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Kansas State U. Powwow with son Carlos & cousin Matthew Lester (senior)

By Traci Sorell
for Cynthia Leitich Smith's Cynsations

I had no idea how beneficial an agent could be when I attended my first SCBWI conference in October 2013.

I quickly realized how much about the industry I did not know.

I began to network with other children's writers, especially fellow Native Americans, and when it came time to look for an agent, I utilized that network extensively.

I questioned fellow writers with representation, especially those from Native/people of color backgrounds, about their experience. I asked how agents had presented themselves at conferences or other events. I read agent online interviews and social media posts.

I wanted my agent to be a steadfast partner with a strong work ethic. It is a long-term relationship, so both people have to be dedicated to maintaining it. I required someone who was excited about my work and associated with a well-respected agency.

Traci's Reading Chair

Ideally, I wanted someone who had editorial experience that reflects what I write—fiction, nonfiction, and Native/POC subjects. To be honest, this makes for a small submission list, so I did expand beyond that.

When I communicated with agents via email and telephone, I tracked whether what they shared reflected my list.

My gut got an extreme workout when I received two offers of representation on the same day. I cannot stress enough the importance of developing and checking in with trusted mentors.

Ultimately, I accepted Emily Mitchell's offer of representation with Wernick & Pratt Agency. She met every single item on my list. Her clients contacted me quickly and gave their honest feedback about her representation.

Emily had vetted me with my editor at Charlesbridge, her former employer. We had both done our homework.

To me, it is kismet that Emily presented at that first conference I attended—and in my home state of Oklahoma too! That day, she shared her desired client attributes—voice, authority, pragmatism and flexibility. I'd like to think I resemble her list, too.

Cynsational Notes

Follow @TraciSorell

Traci Sorell writes fiction and nonfiction for children featuring contemporary characters and compelling biographies. She has been an active member of SCBWI since August 2013.

In April 2016, Charlesbridge acquired her first nonfiction picture book, We are Grateful: Otsaliheliga, from the slush pile.

The story features a panorama of modern-day Cherokee cultural practices and experiences, presented through the four seasons. It conveys a universal spirit of gratitude common in many cultures.

Traci is an enrolled citizen of the Cherokee Nation. She grew up in northeastern Oklahoma, where her tribe is located.

She is a first-generation college graduate with a bachelor's degree in Native American Studies from the University of California, Berkeley, where she graduated Phi Beta Kappa.

She also has a Master's degree in American Indian Studies from the University of Arizona and a law degree from the University of Wisconsin. Previously, she taught at the University of North Dakota School of Law and the University of New Mexico.

She also worked as an attorney assisting tribal courts nationwide, advocated for national Native American health care, and directed a national nonprofit serving American Indian and Alaska Native elders. She now lives in the Kansas City area.

See also Story to Contract: Traci Sorell’s Incredible Journey by Suzanne Slade from Picture Book Builders. Peek: "Be grateful. Every day. If you approach your creativity and the process of writing from a place of gratitude, it opens you up. You will be more aware of story ideas, available to hear critiques that improve your craft, and connected to others around you in the kidlit world. Gratitude opens up receptivity."

Emily Mitchell began her career at Sheldon Fogelman Agency, handling submissions, subsidiary rights, and coffee. She spent eleven years at Charlesbridge Publishing as senior editor, contracts manager, and director of corporate strategy. After a brief post-MBA stint in the non-publishing world, Emily returned to children's books at Wernick & Pratt.

Her clients include Geisel Honor winner April Pulley Sayre, author/photographer of Best In Snow (Beach Lane, 2016); Caron Levis, author of Ida, Always (Atheneum, 2016); and Frank W. Dormer, author/illustrator of The Sword in the Stove (Atheneum, 2016) and Click! (Viking, 2016).

Emily holds a bachelor's degree in English from Harvard University, a master's in secondary English education from Syracuse University, and an MBA from Babson College. She lives outside Boston.

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I’ve been on a roll with some really good reader questions lately. As a reminder to anyone out there who may be new to the blog, I do open myself up to general inquiries about writing and publishing via email. Sometimes these exchanges end up on the blog, sometimes they’re between you and me. Information on how to reach me is available in the sidebar. I regret that I can’t answer very specific questions or review work…that’s reserved for my freelance editorial clients. But questions Kate’s, below, are more than welcome!

What are your feelings about submitting an excerpt from an as-yet unrepresented novel for publication in a literary magazine? My concern is that on the off-chance that the excerpt would be published I would thereby render the whole novel unsellable to a publisher. In my case I’ve rewritten the submission to make it work better as an excerpt, but I’m not sure if there’s enough difference between it and the version in the manuscript, or whether that even matters. Thanks!

This is a great question, and one I see from time to time. I didn’t find out the exact circumstances until later, and it turns out I was right. Because I imagined a few things about Kate’s situation that would lead her down this path of reasoning. First, Kate is frustrated by a novel that’s not getting picked up. She later reported submitting to agents for quite some time and not getting where she wants to go. Second, she has likely started thinking…Well, what else can I do with this thing? Is there a shortcut to getting to getting noticed? Hence the literary magazine idea. And it’s not a bad idea, in theory. But would I recommend it? This was my response. Read on:

Good question. I’ll answer, but start my answer with another (blunt) question: Why? What’s the point? If you want to get a novel published, it is very, very, very unlikely that you’re going to get there by publishing something in a literary magazine from it that an agent will see or that will otherwise draw attention to your efforts. That’s a very circuitous route. And getting published in a literary magazine involves learning about good literary magazines to submit to, submitting to them, getting immersed in that, etc. If your big goal is to get a novel published, your energy is much better used focusing on the DIRECT route: writing a kickass novel and getting immersed in the novel/agent submission process.

While, yes, writing credits are kinda sorta important to collect when you’re trying to make your name as a writer*, they are not the determining factor. And literary agents and literary magazine people don’t spin in the same worlds some of the time. You’d think they would be connected, and some definitely are, but agents have so much to read that when a literary magazine lands on their desks, on top of everything else, it may or may not get attention. For me, even if someone is published in The Paris Review, one of the most noteworthy journals and pretty impossible to get into, if I hate the novel they’re submitting, the credit is impressive, but meaningless to me because, as an agent, I am looking to sell you as a novelist, not a literary magazine writer. So, you could be doing all that UNRELATED work for very dubious payoff. If the journals even want you.

The thing is, lit mag demand for unpublished novel excerpts is quite low compared to standalone articles, short stories, and poems. They’d rather publish those because they’re more satisfying for the reader, rather than some random piece of something that, who knows, nobody may ever hear from again. Unless they’re inspired to contract you for a serial series, I wouldn’t imagine that this type of piece is hot property. And if they do, you may have more problems publishing it eventually because more will have appeared in print.

So the print rights issue is certainly one to consider, and some publishers might be jerks about it, saying that since you’ve already exploited some rights by putting the excerpt in print, the property is less attractive, etc. It has happened. But that’s honestly not why I’d reconsider this idea. Finally, what about when you revise your manuscript, as you’re bound to do, because you wake up one day and realize the piece you’ve been missing? It happens all the time. And then you have this excerpt floating around that’s now horribly broken, in your eyes. And that’s your “sales piece” that’s now immortalized in print.

I know that you are probably very eager to do something, anything to move your chances forward. Think of taking the more direct path. Write the best manuscript you can. Write a killer query. Research agents. If you really have enough free time to also research literary journals, more power to you. But to me, that’s not going to be your strongest potential path to success.

• I know many of you are going to find this statement interesting. I will cover clips and writing credits in a subsequent post!

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A fellow writer recently posed this question to me: Is my mss ready to submit?

THE AGONY OF DECIDING

The short answer is, you don’t know. You can only send it out and see what response you get. That’s agony. You want to be accepted and published, but no one can guarantee that. The simple fact is that manuscripts that sit on a hard drive somewhere will not sell. Even if I said your book is “perfect,” it may not sell. You must test the market and learn from every submission.

Here are things to consider as you decide on submission:

Have you done the best job that you know how to do right now? The best you can do at any give time is the best you can do. Don’t send out your weakest effort. But if you’ve worked hard on the story and it’s the best you know to do, then send it. Hope for a sale, but rejoice if you get any feedback at all. That’s what you want: useful feedback. Sometimes a casual comment will trigger a huge change in a story.

Trust your instincts. Too often writers spend years in revision. One attitude the indie revolution has built is that you should trust your instincts, write fast (because time IS money), and get books out. It’s something that traditionally published writers can learn from. You’re a storyteller: trust your instincts.

Do a couple trial submissions. Nothing says that you must send the story first to a hundred agents or editors. Even agents do trial submissions. They’ll often send to a limited number of editors and see what feedback they get. Granted, they GET feedback and you may not. Based on editorial response, the agent may ask a client to revise, or they may do a wider or a different submission strategy.

