SCENE: DEN IN THE EVERYBODY HOUSEHOLD.
AT RISE: MRS. EVERYBODY IS HAVING AN IMPORTANT CHAT WHILE MR. EVERYBODY IS READING A NEWSPAPER
MRS. EVERYBODY
Why? Why must you torture me like this? What did I ever do to deserve this treatment other than heap undying love and devotion to your upkeep?
(MR. EVERYBODY glances up and returns to reading his book)
MRS. EVERYBODY
You seem to be dying slowly right in front of my eyes and I'm at a loss how to save you
MR. EVERYBODY
(looking around)
You talking to me?
MRS. EVERYBODY
Fed you top of the line nutritional supplements and this is the thanks I get
MR. EVERYBODY
I appreciate your cooking, honey. You make fantastic meals and really, I'm in great shape
MRS. EVERYBODY
You are not aging well, sweetheart
MR. EVERYBODY
(gets up to examine himself in the mirror on the wall behind him)
For the record, I'm in better condition now than I was when we married. Sure there's a few extra inches on my stomach but that's due to your good cooking. Work out on the tread mill...
MRS. EVERYBODY
I fear it's time for us to part, sweetheart. You are halfway between this world and the next
MR. EVERYBODY
Say what? Is it something I said?
MRS. EVERYBODY
You've given me a lot of pleasure over the years. Your nightly performance kept me riveted and it's something I will cherish all my life
MR. EVERYBODY
Hey! There's still a lot of life left in this body! Is there somebody else? I can change, y'know!
(MRS. EVERYBODY turns around and stares at her husband)
MRS. EVERYBODY
It's just so hard to say goodbye! Did you say something?
MR. EVERYBODY
You never said a word. I deserve to know who's the new love of your life!
MRS. EVERYBODY
Say what? What are you babbling about?
MR. EVERYBODY
You're leaving me!
MRS. EVERYBODY
Are you insane? You thought that... That is really funny
MRS. EVERYBODY
There is nothing funny about being informed that your wife is leaving your for someone else. It's always the husband that is the last to know
MRS. EVERYBODY
Husband of mine - I was talking to my prayer plant here that is slowly croaking after 40 years and I'm about to replace her with a new one
MR. EVERYBODY
How was I supposed to know? There was only you and me in the room and I never guessed you were talking to a...a... house plant
MRS. EVERYBODY
I've raised this houseplant from a small little stalk. Fed her...coddled her...and she gave me years of pleasure but lately she seems to have taken a turn for the worst. The writing is on the wall...or in this case, in all those brown leaves.
MR. EVERYBODY
A plant is a plant is a plant. Don't know what the big thing is. Just empty the pot and replace it with a new one. Simple
MRS. EVERYBODY
How could you be so cruel and callous! You just can't...discard it like it that!
MR. EVERYBODY
I dunno. Never bothers you to do that with your clothes
MRS. EVERYBODY
Besides, I read an article that said plants can sense pain and they react to it. How could I betray my friend after all the years we've been together? I feel like a killer! I feel like I'd be ripping out her guts and tearing her apart
MR. EVERYBODY
Not that I pretend to feel what you feel but check this out
(MR. EVERYBODY shows her a page of the newspaper)
MRS. EVERYBODY
What's this? The Plant-a-atrium is having a sale on houseplants?
(turns to look at plant and at newspaper ad)
(MRS. EVERYBODY cont'd.) 'Parting is such sweet sorrow my formerly green friend. Go meet your other friends in the composter! Do not think badly of me for I shall remember you with great fondness.' I'm ready.
MR. EVERYBODY
Ready for...?
MRS. EVERYBODY
To make new friends at the Plant-a-atrium, silly! We all gotta go some time. I mean, it's just a silly plant for heaven's sake...
new posts in all blogs
By: scriberess,
on 4/13/2015
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: humor, comedy, death, funny, play, plants, short play, comedy sketch, play-ette, continuing story, Mr. and Mrs. Everybody talk plants, plant life, scenes from life - a short playette, short comedy, Add a tag
By: scriberess,
on 7/21/2014
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: humor, funny, water, flood, Noah, phone call, continuing story, arks, Arks to Go: the Flood II, Add a tag
ANGIE
Hello?
NOAH
Guess who?
ANGIE
You have the wrong number
(She disconnects. Phone rings once more)
(cont'd. ANGIE)
Not again... Hello?
NOAH
We seem to have been disconnected...
ANGIE
Not really
NOAH
This is Angie, right?
ANGIE
Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. Depends who's asking
NOAH
I get it! You're joking with me, aren't you? Of course you are. 'hahahahahahah' See? I have a sense of humor
ANGIE
I'm not trying to be funny, I can assure you
NOAH
Oh...sorry 'bout that. I thought you were. Anywaaaay... so whad'ya think about all the rain we've been having? Think somebody is trying to tell us something?
ANGIE
I'm not in the mood for another one of your philosophical lectures, Noah. I'm gonna disconnect, now.
