A year ago, I made a rare flight to Rockhampton. It was a mid-week, evening departure on one of those regional planes no bigger than a Lego model. What struck me most about the flight however as I waited in the boarding lounge, was the sheer number of men and women arriving into Brisbane that […]
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By: [email protected],
on 6/28/2015
Blog: Perpetually Adolescent (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: children's picture books, mining, Murphy, New Book Releases, working parents, Janine Dawson, FIFO, DIDO, family dynamics, Dimity Powell, Book Reviews - Childrens and Young Adult, The Five Mile Press, Sally, Romi Sharp, Jo Emery, My Dad is a FIFO Dad, Fly-In Fly-Out Dad, My FIFO Daddy, Add a tag
Filed under: 5stars, Library Donated Books, Middle Grade Tagged: alcoholism, children's book reviews, darcy pattison, family drama, family dynamics, Hansel and Gretel, middle grade novel, Mims House, runaways, Saucy and Bubba: A Hansel and Gretel Tale, wicked stepmother
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By: Karen Cioffi,
on 8/17/2012
Blog: Writing for Children with Karen Cioffi (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: mothers, family relationships, Susan Abel Lieberman, nonfiction family matters, nonfiction book review, family dynamics, mother-in-laws, Add a tag
This Summer Friday Book Review is another doosy. If you think raising your children is a tough job, and that it's over once they're married . . . LOL
Title: The Mother-in-Law’s Manual: Proven Strategies for Creating Healthy Relationships with Married Children
Author: Susan Abel Lieberman, PH.D.
Genre: Nonfiction/Family Matters
Publisher: bright sky press
ISBN: 978-1933979410
The Mother-in-Law’s Manual is a wonderfully insightful and at times humorous advice manual for dealing with not only in-laws, but also other family members. Having recently seen a commercial for Monsters-in-Law, with Jennifer Lopez, it was refreshing to read a much more realistic portrayal of mother-in-laws, especially since I am one myself.
Lieberman’s first chapter explains that when our children are young we are afforded an abundance of advice from professionals such as Dr. Spock. But, when our children are grown, leave the nest and marry, we are left to fend for ourselves. Lieberman’s analogy for the marriage is: “They are moving to a new country that they will create together. Yes, we get territorial. Use my bill of rights. Celebrate my holidays. Serve my food. Even if we don’t see it like a competition, we are likely to consider each deviation a loss.”
Situations that never existed before are now ones that can cause hurt, sadness, and even anger, along with satisfaction and happiness. This book delves into all the emotions that come into play. The child who was once yours now belongs to someone else. The author alludes to the fact that this is more of an issue when it is your son and you are dealing with a daughter-in-law. But, whether son or daughter, the dynamics of the family change.
The Mother-in-Law’s Manual is jammed packed with bits and pieces of wisdom. One of my favorite gems comes right after the “10 most recommended rules” for mothers-in-law which are all the same, “Keep your mouth shut.” Lieberman cleverly explains: “Even if we could follow the rule(s) and not say one word that would be heard as contentious, judgmental, argumentative, or critical […] our children would still hear contentions, judgments, arguments, and criticisms.” As a mother and mother-in-law, these are words that ring true. At times it seems you just can’t win. I thought this section was so funny, I had to read it to my husband.
It is difficult to do justice to all the pearls of wisdom in this book. It explains not to fret over the small things, our perceptions and our intent matter, when not to offer advice, and so much more. It even considers the roles of grandparents, children’s relationships to aging parents, and the aging process itself as Lieberman coins as “zippy to droopy.” She even includes a glimpse of her relationship with her own mother, the frustrations and sometimes guilt that is inevitable when a parent reaches an old age or is ill. Having taken care of a quadriplegic mother my experiences are somewhat different, but in some aspects they are the same. When watching your parent age, you wonder if you’re looking at your future.
Lieberman’s efforts produced an impressive book that all family members should read. Her research involved interviews with as many mothers-in-law across the country and from different backgrounds as she could. She even interviewed a number of daughters-in-law and sons-in-law. Many of these interviews are in the book. Some of their stories/advice sounded familiar, others were surprising. But, they all brought another element of enlightenment. Adult children who read this, married or unmarried, will hopefully gain insight into their parents as not only Mom or Dad, but as individuals with a life of their own including hopes, needs and feelings.
