an occasional 'blog off today - go write' amnesty. I spend too much time reading and not enough writing. I could do with some kick in the rear reminders, to just BIC. I've been 'hanging around' since 2006, and WIP is still that.
I love the funny stuff, but then again the important information is pretty good too.
More of the same would be great as a matter of fact.
status quo:
publishing news
writing
the value of reading
let's see:
iPad / device convos
mORE:
how the nature of reading / writing is morphing with the aforementioned iPad/device convos
MORE MORE:
are those iPad/device convos going to seem quaint in 10-20 years when the next gen, accoustomed to many-tasking, doesn't even read ...
PS you are raising some serious money over at Brenda Novak's. Great to see!
What about a Q and A day once a month or whatever you decide where we can pepper you with questions?
I'd like to read about your own process in writing. I don't think I've read many posts about that.
I'd like to see more advice about things that go with querying beyond writing a good query letter, which I think you have already covered.
Maybe how to spice up your first 5 pages? How to get your partial turned into a full request more often? How to polish your manuscript so agents fight over it?
I think when a lot of people ask for query advice they might really need to improve their novel and/or first five pages so more agents want to read it.
Thanks so much to everyone for the great ideas! For those requesting Q&A day, that is actually every day over at the Forums. There's a dedicated thread where I'll answer your questions:
<a href="http://forums.nathanbransford.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=4>Ask Nathan</a>
More query information. There can never be too much.
More on synopsis or proposal writing.
More on what catches your eye as an agent. Interesting trends for instance or even things that just set your teeth on edge.
When you read for pleasure, what really strikes you about a book aside from the ones you throw at the wall and bounce back to strike you. Although that might be interesting also.
I really like the idea for more queries. I haven't started querying just yet, but your blog and other useful resources have helped me gain a better understanding of what agents are looking for in a query letter and I am going into the process with much more confidence.
I'd say more writing/reading stuff is always good. The contest stuff is always fun and a nice diversion -- queries, contests, agents for a day, first line contests, first paragraph contests, etc..
The publishing news is always everywhere so I skip most of the links on Fridays. Also, I personally love it when you talk about your book, own writing hazards and successes.
I think you have a really good balance. I loved the Be An Agent for a Day test you had last week, I think that was one of the most helpful things I've read in a while about queries and the whole process.
I'm not sure if this helps, but thanks for your blog, I for one really appreciate it... oh and I agree with others about the monkeys!
Less about e-publishing trends, but I love your links. Don't stop those please.
Actually, I like your blog just the way it is. I especially appreciate the posts on queries and e-publishing. I recently compiled a list of what I considered to be useful blog posts about how to write query letters. Your posts totally dominated the list (linked below if anyone is curious):
http://www.querytest.com/qthowto.asp
It could have been a glitch, but I was looking through the forums a few days ago and a lot of them were either really slow to load or didn't load at all (I got about 15 error messages and 5 pages that actually loaded). It looked like you had smart people writing on interesting topics, so I would say faster and more reliable forums would be great!
I've felt that, in recent months, there's been less concrete information for aspiring writers (as given from a literary agent's perspective) on the blog. I've missed that.
Features like "You Tell Me" are entertaining and let all of us rabble "own" your blog a bit better, but they're of weaker benefit to us as writers.
I read this blog for all of the above. That you continue to have something interesting and entertaining to say on a DAILY basis, and that you have stretched that record out over 3 YEARS astonishes me.
Not so much with the monkeys, perhaps. I feel that mutant armadillos are an underrepresented demographic hereabouts, and would appreciate it if you could do something about that.
Thanks for all the laughs, advice and information.
Ooo, I already commented, but I should say that I love the first pages and first paragraph stuff, because I like to see how and what others are writing, and then looking at all the comments as to why they worked or didn't for the blog readers.
Even if none of mine get posted, the conversation in the comments are always enlightening. It's like a mini critique group for those of us that don't have them.
More of it all! Except I hate monkeys. Lets have more bears instead.
I think you balance everything well as it is :~D
But really very much more monkeys would be appreciated. I do love them :~)
I'd love to hear more about what happens post-queries.... how about the editor submission process? Is there any role for the writer there, or do we sit by quietly like good little seen-but-not-heard kids?
-Nichole, beyondthemargins.com
More cat videos!
I think what all the people who are asking for more queries are really saying is that they want more guest posts by Canadian writers.
Surely that's what they're saying.
I'm not going to chime in on this one. I like what you do and I think you balance it well.
You give so much of your time and effort to this blog, Nathan. And it's so incredibly helpful. Just keep doing what you do, and I'll keep thanking you for it.
Please keep doing what you're doing--it's a nice mix. This includes continuing to come up with new ways to say, "This Week in Publishing." Cracks me up. :)
More/less queries? DEFINITELY MORE
More/less writing? more
More/less publishing news? less
More/less Nathan's writing life? less
More/less Nathan speaking in the third person? okay
More/still-more/no-really-I-mean-way-more monkeys? only owl monkeys
I guess I'm in the minority, but I'd love to see more publishing stuff-- your opinions on trends, the future of the novel, genre mixing, etc. Thanks for asking, Nathan.
I'd love to see more about the publishing process after you get an agent/publisher. More about marketing, foreign rights, etc. :)
This is the best blog ever and such a tremendous resource for us aspiring authors. Thank you, Nathan.
I vote for all of the above.
bc
Ink is correct, and he meant to say Canadian writers from the Eastern parts, who also speak French.
Right Ink?
Hi Nathan,
What would I like to see more of?
1. More queries. It might give me an insight on what agents will be looking for. Differences aside, there has to be some commonality. Right?
2. More writing. What sort of advice do you have? What seems to be the common link that makes your clients a success? What do editors look at when they go over an MS of a client? Grammar. Building the plot. Cutting detail.
3. More publishing. I always enjoy those. So much so, friday is my favorite day for more than one reason.
4. More about Nathan's Writing adventure. What does his writing group say about his story? How many times have you revised the first page? Did you start with the dreaded: Nathan woke up with the alarm clock. His arm stretched from beneath the blankets to rid himself of the noise.
Speaking of Nathan's story, I hope it coming along all right.
I'd like to see more on writing. Monkeys are good, too.
Every blog needs more monkeys. It's crazy for you to ask that!! :D
Seriously though, more Nathan talking about himself in 3rd person cause that's funny, more about Nathan's writing, and more publishing industry news.
Francis,
I thought you guys already seceded. Are you still Canuckian? ;) I've got to keep a better grip on current affairs.
And the french-speaking thing would kill me. Je parle un petit peu. With a strong emphasis on the petit part. "Bonjour. Um. Yeah. Ca va bien? Un cahier es loco... oh shit, that was my crappy spanish seeping in. Un cahier es mucho... I mean, tres, um, good. Yeah. Um. Au revoir. Right? Au revoir. I have a, um, telephono call. Damn."
Wow, it has been a while since you talked about The Hills!
Definitely more monkeys, and more queries and tips on things to do/not do in your first few pages. Those are always interesting to read.
And as much of your life as you're comfortable sharing.
Third person is always fine.
It's been great following your blog, Nathan, I'm really glad I found it! :) Congrats on the three years, that's a long time.
More writing and publishing news please! I also especially like it when you have activities such as You Be the Judge/etc. that involve us readers. :D And your reviews on the iPad and such are very interesting as well!
I like getting to know the people who are blogging the blogs I follow, but it's totally up to you how much about your own personal life you'd like to share. But less Nathan speaking in the third person. xD More speaking in first person!
Monkeys! TONS, and tons more monkeys. :3
More queries and more writing!
I had another idea, either for your Blog or Forums. The Feedback section of your Forums is fantastic for writers to receive critiques on their work, but I wonder if writers might enjoy an additional place where they could post excerpts more for discussion than for critique. The volunteers would definitely have to be brave souls to just put their work out there for everyone to discuss, but it might be fun. If you did this on your Blog, you could pick the submissions for discussion. There are only two main reasons why excerpts are usually posted on the Internet: for critique or as enticements to "buy the book". The hugely famous and popular Neil Gaiman is having one of his books, AMERICAN GODS, featured for discussion by all of Twitter, but there isn’t much of an opportunity for unknown writers to have their work discussed in any similar open forum.
Ink,
I am VERY much still a Canuck! Always have, always will be...
Currently enjoying the playoffs VERY MUCH, as our beloved Habs kicked the Capitals' asses, and though the shady penguins have us beat at 3-1 so far, that how it was with the caps... WE SHALL PREVAIL! Go Habs go!
Your first French lesson shall begin here: "Le train s'arrête doucement, surtout quand je suis sous l'effet de notre plante verte préférée."
More of what works for you, and why.
And thank you for your efforts.
Queries are like crack. Monkeys are cute. Third person cracks me up. I'm going with those.
I enjoy hearing about your writing, and the week-ending caps of the publishing business are a great way for me to stay current, even though technically I'm not in the publishing business.
I'd love it if you could do some YouTube vids with full-on jazz hands.
All of the above. =) And contests, I'm always up for contests! They keep me on my toes.
More writing tips.
More third person Nathanisms.
...I like monkeys.
...and shoes.
...and talcum powder.
Thanks for the perfect balance of wit and wisdom , as for monkey's I feel we could be getting a little more specific on the certain breeds , for instance , both the macaque and the proboscis nose could be mentioned a little more . Thanks Nathan.
More on queries since, judging by your contests, the majority of your readers are trying to find representation. Writing as well, since the two sort of go hand in hand.
This blog is wonderful as is!! You do a great job! Thx so much for all the awesome advice! The forum rocks too!
First of all, Nathan, I think the format you've developed over the years is outstanding. If I can cry for "more", it'd be for queries and possibly more info on your writing experiences. Publishing info is invaluable, but I think many of us feel very far away from needing a lot of it. Attacking some issues closer to the writing process would be way cool.
And if I may comment on a subject of which I know just enough to be dangerous: blog format. It's a huge pain in the hoop to change things, especially since you pretty much just did, but have you ever experienced "nesting" comments, where visitors can reply directly to individual comments. I know the forums handle this pretty well, but sometimes the topics heat up here much better.
