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I was recently reminded that life imitates art, and that I am decidedly more juvenile than I had thought.

The “art” being our first book, Spies Inc., in which a middle-school boy is sent on a spy mission by bully Biff Vermin to steal a top-secret cupcake frosting recipe from The Lunch Lady. I won’t give away the entire plot because YOU CAN BUY IT HERE WWW.STORYBUILDERSBOOKS.COM,  but here’s an excerpt: 

All the kids in school knew about the frosting, but none of us had actually tasted it. The Lunch Lady used it only on cupcakes that went to grown-ups. “I’m going to be a famous TV chef some day, geekhead, and that frosting will be my claim to fame,” Biff said, scowling.

 After promising to have the recipe by the end of the day, the boy sneaks into the school kitchen, where he dons a disguise and tries to swipe a tray of cupcakes out of the school.

Now, fast forward to a small-town shop in northern Michigan called The Cherry Hut. Here is the actual text message exchange between me and my neighbor, Margaret, who is also an adult and who, like me, has  dismissed Botox in favor of exclamation points.

MARGARET: I smell the cookies baking!!!!!! Sweeeeeet!

ME: Get the batter recipe!!!!

MARGARET: I will beg after I get my cookie or they won’t sell them to me.

ME: Say this: “I can taste butter, right? Or is it lard?”

MARGARET: Yes…good line…and cherries?

ME: We already know there are cherries, pecans and white chocolate. JUST GET THE RECIPE!!!!!

I added that last sentence for effect, but suffice it to say, another summer has ended without the recipe for the best cookie on earth that we have aptly named Lard-Butt Cookies. That’s a combined 7 trips to the Hut, and 7 conversations with the owners (actually 8 if you include last winter’s phone call when I inquired about them mailing me the cookies.)

Stop judging me. I know you wannabe Iron Chefs are saying I should just recreate the recipe at home from scratch. I know plenty more are saying we should just ask for the recipe. Duh? Then what am I supposed to talk to my neighbors about all winter? The weather?

Margaret still has one more chance. Her family will stop at The Cherry Hut on their way home at the end of this week. Here’s what I plan to text her:

ME: OMG!!!! Don’t forget to get the recipe!!! Those cookies are so, like, AWESOME!!!! Do you really think they use lard???? I will totally freak. Isn’t that pig fat???

I feel younger already.

1 Comments on LARD-BUTT COOKIES, last added: 8/5/2010

10. Mother’s Day is not a day. It covers the entire weekend from Thursday 6 p.m. through 9 a.m. Monday.

9. Instead of escorting spiders, ants, mosquitoes, earwigs, etc…out of our home, I will kill them on the spot. 

8. You are not allowed to cry over said insects bereaved family members or wonder aloud about how said insects’ parents feel.

7. Don’t correct my grammar. I worked at the Chicago ‘effin Tribune, for God’s sake.

6. Do not, under any circumstances, say, “Mom look!” unless you are skydiving or graduating from high school.

5. I do not know where anything of yours is located.

4. I will change the TV channel at the drop of a dime to “The Dog Whisperer” or HGTV.

3. The words “Harry” and “Potter” are banned.

2. Play with those &%$ Zhu Zhu pets that I went insane trying to find for Christmas.

And my Number One  rule on Mother’s Day……

1. Ask Daddy.

A shout out to MOMS — let’s make this list gigantic and laugh! Add some rules. Your day starts tonight.

 I’m talking to you. Steve Ravenscraft, the designer of Spies Inc., can out design any other designer, any day of the week, in any medium.  InDesign, Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Flash -  the whole Adobe Creative Suite. What’s that? You’re backing down now?  Well, maybe you should go home and take your baby crayons with you.

Disclaimer: I’m not encouraging any actual physical violence to break out over this blog post.

What I am encouraging is for you to check out his designs at www.ravengraphics.com or better yet, take a mini-tour of Spies Inc. at www.storybuildersbooks.com

A friend of mine, a photographer and designer, was looking through Spies Inc. this week and summed up Steve’s design like this: “It’s like you’re looking through a virtual world in a book.”

What we love about Steve is that he is meticulous, a perfectionist if not obsessive, about the end product.

