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People talk about attitudes every day. The subject is always revealing. This morning I came up against it yet again, but in a different way. Let me explain.

I was brushing my teeth a while ago when I heard the toilet flush. Ours is a split bath with the lavatory separate from tub and toilet. I was startled because I’d not noticed Sister moving past me, either going or coming back.

I immediately inquired if she’d done so, to which she said, “Of course!”

Color me surprised. I replied, “I must have been really focused, since I didn’t notice you walking past me.”

Her response was, “Oblivious would be a good choice of word, too.”

I’ll tell you what I told her. “I choose to take a positive stance on this one, rather than see it as negative.”

This whole exchange may sound silly, but it addresses an everyday choice we make as humans. I prefer to think of the episode as “being focused.” The opposite take is “being oblivious.” I was focused on what I was doing and what I was thinking at the time; which just happened to be what I was going to write for this blog post today.

Sister considered it as less aware. One the one hand, she’s correct. I was unaware of her presence behind me and of her proximate activity. From her perspective, what I was doing took little thought and, therefore, I should have noticed her movements.

At the same time, my perspective informs me of my concentrative ability to screen out irrelevant activity while working on the mental plane. This does not happen when I’m in unfamiliar terrain or in uncertain situations. I see it as indicative of how safe and secure I feel in my own home.

Different perspectives? Certainly. Different attitudes? Again, yes, though those attitudes are informed by expectations as well. My expectation was of safety in my home. Hers revolved around momentary awareness of my surroundings.

When we move around our world, we carry expectations, and perspectives based on them, with us and draw conclusions from those factors. Whether those conclusions are viewed as correct are, for wont of another explanation, dependent on how other individuals interpret those conclusions.

The behavior of the world’s populace is based on these factors. Until consensus of perspective arises, there can be little hope for consensus of behavior. At least, that’s how I see it.

If one small action—my brushing my teeth and not noticing someone move behind me—creates a schism between positive and negative interpretation, how much more dramatic are divisions surrounding vast actions?

Give me your thoughts on this question. How do you see perspective and its role in the daily behavior of those two-legged creatures called humans? Leave a comment below and join the discussion.

Until then, a bientot,

Claudsy

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0 Comments on Positive and Negative Perspectives as of 1/1/1900

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People talk about attitudes every day. The subject is always revealing. This morning I came up against it yet again, but in a different way. Let me explain.

I was brushing my teeth a while ago when I heard the toilet flush. Ours is a split bath with the lavatory separate from tub and toilet. I was startled because I’d not noticed Sister moving past me, either going or coming back.

I immediately inquired if she’d done so, to which she said, “Of course!”

Color me surprised. I replied, “I must have been really focused, since I didn’t notice you walking past me.”

Her response was, “Oblivious would be a good choice of word, too.”

I’ll tell you what I told her. “I choose to take a positive stance on this one, rather than see it as negative.”

This whole exchange may sound silly, but it addresses an everyday choice we make as humans. I prefer to think of the episode as “being focused.” The opposite take is “being oblivious.” I was focused on what I was doing and what I was thinking at the time; which just happened to be what I was going to write for this blog post today.

Sister considered it as less aware. One the one hand, she’s correct. I was unaware of her presence behind me and of her proximate activity. From her perspective, what I was doing took little thought and, therefore, I should have noticed her movements.

At the same time, my perspective informs me of my concentrative ability to screen out irrelevant activity while working on the mental plane. This does not happen when I’m in unfamiliar terrain or in uncertain situations. I see it as indicative of how safe and secure I feel in my own home.

Different perspectives? Certainly. Different attitudes? Again, yes, though those attitudes are informed by expectations as well. My expectation was of safety in my home. Hers revolved around momentary awareness of my surroundings.

When we move around our world, we carry expectations, and perspectives based on them, with us and draw conclusions from those factors. Whether those conclusions are viewed as correct are, for wont of another explanation, dependent on how other individuals interpret those conclusions.

The behavior of the world’s populace is based on these factors. Until consensus of perspective arises, there can be little hope for consensus of behavior. At least, that’s how I see it.

If one small action—my brushing my teeth and not noticing someone move behind me—creates a schism between positive and negative interpretation, how much more dramatic are divisions surrounding vast actions?