Just a thought, and oh–more talk about yourself, but in the fourth person. Cheers!
What I'd like someone to do, so might as well be the fabulous you, is remark about trends they are seeing in queries and what publishers are accepting. Not to follow the trend, of course, but to know that there IS one would be nice. It'd be nice to know a query might be being rejected because there's umteen zillion others being queried at the time with the same/similar idea.
And not even a specific number or anything. Just a 'hey, this week's trend is intergalactic vampire cowboys and animorphic zombie football players. Seriously, peeps, wtf?' sort of note.
I predict that the accumulation of all these comments will imply that you just continue on with the same inspirational blogs in the same way as before.
I really appreciate those writing tips such as "Series bible".
Kermit Rose
I came to your blog when I had just discovered I loved writing and I was clueless on where to find relevant information and which materials to study. You showed me great resources that led to other great resources, and it is still going on. I don't have any suggestions, but I was looking for an opportunity to say thanks. So,
THANK YOU.
Anahita
I would like to see more publishing trends/news and more querying/writing tips, definitely. As an agent, you offer a unique perspective to the industry which makes your opinion (and thus your writing advice) pretty valuable.
And as for the monkeys... Maybe a ninja monkey here and there, but I'm not overly fond.
Things I'd likem to hear more about:
1) Anything having to do with queries. Seriously. It would be great if you could show us examples of what NOT TO DO. Not many agents talk about that.
2) More writing tips. I'm not picky either. It could be anything from how to find time to write, to revising...to...whatever. I love your posts on the subject. They have certainly given me much to think about as a writer.
3) More about YOU and YOUR writing. I don't know why but it always helps knowing that there is someone else out there writing right along with me. I'd love to see your progress on your book, your good says and bad days. It would really inspire me to keep going.
4) More stuff about publishing, finding an agent, how to get published, ect. It's always good for me to be reminded of the ups and downs of publishing and knowing that this will take some time.
There are other things, but these are my first thoughts. Really, any information you give us is gold. I'm just glad you have a blog in the first place!
Monkeys! :D
I would love more about both writing and about your writing life.
If it's not too late to weigh in on the subject, I'd definitely like to see more on writing tips and queries; definitely less on publishing news and electronic toys. And always interested in Nathan's life. But I gotta tell ya, Nathan, the thing with the monkeys is a little scary...
Your take on the publishing industry is fresh and insightful.Information on queries and writing is always useful, but there are other places to find equivalent information.
~ Jim
I'm a newcomer to the blog, but I love what you do. You are a blogging expert, and out of the thousands of self-indulgent amateur blogs out there that suck (and I consider my blog one of these), yours doesn't. So if you do make changes, I'm sure I'll love them :))
I think you have a great balance at the moment. When you discuss queries, synopses, etc, I would really love to see more real life examples; good, bad and great. With your rationales for labelling them so.
Thanks for an excellent blog.
Francis,
Ha! That was funny. At least I think it was funny. If I translated it right. I'm starting to worry...
I found the agent for a day really interesting. Perhaps you can do a similar contest on a regular basis. For example non fiction one month, mystery/thriller another, memoir a third.
Definately more queries...more third person...and who doesn't love monkeys?
Love the links you add in your blog - I've found many interesting things that way, so please keep it up! Always love query stuff and it's sick, but I love hearing about the horrendous ones (Craig's List...etc) makes me feel better about mine. More on the writing life too please! Gotta bring out the monkeys from time to time also-everyone needs a laugh.
Less about TV shows and more about writing.
How about something for a writer who will publish a one-and-only novel.
I am not a blog person. This is the first time I have posted a comment on someone's blog. This is a compliment to you---I think your blog is terrifically helpful.
Great tips for a first time author like myself.
Write a blog on how a previously unpublished author of fiction, who has written a first-time novel, can even have a glimmer of hope in getting a) an agent and b) a publisher.
The one thing I've learned is that this is a cutthroat business.
Thanks for the tips and the HUMOR.
PS Not interested in monkeys.
Your blog is pretty tremendous now, so I wouldn't change much. I come here before other sites, which tells me something. I like the way you aggregate publishing info on Friday, so we can figure that any big news will end up here and we will be able to learn about it from a reliable source.
Love the contests, etc., and your own journey through publishing (thanks for taking that on, BTW, to help all of us learn about that side of the biz). But I think the most valuable thing you contribute is writing in a tone that is both enthusiastic and realistic as a smart, curious, and in-the-know agent.
Okay, that sounded very suck-up. But I meant it anyway.
Happy blogiversary from one of the old-timers who's been here since the beginning. Best wishes to you for many more years. I love your blog, I learn so much. I really appreciate the query and synopsis advice.
I'd like to see more ways we would win feedback on our first pages or our queries. You know, not who is up first in the morning or anything (hard for those of us downunder) but... I don't know, some other way. And you know, not like at an auction, where one can buy a critique for a billion dollars, which would be awesome if we weren't a struggling starving writer in a garret.
I can't think. My brain has frozen.
I'd definitely love to see more competitions, and the occasional 'Nathan's autopsy' of selected samples. Another nice touch might be an occasional 'What I'd love to read right now' post. I've often seen similar on other agent/editor blogs, and sometimes it sparks an idea. I'm sure you'd love to read about the invasion of the cloned weremonkeys for instance.
Sorry if this is a repeat. I can never get my posts to stick.
I love this blog, I'm never bored and always learning something from you or the other readers.
That said, more query everything - especially samples of ones you like enough to request pages. And then what makes you reject them...
I appreciate the links throughout the posts, all very informative.
Anything on the writing process, maybe more suggestions on books about this?
The only thing I might say less of is the publishing news. I can't remember the other things on your list so there you have it.
Just keep it fun and thanks for taking the time to do this.
More nudity.
I fully expect Monday, May 24th's post to discuss what the heck happened on LOST.
More talk of books and authors you love on a regular basis who aren't necessarily your clients. Projects that you wish had come across your desk? Projects that you would like to see land in your inbox?
Ink,
I have no doubt you translated it correctly! ;)
i'm with the querie crowd. And maybe some time spent discussing synopsis writing in depth...with examples. That would help.
Thanks, Nathan, for all you do for us.
I want more query, less nothing. I love it all and read you more than the New York Times. LOL I'm from Florida, so I don't read the New York Times. I read you daily, suffice it to say. I want more on the publishing world and its changes. I love being kept uptodate on everything that is important and will educate me and help guide me through the publishing maze. I love your third person writing and I am thrilled you care enough to take time out of your busy work schedule to help, and definitely more monkeys. Thanks Nathan.
I like it when you keep a good mix, but it would be nice to see you do more critiques of both queries and perhaps short partials, as I think that could really help us more than most things. I imagine it is tough to find time for such things, though. If you do this, I hope you will rotate between genres so we will see a variety.
I like hearing about industry trends, where the industry is, what's cutting edge. I realize most people want the fast-track pill to publishing, but I want to know what's going on in the industry. Anyone can look up info on queries and publishing, you know?
Monkeys. Definitely more monkeys.
This is such an enjoyable blog; I can't think of anything I'd want to see changed.
(I really, really hate when food manufacturers keep trying to improve their product, which happens to be one of my favorite brands, and, um.... mess it up. Not to name any names, Worthington Foods, but you know who you are.)
Oh, and space monkeys are always good. Reed N. Lurk is into the space monkey thing. :D
Thanks for keeping this blog going, Nathan!
I think you maintain a really good balance between all of the proposed subjects. A little query, a little pub news, a little Q&A, and monkeys. Most of what you post is business, so I do enjoy the funny monkey/TV/other stuff as a fun aside.
But what are you going to talk about when Lost is over?
Speaking of monkeys...
My kids were watching Zula patrol this evening and of course I'm not. Well not really, I was feeding the baby.
Anyways...
The narrator starts his shpeal(sp sorry it's late) and I hear the words. I kid you not. SPACE MONKEY OPERA. Seriously. No. Seriously.
I still have no friggin clue what it had to do with the show, but I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. Poor DFS (dear foster son) started crying, I scared him so bad.
Maybe this exists on the FOrums, but It's all I can do to keep up with blog reading, so I don't normally see the forums.
But I'd like to see the occasional "Ask Nathan" post where blog readers can ask their burning questions about topics you may not have directly addressed.
-Steve
(For example, I'd love to hear what your response would be to the possibility of professional query-writing services).
-Steve
I think there's enough query info out there. You don't have to end yours, just don't add to it. I'm curious about writing process and agenting in general. Publishing too. I wouldn't mind hearing about Jacob W and where he's at in his publishing life right now. Just to sort of follow him along to learn about it all.
I'm not so much inclined to linger when it's a post about eBooks. No offense.
I'm really sort of a non-writer since I don't know if I'll ever pursue publishing for anything I write, but I enjoy learning about the industry here. "Someday" I'll write more seriously, but I enjoy this world. :)
Hey, here's a suggestion (and I'm sorry I'm taking up two comments):
I know you've printed your 2 line blurb for Jacob W, but I would love a post that has your 2 line blurb, your back flap summary, your 1 page synopsis, your 3 minute pitch, etc. etc. Am I right in thinking a person needs to summarize their book in many ways for many reasons? I'd love to read them all in one post. Do you start with the biggest one and pare down? Or start small and go out?
Just curious. And I think it'd be a great example since you've already successfully pitched it.
Yieks, comment 176! Well I might as well put in my 2 cents. I always love to hear your perspective on what's going on in publishing over the pond so I'd be for more publishing news, but then again I'd be a bit bias in that regard. :)
I like that you measure your life in reference to the evanescent popularity of The Hills.
Rather no monkeys
Rather opinions of person
Rather whatever you feel like writing cos that's what will be most intersting at the time.
Mind me not, had a bad day.
I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Alena
http://dataentryjob-s.com
I enjoy visiting this blog and think everything you post is spot on, Nathan. As others have suggested, I'd be interested in hearing more about your writing life as obviously you're onto something that works. I love the contests, too. So more of those, please, if you can spare the time. Also I agree with Bamboo Grover's suggestion of more real life examples of what and what not to do in the querying/writing process.