Check this out:  I asked him for a simple spy disguise – glasses or a mustache – so we could disguise kid’s photos – and here’s what he gave me.

Need I say more?

Inventory is low

Some people are hesitant to start their own business because they feel the risks involved are not worth taking. I had no trouble getting started, but now, as I get closer to launching my publishing company, I’m feeling opening night jitters. 

Then, out of the blue, I remembered that I had started and ran an  innovative, wildly successful and personally profitable business before. I know I can do it again.

Just Crackers! operated out of my desk at a scrappy Ohio newspaper where vending machines didn’t exist and appetites were ravenous. My idea was brilliant. I had managed to collect a stash of packaged crackers from eating establishments throughout town – single servings of Club Crackers, saltines, oyster, and others. If I had soup, chili or salad for lunch, I brought back inventory. There’s no way I would eat all of them, I had thought, why not open a store for my co-workers?

Word spread quickly through the newsroom. I branded my company with an innovative name, organized inventory according to color and taste in my right-hand drawer and took advantage of starving reporters, copy editors and one unusually hungry photographer who stopped by. A lot.

Just the other day, a former customer asked me if Just Crackers! was still open. Without any regrets, I said: “No, but how about a book?”

It’s exhilarating working on my business, Storybuilders, but some days I have a hefty amount of fear.   Should you do it? Should you start your own business? Should you take that invention to the market? Leave the security of your job?  There are strong internal drivers that compel people to create their own business, according to Daniel Isenberg, in his blog post for the Harvard Business Review.

 I started Storybuilders  because I had a lifelong dream to own a business AND the timing was right: Laid off, no credit card debt, low mortgage,  husband still employed, kids young.

Just answer yes or no. I scored 15 on the test. What did you score? Anything you would add to the test? Keep in mind that this is just a test that could give you some insight.

1. I don’t like being told what to do by people who are less capable than I am.
2. I like challenging myself.
3. I like to win.
4. I like being my own boss.
5. I always look for new and better ways to do things.
6. I like to question conventional wisdom.
7. I like to get people together in order to get things done.
8. People get excited by my ideas.
9. I am rarely satisfied or complacent.
10. I can’t sit still.
11. I can usually work my way out of a difficult situation.
12. I would rather fail at my own thing than succeed at someone else’s.
13. Whenever there is a problem, I am ready to jump right in.
14. I think old dogs can learn — even invent — new tricks.
15. Members of my family run their own businesses.
16. I have friends who run their own businesses.
17. I worked after school and during vacations when I was growing up.
18. I get an adrenaline rush from selling things.
19. I am exhilarated by achieving results.
20. I could have written a better test than Isenberg (and here is what I would change ….)

If you answered “yes” on 17 or more of these questions, look at your paycheck (if you are lucky enough to still get one). If the company that issued the check isn’t owned by you, it is time for some soul searching: Do you have debts to pay? Kids in college? Alimony? Want to take it easy? Maybe better to wait. Do you have a little extra cash in the bank and several credit cards? Do you have a spouse, partner, friends, or kids who will cheer you on? If so, start thinking about what kind of business you want to set up. It doesn’t matter what age you are: research by the Kauffman Foundation shows that more and more over–50s are setting up their own businesses. Talk to people who have made the plunge, learn how to plan and deliver a product or service, think about that small business you might buy, talk to people with whom you would like to work, and talk to customers.

“I like to take risks” is not on the list. People don’t choose to be entrepreneurs by opting for a riskier lifestyle. What they do, instead, is reframe the salary vs. entrepreneur choice as between two different sets of risk: the things they don’t like about having a steady job — such as the risk of boredom, working for a bad boss, lack of autonomy, lack of control over your fate, and getting laid off — and the things they fear about being an entrepreneur — possible failure, financial uncertainty, shame or embarrassment, and lost investment. In the end, people who are meant to be entrepreneurs believe that their own abilities (e.g. leadership, resourcefulness, pluck, hard work) or assets (e.g. money, intellectual property, information, access to customers) significantly mitigate the risks of entrepreneurship. Risk is ultimately a personal assessment: what is risky for me is not risky for you.  By Daniel Isenberg, The Conversation http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/02/should_you_be_an_entrepreneur.html