NOAH
I feel you're upset... Joe busy, is he?
ANGIE
I'm watching a movie. Alone. By myself. What does that tell you? But since you asked, Joe, as many have before him, has moved on
NOAH
No problem-o. Would you like me to look up his new address? I have access to everyone's number on the planet...
ANGIE
I don't want to discuss this with you. Good-bye...
NOAH
Your voice tells me something is wrong
ANGIE
Something wrong? You have to ask me if something is wrong? You interrupted what could have been the perfect romantic evening by showing up at my door
NOAH
It was a friendly visit. I thought we could get to know each other before embarking on our trip
ANGIE
Excuse me? A really old guy with straggly long hair and a white beard dragging on the floor, dressed in army fatigues and smelling of animal dung, shows up at my door and starts asking my date questions about the next flood and his experience in building arks. What do you think he'd do?
NOAH
Would you like me to call him and apologize? Perhaps I could make it up to him by offering him a ride on my ark
ANGIE
What ark? You don't have an ark, Noah! Remember? Now if you don't mind and even if you do, I'm going to make some popcorn and...
NOAH
Popcorn? I LOVE popcorn. I'll be right over along with a friend or two...
ANGIE
I don't think so... Hello? Noah?
(DOORBELL RINGS. SOUND OF ELEPHANT AND MONKEY CAN BE HEARD)
(cont'd. ANGIE) No...please no...
(Angie opens the door. Noah is standing outside)
NOAH
Hope you don't mind that brought along a few friends. They get a little crazy without supervision. So? Where's the popcorn? Tell me, Angie - have you ever thought about adopting a pet?
(TO BE CONTINUED)
By: scriberess,
on 6/18/2014
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: humor, comedy, play, continuing story, add to the dialogue, arks, Arks to Go - the sequel, Add a tag
By: scriberess,
on 5/25/2014
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Arks to Go: the prequel. Angie and Noah, continuing story, humor, short plays, play-ette, Add a tag
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By: scriberess,
on 4/13/2015
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: humor, comedy, death, funny, play, plants, short play, comedy sketch, play-ette, continuing story, Mr. and Mrs. Everybody talk plants, plant life, scenes from life - a short playette, short comedy, Add a tag
0 Comments on SCENES FROM LIFE - A SHORT PLAYETTE: MR. AND MRS. EVERYBODY TALK PLANTS as of 1/1/1900
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By: scriberess,
on 7/21/2014
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: humor, funny, water, flood, Noah, phone call, continuing story, arks, Arks to Go: the Flood II, Add a tag
A FRIENDLY RE-CALL
by Eleanor Tylbor
SCENE: ANGIE'S APARTMENT.
AT RISE: ANGIE IS WATCHING TV, ALONE. PHONE RINGS
AT RISE: ANGIE IS WATCHING TV, ALONE. PHONE RINGS
ANGIE
Hello?
NOAH
Guess who?
ANGIE
You have the wrong number
(She disconnects. Phone rings once more)
(cont'd. ANGIE)
Not again... Hello?
NOAH
We seem to have been disconnected...
ANGIE
Not really
NOAH
This is Angie, right?
ANGIE
Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. Depends who's asking
NOAH
I get it! You're joking with me, aren't you? Of course you are. 'hahahahahahah' See? I have a sense of humor
ANGIE
I'm not trying to be funny, I can assure you
NOAH
Oh...sorry 'bout that. I thought you were. Anywaaaay... so whad'ya think about all the rain we've been having? Think somebody is trying to tell us something?
ANGIE
I'm not in the mood for another one of your philosophical lectures, Noah. I'm gonna disconnect, now.
NOAH
I feel you're upset... Joe busy, is he?
ANGIE
I'm watching a movie. Alone. By myself. What does that tell you? But since you asked, Joe, as many have before him, has moved on
NOAH
No problem-o. Would you like me to look up his new address? I have access to everyone's number on the planet...
ANGIE
I don't want to discuss this with you. Good-bye...
NOAH
Your voice tells me something is wrong
ANGIE
Something wrong? You have to ask me if something is wrong? You interrupted what could have been the perfect romantic evening by showing up at my door
NOAH
It was a friendly visit. I thought we could get to know each other before embarking on our trip
ANGIE
Excuse me? A really old guy with straggly long hair and a white beard dragging on the floor, dressed in army fatigues and smelling of animal dung, shows up at my door and starts asking my date questions about the next flood and his experience in building arks. What do you think he'd do?
NOAH
Would you like me to call him and apologize? Perhaps I could make it up to him by offering him a ride on my ark
ANGIE
What ark? You don't have an ark, Noah! Remember? Now if you don't mind and even if you do, I'm going to make some popcorn and...
NOAH
Popcorn? I LOVE popcorn. I'll be right over along with a friend or two...
ANGIE
I don't think so... Hello? Noah?
(DOORBELL RINGS. SOUND OF ELEPHANT AND MONKEY CAN BE HEARD)
(cont'd. ANGIE) No...please no...