Give me your thoughts on this question. How do you see perspective and its role in the daily behavior of those two-legged creatures called humans? Leave a comment below and join the discussion.

Until then, a bientot,

Claudsy

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11 Comments on Positive and Negative Perspectives, last added: 6/1/2012

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Meena Rose said, on 5/30/2012 1:44:00 PM

That was a funny episode. What I found intriguing was you validating that it was indeed your sister. Some would have accepted the assumption and moved on and as a result would not have sparked that particular schism between positive and negative.

On to the topic of alertness and obliviousness, there are so of us who by virtue of our life story remain vigilant and alert. Many times we expect everyone else to be that way. Admittedly at times, we tsk tsk the less alert people.

Obliviousness on the other hand implies that alertness to the external environment is diminished. I have noticed this word pick up negative connotations in this day and age of information. Unaware is probably a safer word to use and does not carry the same severity and expectation.

claudsy said, on 5/30/2012 2:42:00 PM

Hey there, Meena. I don’t know that I felt the need to validate who the other person was, so much as to set tone for the experience. I think of words having an undercurrent of negative/positive be the tone used when hearing them voiced. Certain vocal tones connote one or the other to me.

And yes, one’s background does influence how one perceives either perception. I think such experience is also what drives much of animosity/discontent/misunderstanding between people.

The mind’s ability to pigeon-hole emotive stimuli, as often, depends on the vocal tone one hears during conversation as it does visual impression during said conversation or presentation. What a person hears can also be emotively influenced by expectations as perspective.

Circular, don’t you think?

Meena Rose said, on 5/30/2012 3:40:00 PM

I think of it more like a spiral of escalation as anxieties rise with each lap.

What is heard via tone is key as even the nicest words can be said in the most negative way.

claudsy said, on 5/30/2012 4:00:00 PM

So very true, my friend. A compliment can turn into ugly accusation in an inflection. All reaction has the potential to spiral up or down according to personal investment and perceived situational position.

Veronica Roth said, on 5/30/2012 8:40:00 PM

I’m one to talk; today my post was about unhappiness while listening to a program all about hppiness. My partner Robert would say that I’m forever seeing the negative side. It’s true, I’ve thought about it a lot…a lot… but honestly my one bad habit is I write scripts in my mind. You know, scripts which when they don’t turn out the way my brain programmed them, results in disappointment, sadness and negativity. I can def. take a note from your book and chose to see things in a more positive way, I’m trying, but it’s me…and I don’t do this easily. The good thing is I never raise my voice and I always try to take myself away to solitude to minimise the damaging effect I have on those around me.

claudsy said, on 5/30/2012 9:09:00 PM

Veronica, there are many people who can’t quite let go of an idea, regardless of whether that idea worked for them or not. You’re not that unusual in this trait. Perhaps you need to concentrate more on the good turns that the scripts make rather than that turns were made in the first place.

For instance: you’ve got a script about a relationship that’s not working too well–that’s the crisis driving the plot. The twist comes when she realizes that the relationship has always been a bit faulty and not secured on a solid foundation. At this point the main character has to decide whether she really feels the need to “save” the relationship by dumping lots of time and effort into its salvation, or to find out what her life could be like outside the relationship.

If this is the kind of script change that drives you bonkers, you might re-evaluate the situation by realizing that Muse has given you as realistic and plausible an alternative for your story line as possible, one that might actually give you a better story in the long run. Why? Because Muse got a really strong emotional response from you–a response that can be used to fuel it to make your work into a killer script that will be snapped up in a heartbeat.

This is an example of using the positive perspective twist to encourage good things in your everyday work. Just a thought.