Consider individual preferences. In other words, your audience in submitting is an individual editor, one by one. One editor said it’s like this. If he likes pullover sweaters–a personal preference–and you sent him the most luxurious button-up sweater ever made, he still wouldn’t buy it because he only likes pullovers. The key, then, is to find the right agent/editor. The only way to do that is to follow likely candidates on Twitter, FB, etc. and see how the conversations go. Then–heck, just submit! You can always revise and resubmit a year later to the same editor, if needed. Go to conferences and get feedback from critiques there.

In the end, I write for an audience. I want to put my book in the hands of the RIGHT readers, whether that’s a kid from Wisconsin, or an editor or agent in New York City. In the end, at some point, you must submit. Or face the fact that you’ll never be published. It’s a painful truth, a painful process. But it’s part of the game. Submit! Today!

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You may have been wondering why it's so quiet around here lately…

The answer is I've been hard at work! Above are my new postcards (created with my agents, ABLA). They're designed and printed in time for the SCBWI conference (aka #LA15scbwi), which kicks off tomorrow morning bright and early. It takes a good bit of preparation — new portfolio art, new postcards, new dummies or manuscripts.  New shoes!

Some people begin to prepare months in advance, but I couldn't. I have another project on the go, also demanding my 1000% attention. I'm working on my picture book for Nord Süd (North South Books): getting to know the characters ...

And above all, trying to get the visual narrative to work:

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The Aliens Inc, Chapter Book Series

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What agents are selling middle grade novels? Publishersmarketplace.com does a great job of monitoring the business of selling manuscripts to publishers. If you’re looking for an agent, you’ll want to spend a lot of time there doing research on agents to find the perfect match for you and your stories. Here’s just one way to look at the agents for middle grade novels. This list includes information on the agent, links to his/her agency and the number of middle grade deals made in the last twelve months. Please note that the agent/agency may have made many other deals in addition to these; these are limited to those self-reported by the agent/agency in the category of middle grade. For more information, go to Publishersmarketplace.com (you must pay to join to see full information).

This is the second of three articles on current agents for children’s books. See also Picture Book Agents and YA Agents lists (link is live on 4/29).

I did this roundup of middle grade agents in 2013 and you may want to compare the list from then. At that time, I only listed the top 10 agents, who represented 60 sales. This time, the top 10 middle grade agents report 80 sales. There may be two reasons for this. First, Publisher’s Marketplace relies on agents to self-report. This means that the agents are, for the first time, in a sort of competition for rankings. Reporting more sales means they are ranked higher, which gives prestige and possibly brings in more prospective clients. Second, it could mean that sales are up for middle grade novels. We hope the latter is the case, but suspect the first reason has much to do with the increased number of sales.

1. Sarah Davies (Greenhouse Literary Agency), 15 deals. Website
2. Jennifer Laughran (Andrea Brown Literary Agency), 14 deals. Website
3. Ammi-Joan Paquette (Erin Murphy Literary Agency), 10 deals. Website
4. Erin Murphy (Erin Murphy Literary Agency), 9 deals. Website
5. Steven Chudney (The Chudney Agency), 9 deals. Website
6. Holly McGhee (Pippin Properties), 8 deals. Website
7. Tina Wexler (ICM), 6 deals. Website
8. Stephen Barbara (Inkwell Management), 6 deals. Website
9. Kelly Sonnack (Andrea Brown Literary Agency), 6 deals. Website
10. Rosemary Stimola (Stimola Literary Studio), 5 deals. Website
11. Daniel Lazar (Writers House), 5 deals. Website
12. Sara Crowe (Harvey Klinger), 5 deals. Website
13. Tracey Adams (Adams Literary), 5 deals. Website
14. Rebecca Sherman (Writers House), 5 deals. Website
15. Josh Adams (Adams Literary), 5 deals. Website
16. Jennifer Rofe (Andrea Brown Literary Agency), 5 deals. Website
17. Brianne Johnson (Writers House), 5 deals. Website
18. Caryn Wiseman (Andrea Brown Literary Agency), 4 deals. Website
19. Laura Dail (Laura Dail Literary Agency), 4 deals. Website
20. Jill Corcoran (Jill Corcoran Literary Agency), 4 deals. Website

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Capital Talent Agency located in Washington, DC has added a new literary division to their agency services. They say they want to provide a wonderful home for authors who are looking for a supportive and hands-on agency. “We want nothing more than to see our authors achieve their dreams, and we do everything we can to make that happen.”

Agent Cynthia Kane has been involved in the publishing industry for more than ten years. She has seen over 100 titles to market and has edited for UN Women (The United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women). She has worked with Michael Gross, New York Times best-selling author, on “740 Park: The Story of the World’s Richest Apartment Building” and “Rogues Gallery: The Secret History of the Moguls and the Money That Made the Metropolitan Museum.” Cynthia has also written for national and international publications and has served as a writing instructor at the Writopia Lab in Washington, DC, and has run several writing workshops. Cynthia received her B.A. in Literature from Bard College and her M.F.A. in Creative Nonfiction from Sarah Lawrence College.

She is looking for: young adult, children’s, nonfiction, memoir, commercial fiction (but no science fiction or fantasy).

How to contact: “Submissions should be sent to literary.submissions [at] capitaltalentagency.com. We accept submissions only by e-mail. We do not accept queries via postal mail or fax. For fiction and nonfiction submissions, send a query letter in the body of your e-mail. Attachments will not be opened. Please note that while we consider each query seriously, we are unable to respond to all of them. We endeavor to respond within six weeks to projects that interest us.”

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Agent, authors and illustrators, children writing, Editor & Agent Info, Middle Grade Novels, opportunity, picture books, Places to Submit, Young Adult Novel Tagged: Capital Talent Agency, Cynthia Kane

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Dow Phumiruk is an aspiring children’s book illustrator. She won the 2013 SCBWI On-the-Verge Emerging Voices Award that promotes diversity in children’s books. This feast illustration is from a book idea called Arissa and the Queen’s Mice. Please visit her portfolio site at http://www.artbydow.blogspot.com or her blog at http://www.happydow.blogspot.com to see more of her work.

I’m thrilled to share that… drum roll please… Kelly Calabrese has accepted representation with Sarah LaPolla of Bradford Literary Agency!

Kelly says, “Sarah LaPolla is a super sharp, smart, and witty agent who really *gets* the types of books that I like to write – which I believe is the most important factor in an agent/writer relationship.”

Kelly first met Sarah at the annual NJ SCBWI June Conference, and then again at the Full Manuscript Avalon Writres’ Retreat at the end of September. Sarah critiqued her full manuscript of her YA Thriller-Horror, BEAUTIFUL BLOODY DUCKLING, and gave her editorial notes that were dead-on insightful.

I asked Kelly what happened post the Avalon Writers’ Retreat, here is what she said:

I had the amazing fortune of being accepted into Brenda Drake’s Pitch Wars. As a chosen mentee in this contest, I won the editorial aid of two published mentors – Trisha Leaver and Lindsay Currie – who helped to shape my story into a much stronger version. I can’t shout loud enough from the rooftops about how life-changing Pitch Wars can be. After working day and night on revisions (Sleep? What sleep?!), I completed my manuscript a mere two days before Thanksgiving.

Sarah received my full manuscript on the 25th of November, and offered me representation within two weeks. Crazy. I know. And so very encouraging!!! It’s all very *dream come true* – WHOOT!

I truly believe that Sarah is an ideal agent for me, and that we are going to KICK ASS together. So, watch out world.

Of course, I could not have done it on my own. I am beyond grateful for Dee Falvo (my über talented CP), for the constant encouragement provided by my fellow NJ SCBWI members, and for the empowering mentorship offered through Pitch Wars.

The writing community ROCKS. And I am so thrilled to be a part of it…. #AmWriting #AmReading #Forevermore :)

— @kellycalabrese & @sarahlapolla —-

PS: I started a new BLOG called We Hear YA! It connects YA writers with their teen audience and can be found here: http://wehearya.blogspot.com/ (@WeHear_YA)

LINKS…
Sarah LaPolla: http://www.bradfordlit.com/about/sarah-lapolla-agent/

Pitch Wars: http://www.brenda-drake.com/pitch-wars/

Trisha & Lindsay’s book:

http://www.fluxnow.com/product.php?ean=9780738740805

CONGRATULATIONS KELLY AND SARAH!

FYI: If you have a Kindle, here are two books that have had their prices temporarily reduced. Can’t ever go wrong buying a Lauren Oliver book. I personally read and enjoyed. I just bought RED RISING, but have not read it yet. It has gotten a lot of buzz and awards.

Panic

By Lauren Oliver

A New York Times bestselling author delivers a “fast-paced and captivating book” (School Library Journal). In the small town of Carp, teenagers have invented a dangerous game, and newly graduated Heather and Dodge find themselves competing for thousands of dollars — putting their very lives at risk.

$1.99

Deal ends: January 5

Red Rising

By Pierce Brown

For fans of The Hunger Games comes a New York Times bestseller that’s a “heart-pounding ride” (Entertainment Weekly). Darrow is a Red — part of the lowest level in his color-coded dystopia. Can he infiltrate the ruling Gold caste and bring justice to his people? “Fast-paced, gripping, well-written” (Terry Brooks).