(Angie opens the door. Noah is standing outside)
NOAH
Hope you don't mind that brought along a few friends. They get a little crazy without supervision. So? Where's the popcorn? Tell me, Angie - have you ever thought about adopting a pet?
(TO BE CONTINUED)
0 Comments on Arks to Go II - the Flood as of 1/1/1900
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By: scriberess,
on 6/18/2014
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: humor, comedy, play, continuing story, add to the dialogue, arks, Arks to Go - the sequel, Add a tag
SCENE: LIVING ROOM OF AN APARTMENT. LATE EVENING
Angie and her male friend, Joe, evening together is interrupted by a knock on the door. Angie attempts to ignore the interruption but it continues, growing in intensity
JOE
Aren't you going to answer the door
ANGIE
Knock? I don't hear a knock. Now where were we...
JOE
You're such a joker, Angie. It sounds urgent
ANGIE
Probably the neighbor upstairs, complaining again. She is such a pain. Bangs on the ceiling even when I sneeze. 'Get a life, Mrs. Plotnik!'
JOE
If you don't answer the door - I will!
ANGIE
O-kay...if you insist but I know I'm gonna regret this
(Angie opens the door to an elderly man (NOAH) with a very long white beard and hair down to the floor, dressed in army fatigues. He rushes by her)
NOAH
Hel-lo! Noah's my name and arks are my fame! A little frivolity always helps to break the ice in a social situation, don't you think? Angie - introduce me to your friend, here
ANGIE
Noah - remember I told you my carpets don't need cleaning? Call me in a few years - preferably longer. Now if you'll excuse me...
(she tries to lead Noah to the door, unsuccessfully)
NOAH
You're just joking, aren't you! We're old friends, remember?
ANGIE
How can I forget?
SOUND: ELEPHANTS
JOE
What's that? Sounds like elephants
ANGIE
He comes with his own sound effects. Um - didn't I mention that Noah here, does sound engineering for movies?
NOAH
No I don't! Aw - you're just teasing, right? 'I'll be back soon, guys!' They don't like to be left alone. Elephants are such babies. They're afraid of the jackals and the monkeys love to tease them. You know - when the boss is away... So...Joe - whad'ya think of all the rain we've been having?
JOE
Haven't given it a lot of thought, to be honest
NOAH
Maybe you should. Could be the beginning of ...
ANGIE
...Noah here runs a zoo. Perhaps you should be getting back to your animals, Noah! Nice of you to visit...
(Angie attempts to move Noah towards the door but he resists)
JOE
You two seem like old friends. How did you meet?
NOAH
Well...Angie phoned me about six months ago and asked me about building an ark...
ANGIE
...as a gift for my nephew. He's into arks and I wanted to give him something unique
NOAH
...and we've been friends on-and-off
ANGIE
Good to see you again. Call me sometime
NOAH
Somehow we lost touch with each other and I came across her number while cleaning out the parrot cages the other day and here I am! So Joe - do you like to sail boats, perchance, or maybe you build boats?
ANGIE
Stop with the questions, already, Noah! See you around....
JOE
As a matter of fact, I'm handy with a hammer and nails
NOAH
No! What a coincidence. I'm looking for someone to help me with a project I'm working on that involves someone who knows how to put two pieces of wood together
JOE
Seriously? Maybe I could help you
NOAH
You don't have to be an expert. I have a set of plans laid out by Someone who makes building an ark as easy as 1-2-3
ANGIE
Hello? Joe? I'm here. I think I hear the elephants calling you, Noah.
JOE
Why don't I give you my cell number? We can discuss this further over lunch
NOAH
No need for that. I'll get in touch. Isn't this exciting, Angie? You, Joe...building a new ark together...think of the possibilities
ANGIE
My heart beats with eager anticipation at the aspect of spending time with wild animals. Why do I think my life is not my own, anymore...
NOAH
I know what you mean. It's going to be such fun. Now Joe - do you get sea sick?
TO BE CONTINUED...
0 Comments on Arks to Go II: the Flood - The Plan as of 6/18/2014 11:13:00 AM
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By: scriberess,
on 5/25/2014
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Arks to Go: the prequel. Angie and Noah, continuing story, humor, short plays, play-ette, Add a tag
Readers of this blog are aware that I've been sharing some short pieces focusing on an encounter between a human (Angie) and Noah, he of the ark fame. Basically, the story line focuses on Angie's observation of the none-ending rain falling everywhere and her decision that drastic steps must be taken to save herself.
Yesterday, I posted the third installment in the series (yes there will be more) but thought perhaps I'd provide the blog coordinates for the first two written a short time back.
Arks to Go: Angie meets the ark builder
http://a-playwrights-ramblings.blogspot.ca/2011/05/havent-decided-yet-whether-or-not-to.html
Arks to Go: the Flood Sequel II
http://a-playwrights-ramblings.blogspot.ca/2014/05/arks-to-go-flood-sequel.html
Enjoy.
0 Comments on Arks to go: the prequels as of 5/25/2014 8:34:00 PM
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