cloudfactor5 said, on 6/1/2012 3:33:00 AM

“When we move around our world, we carry expectations, and perspectives based on them”
“This does not happen when I’m in unfamiliar terrain or in uncertain situations.”
By isolating these two sentences that you stated, I would say to you that it is exactly when we put ourselves in unfamiliar terrain and in uncertain situations and then let go of our expectations and perspectives that we stand at the very threshold of magic where the question then becomes do you really believe what you are seeing? This then becomes the starting point where real experience is possible, just look at Carlos Castaneda’s books as a good example of this. I have been there many times in my life when I actually had to question if what I was seeing was real because I was standing in a thick fog of magic. That was the big draw of the Grateful Dead, where people could just show up at concerts, take acid, and watch the known world melt away. What was left was the magical experience of a lifetime, which is why certain Indian tribes still use peyote as a most valid way to commune with god and why these drugs are outlawed because the government would be in deep shit if millions of people woke up to realize that in fact they were god! Which is something we can never know until we leave behind the expectations and perspective’s that are brainwashing our minds daily! So now we arrive at the point of safety, play it safe and you eliminate most possibility, but to quote Robert Hunter and Jerry Garcia in their amazing song “Terrapin Station” “I will not forgive you if you will not take the chance” So I say seize the day and wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world !!

claudsy said, on 6/1/2012 7:09:00 AM

Randy, it must just be me then. I’ve never gone anywhere that I recall where I haven’t had some type of expectation, even as a child. In fact, I’ve always heard people say things like “I never imagined anything like that, or I wouldn’t have guessed that this was here.” Surprise at a finding, yes, but there was an expectation, however nebulous, behind the statement; imagination came into the picture and guessing at a possible finding.

You’re very fortunate if you’ve gone anywhere during your life and experienced the wide-eyed innocence of a child within a different environment that your usual fare. I’d've loved to have done that. Perhaps my perspective comes from always having seen the world through eyes too old for my experience level. Or perhaps, it’s simply an expectation of the impossible made real that I’ve always believed in.

I can’t testify to dropping acid at a “Dead” concert, but tribal use of peyote is another matter. From my experience I know that it’s not usual for the average tribal member to use the drug indiscriminately, but rather for the medicine wielders and shaman to use it for vision clarification. I could be wrong, of course. Each tribal group is different in its practices. Peyote is powerful and does intensify one’s experience. Does it surprise and delight? Good question. For one who’s never heard of its effects, I’m sure that it does. For someone who has been briefed before hand, again expectations have arisen. The same can be said for the “Dead” concert and acid. Unless the person had been raised under a rock in someone’s north forty for all those formative years, he/she will have heard something about the affects of acid on the human brain, which returns us to the question of expectations, regardless of how nebulous they might be.

Or have I missed something here? Good discussion, Randy. Thank you.

cloudfactor5 said, on 6/1/2012 7:47:00 AM

Then you have never really gone on a true adventure. When I went to Europe the first time I didn’t even know if I would be able to find food or a place to sleep in some places, and came very close to failing in that respect, and ended up driving 6000 miles in 30 days !! Some of the greatest experiences of my life were when I just got in a car with a bunch of people with a sleeping bag and no expectations and drove !!

claudsy said, on 6/1/2012 7:54:00 AM

I’ve had my own adventures, Randy, with just picking up and going; more times than I care to think about just this minute. Yet, with all of that, I still had imaginings of what I might find along the way or at the other end. There was always an expectation of surprise or confirmation of something I’d been told before I arrived.

That was doubly true during my sister’s and my adventure of five months on the road from Dec. 2010 and May 2011. We expected certain things because of our objectives and our research. None of them panned out. That’s why I’m in the midst of writing a book about the failures that resulted and the blessings and came from those failures.

You’re fortunate, indeed, to have had such an adventure.

cloudfactor5 said, on 6/1/2012 8:29:00 AM

You know for me, the Zen of when I play music,is to empty my mind of all thoughts and considerations as much as humanly possible and see what happens.I still remember the first time I fell asleep with a guitar in my hand and when I awoke my fingers were playing something very interesting. It was the first time I ever had such a profound experience of being outside of myself looking at myself.That’s why to this day I still say my fingers are smarter than me and I do my best to keep my mind out of their way!

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I don’t have anything to say today, really. I woke up a little late and feel behind with much work to do (Never enough time, ya know..?) I have been posting everyday, though, so I found this in the coffers of some area of the computer–a picture book page I worked on a few months [...]