$1.99

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=RED%20RISING

Deal ends: December 27

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Agent, authors and illustrators, Book, illustrating, inspiration, success Tagged: Avalon Writer's Retreat, Bradford Literary Agency, Dow Phumiruk, Kelly Calebrese, Sarah LaPolla

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Kendra Shedenhelm sent this illustration in for us to enjoy. It makes me think of the song that was out a year ago titled, “What does the Fox say.” Must be Tee Hee Hee. The fourth book she has illustrated, “You, the Magician,” was released in November 2014, and can be viewed at http://www.youthemagician.com. http://www.kendrashedenhelm.com/

Kimberly Brower, Agent
Kimberly fell in love with reading when she picked up her first Babysitter’s Club book at the age of seven and hasn’t been able to get her nose out of a book since. Reading has always been her passion, even while pursuing her business degree at California State University, Northridge and law degree at Loyola Law School, Los Angeles. By joining the Rebecca Friedman Literary Agency in 2014, she has been able to merge her legal background with her love of books. Although she loves all things romance, she is also searching for books that are different and will surprise her, with empathetic characters and compelling stories.

Kimberly is interested in both commercial and literary fiction, with an emphasis in women’s fiction, contemporary romance, mysteries/thrillers, new adult and young adult, as well as certain areas of non-fiction, including business, diet and fitness.

Follow her on Twitter at @kimberlybrower

Rachel Marks, Agent
Rachel began her career in the entertainment industry.  Starting out as a production assistant, she has worked on popular shows like So You Think You Can Dance, The Biggest Loser, and The Golden Globe Awards Show.  In 2011 her focus shifted to publicity  and marketing where she worked for Sony Computer Entertainment, assisting in the launches of several video game titles.  She is a graduate of University of Miami and lives in Los Angeles.

Rachel is interested in young adult, science fiction, fantasy, new adult and romance.

Follow her on Twitter at @rachelmmarks

How to submit: Email a query to Kimberly at kimberly [at] rfliterary.com or Rachel [at] rfliterary.com. Submit a brief query letter and your first chapter (pasted into the email, not to exceed fifteen double-spaced pages) and for security purposes, do not include any attachments unless specifically requested.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Agent, authors and illustrators, Editor & Agent Info, need to know, opportunity, Places to Submit, reference Tagged: Kendra Shedenhelm, Kimberly Brower, Rachel Marks, RF Literary

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Molly Ker Hawn

Molly Ker Hawn represents authors who write for the young adult and middle grade market.

Her time in the children’s publishing industry has included editorial roles at Chronicle Books and Dial Books for Young Readers, early social media development for a major teen magazine, and serving as National Programs Director at the Children’s Book Council, the trade association of American children’s book publishers. She’s also been a bookseller, and a past board member of the United States Board on Books for Young People.

She lives in London and works with authors and publishers both in the U.K. and the U.S. She’s bounced back and forth from America to England since she was a teenager: She grew up in Northern California, lived for a time in the West Country, read English at Cambridge University, spent many years in New York City, and now lives a stone’s throw from the River Thames.

She’s looking for middle grade and young adult fiction that’s inventive, well-crafted, and rich with emotion. She is also interested in non-fiction for readers ages 8-18. “I like wit, but not snark; I prefer books that lean more toward literary than commercial, but of course, my perfect book neatly bridges the two. The books on my list all share a strong sense of authentic place, whether real or imaginary. Some of my favorite (non-client) authors are Ellen Raskin, Edward Ormondroyd, Margo Lanagan, Maureen Johnson, Jack Gantos, Jacqueline Woodson, Catherynne Valente, Chris Crutcher, Francesca Lia Block, Noel Streatfeild, Gene Luen Yang, and Susan Cooper. And in the non-children’s/YA pantheon, my favorites include Maeve Binchy, AS Byatt, Mollie Panter-Downes, Agatha Christie, Ray Bradbury, Laurie Colwin, and Judith Krantz.”

If you’ve got a terrific story, well-told, Molly wants to read it.

Send me your smart, funny YA contemp romance, your clever literary MG, your upmarket YA horror.

Twitter: @mollykh

email: [email protected]

Submission Guidelines:

Please do not send an exclusive query. Queries are meant to be shared with multiple agencies. The Bent Agency ONLY accepts email queries. If you send your query by postal mail, it will be recycled and not returned to you.

It is their goal to respond to every query. If you don’t receive a response within a month, please resend your query and indicate that you’re sending it again.

If the agent is interested in your work, she will respond with instructions for sending the rest of your material. If we do request material from you, we ask that you check back with us before accepting representation elsewhere.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

 

Filed under: Agent, Middle Grade Novels, opportunity, Places to Submit, Young Adult Novel Tagged: Molly Ker Hawn, No New Adlut, Represeants writers in US and UK, The Bent Agency

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I have fantastic news! I am now represented by Justin Rucker of Shannon Associates! I'm thrilled to be part of such a wonderful agency. I have been a fan of their artists for a long time and am proud to be included amongst such talented people. I'm looking forward to a long and successful partnership.

This has been a long journey for me and I'm so happy to have reached this goal. Now on to the next one.

And because every post should include art, here is a completely unrelated sketch.

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I want to thank Alexander Slater from the Trident Media Group for agreeing to be November’s First Page Critiquer. All the agents and editors who have been Guest Critiquers are doing this for free because they want to help writers improve their writing. So please realize what a big deal this is to have an industry professional take their valuable time and share their expertise with all of us.

I also want to thank everyone who submits their work for the chance of review. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there, but it is the fearless who end up making it to the published book goal line.

This is the last First Page Critique session for 2014. I will announce January’s guest in December.

Here are November’s winners and Alex’s thoughts:

 

TILENIKA, LEGEND OF DEO by Richard Bisbee – YA

Darkness surrounds me as I float, lost, on the wild sea…

“Ghemmi, you must take rest and come to bed this day,” Kiyami said. “Our Tilenika is away now three days. She is young; she cannot swim forever. Even you, stronger than most, would find difficulty swimming in these wild and powerful seas we now have. You also know,” she swallowed hard, “that the giant bullwah fish rise from their depths seeking prey in waters so restless.”

“I know Kiyami, but I will not leave this spot until she returns. I smell Tilenika on the wind and taste her on the sea spray. The waves whisper that she yet swims. Her heart throbs with life as surely as mine. I feel she has not parted from our world.”

Kiyami lowered her head as the wind whipped through her long black hair and blew the tears from her eyes. “I too wish to believe as you, my husband, but…I will pass by later.” She turned and slowly walked away.

Ghemmi’s deep blue eyes continued scanning the water as his floating samong community moved with the waves and currents of the sea. He thought, ‘Tilenika, your spirit is strong, but I feel you are weakening. Take care not to distance yourself from life. I sense you are close, so please come to the signal float I tend. Death only offers change of life…with understanding and wisdom too late to use.’ He closed his eyes as he rocked upon one of the bulbous seaweed kiila floats of the samong. His mind reached out to hers, rippling, spreading, reaching out, like circular rings expanding when a shell is dropped in still water…rippling…reaching out…reaching out.

Suddenly, he felt a strong tug on the line. He sprang to his feet and began pulling length after length of dripping line. “Kiyami!” he yelled, “Sound the alarm! We have a fight ahead!”

Here’s Alex:

TILENIKA, LEGEND OF DEO

The dialogue here has the old-fashioned feel of a 1930’s Hollywood film, with its grandiosity, detail, and heightened exposition. I see this style utilized in many high fantasy projects, as the ornate and otherworldly setting tends to mirror itself in the language. My problem is that I often have a tough time connecting to this lofty speak, as it might simply feel unnatural and overexposed, as in this sample with descriptions like, “stronger than most,” and, “rise from their depths seeking prey.” These are examples of dialogue that tell, rather than show, and in so doing, the voice feels forced, rather than organic. I would say be careful with such a high style, as it leads to easy traps where characters blend into the narrative, rather than stand out. Also, I think it would be for the readers benefit if Tilenika is given just a bit more description – I cannot tell from this first page if this name is that of a character, or a pet, or what, and therefore, it is difficult to get hooked immediately without that knowledge.

 

Fool’s Mate by Chris Friden – YA

Constance Yearly lashed out across the chessboard and stabbed an ice pick into the table beside her opponent’s king. She let it thrum. This pre-match ritual intimidated most foes, but Alastair “The Bellman” Brown didn’t flinch. He kept his focus on the black and white universe at their fingertips.

Constance sat back, concealing her pleasure in his brave resistance. Like so many boys, he was sure of his impending victory. Sure that everything in reach was his to take. Sure of his invulnerability, and that left him entirely vulnerable.

Constance watched him scan the playing pieces again while he tried to ignore the damnable space she’d left empty in the back row. She let that missing matriarch vex him and simmer his impatience as she waited for a sign of weakness.