Thanks, Nathan!
More about your writing please!
Thanks for your Blog Nathan. More on your life in Publishing, queries, helpful stuff, funny stuff. And monkeys :)
I say more of everything! This blog is the highlight of my day! ^_^
More queries....publishing news....whatever happened to the winner of the "first paragraph" contest???
Bi-Annual "first paragraph contests"......love that one....great blog.
Dennis
With book sales coming down, I'm curious if agents like yourself are changing what is considered good writing. There seems to be a mismatch between what the public wants to read and what people are reading. What has replaced the low-brow pulps of the 30-40's?
I am also curious about the agent/editor relationship. We don't often hear about it. How does that query process work?
I'd like to hear more about reasons for rejecting manuscripts you've requested.
Echoing what a lot of people are saying (monkeys aside), I really want to thank you for the time you take to write these as frequently as you do. Almost all the information is very helpful, query information especially. I can't recall if you've addressed market trends, but I could always use some information on whatever you're hearing. I have several projects to market and that would help with planning (I already know not to try to write to market).
I would definitely say more about queries and more about your writing life, the slush pile and what not to do.
Less monkeys
One thing I am curious on is first person vs third person and if there is any way to use both in a novel.
Query tips would be helpful. . . with some real life examples of what to write and what not to write.
More of what you go through as a writer, first or third person.
I agree that writing tips and queries are always welcome. Sometimes suggestions I read from the comments section will send me skittering to a new writer's or literary website. More pictures, please. I'll always remember the llamas. Friday's publishing news keeps me informed. I think you do a great job and I recommend your blog to others.
You should publicize the "Connect with a Critique Partner" section of the forums more often--this could be a really cool service/community if enough people took advantage of it.
More monkeys. Monkeeeys Innn Spaaace! No wait! Pigs. Piiigs Innn Spaaace! Yeah, that's the ticket.
More on queries and writing
More queries!
More writing!
less publishing news!
less Nathan's writing life!
ess Nathan speaking in the third person!
I'd love to hear more about your experience as a soon-to-be published author, as I am one too. But specifically in relation to the kind of advice you give your own clients, for example, in the contract negotiating phase, or how to promote once a book comes out. It's VERY interesting how you live in both sides of the same world...talk about that more.
More query info, more writery info, more personal info (cause thats damn funny) but less Kindle/Ebook/Ipad blah blah blah.
It depresses me.
Anything on queries is invaluable.
Also your insights into the minds of agents (in general - and yours, in particular) are extremely helpful.
Blogs that help us understand the process, trends, writing and querying no-no's ... And always, ALWAYS with that wonderful sense of humor that is your "signature."
I clearly missed this blog - on accident of course!
Is it too late to weigh in and vote for an inordinate amount of monkeys? Perhaps even ones with guns?
Oh, and more on your writing habits and tips, and, hmm. Ooo! How 'bout something on punctuation? Do's, don'ts, and the like?
Love your blog! Oh, and can't wait for more monkeys. And contests! Yes, more of those.
:-)
~heather
Hi Nathan.
Thanks so much for your blog. And thank you for asking us all.
I usually find concrete examples most helpful. Using real queries, synopses, books as examples to illustrate your points. Helps me wrap my head around your insightful advice.
Thanks!
I'd say:
More tips on- queries,synopsis writing, and writing in general because its always good to hear what an agent thinks about these things.
More- your writing life because I always find it interesting to compare methods.
definitely more- monkeys. Who doesn't love monkeys?
Less- publishing news because that's easy to find out there.
I wouldn't change a thing :)
I'm a lurker. I don't comment much but always read your posts. In particular, I enjoy your publishing/industry news. Speaking of which, I'd love to hear your thoughts on agents/agencies launching digital publishing ventures. I've heard of two now. Is this the start of a new trend?
More writing including more of your writing life... or life in general.
Some more queries.
More Nathan writing about Nathan - but in first person. (Feel free to go on speaking in the third person if it releases the inner demons.)
Monkeys - always welcome in my book: although not literally.
Exactly the same amount of high-quality publishing news as we have come to expect.
;)
This post is funny, and really nice at the end.
Too crazy busy to post yesterday, but I couldn't resist the chance to offer suggestions now - that's cool that you're asking for our input.
Well, I love your blog, obviously, so if you didn't change a thing that would be totally cool for me. Like many others, I think your instincts are dead on target. And that you post daily, and have such variety is admirable.
So, I'll just speak to what I like and would love seeing more of. I like it when you take on issues at the forefront of the industry. I think it shows courage and integrity. It's also a big part of what makes this blog - you open discussions about topics that are on everyone's mind, or topics that are of great importance to writers and publishing - you share your insights, and then you give everyone equal weight to weigh in on them. This keeps the blog current and relevant, imho.
Even visionary.
Another thing - I also like hearing what you think about things - you're insightful. I don't always agree with you, but that's part of the fun of it, isn't it? :) So, I truly love that you have lots of space for us to give our opinions and share, but sometimes I find myself wishing there was a bit more Nathan on the blog. Does that make sense?
One thing I'd love more than anything is something I think it might be hard for you to do. I followed a link the other day to the person who won the football contest - or was that basketball? - um, something like that. Anyway, you gave her a critique that included adding a B plot to the story. It's not that specific advice, exactly, that I'm looking for, although that was great, but I'd love to get a sense of how you look at an MS as a whole and see room for change and improvement. Well, basically what you do with your clients when you are hands on. I know that might be hard to do here, but I personally would love that.
Hmmm, I guess I do have one suggestion. You might link to particular forums on the side bar - like the 'ask Nathan' forum or the critique forums.
Okay, I think that's it. Again, I love your blog. Thanks for everything you do, Nathan.
Nathan, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but in my opinion, it's already perfect. Except...you can never have enough monkeys.
you are so young on your agent job.
Sex, violence, car chases and monkeys! Violent monkeys in sexy cars chasing intergalactic ninja bacon I-Cats! Put that in your blog before I put it in my WIP!
Also, John would like more of Nathan speaking in the third person. About Nathan's writing life, and SON OF JACOB WONDERBAR.
I love hearing what an agent would say to a writer or another agent at lunch. What editors are looking for now (the beauty of a blog is instant news), insider stuff that our agents (who don't blog) don't tell us on a daily basis.
Kia is a little late on this but she would love to hear more about Nathan's writing life.
I'm a fairly new reader of your blog and I'd be really interested in more advice for non-fiction writers, particularly querying and writing proposals.
And definitely more monkeys.
Like everyone else, I enjoy monkeys. I really appreciate the query info. (It is just so overwhelming!) I also love reading an agent's perspective on the various aspects of publishing. (Especially when said agent is funny and refers to himself in the third person.)(That's a lot of parenthesis. Maybe it's time to stop.) Happy 3rd anniversary!
I would love love love to hear more about your writing life! I also love your posts on publishing news, because you give so much depth and insight to the news I find on other sites.
By: Nathan Bransford,
on 5/4/2010
Blog: Nathan Bransford (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: writing advice, Jacob Wonderbar, Add a tag
I was working on JACOB WONDERBAR #2 the other day and it came time to reintroduce a teacher that plays an important role in the first book. I summoned my mental image of the teacher...... which was completely blank.
What did she look like again? What color hair and eyes did she have? Total blank.
I mean, I'm not great with faces in real life, let alone with fictional characters. I think have a mild form of that face blindness thing, so by the way if I meet you again in real life and I have a blank look on my face it's not personal I think you're great just give me some context!!!!!!! (Luckily my wife will spot someone on the street and say things like, "That is the person who sold me a lollipop when I went to the county fair in 1985 but now they have orange hair." I'm surprised she hasn't been hired by the CIA)
Anyway, I mentioned how I forgot all about the teacher to my wife and she nodded knowingly and said, "Time to work on your Series Bible."
Series Bibles take many different forms. Sometimes when writers are coming into an already-existing series or, say, a line of books with certain rules (such as in romance) the Series Bible will give them the characters, world, plotlines, and rules that the writer has to follow.
But you can also create your own - if you're writing a series, or even if you're just crafting a single novel set in a unique world with its own rules, I highly recommend creating your own Series Bible. Whenever you reintroduce a character the Series Bible will remind you what they look like. If you have different worlds/planets/lands/classrooms/lairs you won't have to go hunting through your manuscript to try and remember which one is which.
The Series Bible is a lifesaver when your brain has reached capacity.
What to include:
- Characters: What they look like (just copy and paste straight from the book), how many brothers and sisters they have, important events in their past, personality traits, etc. Also, any unique schedules they have, hobbies, etc. I'd include all characters, major and minor. You never know who's going to reappear.
- Worlds/Planets/Lands/Classrooms/etc.: What they look like, their backstory, any important details, etc.
- Rules of Law: Any important/unique laws or conventions, styles, etc.
- Any backstory that happens off the page: Make sure you know and keep track of all the key details.
- Inventions/Special Powers: This is important, especially for science fiction and fantasy. When you invent something, even when it's just barely mentioned, it can create huge repercussions for the rest of the story. For instance, if you introduce a personal hyperwarp drive, whenever a character is in trouble your reader will be like, "Duh, use the personal hyperwarp drive, USE THE PERSONAL HYPERWARP DRIVE!!" Keep track of our inventions and powers, and make sure their rules of use are clearly delineated.
- Anything else you need to remember for later
Your Series Bible will save you when you paper over a plot hole only to open up a big ole gaping chasm somewhere else in the book.
Now I just need one for my real life.
Photo © 2004 by
Interesting about face recognition. I sympathize with Emily White – for me, the problem is names. I’m really good at remembering both faces and voices (I often recognize an actor in a movie many years later by either face or voice), but I’m horrible at remembering names. Even when I read novels, I tend to forget the characters’ names. I also tend to forget how a novel ends. What’s up with that? I can tell you all kinds of weird stuff about a novel, including psychological ways to analyze the story, symbols, artistry of language, but somehow I need to remind myself to concentrate on the ending to actually get it to go from my short-term memory into my long-term memory.
