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Right now I’m drawing this in a freezing cold house.  It’s freezing cold because the furnace went out, and the company it’s under warrantee with can’t come until Monday.

We’re also experiencing the coldest weather we’ve had in years.  (Go figure.)

I don’t mind though because it means I get to sleep in my fridge, which is very warm comparatively.  Plus:  FOOD!

Did you have a good New Years?  Have you already made your yearly unrealistic goals?

Last year I decided to record everything I ate on my phone.

It was the worst week of my life.

The first couple days I did pretty good…until I realized that not eating at all was way easier than logging it in my phone.

So I didn’t eat.

It got to the point where I didn’t want to get out of bed and I was seeing black blotchy things whenever I lifted five pounds or more.

About a week in, I was beat.  So much for that goal.

My little sister made that same goal this year.

She’s eaten an apple so far.

I’ve decided that this year I’ll be much more realistic with my resolutions.  In fact, I’ve decided to make them UNresolutions–things I won’t do this year.

They might actually get done!

First off, I resolve to quit staring out my window at my neighbors at all hours of the day.  (They’ve said it makes them uncomfortable.  I think they’re being overly sensitive.)

The same goes for following them around in my car, parking in front of their house and watching them come and leave.

This was one of my favorite pastimes and I’m really bummed about this resolution.  (I secretly think they like it when I do this.)

My next unresolution is to not spend a penny on groceries–the whole year!

…And visit my parents more often!

I live about a mile away from my parents.  They really love it.

My next unresolution:  I resolve to NOT run the presidential candidates and all their little minions over with a giant tank that has poisoned spikes attached to its treads.

This one will be hard.  Really, really hard.

And then there’s this unresolution:  This year, I won’t buy a little white puppy in a moment on loneliness and then realize I’m always at work and can’t take care of it so I give it to my mom.

This has happened the past several years.  (Really.)  Sorry, mom.  (She loves it.)

I unresolve to never leave my home again.

Ever.

And lastly, I resolve to not set my sofa on fire in a moment of broken-furnace weakness.

This one will be the hardest one of all.

(Time to go make my bed in the fridge).