And as reliably as a Caro-Kann defense, it came. Alastair’s left eye twitched.

Constance lowered her red-gloved hand into a Styrofoam cooler at her feet. She searched for her prize and an apropos expression. Revenge is best served cold? That expression didn’t do this justice.

“I’ll have the match before my Ice Queen melts,” she promised in a tone as chilled as the frozen figurine she dangled from the pinch of her fingers. She clinked her lady––clear except for the small drop of suspended red where a tiny heart might have been––onto the place beside her widower king. “Let’s begin.”

Here’s Alex: 

FOOL’S MATE

This opening sentence contains great action and violence. It’s captivating, original, and memorable. However, by introducing a universally known game like chess, prepare yourself for the reader’s intuitions. Sentences like, “missing matriarch,” confused me until I realized they were still setting up the game. Let that be clearer. Also, I am still left perplexed that Constance is able to stab the ice pick, “beside her opponent’s king,” leaving me wondering where Alastair’s queen is? The great reveal of her piece makes sense, but I’m still unsure of Alastair’s pieces. Overall, an interesting opening, with clear characters and mini-plot set to reveal itself. I like openings that feel they can stand on their own, as this does.

 

Mad Cow Science Club by Jennifer Swanson – Middle Grade

Nick Newton stepped on his shovel and pushed it deep into the dirt. Today was the day. He could feel it. He was going to find something amazing.

“Hey over, here!” Nick’s best friend Rudi Patel shouted excitedly. “Look at this.”

Nick’ heart beat fast as he raced to Rudi’s side. A treaure!

“Omph!” Nick tipped sideways as their other friend and fellow treasure hunter, Rebecca Raintree, elbowed him out of the way. “Take it easy, Beccs, this isn’t the lacrosse field.”

She snorted. “As if you could handle that.” Her dancing eyes and swift grin took the edge off the words. Nick flushed. Rebecca was right. He wasn’t good at sports. Especially lacrosse. Holding the stick while running, throwing, and catching a ball, required way more skill than his

awkward arms and legs could manage. Now science he could do. Nick was awesome at science.

“A skull!” Nick shouted. Yes, today was a good day.

“I thought we were supposed to be looking for dinosaur bones,” said Rebecca. “That doesn’t look like a dinosaur to me. It looks like a cow skull. What’s so special about finding that? This place used to be a farm.”

Nick thrust out his chin. “I think it’s great.” He wasn’t about to let Rebecca take the wind out of his sails. This was the first big discovery for their new science club. And it was going to have a place of honor in their garage clubhouse

“ This would make a great drawing.” Rudi pushed his glasses up on his nose, his brown eyes gleaming, and studied the rock intently.

“Who cares about a dumb ol’ skull, let’s go down to the river and see if we can clean up the shore. That’s what a real science club would do,” said Rebecca.

Nick sighed. Maybe Rebecca was right. This field was a bust. Nick was about to toss the skull aside when he stopped suddenly. His hand froze. Had the sightless skull just winked at him?

Here’s Alex: 

MAD COW SCIENCE CLUB

This first page sets up a fun premise that will seem to blend some fantasy and adventure elements, told with a light touch. I like Rebecca’s strong will, and especially Rudi’s contribution that the skull would make a “great drawing.” This subtle detail speaks volumes about Rudi’s character, and it works to allow the reader to discover Rudi on their own. I feel like more subtlety could be employed for Nick, rather than stopping the action with sentences like, “He wasn’t good at sports. Especially lacrosse.” I know these are essential lines to painting Nick’s character early on, but they stall the action for me in these important first paragraphs. I don’t care that Nick is more inclined towards science class right now – I already kind of understand that with the tension between he and Becca. What I care about is discovering, along with the characters, what they’ve dug up, so avoid characterization when your narrative is in the middle of plot-building.

 

Winter Hare By Laurie J. Edwards – MG

The wolves bared their teeth and slunk closer. Achen scrabbled for a foothold on a huge oak. Splinters bit into her hands and bare feet. Blood pounded in her head and made her ears throb.

A wolf lunged.

Achen yanked her foot upward, scraping it raw. The wolf’s teeth snapped shut, just shy of her foot. The damp breath from its nostrils heated her toes and sent tremors through her body.

Terror propelled her higher. Inch by inch, she dragged her shaking limbs above slavering tongues. Below her, the beasts fanned in a semicircle. Fangs glinted. Yellow eyes glowed, feral in the gloom of winter dusk.

Achen trembled. They waited only for her to tire and lose her grip.

A snarl pierced the air, followed by a high-pitched scream. Then a slab of meat, splattering blood as it flew, arced over the wolves’ heads. The beasts turned, growling, to fight over this chunk of flesh.

While they were occupied, a black-cloaked figure stepped from the trees, drew a bow, and with deadly accuracy sent arrows quivering into the wolves, one by one. When the last carcass lay twitching, the shrouded figure threw back its hood, revealing a mass of coppery curls.

“Mama!” Achen slid down the trunk, not caring that splinters embedded themselves in her palms. She flung herself into her mother’s outstretched arms. Drawing in a shuddery breath, she begged, “Please don’t leave me again, Mama.”

Her mother’s eyes shimmered with tears. “I must, dear heart. You know that.”

Here’s Alex: 

WINTER HARE

This is an action-filled opening that grabs the reader by the throat. I can see the scene, thanks to details like, “heated her toes,” “winter dusk,” and, “quivering into.” The use of fresh language, and spare details allows the reader to fill in the missing details, and that’s a rewarding experience. Trusting the reader always pays off. After re-reading, the only think I am concerned about is Achen’s age, or size. The feral request of not being left along feels rather young, while the ability to climb such a tree is difficult. I think providing the age in this opening would be a detail best kept for later, but again, a word about her size or ability might paint her clearer in my mind. Overall, compelling.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Advice, Agent, Editor & Agent Info, inspiration, revisions, writing Tagged: Agent Alex Slater, First Page Critiques, Improve Writing Skills, Trident Media Group

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CALL FOR HOLIDAY ILLUSTRATIONS – Needs to be at least 500 pixels wide. Send to Kathy.temean (at) gmail.com.

I forgot to give you the date for when I will announce the two book give-a-ways from my post on November 14th. I will announce the two winners on Thanksgiving. Good news! You still can leave a comment on that post for your chance to win up until Wednesday at 6pm EST.

Authors: Did you know that I am repeating what we did with the Halloween Poems? Please send in your Thanksgiving Poems and I will post them on November 26th and the public will vote for their favorite. The winner will receive a chit for a future post about them and or a book they have coming out.

The first book of the UNDER THE NEVER SKY trilogy by Veronica Rossi price has dropped to only $1.99 for the Kindle version on Amazon.

From a New York Times bestselling author comes a dystopian masterpiece called “inspired, offbeat, and mesmerizing” (Kirkus Reviews). Though from different worlds, Aria and Perry must depend on one another for survival. “You won’t be able to put this book down” (Seventeen).

Great Buy! One of my favorite trilogies, BTW. Here is the link on Amazon.

Grave Mercy: His Fair Assassin, Book I (His Fair Assassin Trilogy 1) by Robin LaFevers is $1.99 on the Kindle.

From a New York Times bestselling author comes an Amazon Best Book of the Month with over 300 five-star reviews. In medieval Europe, Ismae discovers her destiny as a handmaiden to Death. But can she kill the man she loves? “A page-turner — with grace” (Kirkus Reviews).

Here is the link on Amazon

 

VOTE NOW FOR THIS YEARS GOODREADS 2014 BEST BOOKS:

http://www.goodreads.com/choiceawards/best-books-2014?utm_campaign=final_round&utm_content=choice_vote_button&utm_medium=email&utm_source=GRCA_2014

 

From Publisher’s Lunch:

Children’s/YA Sales Drive Sales Again In August

The AAP released their monthly Stat Shot statistics from approximately 1,200 reporting publishers for August, with sales remaining true to the pattern from all of 2014: Strong children’s/YA sales — in all formats — continue to carry the trade, accounting for all of the gains and then some, as new release adult hardcovers (and thus companion ebooks) remain lackluster.

For August itself, adult sales of $415 million did rise slightly from $408 million a year ago, and children’s/YA sales of $170 million were up from $141 million last August. Adult hardcover sales were down again, though, and have been weak all year (down 7.2 percent for the first 8 months of 2014); adult ebook sales for August were $107 million, down 2 percent from $109 million a year ago. Adult ebook sales for the year are barely below flat, at $853 million.

Remember that the AAP is measuring net shipments to and from accounts, not consumer sell-through (except for ebooks); so the August numbers reflect stores bringing in inventory to prepare for the big holiday season — but the lack of adult breakout titles may show itself in monthly numbers later this year and early into 2015. Informally, publishing and retail executives have expressed concern over the past month or two over the lack of new, breakout hits pulling consumers’ attention in advance of those holiday sales.