A Series Bible sounds like an interesting idea. My latest novel includes outer space as well as Earth, time travel and multiple time periods within the future, fictional military and government agencies, and quite a few characters. I even have a couple of characters whose names I created to sound like Chinese names that evolved over time after China became a world superpower. I ended up creating lists of who lived where in which time period, and got really good at searching my manuscript to look up information. :)
Useful and timely advice. Like others, wondering what tool you find most effective? I've tried index cards in a box, notebooks and excel - but keep running out of space or needing to change things and redo - going to try a ring binder next, so pages can get added or removed at will. Other ideas?
I have one of these, but it was just a spiral bound notebook with a character name or place at the top of each page. It really was helpful.
That's what I use a personal wiki for. I put tiddlywikiwrite together, specifically for writers, based on the tiddlywiki engine. It's free and open source and will run in any browser. It's meant as an offline, personal tool, rather than a colaborative one.
Feel free to use/modify/etc.
http://www.ljcohen.net/resources-wiki.html
This is such a great thing to do. My series bible is a stack of notes scribbled down on the backs of envelopes, contracts, post-its, and napkins from my glove compartment that only I can understand. I have it down in theory, and it seems to work for me this way. But I need to work on the organization part.
Heh. Oddly enough, considering how bad my memory is in many ways, the time I wrote a series (and lemme tell you, it was LOOONNNGGG, sort of steam-punky thing), I didn't have too much trouble keeping track of it -- EXCEPT...I had this imaginary city in which much of the action took place, and by the second book, I had to draw a map of it because I was constantly referring to landmarks in a particular part of the city, and it was a freakin' complicated, detailed city, and there was this chase scene...
I absolutely love this post! I do a Series Bible for all my novels but I never knew that's what it was called. :)
~TRA
http://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com
Nathan,
You want a face for your teacher... here, study this one!
First Pic in my gallery at...
http://www.jacketflap.com/profile.asp?member=PYXX
Haste yee back ;-)
Yes, when writing a novel, I always have a separate document that I guess you could call a "bible." Also a handwritten notebook to jot down little details that I later add to the bible.
I've often wondered how writers of series' deal with tracking details. It's when you get an avid reader where they'll note details that gets you into problems. (I know that the J.D. Robb "In Death" series ran into a couple of these that had to be corrected later on.)
I've already got documents for character sketches on most of my stories, and when I get to the point of developing them into series, I know I'll have to expand. Good thing they're still flexible at this stage, being unpublished!
Wow, I thought I invented the term, Series Bible, but I guess I didn't. I have one for each of my four series, including the series I didn't sell yet. Writing fantasy, I have lots of things in there like monetary systems, lineage of characters and usually a roughly drawn map of the world.
That sounds like a great idea. Thanks!
Great idea! I sometimes end up going back to the first novel for the minor details or I keep scraps of paper with timelines and birthdates of characters, just can't ever find those scraps. I think I'll get serious about starting my own Series Bible. Thank you, Nathan!
Working in TV it is imperative that you have a Series Bible. With several writers on a show, they need to know the world. For a singular writer, it is a godsend (no pun intended).
It's nice to see a well organized plan for something I've been doing for a long time now. My series Bible is a mess. But if you search on a character or place name, you're likely to find the appropriate description.
Adrianne
I was just thinking last night how I need some kind of notebook with everything I have come up with about my charactors. What a great name to call it.
I have always called this a character outline and included what you have as paragraphs plus the following as bullets.
Name
Age
Job
Height
Weight
Hair
Eyes
Voice
Scars
Physicality
Emotional balance
Home
Birthday
Birth place
Parents
Siblings
Marital status
Love
Offspring
Education
Important influences
Motto
Philosophy
Ambition
Fantasy
Animal / object comparison
Closest friend(s)
Acquaintances
Enemies
Afraid of
Sees self as
Is seen as
Best quality
Worst quality
Darkest secret
First impression
How they feel about people's opinions of them
Persistence level (1-10 scale)
Power level (1-10 scale)
Flexibility (1-10 scale)
Crisis reaction
Problem at story open
How problems get worse
I've done this all along, but just called them "notes." Thanks for the cool new name.
Great advice. I definitely need a series bible!
Great post, thanks (again, but hey, thanking you never gets old).
I'd add one thing: a timeline.
I have one in MS Excel that lists the characters' names on the vertical axis, and then each year on the horizontal axis.
I highlight cells in a row based on birth/death of the characters, so I can easily look and see what age each person is, and then accurately calculate the differences in their ages.
This is for one novel, which covers the protagonists youth and his adult life (and (spoiler!) death).
This a great idea! I've already succeeded in changing a character's eye colours once - and I'm still on the first book. Definitely something I'm going to do. Thanks!
Thank you for this post. As always, you give essential advice I wouldn't have thought of on my own.
Also, my husband is just like your wife. How do they do that?
When I write about a character, I type in "woman" or "man" into Google images and find a picture of someone to describe. It sounds really weird, right? It totally works though. I also do it with scenery and buildings. That way I have a jumping off point before I characterize my protagonists! :P
Great post! It seems like it would be more difficult if you didn't intend the first book to become a series, but then it turned into one after the fact. Kristin Cashore discussed this with Graceling.
Great idea!
I keep mine Microsoft Publisher in the form of a color-coded text boxes. Each character's age at the time of certain events are color highlighted according to the event. I created mine to avoid contradictions and age problems.
Also, maps are great to keep east from west and kingdoms where you say they are located.
I have a notebook I keep all my info in: character sketches, story maps, drawings, schedules, research notes, everything (I'm kind of an organizational freak). I can't write if my notebook isn't next to me. Even if I don't look at it, I have to know it's there for a quick reference.
"Now I just need one for my real life" - Brilliant! I would have laughed out loud, but my roommate is sleeping... :)
I started something like this when I accidentally used the same name for two minor characters. It helped a lot, but I have always felt like a wuss of writer because I couldn't just remember all of my characters (what kind of a creator AM I?). It makes me feel a lot better to know that I'm not a wuss of a writer because lots of other writers do it, too! PHEW!
I HAVE to do this. Thanks for the tip, Nathan.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hoo-Ray! another Tuesday!
-J.S.
I've really been a fan of using TiddlyWiki for my notetaking/Bible-ing:
http://www.tiddlywiki.com/
It's just like an online wiki, but all contained in ONE MAGIC file offline on your computer. Easy to transfer, back up, edit, etc. Ah the modern wonders of javascript!
Makes me wonder how thick that Series Bible is for Lost. I mean they've got to have like 30 prophets writing that thing.
I start with a "series bible" and branch off from there. The important thing to note, is if you change your series bible information you better make note of it! FYI...
This is a good idea.
I'm terrible at both names and faces, so I was actually thinking it might not be a bad idea to do something like this for real life!
So, thanks for the suggestion - I guess I should really thank your wife - so thanks, Nathan's wife for the suggestion, and thanks Nathan for sharing it with us. :)
wowzers! Jacob Wonderbar numero 2 already! Much BIC action in progress I see. Such a busy busy person, Nathan. Do you consider yourself an agent or an author first?
One series I liked is The Traveler. Haven't read the conclusion though. I interviewed John Twelve Hawks online, the only place he can be found. Not even his agent knows who he really is. His advice was put as much work into your villains as your protags. That's a keeper. I have a two book series. Completed. It will be a series when the first is published.
I spend a lot of time writing short character biographies to make sure I stay consistent, although my descriptions could use much work.
It is often more fun than the story and a goldmine of inspiration - so much so that I now have a draft of a book of such characters - The Dregs of History -which currently has over 50 humorous characters. I
Anon-
I probably spend fifty hours or more agenting for every one hour writing so definitely agenting.
Thank you for the timely post. You must hover over my shoulder while I struggle to write and think, "Hmmm, she really needs to..."
I'm guessing the series bible is easier to build (and perhaps more relevant) after the first book is finished. Or perhaps after the first book first draft is finished. Pretty easy to create as you're going through revision of that first draft. One would think.
I have everything on notecards - one for each character.
Sound advice Nathan. Very early on I created my Annabelle Who's Who and Annabelle Timeline. Every idea I get for the series goes in there.
The timeline is an outline for the entire series. All three hundred years, from 1692 AD to the present, is touched on with plot points for my characters and how the main events effect them.
The Who's Who has short bios for all characters including important events.
When things change in the writing and editing, I go back and change those files, too.
It sure helps in the long run.
At what point did you know you would be writing Jacob #2? Or, is it already sold? Just curious how that worked.
And, we read my 4 year old son a book from the movie Cars, called "Meet the Cars." In it, there are pictures and paragraph descriptions of each of the cars from the film PLUS another 50 or so cars. Each could have been in the movie but wasn't. I imagine the whole Pixar writing gang sitting around dreaming these characters up and making cuts later. I like to keep my characters and extras in a little file like that just in case I want to use them or need to look back to them. I like to make extras too...just to know about the neighborhood. So I agree that your Bible idea is good.
I use a program called Writers Cafe to help me keep this type of info straight. It has characters sheets and a section called a "scrapbook" where you can place photos and text.
Because I'm like you (sometimes can't visualise imaginary people), I go to dating sites, image comparison sites like hot-or-not, facebook, or sometimes just google image search and find pictures of REAL people (not models or actors) that look like my characters. That way, when I need to describe them, I can just look at them.
No one ever sees those photos but me, but it really does help me make the characters more concrete if I can see the little details about their faces and expressions.
The best books I've read hardly describe their characters looks at all and leave the reader to form an impression based on how the character behaves.
Your wife has it when she says ...
"that is the person who sold me a lollipop when I went to the county fair in 1985 but now they have orange hair."
So best to leave a lot of the details in your series bible out of the novel itself.
Now in real life it would be helpul ! Although people might be offended when you start to look them up in you life series bible -
Hi Nathan
Sorry?
It's John
hang on...
O yes page 23 - ugly looking neigbour from No 42, boring and tedious, divorced 3 times and drinks cocktails at 7 in the morning whilst mowing front lawn ...