One final gem from the book that struck a chord with me is in Chapter Ten: “I understand my children are not my friends, that our relationship is that unique connection between parent and child. But, there is a way in which we are candid and honest with close, old friends, yet show a carefulness, a respectfulness that can be forgotten with parents. As soon as we begin to feel superior to a friend, the nature of the friendship shifts.” Lieberman hit just about every nail on the head with The Mother-in-Law’s Manual. I give this book 5 Stars and highly recommend it.
About the author: Susan Abel Lieberman currently lives in Houston and works as an executive coach. She has written five books, including New Traditions: Redefining Celebrations for Today’s Family. The Mother-in-Law’s Manual springs from the realization that her assumption that anyone would be thrilled to have her for a mother-in-law was off base. Rather than accepting family tension, she put her skills as a researcher and an executive coach to work to improve the situation. Ordained as an interfaith minister, Lieberman also holds a master’s from Berkeley, and a Ph.D. from the University of Pittsburg. As a wife, mother, mother-in-law and grandmother, she is well-versed in the challenges presented by every stage of family life. The Mother-in-Law’s Manual brings her personal and professional insights together to help mothers-in-law everywhere start a new chapter in their family life.
~~~~~~~~~~
More Reviews
Horatio Humble Beats the Big D
Review of When Teachers Talk
~~~~~~~~~~
To keep up with writing and marketing information, along with Free webinars - signup for The Writing World newsletter on the right top sidebar!
Karen Cioffi
Multi-award Winning Author, Freelance/Ghostwriter, Editor, Marketer
Writer’s Digest Website of the Week, June 25, 2012
Find Karen’s eBooks on writing and marketing at:
http://karencioffifreelancewriter.com (see the sidebar for titles)
Karen Cioffi Professional Writing Services
http://karencioffifreelancewriter.com/karen-cioffi-writing-services/
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By: [email protected],
on 6/28/2015
Blog: Perpetually Adolescent (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: children's picture books, mining, Murphy, New Book Releases, working parents, Janine Dawson, FIFO, DIDO, family dynamics, Dimity Powell, Book Reviews - Childrens and Young Adult, The Five Mile Press, Sally, Romi Sharp, Jo Emery, My Dad is a FIFO Dad, Fly-In Fly-Out Dad, My FIFO Daddy, Add a tag
By: Sue Morris,
on 7/13/2014
Blog: Kid Lit Reviews (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Middle Grade, children's book reviews, middle grade novel, darcy pattison, Hansel and Gretel, runaways, alcoholism, family drama, family dynamics, 5stars, Mims House, Library Donated Books, Saucy and Bubba: A Hansel and Gretel Tale, wicked stepmother, Add a tag
Blog: Kid Lit Reviews (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Middle Grade, children's book reviews, middle grade novel, darcy pattison, Hansel and Gretel, runaways, alcoholism, family drama, family dynamics, 5stars, Mims House, Library Donated Books, Saucy and Bubba: A Hansel and Gretel Tale, wicked stepmother, Add a tag
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Saucy and Bubba: A Hansel and Gretel Tale
written by Darcy Pattison
Mims House 1/20/2014
978-1-62944-009-5
Age 8 to 14
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“In this modern-day Hansel and Gretel story, Saucy and Bubba struggle to get along with Krissy, their alcoholic stepmother. One freezing night, Krissy locks Saucy out of the house and Saucy must sleep in the barn. In a desperate move, Saucy and Bubba run away to their aunt’s house—except Aunt Vivian isn’t home. Trying to take care of Bubba for several days forces Saucy to take charge of her own life and accept a terrible sacrifice in order to find safety for herself. This is the simple story that weaves through the tangled threads of family and
Opening
“Saucy Dillard loved gingerbread days.”
Review
Since Saucy and Bubba’s mother died, daddy has been very lonely. He hired Krissy to babysit the two kids, and then fell for the young alcoholic woman. Daddy married her and has been googoly-eyed for her ever since. Stepmom gets away with her actions because her hubby is in denial of the problem, preferring to blame his oldest child. That is more than enough to topple any eleven-year-old girl. Add acting as Bubba’s guardian—self-appointed—in charge of his happiness in addition to his safety, and the recipe for disaster more than doubles.