But the smaller children’s/YA market tells a different story. Registering their best month so far in a strong year (children’s sales are up $225 million, or more than 20 percent), August children’s sales were $170 million. Children’s ebook sales gained $5 million, rising to $17.9 million, still leaving total ebook sales of $124.6 up slightly from $122 million a year ago. eBooks accounted for 21 percent of August’s sales.

At Little, Brown Children’s, Alvina Ling has been promoted to vp, editor-in-chief, overseeing the publishing program (excluding licensing). Pam Gruber moves up to senior editor; and Allison Moore is now associate editor.

Last Friday, Wendy McLeod MacKnight was signed by the LKG Literary Agency in New York City for her children’s chapter book! Woo-hoo!

Check back next week for November’s First Page Critiques by agent Alex Slater from Trident Media Group.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Agent, Author, Book, children writing, inspiration, Kudos, Publishing Industry Tagged: 2014 Goodreads Best Book Voting, Children's YA drives Book Industry Sales, LKG Literary, Veronica Rossi's Under the Never Sky

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Lana Popovic

Lana Popovic holds a B.A. with honors from Yale University, a J.D. from the Boston University School of Law, where she focused on intellectual property, and an M.A. with highest honors from the Emerson College Publishing and Writing program. Prior to joining Chalberg & Sussman, Lana worked at Zachary Shuster Harmsworth, where she built a list of Young Adult and adult literary authors while managing foreign rights for the agency.

Filed under: Agent, Editor & Agent Info, inspiration, opportunity, Places to Submit Tagged: Boston University School of Law, Chalberg & Sussman, Lana Popovic, Yale University

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OPPORTUNITY: TWO BOOK-GIVE-A-WAYS

Gayle Aanensen’s new 88 page novella, GREATER THAN GOLD hit the book shelves this week. It is now available on Amazon and will appeal to anyone who celebrates Christmas.

Greater than Gold is the story of two troubled boys and their two Christmases—Oscar in the present day, and Omar way back in biblical time. A good description would be The Polar Express meets The Book of Luke. After all, if a magical train ride can restore a boy’s belief in Santa Claus, why can’t an angel time-travel Oscar back to Bethlehem, where he discovers the peace, joy (and danger!) of the very first Christmas. Twelve-year-old Oscar Olsen is missing his soldier Dad, and he wants nothing (repeat, nothing) to do with Christmas this year! He acts out his anger on his Mom, his friend, Melissa, and even the strange new kid in church, Albert. A young, inexperienced angel, still struggling to control her wings, appears in Oscar’s bedroom. She tells Oscar that her official alphanumerical name is too long, so he can call her Earth Angel 10. She whirls him back to 2,000 years ago, where he becomes Omar, an orphaned camel-boy, riding with the Magi. Omar is a brand-new person in the traditional nativity story. Young readers will be drawn into the boys’ two parallel stories, told in alternating chapters.

Ten days ago, I featured Margo Sorensen new book, SPAGHETTI SMILES and forgot to offer everyone a chance to win a copy her wonderful book illustrated by David Harrington who was featured on Illustrator Saturday. So we are offering the book give-a-way this week.

So if you leave a comment to this post you will automatically have a chance to win GREATER THAN GOLD OR SPAGHETTI SMILES.

If you reblog, tweet, post on your facebook page you will get an extra ticket with your name paced in the hat. This will definitely up your chances for winning one of the books. You can comment now and then do the other things later, but please come back before the deadline and let me know how many things you did. Both will make a nice gift for the holidays. Good luck!

The Unusual Stew by Robert Zammarchi was voted as the best Halloween poem. His prize is a featured post right here on Writing and Illustrating. He can choose to use it right away or hold on to it for when he wants to talk about something special. Thank you to everyone who submitted poems and to everyone who voted.

I think everyone enjoyed this, so I am going to do the same thing for Thanksgiving. If you have a poem or an illustration inspired by the holiday, please email it to me at: Kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail.com – Please put THANKSGIVING POEM or THANKSGIVING ILLUSTRATION in the Subject Box.

Remember to submit your first pages for this month. It is the last one for this year.

The four winning first pages will be sent to Alex Slater from Trident Media for critique. PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE YOUR CRITIQUE POSTED.

Here are the guidelines for submitting a First Page in November:

In the subject line, please write “November First Page Critique” and paste the text in the email. Please make sure you include your name, the title of the piece, and whether it is as picture book, middle grade, or young adult, etc. at the top.

Plus attach your first page Word doc. to email. Format using one inch margins and 12 point New Times Roman font – double space – no more than 23 lines. First page should not be submitted with two pages. Send to: kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com.

PLEASE FOLLOW THE GUIDELINES: Last month a number of submissions were taken out of the mix, due to not following the directions for both the pasted email and the attached Word doc.

DEADLINE: November 24th.

RESULTS: November 28th.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Agent, Contests, illustrating, inspiration, opportunity, Poems Tagged: Agent Alex Slater, November First Page Critiques, Thanksgiving Poems, Two Book Give-a-Ways, Winner of Halloween Poem Contest

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Alec Shane has been promoted to agent at Writers House, which is one of the largest literary agencies in the world. It prides itself on providing an extraordinary amount of individual client attention combined with the full service benefits of foreign and sub rights departments, as well as a full accounting and royalty staff.

Alex began his career at Writers House as an intern in September of 2008 and simply refused to leave, so he was given the wonderful job of Assistant to Jodi Reamer. And while he continues to work under Jodi’s careful tutelage, he is now also in the process of actively building his own list and currently represent a fairly eclectic mix of Children’s and Adult fiction and nonfiction. He is eagerly looking for both.

On the fiction side, he loves mysteries, thrillers, bad-ass protagonists with a chip on their shoulders, beautifully told historical fiction (The Vietnam War, the Maccabees, and The American Revolution fascinate him in particular),well-researched adventure stories, and great horror. He says, “I haven’t been scared to turn off the light in far too long and something needs to be done about it.”

In terms of children’s books, getting boys to read again is especially important to him, and thus he’s particularly on the lookout for a fun middle-grade adventure series, ghost story, or anything else geared toward younger male readers.

On the nonfiction side, he’s attracted to odd, quirky histories, biographies of people he didn’t even know existed (but definitely should have), “guy” reads, humor, narrative nonfiction that sheds light on under-the-radar events and lifestyles, and all things sports. He is also currently up in the air as to whether or not he believes in ghosts, hauntings, and the supernatural, so if you have something that can convince me one way or the other, I’d love to see it.

Alex majored in English at Brown University, a degree he put to immediate use by moving to Los Angeles after graduation to become a professional stunt man. Realizing that he prefers books to breakaway glass, he moved to New York City in 2008 to pursue a career in publishing. Alec quickly found a home at Writers House Literary Agency, where he worked under Jodi Reamer and Amy Berkower on a large number of YA and Adult titles.

Twitter handle: @alecdshane.

He is looking for: Alec is now aggressively building his own list. “What I’m looking for in fiction: mystery, thriller, suspense, horror, historical fiction, literary fiction, and books geared toward young male readers (both YA and MG).

What he’s not looking for: Romance (paranormal or otherwise), straight sci-fi, high fantasy, picture books, self-help, women’s fiction, food, travel memoir.”

PROJECTS/SALES/BOOKS:

SHARK WARS, EJ Altbacker
THE BOOK OF BLOOD, HP Newquist
MONKEY TOWN, Ronald Kidd
HOW THE STATES GOT THEIR SHAPES, Mark Stein
SHARK WARS 6: THE LAST EMPREX, EJ Altbacker (Razorbill)
YOU MIGHT REMEMBER ME: THE LIFE AND TIMES OF PHIL HARTMAN, Mike Thomas (St. Martins)
SEEING AMERICA, Nancy Crocker (Medallion Press)

Submission guidelines: He accepts e-mail and snail-mail queries (although email is preferable), and will usually respond within 4-5 weeks. Please send the first 10 pages of your manuscript, along with your query letter, to ashane [at] writershouse.com with “Query for Alec Shane: TITLE” as your subject heading – no attachments please! If sending via regular mail, please include a SASE with proper postage.

Writers House
21 West 26th Street
New York, NY 10010
phone 212-685-2400

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

 

Filed under: Agent, authors and illustrators, Editor & Agent Info, Middle Grade Novels, opportunity, Places to sumit, Publishers and Agencies, Young Adult Novel Tagged: Agent Looking for Clients, Alex Shane, Fiction and Non-fiction

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You can help make a difference by making a donation.

 

There are lots of things you can receive by contributing to the cause. Example: AGENT critiques and EDITOR critiques from editors at Big 5 publishing houses.

An unforgettable opportunity to have a private dinner in NYC with incredible bestselling & award-winning authors Jacqueline Woodson AND Matt de la Peña

Coming soon – a limited number of discounted registrations for Fans of SCBWI – including a VIP critique at their annual LA conference in 2015! Many thanks to Lin Oliver, Sara Rutenberg and Kim Turrisi for offering this. Can’t wait to see how quickly they go!