Hi John
Hey! A fellow prosopagnosiac.
I've been criticised for not describing my characters' faces in detail, but then when I read such details in other people's writing I end up skimming - I never get a mental image of what the character looks like forming: they're just wasted words to me.
The best test I've found (so far) to see if you suffer face blindness?* Watch an episode of America's Next Top Model and then try to match the photos to the models - I get confused every time they change their hair for the photoshoot.
*Research suggests that 1 in 20 people suffers from prosopagnosia. Scary, huh?
It's a good idea to put together a series lexicon, too, especially if you use any coined or colloquial terms. I include in mine how characters' names are spelled and what nicknames I've used for them.
You'll find that in a chronological series with recurring characters you're soon juggling a lot of info, and sometimes naming details and spellings slip off the radar. In mine I have to incorporate at least 50+ individual descriptions, personality traits, backstories, etc. by book three or four, at which point I stop remembering middle names, whose name changed after a marriage, etc.
My very first writing teacher encouraged us to create a profile for each character introduced, no matter how minor, and also to maintain a list of important information about our world - even if it was this world - so we would have the information we needed without having to search for it. I still use both of these along with my version of an outline "stuff that needs to happen". I don't think I could write novels without those tools.
I've done this. The best part of it is getting all of the back story out of your head and onto paper. That way you won't bore your reader, and yet, you're world has a history. And characters can reference this history without great detail. It makes it all the more real.
One of the reasons I've started using Scrivener. I wish I'd had it ages ago!
I always do the Series Bible thing, which I did not know had a name. They are invaluable when you write stories with complex worldbuilding like speculative fiction generally has.
N.
knowing you watched "Lost" last night makes this a really relevant post to me.
I hope it doesn't fall apart because I've been very slowly working my way forward from the beginning after having backed up several times to catch up, then moved all the way forward from different season intervals studying the conflict introduction and levels of each characters awareness of the depth of the unfolding; studying what is real by the world builders rules and what is drawn from their (characters) imaginations imagery sets.
I use character studies from real life which is a crutch developed before electronic retrieval. I take so much time developing my equipment and rules that they become burned into my memory.
I live in the world I build, thats part of the draw and brain high for me that makes writing my favorite art form.
I still use a bible for stuff/formulas that are revealed as foreshadowing in a folder called "keypages" also a "keyevents" folder for stuff that must happen as promised earlier to move the plot forward and muddy up each cooperating and competing characters understanding of the depth of trouble they may be in.
Thanks for
checklist:
Sam Hranac (...)
Melissa; dropbox
http://tinyurl.com/y6hbfbz
Also suggestions
New Novelist 2.0
Liquid Story Binder
Personal wiki
http://www.ljcohen.net/resources-wiki.html
My core characters I keep in the same age bracket and supporting cast are younger or older but not stated. People rarely know other peoples ages until friendship occurs.
I'll find a way to book mark this or use acrobat to downlaod.
Great suggestions by everyone.
In my current WIP, one of my characters changed eye color within the same page. Written on the same day. I don't think I was drinking at the time... At any rate, that convinced me I needed a series bible and I started one that day.
Your client Natalie Whipple was talking about character sheets the other day and I was like: Am I the only dork who hears that term and thinks dungeons and dragons?
No, Matthew, you are not. I started making character sheets before I had ever heard of D&D, but I began referring to them as character sketches or snapshots, etc. after I became aware of role playing games.
verification - werbs: words which can be used as verbs, but aren't always. Conversely, what happens when you verb a noun (ex: scrap booking *shudders*)
Nice picture! The Gothic edition of JACOB WONDERBAR, no doubt?
But JACOB WONDERBAR #2? No, Nathan. JACOB WONDERBAR AND THE COSMIC SPACE KERRANG. JACOB WONDERBAR BEYOND THE COSMIC SPACE KAPOW. JACOB WONDERBAR BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE COSMIC SPACE KAPOW (WITH APES). THE COSMIC SPACE KAPOW STRIKES BACK!
Free corndog with every copy. Although if Amazon still can't bundle paper with E-books there could be problems...
By: Nathan Bransford,
on 5/3/2010
Blog: Nathan Bransford (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Future of Publishing, Add a tag
Yes yes, it's time for my obligatory iPad review! Sure, you've read a million of them ever since the wireless-only iPads came along last month as I waited for the 3G version, but you haven't read a review WHERE THE IPAD IS HELD FOR RANSOM BY DERANGED MUTANTS.
Actually that didn't happen. This really is just another review.
First of all, the all-important question: is this a game-changer for the world of books???
Yes. Kind of. I think so. I don't know.
In my opinion the iPad is a pretty radically awesome e-reader and I love reading on it almost but not quite as much as life itself. It is awesome to read on. During the day. At night. On the couch. On the bus. I zoomed through THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING like I was being chased by ringwraiths, downloaded THE TWO TOWERS faster than you can say "mellon," and yes, I started acting like Gollum when my wife wanted her turn with it. PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSS.
However, the iPad is also a pretty radically expensive e-reader and holy cow is it kind of distracting to be able to access so many shiny things with a few clicks while you're reading. (It is the best interface for reading e-mail ever).
Let's break this down with e-book reading in mind:
OVERALL PROS AND CONS
Pros: The screen is incredibly crisp and clear, and no matter which e-reading app you're using the page turns are smooth. Even better, you can adjust the brightness of the screen in all the apps, and some reading apps have a night function where the background is black and the text is white so it's much easier on the eyes to read in the dark.
Cons: It's not the really-looks-like-paper e-ink you find with the Sony Reader, Kindle, and Nook, which I realize bothers some people, so you should decide which type of screen you like. I personally vastly prefer the iPad/iPhone screens because there's no flicker when you turn pages, there's color, and I like not having to worry about a nightlight. But the iPad isn't as good as e-ink in the sun, and it's also heavier than the Kindle, so it's tricky to read with one hand (which is a consideration for bus/subway riders).
THE BOOK APPS
Meanwhile, as has been well-documented on this blog, there is also a book app war afoot on the iPad - publishers have moved over to an agency model for selling e-books, in part, in order to open up the marketplace to other e-book vendors.
But wouldn't you know: in my opinion Amazon has a substantial early lead in the iPad book App wars, even if iBooks and Kobo also have nice apps and they all will likely improve greatly in the coming months/years.
The best thing about Apple's iBooks is that it has the most beautiful display - WINNIE THE POOH comes free, and the colors of the illustrations pop. Apple has knocked the page-turning animation out of the park, and the pages curl beautifully when you turn the pages. You can also choose between several different attractive fonts, if that's your thing. And for all those people frustrated that Kindle doesn't have page numbers: iBooks does.
However, iBooks lacks some key options that are really important to the e-book reading experience. There's no night reading option (though you can dim the brightness), there's no note-taking ability, and while I gather this functionality
I read today that Apple has sold one million ipads in the first month - double the iphone sales when it first came out. (Yea for me! I was smart enough to buy Apple stock years ago. Grin)
I have been against this whole e-reader thing, throwing a fit every time you or someone else blogs about it. And yet I can't live in denial about it anymore. Even my eighty-year-old father bought a kindle recently. AND HE LOVES IT.
I give up. The e-age is upon us. Long live the e-book. I guess. Whatever.
I have to say I love my iPad, but not as an ebook reader.
(Then again, I love my light, compact, no-distractions eInk device, and have learned to click 'turn' a fraction of a second before I actually need the page to turn).
I think the iPad will change what content creators do with 'books'. If you look at the Pixar Toy Story 'book', with its games and video clips, I think that's where the iPad will change things.
Watch out for those mutants, though.
Thanks for the review, Nathan. Very informative.
My husband and I are getting one and I'm pretty excited. I too miss color book covers (Kindle).
Just FYI I reviewed the Secret Year today over at my blog.
I don’t need and iPad, but want it – badly.
I love the Kindle App on my iPhone and I thought I’d love the Kindle – wrong! It arrived this weekend and it’s going back. It needs to be a little more PDF friendly , a little easier to organise and how about some colour. Since I’ll never be able to justify an iPad maybe I’ll get a Sony Reader instead.
One more score for the iPad is an app for magazines, I believe it's Zinio (I'd have to check to make sure). It's amazing and the color makes all the difference in the world.
We bought one for work. It feels very fragile to me. It's slippery and all that glass...man, I'd hate to see that thing hit the deck. Unlike with my iPhone, which is very easy to hold, the iPad seems like it wants to jump out of my hands. Maybe it's better with a case of some sort.
yeah, IMO the Winnie the Pooh was the best book on there. Admittedly, I'm not a fan (of any electronic readers) but the picture book actually worked.
Text wise - and I looked at it in an Apple store, so it wasn't the longer, more immersive experience you describe - it was, eh. Maybe it's a matter of acclimation, but the expandable nature of the text (thus, pages) didn't work for me. There's something about a logical process of turning the page. Yes, I know, just get used to bigger / smaller type faces.
The apps weren't really too compelling either. I don't play device games, as is, and checking the weather is of limited interest. Actually, I wish these devices were a bit larger. The MacBook screen is perfect. For me, there's something to having space outside the window, if that makes any sense.
I'm curious what you think about the Atlantic Monthly's paper / virtual dance (there's a piece on the Millions about it, & how they've progressively anticipated and shead - shed?)
I read so much on-line these days, and have started noticing typos galore. Plus, content, because there's such a demand for it to drive page views & so forth, is starting to blend together. "More" seems to be trending towards poorer quality.
Which makes me think, as compelling as these devices are, if the gestation period built into print is eventually rendered obsolete - and it seems to be heading that way - ugh. This gives me a headache.
But I liked your review!
My new iPad just sold me on ebooks. I love reading on it, and now can't imagine *not* having it on hand. The iBooks app will mature and become more and more useful, as will the Kindle app. It's a win-win for both Apple and Amazon, from what I can tell, as I've already purchased more books from Amazon than Apple.