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1. “Stomp!”
   You are woke up from the best sleep you’ve had this month by your alarm clock.  You begin to sit up straight and take a long, heart-filled yawn as you prepare to begin what seems like will be the best day ever.  As you wipe the sleep out of your eyes, you rise to your feet and you feel something weird…  Below your right foot are the remains of your mobile phone.
2. “Crunch!”
   That’s the last bag for the trip!  Preparing for your vacation is going pretty smooth as you close the trunk of your vehicle.  You get in the driver seat and fasten your safety belt, and just as you begin to back out of the driveway, you feel a slight bump under your wheel…  Upon getting back out to investigate the situation, you discover your cell phone in more than four pieces.
3. “Strike Three!”
   Your lover is making you angrier and angrier as the conversation goes on.  Whether its the nagging or the screaming, you feel your face turn red, and your blood pressure rises as your heart begins to race.  You don’t want to take it anymore, so you hang up on the person on the other line…  Then without thinking, the next thing you know you’ve become an all-star baseball pitcher and the phone is your baseball crashing against a rather large baseball bat that would be known otherwise as the wall.
4. “Splash”
   Its time for you to face the facts…  You just might be falling in love with your new boyfriend or girlfriend.  You love hearing their voice, and it is the newest highlight of your day just to come home and finally get to talk to him/her.  But this afternoon as the two of you were talking, your stomach rumbles and you have to go to the bathroom to do lose a few pounds or so.  After noticing your leg is going numb, you realize that you have been on the toilet for over twenty minutes!  You suppose its time to get up, and you tell your love “hold on for one second please!” as you rise to wipe yourself and just as you reach for the roll of tissue, your leg tingles and the numbness tickles your feet with the pressure of standing up as your nerves begin to awaken, and splash!  You’ve dropped your phone into the toilet!  Nasty…

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NOTE TO SELF: RYANAIR TO CHARGE PASSENGERS TO URINATE(?) WHAT NEXT!

Another of those "what-in-the-hell-are-they-thinking" stories that cause us to shake our heads in wonder and puzzlement.

The head of Ryanair, a budget airline I'm not familiar with, is toying with the idea of charging its passengers to use the bathroom. His rationale or excuse is that doing this will lead to "less passenger inconvenience during flights.

How he arrived at this conclusion is puzzling.

Last month, Michael O'Leary, Chief Executive admitted that the airline is looking into the possibility of installing - wait for it - toilet doors in its planes that can only be opened with the insertion of of a 1 pound coin (1.10 euros, $1.40). Now that some expensive pee break!

His logic is that an on-board change, he believes, means that more passengers would use airport bathrooms, leading to "less passenger inconvenience on board the aircraft."

Oh really? I dunno how he arrived at this conclusion. As anyone over 50 will attest, when you gotta go - you gotta go! Period! In my eyes it's an obvious greedy, money-grab. I mean - like passengers don't pay enough for extras already?

Seems that Ryanair is running an online competition to see what else the carrier can charge for on board.

Extras huh? Next thing you know, there will be a charge for using the soap dispenser in the pay toilet. You know - $1 per squish on the hand and still another fee for each sheet of paper towel used. Maybe they could offer a special discount for slightly used paper towels. Or perhaps a charge for sitting on a toilet seat after a certain length of time? The mind boggles at the possibilities.

"The suggestion I like best so far is a passenger in Sweden who has suggested that we should produce rolls of toilet paper with my picture on it," O'Leary said.

Indeed.

Photo of a Ryanair plane here: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/photos/slideshow/oddlyenough-photos.html?imageUrl=/afp/20090324/r_p_afp_od_other/pod-a-ryanair-passenger-air-6e4457fb4f90

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So today I started on tiling our backsplashes. First the bathroom as there aren't any outlets to worry about and it's a small area to do.
This kind of tiling is quite easy and so I'll mention how I did it in case it's helpful to anyone. First I placed the tiles where they would go to see how I should space them as I wasn't going to try to cut any of the tiny glass mosaic tiles.


After you spread on the adhesive, you drag the trowel over it at a 45 degree angle. What you are doing is making the adhesive all the same height. It's better to go a bit over the borders of where the tiles will be placed because you can clean up any excess adhesive with a damp cloth. If there weren't enough adhesive at the edges the tiles might not adhere properly.

Don't rush, the adhesive doesn't dry quickly so you have at least 30 minutes to futz around and be as much of a perfectionist as you want to be. Or make mistakes. Or have trouble getting behind the faucet and find you're getting a bit fractious.
Then at this stage I used a long wide quilting ruler (choose whatever you like) to press on the tiles and make sure they were even. Some excess adhesive might squeeze out but it's easy to wipe up. Pay attention to the ones on the corners and make sure they're straight.