Here’s the link to the WNDB campaign: http://igg.me/at/diversebooks Maybe even find something you could give as a holiday gift with your donation.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Agent, authors and illustrators, children writing, Editors, Events, need to know, opportunity, Publishing Industry Tagged: Agent and Editor Critiques, Matt de la Pena, Private Dinner in NYC Jacqueline Woodson, SCBWI Discounted Registrations, We Nee Diverse Books

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THE WINNER OF VOYAGE BY KAREN ROMAGNA IS ELLEN RAMSEY.

Alexander Slater from the Trident Media Group has agreed to be November’s Guest Critiquer.

He is looking to build his list. When asked how he became an agent at Trident, concentrating in the expanding children’s, middle grade and young adult businesses, Alex simply replies, “It was only natural.” While karma is not an established business concept,  it is clear that Alex’s career arc led him in this happy direction.

Start with Alex’s love of fiction, and in particular the stories that captivate the minds and imaginations of young people, from those so young that books are read to them, to young adults who get captivated by creative fiction. “I love to let myself go, and become the reader, whether the story is directed at a ten-year-old or a teenager,” says Alex.

Next is Alex’s experience at Trident, where he has been since 2010. He became a very successful agent representing the company’s children, middle grade and young adult authors in many licensing arrangements in the global marketplace for translation and in the English language in the U.K., having placed books with publishers in dozens of countries. Alex was Trident’s representative at the Bologna Children’s Book Fair in Italy, as well as the broader-based London and Frankfurt book fairs. His experience in representing fiction in these areas showed him what elements in stories work well, and how to maximize the value of what an author has created.

He is now building his list domestically at Trident, while keeping his focus on these areas.  As a Foreign Rights Agent, he sold international rights for authors such as R.J. Palacio, Louis Sachar, Jessica Sorensen, L.J. Smith, Rebecca Donovan, and many others.

Alex’s plan is to, “Look for stories that will rise above the rest with characters that will be remembered well past childhood, with the potential to cross over to other media and formats,” such as programming, games, motion pictures and merchandise. “Trident is the leader on taking advantage of the latest opportunities presented by changing technology,” says Alex, and, “I will be there to help make the latest innovations happen for my authors.”

“I believe that the most successful writers have a bit of the dreamer in them.” And Alex passionately believes that he can help turn their dreams into reality.

What Alex is looking for: Alexander is interested in children’s, middle grade, and young adult fiction and nonfiction, from new and established authors.  As he says, “I’m looking for projects that will rise above the rest…characters you’ll remember well past childhood…books that translate well to film because within them contain incredible stories, not because they’re the latest trend.”  He particularly loves authors like Frank Portman, Jim Shepard, Jenny Han, and Rainbow Rowell.

How to submit: Send a query letter, pasted in the body of the email, to aslater [at] TridentMediaGroup.com. Your query should include only a paragraph about yourself, a brief plot pitch, and your contact information. Please do not send a manuscript or proposal until you have been requested to do so.

Follow him on Twitter: @abuckslater.

The four winning first pages will be sent to Alex Slater from Trident Media for critique. PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE YOUR CRITIQUE POSTED.

Here are the guidelines for submitting a First Page in November:

In the subject line, please write “November First Page Critique” and paste the text in the email. Please make sure you include your name, the title of the piece, and whether it is as picture book, middle grade, or young adult, etc. at the top.

Plus attach your first page Word doc. to email. Format using one inch margins and 12 point New Times Roman font – double space – no more than 23 lines. First page should not be submitted with two pages. Send to: kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com.

PLEASE FOLLOW THE GUIDELINES: Last month a number of submissions were taken out of the mix, due to not following the directions for both the pasted email and the attached Word doc.

DEADLINE: November 24th.

RESULTS: November 28th.

Ellen Ramsey please email me your name and address to receive your book.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Agent, Editor & Agent Info, Middle Grade Novels, New Adult, opportunity, Places to sumit, revisions, Young Adult Novel Tagged: Alex Slater, Trident Media, VOYAGER

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Erika Wassall, the Jersey Farm Scribe here with…

FULL DISCLOSURE – Dealing with a Rejecting Critique

This past Friday the 31st, on Halloween, I had a fright like no ghost or goblin costume could compare to.

My first page critique of Daddy, What’s A Redneck! (see it here)

The full manuscript is a touching story of a father who finds himself surprisingly stumped on how to explain the history and pride of an important piece of his family’s culture. He explains the actual origin of the term, the ingenuity, fun-loving and family-oriented traditions that mean so much to him. Little Lainey’s excitement grows as she learns not only about a term and a family, but about herself.

Suffice it to say: Liza was not a fan.

My first response was the famous kneejerk: “I’m NEVER writing ANYthing EVER again,” supported by the ever-popular: “What’s the point??” and the sister thought: “What does SHE know anyway?”

To be honest, I clicked off the site, without even reading the critique in full. Said nothing to anyone. Ignored it. Told myself it didn’t matter.

But, I am proud to say that it wasn’t long before I took a deep breath and tried to take a more realistic look at what was happening.

Okay. So an agent had read my work, and not liked it.

Ummm…. that’s NOT new!!! I’ve had agents turn my work down before. Even successful authors get rejected.

I decided I would go back to Kathy’s site and read Liza’s comments in full, THREE TIMES before the NJ SCBWI event the next day.

The first time I read them, they made me angry. I disagreed with EVERY word, and rolled my eyes at LEAST half a dozen times.

“She just doesn’t GET it.”

A few hours passed.

The second read, I saw where she coming from with. I shrugged a few times where I had previously crinkled my nose and shook my head. I reminded myself that while my usual writing is exceedingly kid-centric, this manuscript in particular is not mainstream-minded.

I reminded myself of three things: (1) writing is an art, not a science (2) her critique was for MY benefit, she got nothing out of this (3) as a successful agent, she knows much more than I, (and that’s a fact, not an insult).

The next morning, I read it a third time. This time, I saw real value in her comments. She mentions a lack of motivation. WHY is the little girl asking the question in the first place?

Huh…. I guess that could set the stage a bit better….

She mentions the title not properly representing the story itself, that people may even be insulted and not read it.

My “darling” cried out to me to be saved…. But I LOVE the title… I crafted it with certain connotations, liking the idea of that it was counter-balanced by a story of love and honor.

But … um… HELLO??!!! They have to READ the story to know that. If they see the title and turn away, the power of the irony is useless.

By the time I left for the SCBWI event, I no longer felt that dejected combination of anger and self-doubt. After all, as I’ve said myself, rejections are PROOF that I’m a writer!

I’ll be completely honest that I still do not agree with all of her comments. And that’s okay too. It is an earnest somewhat “issue” driven story, which while not something everyone is looking for, can have its place.

But even the comments I may not fully agree with have given me insight into my writing. Some of them I found may even apply to other manuscripts or projects I’m working on.

This week, when I sat down to write my post, fueled by amazing speakers, and an afternoon of great workshops at the SCBWI craft day, including a chance to see my dream editor Amy Cloud (I just genuinely enjoy her personality), I wrote the opening paragraph to three different articles. None of them worked.

I looked over my notes from the workshops. Nothing felt right.

I looked at Kathy’s site, as I often do, and it hit me. I had a chance to write about dealing with critique in a very unique, painfully honest way.

So a big thank you to Kathy for the opportunity. And a genuinely GIANT thank you to Liza for helping me grow as a writer, and realistically, probably also as a person.

And to you… I give a heart-felt thanks for indulging me by reading my story. It has immeasurably solidified for me the importance of not only accepting but also truly embracing critique in order to allow for growth.

Because you know what? Our manuscripts are worth it.

Erika, what can I say other than thank you for giving us another great post. I think we all have experienced this, so I hope others will take note of how you dealt with the angst of a negative critique and benefit from your reaction and journey.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Advice, Agent, Author, demystify, inspiration, Process, rejection, revisions Tagged: Dealing with Rejection, Erika Wassall, First Page Critique, Guest Blogger

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Kirsten Carleton, Waxman Leavell Literary

As an agent, I get to be a champion for the author throughout the challenging publishing process. I love sharing an author’s vision for the book, working to help him or her uncover it, and finding a home for it with editors and readers who also feel that connection. Beyond the individual book, I want to develop satisfying and successful careers that celebrate great talent.

To submit a project, please send a query letter ONLY via email to one of the addresses below. Do not send attachments, though for fiction you may include 5-10 pages of your manuscript in the body of your email.

Please do not query more than one agent at our agency simultaneously. Due to the high volume of submissions, agents will reach out to you directly if interested. The typical time range for consideration is 6-8 weeks.