I write, so I love dead-tree books and always will. But having caught ebook fever now, I'm certain probably 75% of my book purchases will now be ebooks. The new world is here, for better or worse.
mark-
Yeah, I got Apple's case along with it and feel much more comfortable about the prospect of dropping it. It is pretty clever and folds over so you can prop it up in a couple of different angles, but the drawback is that the edges are kind of sharp so it's not totally comfortable to hold in your hands.
Thanks for the magazine tip, I can't wait until the New Yorker app comes out.
anon-
Interesting thoughts, and I don't disagree with it. I think the Atlantic is probably a vision of the future - a free-ranging daily experience of bloggers and yes, typos and the occasional ill-thought out argument combined with a slick and polished magazine (hopefully soon available nicely electronically) full of brilliant in-depth articles.
I don't think a shift to e-publishing has to be met with a decline in quality, but we'll see what happens.
Anonymous, a columnist from the Atlantic recently used a picture from my blog. He referenced it, but didn't ask permission to use it. I wonder if the in-print version would have done that. Lots of people visited my blog from his online column.
On the subject of lesser quality, the e-readers are really opening up the self-publishing doors. Not only are unpublished writers publishing ebooks right and left, but published authors are also giving it a go. There's an interesting NPR piece which highlights this phenomenon and how the ipad may open the door wider, it can be found here:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125503109
T-u-r-t-l-e POWER!
Okay, yes, I took that mutant thing too far. But electrothingamajiggies make my head hurt. :)
Nathan:
Thanks for the review. I've been wanting to hear more from pub professionals on it.
Since 95% of my Kindle usage is for reading client material and submissions, I was really hoping the iPad could revolutionize the way I work. If there were a "track changes" function in Pages, I would be sold. I'm frequently frustrated with having to skim through my clients' manuscripts to insert changes after I've already read it on my Kindle.
I'm also still frustrated with the lack of page numbers. Do Word document page numbers and formatting correspond to Pages when you convert files to read them?
Do you like using the iPad for work purposes?
kim-
I'm frustrated by the lack of track changes on Pages as well, though this weekend I downloaded a manuscript into Pages and it worked really well. It's a little awkward to scroll through the document (the scrolling isn't completely smooth and I wanted to turn off the keyboard), but it got the job done.
I'm counting on Pages getting better or a better word processing coming along, but in the meantime it's been working fine. It's definitely more convenient than trying to take notes on the Kindle, and it's really nice to have both e-mail and Word processing in one place in a portable device.
kim-
Oh - and yes, the page numbers corresponded and so it was easy to keep up with where you are in the manuscript.
Thanks for the insight.
Hmmmm..... The page number correspondence is big for me. Still, I'll probably wait until they improve on Pages...or at least until my Kindle dies. :)
Nathan, does the iPad have the cursor-directed on-board Dictionary that I love so much on my Kindle?
Hmmm...so far, of the straight eReaders I've seen, I liked the Nook the best. But I'm a huge Apple fan. I'm wondering how good a road-warrior the iPad will be (I have a really old iBook for travel that is both dying and a brick). Maybe with a docking keyboard?
eBook-wise, I feel like I'm still waiting for the device that has the functionality I want. But I may make do with an iPhone in the meantime.
I played with an iPad at the Mac store recently and really liked it, but don't neeeeeed it. My husband, of course, wants the $899 version, while I just want to read a book. I don't know that I will get one, although my 68 year old mother wants one, just because you can make the font size really large and the screen is lit and she doesn't see well. I may have to laugh if she gets one first!
Thanks for a great review!
ed-
No, the Kindle App doesn't have a dictionary, nor does Kobo (or at least if they do I haven't figured out how to activate them). iBooks does though.
I'll be watching the progression of the iPad with great curiousity.
One of my favorite features of my Kindle is the ability to email my manuscript and have it show up looking (and reading) like a real book. I catch so many more errors or awkwardness when I'm really reading it, and not just going through it in Word.
A tech whiz friend of mine who has to have everything concurred with some reviews I have read: it's great for content delivery, but content creation is another story.
While I would love the color for newspaper and magazine subscriptions, a couple things keep me on the Kindle.
1. the iPad's 3G subscription ain't cheap (from what I hear)
2. when I doze off in bed with my Kindle propped on my chest it hits my chin and wakes me up, but I think the iPad would chip a tooth.
Still, as someone who said he'd never read e-books, I definitely have come to love their convenience. Full speed ahead!
i'm not interested in the ipad, i also don't have an iphone or even and ipod. and i get along fine without them. it seems ridiculously expensive and for no good reason- i don't really need to be able to play games or look at maps while i'm reading so i'm not going to pay extra for the privilege
Nathan,
This is the best review of the iPad I've seen. Thank you!
interesting post about it though! forgot to mention that bit :)
I'm liking the iPad for a cat toy. Go iCat! Not my personal iPad (I've got a nook), mind you, but someone else's. :)
My PRECCIOOOOUSSS...
Did you actually get onto Book Three,
THE RETURN OF THE KING
before that magical iPad was whisked out of your hands....or did your spouse slip on the RING and do a Gollum-like runner with that shiny new object...before you managed to slip into Mordor...?
Just asking!
I can't quite figure out the appeal of an iPad over a netbook, especially for writers. I can't read books on my netbook, but I can write, it's light and portable, it's connected to the internet, and it cost less than $300. Maybe I'm missing something?
We have an iPad and I rarely use it. I would much rather use a keyboard for writing and read a real paper book. The back lit screen is hard on my eyes and I love writing notes in my books. It'll take a lot to convert this diehard paper book fan to an eReader.
mjr-
I think it's a matter of preference - I find the iPad much more pleasant to curl up with than a Netbook and so it really disappears into your hands a lot more while reading/watching movies/surfing the Internet. The display is also better than most Netbooks I've seen. I just think it depends on your priorities.
It's all about price-point with something like this unfortunately. $899 for the top model? How many books do you have to buy, saving $5-10 each, before it pays for itself? By then, it'll be obsolete and you'll need a new one.
I'm holding out from buying an e-reader purely because I think they're still overpriced. As they become more widespread, the prices will drop and you'll be able to get a kindle or equivalent for $100 or less. Call me a late adapter, but that's when I'll make my move.
I don't hate paper books so much (or at all) that I'm willing to pay more overall for electronic reading.
On the deranged mutants front, I would strongly recommend against buying Plants vs Zombies unless you're willing to give up other aspects of your life.
Hmm, personally I don't think the iPad is worth the money, plus I've heard some cons such as the screen is so shiny that your own reflection often distracts you from what you're reading/watching on the ipad. xD But then again, I'm not a big fan of e-books and e-reading in general, and I'm sure that the iPad has other nice functions besides being an e-book reader. :)
~TRA
http://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com
I think I would have drooled over the iPad if my hubby had not gotten me a netbook. I use it as an ereader, as a writing tool, and it fits in my purse, *trust me, that's cool*.
I read with my iphone all the time but I can't say I want to go out and buy an ereader just for books.
Of course, if I happen to try one in person, the drooling might start!
I can see you crouched in the corner, gently stroking your iPad.
"So bright. So beautiful. Our preciousss."
iPads look very good, but I agree that they're a nice-to-have.
Within a few months, we'll know how iPad withstands the test of consumer use. By that time, I might reconsider.
As for the mutants -- they aren't all bad, nor are they all deranged. Kind of a sneaky hook. . .
Waiting for it to become available in the UK and with note taking capability, by which time it will no doubt be lighter too - aka the iPod progress. Question is, will it be on the market in time for this year's stocking and if so, how good do I have to be for Santa to say yes?
I love a blog post with multiple LOTR references! Glad you're having fun with the iPad.
I love a blog post with multiple LOTR references! Glad you're having fun with the iPad.
I have to admit, I felt inclined to stop by the Nook display at B&N today.
This is not the first time I've considered these types of devices, but every time I get close to purchasing one I imagine myself lying in bed flipping the darn machine over and over just to satisfy my urge to physcially turn the page.
I don't know if I'm ready for the eBook world.
Gypsyroz-
What's funny is that after reading ebooks for a while your temptation is to tap the edge of a paper book rather than turning it.
At first I didn't think I wanted one. But the more I hear, the more I'm thinking about it.
I have a bunch of apps on my 'pad, but use it almost exclusively for reading, with a little solitaire thrown in. The main lack I see is physically copying files off the device. Yes, you can get them off wirelessly, but sometimes you're not near your other computers. You'd hate to edit somebody's ms and then break or lose the iPad with the edited file on it, I bet. I'm getting something called an Air Stash that's a wireless drive, but it ain't cheap -- approx $100.
Nathan, I think you need an app designed to make the jobs of agents and editors easier. I bet one or more will come. iRep!
I'll be interested to hear what you think after having spent some more time with it.
I've had mine for a few weeks now, and my experience and opinion have really changed since I first got my hands on it (all for the better).
Some of the coolness and utility of the device definitely isn't apparent at first blush. I've been surprised how good it is for note taking, or more free form thinking, especially now that dedicated apps are starting to appear.
I still wouldn't try to write a novel on it, but it's definitely had a bigger impact than I initially expected it to.
You forgot one very important difference between a Kindle and an iPad. Battery life. The gorgeous backlit screen comes at a cost. It eats electrons!
I would love to hear what the real world experience is with battery life for both. My guess is that ten days of hard use is possible on one charge with a Kindle and you would be lucky to get more than one day out of an iPad. That can be a serious bummer if you are on a weekend trip or a long flight to Asia with no power cord.
Henry-
That's true. I get about 9-10 hours out of the iPad, which is enough for most days but peobably not enough for a very long plane ride without a plug.
Andrew - interesting to hear your reactions. From what I saw, definitely some substance there. Especially as writing apps are developed.
Hmmmm...I'm a longtime e-book adversary but an Apple supporter. I played with an iPad in the Apple store a few weeks ago and a very nice young man (geez-I sound like I'm eighty) answered a ton of questions for me. He even showed me how to read on it (I read a few pages of The Help). It was really fun - really, really fun. Hmmm....
The iBooks app is coming to the iPhone with the next...OS thing. I think it's OS 4.0, but I might be off by a decimal point or two.