Saucy and Bubba would make a good story for social work students. It covers the same ground without the dryness of an adjunct text. In addition to alcoholism, the story involves child abuse and neglect, a mean stepparent, an absentee father, and runaway children. Pattison also throws in a possible pedophile, just in case there is not enough social angst. The pedophile is nothing more than bait, used to unite Krissy and Saucy in battle. I was surprised Saucy told Krissy the problem, given her justified fear of the woman, but the two make an insurmountable team—possibly because they are so similar—while rescuing Bubba from danger.
Saucy and Bubba is a dysfunctional family drama. The father, who I think is the biggest problem, is an absentee father, not because he is gone a lot as a long haul trucker, but because he overlooks most all of what his new bride does to his children, preferring to blame the eldest child instead of the real problem, his wife. In regards to Krissy leaving the kids on an outing (to get gas), going to a bar (getting drunk and driving home) and never picking them up (they walked home in the cold and dark), he says to his oldest, eleven-year-old Saucy,
“Krissy isn’t the problem. You are. Next time, you stay put.”
The best part of the story is during the runaway. All that before then is set-up. The kids have such a long way to go they must take a greyhound and then walk several miles. Bubba is but seven-years-old, naïve, and trusting. He nearly becomes the victim of the same pedophile, twice, all for the want of a cookie. He is also a genius with numbers. The two run into a few colorful characters, like the young teen working the bus station soda counter. He advises Saucy to take care of herself first before trying to care for another. In the end, he is spot on and that is exactly what Saucy must do to save her entire family. The ending did surprise me, but it is a great solution and the best for Saucy. If only all family problems could be solved so easily.
How is this A Hansel and Gretel Tale? Pattison uses several elements from the original story. Krissy is the wicked stepmother—and the evil gingerbread witch. Bubba is Hansel, using white stone as markers to follow home. Just as in Hansel and Gretel, the father abandons his kids, but instead of leaving them in the woods, he ignores the problems and leaves the kids with the cause.
Middle grade and older kids who like family dramas will enjoy Saucy and Bubba. There is enough angst to sell the story and enough heart to keep the reader interested in what becomes of the two kids. I still do not understand why Pattison had Saucy run and hide near the end, after she was so close to everything she worked for, but it did add one more element of suspense and force the father to open his eyes, maybe for the first time since marrying Krissy. Oh, well, there’s the reason. Pattison is a formidable writer whose work has been translated into numerous languages. Saucy and Bubba is another winner in a long line of winning stories.
SAUCY AND BUBBA. Text copyright © 2014 by Darcy Pattison. Reproduced by permission of the publisher, Mims House, LITTLE Rock, AR.
Purchase Saucy and Bubba: A Hansel and Gretel Tale at Amazon—B&N—Book Depository—Mims House—your favorite bookstore.
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Learn more about Saucy and Bubba: A Hansel and Gretel Tale HERE.
Meet the author, Darcy Pattison, at her website: http://www.darcypattison.com/
Find other Pattison books at the Mims House website: http://mimshouse.com/
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New in 2014 by Darcy Pattison
Aliens, Inc. Book 1: Kell, the Alien
Aliens Inc. Book 2: Kell and the Horse Apple Parade
Aliens Inc. Book 3: Kell and the Giants
VAGABONDS
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Also by Darcy Pattison, Click Title for Review
Abayomi, the Brazilian Puma: The True Story of an Orphaned Cub
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copyright © 2014 by Sue Morris/Kid Lit Reviews
Filed under: 5stars, Library Donated Books, Middle Grade Tagged: alcoholism, children's book reviews, darcy pattison, family drama, family dynamics, Hansel and Gretel, middle grade novel, Mims House, runaways, Saucy and Bubba: A Hansel and Gretel Tale, wicked stepmother
Add a Comment
By: Karen Cioffi,
on 8/17/2012
Blog: Writing for Children with Karen Cioffi (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: mothers, family relationships, Susan Abel Lieberman, nonfiction family matters, nonfiction book review, family dynamics, mother-in-laws, Add a tag
Title: The Mother-in-Law’s Manual: Proven Strategies for Creating Healthy Relationships with Married Children
Author: Susan Abel Lieberman, PH.D.
Genre: Nonfiction/Family Matters
Publisher: bright sky press
ISBN: 978-1933979410
The Mother-in-Law’s Manual is a wonderfully insightful and at times humorous advice manual for dealing with not only in-laws, but also other family members. Having recently seen a commercial for Monsters-in-Law, with Jennifer Lopez, it was refreshing to read a much more realistic portrayal of mother-in-laws, especially since I am one myself.