Kirsten Carleton [email protected]

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Agent, Editor & Agent Info, opportunity, Places to sumit, Young Adult Novel Tagged: Agent Looking to Build List, Agent Personal Interests, Kirsten Carleton, Waxman Leavell Literary

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This illustration was sent in by Patricia Pinsk. She works primarily with water colour, ink, digital photography, coloured pencil and collage. Patricia holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from Vancouver’s Emily Carr Institute of Art and Design (now called Emily Carr University of Art and Design), as well as a Certificate in New Media from Vancouver Film School. Web: www.patriciapinsk.com/ Facebook: www.facebook.com/patriciapinskillustration?ref=hl Twitter: @patriciapinsk

Here are the first page critiques brought to you this month by Liza Fleissig from the Liza Royce Agency.

The Tattletail’s Claw: A CreatureNet Chronicle by Jody Staton – Middle Grade Novel

“Be Careful What You Wish For”

“. . .and that, Clawdia,” says Hershey’s voice in my head, “is why you must never let two-leggers know what we are.”

I lick a paw, and swipe it across my whiskers. Curled up on his wide brown rump, warmed by his body heat, I’m lulled half to sleep.

Zzzzt! A huge horsefly dive-bombs us. Wide awake now, I swat with a paw, and miss. Hershey flicks his long black tail. Whipping horsehairs send the fly tumbling. It buzzes around his legs, he stomps a hoof. His rump becomes an earthquake. I leap to my feet, teetering because I dare not dig into his hide the few claws I have left. We are next to a water trough, and I jump over it to a split-rail fence.

“Sorry about that,” he says. He ducks his head—in apology, I think. No, he’s just rubbing his head against the edge of the trough, scratching the lump that mars his forehead. Then, stern, like the police horse he used to be, Hershey demands that I repeat what he just told me.

I blink. “About the interstellar ark?”

“Wrong. About how two-leggers wouldn’t understand. How can you teach these stories to other Listeners if you don’t know them well yourself?”

I twitch my question-mark tail. “Why? Yesterday you said how few of us—”

“Lunchtime, Clawdia.” A human voice cuts me off. From the back porch of the Schwartz Veterinary Clinic, across a gravel drive from Hershey’s farm, it’s a young voice. And familiar!

“Dookie! I knew she’d come again this summer.” Forget Hershey’s lectures—my favorite person is here! I leap from the fence, streak across the drive. Dookie jumps from the porch, falls over a small bush, picks herself up, and races toward me. We meet in a mess of legs and arms, fur and tight curls, purrings and kisses.

Here is what Liza had to say: 

Staton, The Tattletail’s Claw

The writing itself is nice, with many nice details (like “I lick a paw and swipe it over my whiskers” and “his rump becomes an earthquake”). But my first impression is one of confusion—there are a lot of elements that are unexplained, and it’s rather difficult to paint a picture or figure out what’s going on.

The very first sentence is a difficult and awkward way to begin a story—with dialogue in the midst of being spoken. Perhaps the writer is trying to created intrigue, but younger readers will be confused. For one, we do not yet know they are animals and two, “two-leggers” will be an unfamiliar term.

It takes quite a while to figure out what kind of animals these are, which also causes confusion—you don’t want readers to be wondering about this so much that it detracts from what’s happening in the story.

Other questions: The cat says, “I dare not dig into his hide the few claws I have left”—why is this? Is this a detail we need to know right now, on the first page? Then, the horse says, “How can you teach these stories to other Listeners if you don’t know them well yourself?” First of all, what stories? Secondly, who are the Listeners? Third, why does the cat not seem to care about the stories (and why does the horse)? Again, you want to create intrigue, but you don’t want to leave the reader with so little to work with, and here there are just too many unanswered questions.

If this is a story about talking animals, then it’s a story for young readers. The sentence structure is a bit too complex, and combined with the above questions, I think younger readers are going to feel lost (what is an “interstellar” ark, for example?) We need to have a simpler, cleaner and more appealing introduction to the story. The set-up needs to be such that young readers want to keep on reading. The detail with Dookie is very sweet—perhaps concentrate on this as an introduction—and maybe the fact that these animals can talk is enough of a mystery that the reader will be excited to find out more.

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Daddy, What’s a Redneck? by Erika Wassall Picture Book

Little Lainey squatted, tugged on the pant legs sticking out between the two tires and asked, “Daddy, what’s a Redneck?” (illus: Daddy is underneath a vehicle working on it.)

Daddy laughed. He opened his mouth to answer, but stopped short.

“Hand me that yellow screwdriver and I’ll tell you,” he said. “Your great-granddaddy was a Redneck. He worked out in the cotton fields all day, with the sun beating on the back of his NECK.” Daddy slid out from underneath the engine and smiled. “What happens to your nose and shoulders when you’re out in the sun all day?”

Little Lainey’s eyes lit up, “They get all RED!” she cried.

Daddy nodded. “Exactly! Back then, working in the fields meant you couldn’t go to school. Calling someone a Redneck could have been hurtful, meaning they weren’t very smart. People started to think that folks who worked with their hands all day were fools.”

Little Lainey stared at Daddy’s grease covered hands and sternly shook her head. “But Daddy! Your hands can fix everything! They’re the smartest hands I know.”

“Darn right!” said Daddy. “Folks often try to find ways to put others down. That doesn’t make them right. People all across the country are proud to be Rednecks.” (illus: Daddy’s leaning over so we can see his red neck)

“Why?” asked Little Lainey, as she watched the rainbows dance on the top of the oil pan.

Here is what Liza had to say:

Wassall, Daddy, What’s a Redneck?

Opening paragraph is sweet. I just don’t know how much this topic is going to interest readers. Does this make a story? What is the story here? Dad is answering a question, but what is the story? Why does the little girl ask this question in the first place?

My concern is that the title feels like a joke and it’s hard to take the story seriously upon first hearing what the title is. In fact, there may be a lot of people who take offense before they even have a chance to read the story.

Dad’s answers to the little girl’s question are nice, but there’s a lot that feels a bit too adult here and which young readers might have a hard time understanding: “Folks often try to find ways to put others down” etc.

General kid appeal: a little low. It’s hard to imagine a kid wanting to read this based on the first page (and keep going back to it). Feels a bit too earnest and “issue” driven. Combined with the title, I don’t think this would be something an editor would request over other things currently being shopped.

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JEREMY’S SLED By Sue Heavenrich – Picture Book

Jeremy pulled his new sled out of the car. He squeaked his boots on the fresh snow. “Sugarhouse Hill, here I come!”

“We still need noisemakers for our New Year’s party,” said Dad. “Stick to the small hill until I get back from the store.”

“Okay,” said Jeremy. He waved to Dad and then plodded up the hard-packed path. But instead of stopping where he should have, his feet took him up, up, up to the top of the highest hill in the whole park.

“Just one run,” Jeremy whispered. He climbed into his sled. It teetered, it tottered, it wibbled and wobbled, then –

WHOOSH! Off he flew down, down, down to the line of straw bales that stopped runaway sleds. Jeremy slipped through a gap…

…. and tangled the leash between a woman and her dog.

“Sorry!” Jeremy yelled as the dog flew into the air and landed in the sled. The sled sped across the slick road, down a slope and onto the pond.

“Sliding through!” Jeremy shouted. The sled knocked a puck into the net and flipped a hockey player into the sled.

“Hang on!” The sled slid through a flock of ducks, hit a bump and flew

through the air…

… scared a squirrel out of a tree, knocked a hat off a snowman,

and barely cleared the back fence of the zoo.

Here is what Liza had to say:

Heavenrich, Jeremy’s Sled

I like the fun of the sled ride gone out of control—readers will think this is super fun and entertaining. The beginning is slow, though. Why do we need the earnest, adult details of dad telling Jeremy that he’s going to the store and stick to the small hill? Why not just have Jeremy at the big hill pondering it “mom and dad always tell me to stick to the small hills, but just once I’d like to try the big one” or something like this.

The wild sled ride itself seems to need to be slowed down a bit, too much happens too quickly. The writer could have a lot of fun here by making each thing that winds up in the sled a more fun acquisition.

The title needs to be more interesting and compelling, something that reflects the fun that both Jeremy and the reader are in for. The language as well, while nice, is not really reflective in rhythm and language of a wild sled ride. Writer should look at some comparable picture books for examples.

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Rule Breaker by Angela Larson & Zander Mowat, Middle Grade Novel

Detective Derk’s Spy Manual for the Disgruntled made surveillance sound a lot easier than it was. Knelling on a bent knee, peering around a corner with a mirror, Aaron Adams switched the mirror from one hand to the other. This was just long enough for him to shake out his arm, which had started to go numb. He resumed his position, but his back and knee still ached. For the whole lunch period he’d been looking down the long hall that leads to the school’s cafeteria. He’d been on surveillance since Monday and now that it was Friday, he was losing hope that this would work. An internal debate started to brew in his mind, was it worth skipping lunch again, after the lack of success all week. Then, his target, his jerk older brother Roger Adams, turned the corner.

Roger strolled down the hall in his ‘I’m too important to walk any faster’ mode and pulled what appeared to be a coin from his pocket. Roger never has change, this doesn’t make sense, thought Aaron. Roger walked toward a row of old-fashioned vending machines. These ancient relics had been in the school forever, since a time when their Principle attended here as a kid. They were always full of candy bars, but no one carries change anymore except old people, like Aaron’s rusty teachers.