When my husband first got the iPad, I wasn't convinced. I was holding out for a Sony or Nook, but once he started buying books...
Now it's almost a custody battle, who gets possession which day, who has more down time and theoretically more time to enjoy the iPad.
I still run into people who use the argument there's nothing like the feel of a real book. But when you commonly read 3-4 books a day, an ereader is so much easier to fit into a bag or backpack!
I just shudder at the future of e-textbook prices.
@ Henry, 6:13pm:
Battery life of Kindle is (approximately) 10x as long... Here's a link to CNET comparison
There's also another good comparison of the eBook products HERE
Then there's the coming iPad competition here.
For me professionally, nothing has changed what I do as quickly as the iPad. Within weeks of its release, I received project requests asking for QuickTime files instead of Flash files so that students could watch the videos on their iPads if they wanted. Educational publishing never adapts that quickly. Ever. The iPad is being treated as a big f*ing deal.
I think I'll stick to my iPod Touch.
I don't need the iPad. If I ever got one, I'd probably just want to make fun of the name. So yeah. I'll stick to my iPod Touch.
Thanks for the review Nathan.
I've been waiting on this actually. You bring up some interesting disparity between all the e-readers. My feeling about the advanced features though, is the same as for all of them.
Why do you need a book to do more than offer you a good read? I mean, if you don't expect a paperback to surf the net and make phone calls and be handy for opposable thumbs and you're willing to shell out near thirty bucks for a long awaited hard back; why are we quibbling about the price of an electronic book or the fact we can't send twitter messages to the universe about the passage we're reading while we're on the page?
What I want in an e-reader is something with the megabytes (yes, my computer literacy is showing) to hold all the books I want to buy and read.
My two book shelves are limited. I have to give away books sometimes because I don't have the space to add another book shelf to the apartment. At any given moment, I probably have over $3,000 in paper books of any form. I miss my purchased books every time I have to clean off the shelves to make room for more; whether they cost me $1.99 or $35.
So, give me something I keep every book I've ever bought, and pack it in my purse for convenience, and I could care less that it doesn't update me on Nathan's latest post the moment its available to read.
.........dhole
Nathan, your post some time about how you preferred reading on your iPhone to the eInk readers inspired me to set up my Droid for ereading. I'm loving it, and don't really see the need for a separate ereader at all.
It's just too bad that there's nowhere to buy DRM-free books for the best reader on Android, Aldiko, and the only app where you can buy modern books is Kobo's old Shortcovers, which even they admit is outdated.
I don't expect Apple to make an Android app, but Google, B&N, Amazon--come on, guys!
I love mine with a white hot passion. Also I've bought more books in the past two weeks than I usually do in a month. When I am out and someone mentions that you have to read book x, I download right then and theree justifying that the per book cost is lower. I'll be interested to see impact on book sales.
I don't write my books on it, but I love it for reading, organizing projects and marketing and general time wasting on the Internet.
Thanks for the review. It's really helpful to have a review from your perspective, vs. the broad techhie perspective.
WINNIE THE POOH comes free !
Interesting choice, I wonder what the target audience is for the ipad.
I'm planning on waiting for iPad 2.0 next year with most likely a front facing camera.
I don't have an e-reader of any kind, but I would think not being able to read outside in the sunlight is a major drawback.
Makes me wonder what it offers the reading experience that I don't already have with my little netbook ...
I have to be honest, I stopped purchasing Apple products due to the proprietary nature of the company. I just couldn't agree with some of the things they do. The iPad does look pretty cool, however, I am looking forward to Notion Ink's Adam which has a brand new screen technology that makes it adjustable as both an E-Ink-like reader and an LCD screen. Notion Ink. Adam. Google it.
I don't get the big deal about colored pages. Whenever I buy a hardcover, I immediately take off the sleeve and throw it in the trash. The first reason is because I find it cumbersome. The other reason is because I hate it when illustrators (or even the author) tries to tell me what characters, settings, and such look like through an actual physical picture.
Cool. When you start channeling Gollum, you're really in the spirit of the books.
It's interesting to hear your take on the I-Pad. There's no way I can justify spending that kind of money right now, so I'll have to content myself with yearning at a distance.
I never really believed that a gadget could change your life until I got the I-phone. How I managed to survive without that is beyond my comprehension. I'm sure someday I'll feel the same way about the I-Pad or something similar!
I hope you'll let us know what you think as the kinks get worked out.
I agree with Mesmerix. I think Apple products are too closed and proprietary in nature for me. I can, however, see why people like it. I have a Nook and love it. The Adam looks like it may be worth a try.
I'm looking for a small computer, not a big phone. To me, there is a difference.
I saw the Nook advertised this morning on TV. I wonder if they are all going to start promoting now that ipad is out.
Zzzzzzzzzzz . . .
Wait, wait, wait! Does this mean that mutants are the new zombies (which are the new vampires, hello!)? Just checking!
I got to play with an iPad on Friday and must say I did love it. My husband has informed me in no uncertain terms that I must wait for my Kindle to fizzle before he'll let me get one for the sole purpose of being an e-reader...but since he's a gadgety guy, I may have him on the "lookit all the other stuff it does!" front.
But it's going to take Mother's Day, my birthday AND Christmas for, mmmm, the next three years in order for me to get one.
Sounds like you think it's worth it though, Nathan! Thanks for the review :)
I would think tools like the iPad and such will make graphic novels more popular, or at least usher in a hybrid of sorts that uses more visual story-telling and possibly the Internet in an innovative, interactive way. The novel may become something far more, erm, novel in the future.
As for buying something like this when new and used books will come to me in the mail for less than $10? Unfortunately, the iPad's too far down on my list of expensive toys I don't need. :P
Thank you for the compare-contrast of this with the Kindle. I'm still debating which eReader to invest in.
The video of the cat playing with the iPad is definitely in the iPad's favor, as is your review. I like my handheld devices backlit.
Really liked your review - very balanced.
I LOVE the 2-page layout in iBooks - that's one of my favorite things! To me, reading in landscape on one page is like reading in portrait on a shorter page with the words stretched out. I feel like the 2-page offers me more of a choice. I know -- all I'm getting out of it is just being slightly closer to the real book experience, but I guess that's enough for me.
The iBooks app is my favorite for reading, and I also like Kobo. Not a big Amazon fan, so I don't have that, but B&N should have their app ready this month from what I've read. I read that they redesigned it - it's not just a bigger iPhone app.
I don't have a smartphone or Touch - this just seemed to be the right time to me to jump in on this sort of thing. And I expected it to just be for fun -- allow me to catch up on blogs and email while I'm out of the house, and then I can sit down to work on my laptop when I get home. But I really could work on this thing -- if only Pages would track changes!!! Maybe one of these updates...
The PRECIOUSSS comment nearly made me fall out of my chair - my husband says that to me all the time about his gadgets. Hilarious. Thanks for breaking it down for us :)
Blasphemy!
Seriously, though, I love my Kindle. Not just for the e-ink, but I think an iPad would distract me from reading books cause there are too many other things to do with it.
Did you have another e-reader before this one or was this your first one?
zoe-
I've had a Kindle, Sony Reader, iPhone and now iPad. Kindle wins for clearest e-ink display (though I prefer backlit screens to the grayscale of e-ink), I liked Sony's touchscreen display and the nightlight was indispensable, iPhone worked great, iPad works better.
I liked them all and my shoulders and back appreciate not having to lug around books and boxes of manuscripts these past couple of years, but I like iPad the best. I'm basically using it as a second computer at work.
I've been waiting for this review, Nathan! Thank you so much for the great info. I can buy one with confidence now. : )
Crap, that's a lot of e-readers! I like the grayscale because my favorite way to read is outside in the sunshine and I've found the e-ink displays awesome for that. Much easier to read the Kindle in the sunlight then even a print book since the print books pages are too bright for direct sunlight, reflects.
Why don't the publishing companies just start making their own e-book readers and sell from their own websites?
I'm so glad you're reading the Lord of the Rings.
E-books are not better than the real thing. They are not books they are words on a screen. i would rather hold pages in my hands any day over a heavy screen. Sorry. my opinion.
and great post !!!
PAY THE RANSOM BEFORE WE DERANGED MUTANTS CAST THE I-PAD INTO THE LAVA! WE HATES IT! WE HATES IT!
Tyra Banks? I think I might be sick.
At least Tyra Banks actually reads children's literature (according to the December 2009 issue of INSTYLE magazine, a la the Upstart Crow blog), and isn't just picking the hottest genre on the market. And at least I can now say, with complete authority, that I'm a better writer than a soon-to-be-published author:)
I checked out her website's post about it, and she seemed to delight in being coy about the details, even character names. Sounds like she's still in that early-writer stage of thinking it's the idea - and not the execution - that's most important.
All shall cower before the Bontesuarus!!! It eats overly commercial model fiction for breakfast and uses the twig-figured heroines to pick its teeth.
(Watch out for that Anne, Tyra. She looks fiercer than fierce.)
Nathan:
So happy to have FNL back, but just doesn't seem right to have Coach Taylor wearing red.
She got a 3-book deal with Random House. So I guess they liked her idea A LOT. What a load of pressure for an early-writer stage. I'm sure she'll manage, after all she is fierce.
Kim-
Coach Taylor: "You don't like it THEN GET OUT OF MY HOUSE GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!" (everyone leaves)
Hahaha.. I'm actually really liking the East Dillon plot, I'm so excited about this season. But yeah - it's jarring to see him wearing red.
Everyone thinks they can be a writer.
What do you mean, pudding not included?!!!
Most Excellent Post, Mr. Bransford.
The lessson of the Tyra Banks deal is the importance of branding. If you already ARE a brand then you only have to put together a readable book. If you want your writing to MAKE you a brand, then it had better be crackerjack bloody awesome.
I also read another report (sorry, can't find the link anymore) about Tyra getting pretty upset because Sarah Palin came out with a book the same day and Tyre says she did it on purpose. Very Cranky! Don't know how true that is, but I wonder why she would think a 'political figure' would want to storm on her parade? Doesn't she have better things to worry about??