Lieberman’s first chapter explains that when our children are young we are afforded an abundance of advice from professionals such as Dr. Spock. But, when our children are grown, leave the nest and marry, we are left to fend for ourselves. Lieberman’s analogy for the marriage is: “They are moving to a new country that they will create together. Yes, we get territorial. Use my bill of rights. Celebrate my holidays. Serve my food. Even if we don’t see it like a competition, we are likely to consider each deviation a loss.”
Situations that never existed before are now ones that can cause hurt, sadness, and even anger, along with satisfaction and happiness. This book delves into all the emotions that come into play. The child who was once yours now belongs to someone else. The author alludes to the fact that this is more of an issue when it is your son and you are dealing with a daughter-in-law. But, whether son or daughter, the dynamics of the family change.
The Mother-in-Law’s Manual is jammed packed with bits and pieces of wisdom. One of my favorite gems comes right after the “10 most recommended rules” for mothers-in-law which are all the same, “Keep your mouth shut.” Lieberman cleverly explains: “Even if we could follow the rule(s) and not say one word that would be heard as contentious, judgmental, argumentative, or critical […] our children would still hear contentions, judgments, arguments, and criticisms.” As a mother and mother-in-law, these are words that ring true. At times it seems you just can’t win. I thought this section was so funny, I had to read it to my husband.
It is difficult to do justice to all the pearls of wisdom in this book. It explains not to fret over the small things, our perceptions and our intent matter, when not to offer advice, and so much more. It even considers the roles of grandparents, children’s relationships to aging parents, and the aging process itself as Lieberman coins as “zippy to droopy.” She even includes a glimpse of her relationship with her own mother, the frustrations and sometimes guilt that is inevitable when a parent reaches an old age or is ill. Having taken care of a quadriplegic mother my experiences are somewhat different, but in some aspects they are the same. When watching your parent age, you wonder if you’re looking at your future.
Lieberman’s efforts produced an impressive book that all family members should read. Her research involved interviews with as many mothers-in-law across the country and from different backgrounds as she could. She even interviewed a number of daughters-in-law and sons-in-law. Many of these interviews are in the book. Some of their stories/advice sounded familiar, others were surprising. But, they all brought another element of enlightenment. Adult children who read this, married or unmarried, will hopefully gain insight into their parents as not only Mom or Dad, but as individuals with a life of their own including hopes, needs and feelings.
One final gem from the book that struck a chord with me is in Chapter Ten: “I understand my children are not my friends, that our relationship is that unique connection between parent and child. But, there is a way in which we are candid and honest with close, old friends, yet show a carefulness, a respectfulness that can be forgotten with parents. As soon as we begin to feel superior to a friend, the nature of the friendship shifts.” Lieberman hit just about every nail on the head with The Mother-in-Law’s Manual. I give this book 5 Stars and highly recommend it.
About the author: Susan Abel Lieberman currently lives in Houston and works as an executive coach. She has written five books, including New Traditions: Redefining Celebrations for Today’s Family. The Mother-in-Law’s Manual springs from the realization that her assumption that anyone would be thrilled to have her for a mother-in-law was off base. Rather than accepting family tension, she put her skills as a researcher and an executive coach to work to improve the situation. Ordained as an interfaith minister, Lieberman also holds a master’s from Berkeley, and a Ph.D. from the University of Pittsburg. As a wife, mother, mother-in-law and grandmother, she is well-versed in the challenges presented by every stage of family life. The Mother-in-Law’s Manual brings her personal and professional insights together to help mothers-in-law everywhere start a new chapter in their family life.
~~~~~~~~~~
More Reviews
Horatio Humble Beats the Big D
Review of When Teachers Talk
~~~~~~~~~~
To keep up with writing and marketing information, along with Free webinars - signup for The Writing World newsletter on the right top sidebar!
Karen Cioffi
Multi-award Winning Author, Freelance/Ghostwriter, Editor, Marketer
Writer’s Digest Website of the Week, June 25, 2012
Find Karen’s eBooks on writing and marketing at:
http://karencioffifreelancewriter.com (see the sidebar for titles)
Karen Cioffi Professional Writing Services
http://karencioffifreelancewriter.com/karen-cioffi-writing-services/
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