Aaron’s arm was starting to shake by the time Roger stopped in front of the vending machines. He took slow steady breaths; this was described in Detective Derk’s manual as something you should do if you ever need to steady yourself. He kept the mirror focused on his target.

Roger slid a quarter into a slot, pressed a button and the sound of the candy hitting the tray echoed down the hall. I KNOW he doesn’t carry money.

Aaron leaned so far forward the mirror started to fog from his breath. Before the image…

Here is what Liza had to say:

Larson & Mowat, Rule Breaker

Writing is a bit awkward and clunky—the very first paragraph is actually quite a mouthful to read aloud, and I worry that readers’ introduction to this story will not be as compelling as it needs to be in order to hook readers and get them interesting in reading further. Words like “disgruntled” and “knelling” (is this an error?? didn’t make sense) further confusing the narration.

Kids will find spying fun, but why is one brother spying on another? I think we need a better sense of this. And why is one brother spying on another brother at school (when he can spy on him at home)? In other words, I worry that this may come across as a plot that’s not so exciting (as opposed to having Aaron spy on someone more interesting, like a school enemy, for example).

Words are misspelled throughout (knelling rather than kneeling, Principle rather than Principal) and grammar is shaky. As an agent, this isn’t something I request to see further.

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Thank you Liza for sharing your time and expertise with all of us. It is much appreciated.

Hope everyone has a Happy Halloween.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

 

Filed under: Advice, Agent, inspiration, Process, revisions, Tips, writing Tagged: First Page Critiques, Free Fall Friday, Liza Fleissig, Liza Royce Agency

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CALL FOR ILLUSTRATIONS: Please email to me any illustrations (at least 500 pixels wide) you think I could use with November and December posts. It is a nice way to keep your name out in the public. Please make sure you include a short blurb about yourself with your website link.

DO YOU HAVE A HALLOWEEN POEM? I will be posting an Halloween poem from Eileen Spinelli on Thursday this week and will post a few other Halloween poems that same day, if I receive any. I need them by 5 pm on Wednesday in order to post for Thursday.

Hallee Adelman is represented by Jill Corcorcan.

Gayle Aanensen has a new book coming out next month for the holidays.

Lexa Hillyer reveals the cover of PROOF ABOUT FOREVER that is coming out June 2, 2015.

At Harper Children’s, Karen Chaplin has been promoted to senior editor, In addition, Alex Arnold has been promoted to assistant editor, Katherine Tegen Books.

At Carina Press, Kerri Buckley has been promoted to senior editor.

At HarperCollins Children’s, Christopher Hernandez and Stephanie Stein have been promoted to associate editor, while Alice Jerman moves up to assistant editor.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Agent, Book, Editors, Kudos, News Tagged: Gayle Aanensen, Hallee Alderman, HarperCollins Childrens, Lexa Hillyer, Proof of Forever, Senior Editor Karen Chaplin

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Kaylee Davis, Dee Mura Literary

Kaylee is actively seeking to build her client list in the genres of sci-fi, fantasy, speculative fiction, and young adult; bonus points if there are elements of steampunk, coming-of-age, urban fantasy, espionage, social commentary, or counter culture. Kaylee is drawn to exciting, thought-provoking stories with a fresh perspective that explores what it means to be human. She is happy to work with new and emerging writers.”

Filed under: Agent, Editor & Agent Info, Middle Grade Novels, New Adult, opportunity, Places to sumit, Young Adult Novel Tagged: Agent Wish List, Dee Mura Literary, Kaylee Davis - Agent

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The Laura Dail Literary Agency, Inc

Incorporated in 1996, represents commercial and literary fiction and nonfiction. They are located in NYC.

They represent: Middle Grade, Young Adult, New Adult, Adult, Fiction, Non-fiction, Historical, Romance, Fantasy, Graphic Novels, Screenplays, and Poetry.

Two authors they represent that we all should know: Throne of Glass – Sarah J. Mass and Whatever After – Sarah Mlynowski, plus too many others to list here.

Laura Dail

Laura Dail graduated from Duke University and received her Master’s degree in Spanish from Middlebury College. She has served on the board of the Association of Authors Representatives (AAR) and currently chairs the AAR Royalties Committee.

Over the years, the agency has represented just about every kind of book. We’ve sold hundreds of books and represented dozens of bestsellers. Laura’s now especially interested in historical and high-concept fiction, funny YA, humor, and serious non-fiction. She’s interested in totally escapist entertainment or important books about the things from which we’re trying to escape.

Laura also edited a gift book about adoption called TRULY YOURS.

None of us handles children’s picture books. No new age. We do not handle screenplays or poetry. We do not consider unsolicited Spanish-language material.

Tamar Rydzinski

Tamar Rydzinski worked at Sanford J. Greenburger Associates prior to joining the Laura Dail Literary Agency. She graduated from Yeshiva University in 2003 with a major in literature and a minor in business.

Tamar is not interested in prescriptive or practical non-fiction, humor, coffee table books, or children’s books (meaning anything younger than middle grade). She is interested in everything else that is well-written and has great characters, including graphic novels. A fantastic query letter is essential – “you need to make me want to read your book, and be excited to read it,” she says, “with those first couple of paragraphs.”

Follow her on twitter @trydzinski

Tamra wants some really great series. Here are my top two:

1. YA and/or MG fantasy. I want my fantasy to be epic. And while trilogies are great, I’d be even more excited by fantasy set in a world that can handle six, seven, or even more books.
2. A YA and/or MG thriller series — a kid who has a plausible reason to be involved with crimes (parent in the FBI? Parent a Medical Examiner? He or she regularly hacks into the police computers?) and solves interesting cases. I want this series to be really smart, with twists and turns I don’t see coming.

As with everything I take on, I’m looking for a strong protagonist and a fabulous cast of supporting characters.

If this sounds like your manuscript, please send it my way!

Tamar’s Wish List:

I will tell you what I am ALWAYS looking for. I need strong, feisty,
smart female characters. I like protagonists who know their worth.

Relationships in which the members respect each other, whether they are
romantic or platonic relationships.

In women’s fiction, I want my heart to be pulled out of my chest, thrown
around for a bit, then put back whole and happy.

In fantasy, make sure your world is unique, interesting, and well
thought out. I want to be able to imagine living there.

In nonfiction, I am generally obsessed with medical breakthroughs. Like,
I love reading about a new drug that helps fight ___.

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:

Please send a query letter — or email — telling us about your book and convincing us that we want to read more. If you would like, you may include a synopsis and no more than 10 pages. If you are mailing your query, please be sure to include a self-addressed, stamped envelope; without it, you may not hear back from us.

To save money, time and trees, we prefer queries by email. Please send your query or proposal to: [email protected]

We get a lot of spam and are wary of computer viruses, so please use the word “query” in the subject line and include your detailed materials in the body of your message, not as an attachment.

350 Seventh Avenue, Suite 2003
New York, New York  10001
Tel:  212-239-7477

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Agent, Editor & Agent Info, opportunity, Places to sumit, Publishers and Agencies Tagged: Agent Wish List, Sarah J. Maass, Tamar Rydzinski, The Laura Dail Literary Agency

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Liza Leissig of the Liza Royce Agency has agreed to be our First Page Guest Critiquer for October.

Liza Fleissig, with her partner Ginger Harris-Dontzin, opened the Liza Royce Agency (LRA) in early 2011. Prior to that she had represented a large number of adult based fiction and non-fiction writers.

I invited Liza and Ginger to the New Jersey SCBWI Conference and introduce many of the writers to her that year in June 2011. Liza took on a number of those writers and has successfully placed 31 children’s manuscripts with publishers since then. She has proven herself as a real go getter.

A graduate of the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business with a BS in Finance, and the Benjamin N. Cadozo School of Law with a JD, Liza brings 20 years of litigation and negotiating experience to the field. On the children’s side of publishing, being a mother to a preschooler girl and a pre-teen boy, she is interested in everything from picture books to middle grade and young adult. She is open to anything that really speaks to her.

Liza Fleissig
Liza Royce Agency LLC
1049 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10028

The four winning first pages will be sent to Liza for her critique. PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE YOUR CRIQUE POSTED.

Here are the guidelines for submitting a First Page in October: In the subject line, please write “October First Page Critique” and paste the text in the email. Please make sure you include your name, the title of the piece, and whether it is as picture book, middle grade, or young adult, etc. at the top.

Plus attach your first page Word doc. to email. Format using one inch margins and 12 point New Times Roman font – double space – no more than 23 lines. Send to: kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Guidelines must be followed. Four first page will be critiqued and the results posted.

DEADLINE: September 24th.

RESULTS: October 31st.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: Agent, children writing, Contest, Editor & Agent Info, opportunity, Places to sumit Tagged: Free Fall Friday, Liza Fleissig, Liza Royce Agency, October First Page critiques

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