The bathroom backsplash is almost done! Just need to let it dry 24 hours then do the grouting. If you want to see that step let me know because otherwise I might think I'm boring you with all this.
Then I did it all over again in the kitchen. It's a bit brighter in there so you can see the colour better.Unfortunately I opened the box of tiles to start on the other side and discovered they were all dark smoky grey. So now I have to wait before finishing the kitchen...

I guess when I show that I could talk a bit about outlets... the only thing that really makes it tricky. So I think this is going well, but before trying it yourself you might want to wait and see how it turns out in the end - and remember I'm not an expert!!

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I can't believe what we got done this weekend. Friday I painted the eat-in area and moved in a small white shelf that fit perfectly in the spot the hutch used to have. Having books beside the kitchen table has made it feel so homey, it invites tea drinking and reading. It's so sunny in that spot, we just needed our small table back in place to make it a popular corner of the house again.

If you look just beyond that you can see that all the lower cabinets are now assembled, thanks to Bradley who has recovered from his cold and was behaving like a superhero all weekend. The cabinets even have their feet on now.

And he shortened the closet doors so they're now all back in place. Phew! We kept knocking them over while moving things around. I also finally added the second coat of paint in the hallway. The walls had been a bit scuffed up from the flooring work as well.

Friday I added curtains to cover the sliding doors. As much as I like to make my own, ready made curtains can be a real bargain considering how much fabric they have. I found these at Urban Outfitters, they're nice and sheer and soft. They came with an extra strip of fabric each, I sewed buttonholes and buttons on those to make ties. The rod is from the new Umbra store on John St.
Although not kitchen related, I'd like to mention that we also finally assembled the shower for our clawfoot tub and I can't tell you how thrilled we were to be able to have a shower again.
I also managed to get one of the shelves up. I'd like to get more of the white wicker baskets from IKEA to go on the shelves. As you can see I've painted the Ocean Air on the walls.Realizing it was time to order our countertop we went to Home Depot on Sunday. I had been hemming and hawing for ages about that choice. It was hard to decide what would work with our flooring, cabinets, sink and walls, and what we should spend and which material would be most practical. As I've mentioned before we hadn't planned on gutting the kitchen in the first place so we've been making decisions as we go along. I wouldn't recommend this method but so far we're very happy with the results. So anyway we ordered a countertop but I'll save which one for the reveal!

But before they can measure for the countertop we need to wrap things up, which means installing baseboards (while we can move the cabinets and get back there), setting up the wiring for the new dishwasher, having the plumber over to set up the plumbing and finally attaching the lower cabinets in place. Usually you're supposed to install the uppers first but this won't be the first time we've done something backwards. I guess the main reason was to try to keep the kitchen liveable as we did the work.

These are the old uppers:
Until yesterday we were using these old upper cabinets for storage. But last night we finally emptied and took down the last of the old cabinets (well I moved some things but Bradley did the real work) and the wall now looks like this:
So cleaning, patching, sanding, priming and painting these last two walls is my job for today. Along with some illustration work in case you were wondering if I still have a job... Read the rest of this post

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We moved back into our house last weekend and had nothing but the toilet in the bathroom. We used the shut-off valves from the sink to get water. It was like camping in our own home. But I needed to be home to be able to meet an illustration deadline and get ready for the craft sale - I had odds and ends for that tucked all over the place. Our furniture was crammed all over the place so that we had to climb over things to move around or find things. The bedroom had the watertank in the doorway so we couldn't even close the door.