And, AWESOME video! Where can I get those dolls, erm, I mean, action figures? =)
Woops, I meant TYRA, not Tyre =) innocent mistake =)
RE: FNL--I enjoyed the overenthusiastic assistant coach. Copycat yelling behind Coach Taylor.
Also, is Landry really only a senior? Seems like these kids spend way too many years in high school.
I will never ever ever ever ever read ModelLand. Or that Hill's girl's book. Or anything with prom in the title.
I'm looking forward to Tyra's series because it will be amazingly entertaining no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. As will anything written by the Gawker commenter.
Those e-reader stats are fantastic! I wonder if they'll hold true.
Man in Black doesn't need a name because it's ~mysterious~ or something. Or maybe they're saving it for a "goodbye, ____" moment if and when he dies (at which point it will probably be underwhelming no matter what name they choose. We waited that long for "Josh"?!) Ahh, I love Lost.
I very much agree with the point about authority.
I am basically to excited for the Tyra book to even survive. Haters gotta hate, whatever.
But it's going to be FIERCE.
Ahem, *too* excited. I do know words, I swear.
Tyra is out to be the next Oprah, so watch out world!
And yes, I am planning to buy an e-reader and am currently debating the pros and cons of the kindle/nook/ipad options. And now Borders is going to have their own thing? Sheesh.
Cool. These look like a fun bunch of links. As always, Nathan, thanks you.
But first, the video. That is the greatest thing ever. Girl power! Yay! At first I was worried the Bronte Sisters wouldn't win. They were battling against such terrible evil - but then they pulled it out! What a story twist! I never saw that coming - who knew they could turn into a giant dinosaur! I sure didn't. Boy, they are good writers.
So....um, I hope that was funny. I want it to be funny, because I zeroed in and got completely fixated on a very important new concept in this post - which is that if people write funny posts, they should query Nathan immediately. Boy oh boy. It crossed my mind that I wouldn't mind having Nathan as an agent, he seems pretty cool, so I'd be happy to query him after writing a post. Any time. Just let me know. Really.
So, I'll have to go read the rest of the post now.
Honestly, in seriousness, the Tyra thing makes me alittle nervous. I'm sure the books will be great. She won't write them, of course, or if she does, they'll be heavily edited. I just worry about the effect on young girls. I hope it's not about women being defined only by looks.
Well, if it is, fortunately the girl power of the Bronte sisters will balance that out.
Okay, off to read the links. Have a great weekend.
Oh, and that was a good comment by Ink. I like his blog too - he's doing a cool thing on his blog with flash fiction. Very fun.
Okay, bye.
I love the "Aveda Kedavra" comment someone left in response to the Tyra Potter spoof.
And I'm willing to give Tyra the benefit of the doubt, until I read the book at least. Love her or hate her, she did build a pretty good career for herself.
Thanks for re-posting Ink's comment, I missed it the first time. And I do respect his authori-tie...
I remember when they signed Joan Collins to write a novel.
Who knows? Maybe Tyra can pull it off better than Joan did. For her sake, I hope she can.
Authority IS key. That was a great comment.
Oh, wow, I thought the Intoxibellas part was made-up too! But it's, it's NOT. Wow.
Hahahahahaha! Brontesaurus! BRILLIANT! I would like to see a Branwell Brontë doll too, complete with a bottle of booze in a paper bag.
The books in the photo in the NYT self-pub article have CORRUGATED CARDBOARD covers!
Self-publishing didn't work for me. I put the manuscript on the pavement outside my house one night, but nobody was interested. I didn't leave it long, of course. Someone could have tripped over it and sued me.
The Publishing Trends article about the rise of hardcover YA series does not surprise me. I have already praised Scott Westerfeld's LEVIATHAN in a comment here, both as story and physical book.
The Bronte Sister Action Dolls are great, but Anonymous 11:32 pm is right. Why is the pudding not included?
Thrilled FNL is back--even though I watched it all on DTV in the fall. I plan to watch it again on NBC.
I so want an e-reader. I have the Kindle app for my netbook, but I don't think it's quite the same experience. I do love how easy it is to get a book. Literally one click and it's on my netbook. I bought three today for $0.99. I specifically went looking for books that might have been by authors not traditionally published. I want to check out the quality.
The Bronte action figures rock! I just want to see a Mr. Rochester doll--post Thornfield Hall fire. Every Barbie needs her Ken! (What was UP with those girls and men?)
The Bronte sisters were pretty "catalog," so that's good enough for me.
Best. Video. Ever.
Thanks, Nathan. I guess third time's the charm. :)
And I totally have to read the Brontes now. They have much more dino power than I expected. And boomerang books... I think that says it all.
So I'm reading the Tyra novel comment of the day and it is definitely the beginning of the first Harry Potter book?
But I'm guessing everyone else already noticed that.
I am seriously excited for MODELLAND! I told all my friends... who mysteriously didn't share my enthousiasm... or so they pretended. I could see they weren't sneering with their eyes, after all.
Dear Nathan,
Thanks for all you do. I just posted some of these links to my blog. I hope that is okay.
With gratitude,
Diane
Genuinely amusing.Perma-smirk as I read the Tyra banks rant.
http://jostorm.blogspot.com/
More celebrity books? Can't say I'm excited about the two new celebrity books mentioned in your weekly wrap-up. Fame is the trump.
Enjoyed Rachelle's post on the pitch, she had some great points. Will check a few more of the links over the weekend.
Enjoy reading Return of the King, Nathan.
I love reading every article you write, but today's was especially good.
I was laughing so loud in Coffee Bean while reading about Tyra people began looking at me.
Needless to say, I have re-tweeted your commentary because brilliance deserves to be shared.
Keep 'em coming. So enjoyable to read.
Please tell me you started with The Hobbit. Please!
Loved the video!
Bloody hell, that's funny!
God love those crazy celebs, eh? As much as any writer may hate them for being able to effortlessly get crap on the market (how much longer until literal crap is out there?) they make for a good laugh.
We can only hope her novel doesn't open with 13 of the first 16sentances having "was" as the verb....like in Twilight.
Too bad the Bronte dolls video is an oldie, very oldie--1998 oldie.
They would have been a hoot in today's market.
I hope Tyra didn't read this post. She'll be all kinds of upset to know you think there's OTHER publishing news this week.
And that excerpt was brilliant. Wish I could take credit!
Tyra Banks also barks and foams at the mouth like a rabid dog ... Perhaps she could do this at a book signing: Tyra Banks as rabid dog
I found the Mike Shatzkin link really uplifting... More readers and more book sales? Awesome.
The iPad might be the best thing that happened to the publishing biz since Oprah's Book Club.
about ereaders: My son (9 years old) earned his own kindle, which he loves and doesn't leave out of his sight. I love my ipad though, especially because there's a kindle app and I can read the books my son buys. With his own money.
No comments about Tyra Banks.
I want to be Herman Wouk when I grow up! However, I must ask how do writers with hand ailments, like arthritis, keep writing novels into their nineties?
Thank Spock the Headless Girl on YA Covers trend is, like, so over! I haaaaated that.
Best post yet - so funny. Thanks!
Re: The Tyra thing
*barf*
...I'm sorry, was that rude?
I hate that famous-person-writes-a-book crap. THAT'S when it's all about who you know and not what you know. Talk about unfair to other writers...
Must get in on spoof! Can’t resist!
EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT:
They were together in the armchair by this time, and Vera plied her with more questions.
“If you don’t live in Paris now—“
“ Sometimes I do still.”
“But where do you live mostly now?”
“With the Intoxibellas.”
“Who are they?”
“They are the fiercest of the fierce, the most beautiful of the beautiful, and have completed all their training at the most costly model schools. If they are not claimed by a top modeling agency in seven days they are sent far away to the Modelland to defray expenses. I’m captain.”
“What fun it must be!”
“Yes,” said cunning Tyra, “But we are rather lonely. You see we have no designers to dress us.”
“Are none of the others designers?”
“Oh no; designers, you know, are much too clever to go around expensive schools to find models.”
Does that sound familiar or am I really the only one who immediately thought of this book after reading Tyra’s concept?
Fast forward to release date and you will see me curled up in an armchair at Barnes and Noble—Modelland in hand—sipping a cappuccino. Yes, I can predict the future. And it looks FIERCE!
Thanks for the self-pub link, Nathan. I've been forced to think of my book as "handmade goods", and am working hard to make sure it's well up to snuff.
That said, I've still not ruled out querying, and am wondering if it would be appropriate to share the online marketing tools (website, blog, etc.) I've created. My thinking is it shows I'm willing to work hard to market myself, and it also helps get across the flavor of the book in a fun way. On the other hand, I'm concerned with falling into the trap of marrying my efforts to less than professional self-pub products.
Your thoughts? Anyone?
OMG, Nathan, your post had me snorting apple juice out of my nose. Seriously. I have to make a note never to read your blog while eating.
Thank you.
I can't stop laughing. Mr and Mrs Catalog, Tyra's Modelland or 'whatever' it's called and the Bronte Power Dolls! It's all too fiercely fabulous.
LOL @ Michele for this: "The Bronte action figures rock! I just want to see a Mr. Rochester doll--post Thornfield Hall fire. Every Barbie needs her Ken!"
Thank you for the laugh- to that I would humbly add: "Grace Poole Playset with Mrs. Fairfax sold separately. Lunatic wife figure with biting jaw action not for use with some sets. St.John Rivers' ego not included."
So, I've been thinking more about this authoritative voice thing.
If I say: 'Call me Ishmael', that means the reader has to call me Ishmael, right? Even if my name is Mira, they have to call me Ishmael because I said it with Great Authority.
Hmmmmm.
Does this work for other things? If I say authoritative things to my readers, do they have to do what I say? Is this a writing skill?
For example, let's say I wanted to get Nathan to do something. Just hypothetically.
Would I say: Nathan, I want you to do this.
Or should I say it more firmly: Nathan, do this!
Or maybe it would be best to cut to the chase: Nathan!!!!!!!
Just wondering. I want to improve my voice so it's...effective.