So you can imagine how thrilled we were when the plumber turned up and quickly put back the water tank (hot water! hurray!) and tub (bathing! I missed it!) and sink (heaven). The best part was finally seeing our new bathroom floors with the furnishings in the room, because without them I was wondering if the tile was too small - it looked a bit busy. But with the furnishings in there it's just right. The traditional style of hexagonal tile makes it look like those floors could have always been there and they work perfectly with the old clawfoot tub, and in short, I think they're beautiful. The porcelain also feels lovely, it's hard to describe but it's just very nice.
Also I was very happy with how the cream paint on the tub looked with the new floor - there aren't a lot of colour choices with Tremclad but the cream really works (it's not quite as yellow as the picture above). And finally the new IKEA vanity/sink is also beautiful and soooo much better than the old one. It's a bit taller which I find more comfortable and I even love the shiny chrome knobs we picked to match the rest of our fixtures.
There are still a few small problems, our new faucet was bought out of the box and there was a small part missing. So for now we have a different stopper in there and it doesn't close all the way and isn't the right one. Also, the new flooring is higher than the old one, due to the Ditra and porcelain tile being thicker than vinyl tile. The plumber had no trouble adjusting the drain length, but the offset supply lines are too short (and it looks like they got a bit bent). So we need to buy new ones because for now the tub is installed on a bit of an angle in order to make it fit. Soon I'll be painting the walls, and once that's done I can do a full reveal.

Our kitchen is looking very empty. When a room is bare you can really see it's qualities and it's really a nice space. The big window and sliding doors let in so much sunlight - I've been tempted to live without cabinets and turn it into an airy studio. But I guess I have to be practical. Anyway, now the walls are smooth and I can paint those too, and our cabinets are ready for pick-up at IKEA. Yesterday we put back our appliances and a little table, so we've created a kitchenette area that is all we need for now.The dishes get washed in the bathroom so of course I had to buy this cute vintage mug for the scrubbie...For the wall colours, I've been so inspired by the January Martha Stewart Living. I noticed a lot of pale blue and yellow, including mustard yellow which created a really fresh (but almost vintage style) colour scheme that appeals to me so much. You can even see it in our dishes on the chair in the kitchen photo, we have a pale blue Denby stoneware set, and a brown and mustard yellow striped vintage set of dishes that's more casual.
The bathroom isn't as sunny as the kitchen, there's a window but it faces a wall. So the white walls are too stark and it needs a bit of colour. I've been wanting pale blue walls, but I was wondering how pale blue would go with the cream floor and tub then realized this was the colour scheme I was seeing in the magazine and loving. It was even already there in my favourite soaps in my Jonathan Adler soap dish. So I've picked up a big can of Benjamin Moore's "ocean air" and I can't wait to see it on the walls!

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The day the music died: Luciano Pavarotti is dead at age 71. http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/06/pavarotti.dead/
Ironically, I had just read the name "Pavarotti" in my book when I heard the news of his passing. People think I'm kidding but I swear these psychic connections happen all the time. Next time you see me, I'll be the madam on the boardwalk reading your palms.

School began today. The school bus forgot to pick up my older daughter. On the flip side, she likes her classes, teachers and schedule. She came home smiling and confident. We learned my younger daughter achieved a perfect score-- 785-- on her 6th grade English Language Assessment. My nephew said, in response to the news: "I always knew she was a freakin' genius." (Yes, he said "freakin" and for a teen from Long Island, that's standard operating procedure.) Little Genius wants to change her schedule because her friends all have lunch at 5th period, vs her 4th period lunch. This should be her worst worry ever.

More bad news. NO MORE MICROWAVED BUTTERED POPCORN. Nooooo. Noooooo. My snack of choice. Nooooo. Please. "They can't take that away from me, no no..."
See http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/food/2007-09-05-popcorn-lung_N.htm
Check your cupboards. Damn, that's my popcorn they're talking about. Containing the flavoring diacetyl. Has been known to cause lung ailments. (Not to poke fun of myself, but I am not as addicted as the man known in the news story as "Mr. Popcorn," the one who pops his popcorn bags at least two times a day, inhaling the steamy aroma as he retrieves the bag from the microwave.) I am fearful, truth be told, of this news, because I have, of late, found myself gagging with little, awkward coughing fits. (I attribute this dilemma due to my tendency to talk while eating but the hypochondriac in me will find medical connections in the smallest of moments.)

Good night, Bad Day. Ciao, Luciano. Y... grazi.

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Happy Friday to everyone.  I am back from my UK trip and at the Javits center today for Book Expo America.  What an experience!  A literal city of book lovers, I am in heaven.  The OUP booth is 2357 so if you are nearby come say hi.  We are having beer and popcorn to celebrate the Oxford Companion to American Food and Drink at 3:30 so come introduce yourself!

More updates to come…

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