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I know every one's gonna be over here in another minute. Hope it's okay to post here and not there. I'll miss you, dear Miss.

I’m brought low, this day.
Yet, she lives on
To bring forth a new age,
Alas, less one Snark.
So more or less
A coiterie of nitwits
Slog On,
Their devotions supplicate,
Their querys prevaricate,
When they doth strive to impress
She aimith staunchly,
Launching a clue at their digress.
But now, we Snarklings gently weep.
Our cyber tears
No less real
Than the company we keep.
Thus it has been and thus will forever be:
What lurks and sleeps and stealthily slinks
Beneath our collective soul – You
Were a virtual blessing to us all.

ME

See Miss Snark. It's just like Jimmy Stewart's character in "It's a Wonderful Life." You are loved and needed. Our world wouldn't be the same without you.

Please don't retire. Just cut back. We'll understand. Tell us what we can do to help. Anything!

I'd have to agree with "the anti-wife." Even if you stopped answering reader questions and posted your own thoughts on books and publishing and George Clooney, say, several times a month... well, that'd be MUCH better than nothing.

You're not melting. No bad witch for you, dear! You're like Glenda, the Good Witch, who floats in on a bubble and tells us that we've had what we needed all along, we just didn't see it 'til you showed us.

Oh, don't start showing weakness now! If you do that, the squirrels win!

Could you at least drop in on writers' blogs for a brief hello once in a while?

You're an icon -- we can't quit cold turkey.

Katie's right - you can't show weakness. We'll drag you screaming down from the tree where you're hiding with KY. And that would just be a tragic end to the saga.

Hey - you ought to repost that mock book cover from the very beginning of the blog. You know, for proper cyclical ending is beginning crap.

So i was the one with all the glory,
While you were the one with all the strain.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
And everything i would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.


Yeah, I know...lame, but it's truthful! Chumplet has it right when she asks if you might possibly consider guest appearences on blogs? Maybe? Per chance?

I still can't believe it.

Are you sure I didn't fall asleep and it's April 1, 2008?

Who the hell is gonna tell me if my hook sucks or not with such honesty, such...Snarkiness?

I hope you pop in around the blogsphere occasionally ~ it won't be the same without you, you know.

You better stay open! I just got DSL and can now visit again after 8 months without a snarky read.

Praise the Lord...

Egads...now I have to go find Mr. Clooney!

(to the tune of "Bobby Jean" by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, from the album "Born in the USA")

Well I went by your blog the other day
Your grandmother said you went away
She said there was nothing that I could have done
There was nothing nobody could say
Now I learned from you what not to do
And KY too, when he did bark
I wished I would have known
I wish I could have called you
Just to say goodbye Miss Snark.

Now you hung with me when all the others
Turned away, turned up their nose
We liked the same novels, we liked the same writers
We liked good strong prose
You posted the wildest, the strangest things
I ever did see, just like Space Ark
I wish you would have told me
I wish I could have talked to you
Just to say good bye, Miss Snark.

Now I just set my hair aflame
And threw my rejections in the bin
There ain't nobody nowhere no how
Could teach me like you did -- pass me the gin...

Maybe you'll be out in the 212 somewhere
On the IRT, inching along
Or in the Hamptons one August, there'll be a radio playing
And you'll hear me sing this song.
Well if you do you'll know I'm thinking of you
Walking with George in Central Park
And I'm just posting one last time
Not to change your mind
But just to say I'll miss you, baby
Good luck, good bye, Miss Snark.

(Clarence Clemons sax solo here until we fade out...)

Chumplet's right. Your not really going to ask us to quite cold turkey, are you?

I still have questions... =(

But I understand. I really do. Can we throw cluegun fodder (instead of rice) at your wedding?

Miss Snark,

I had a very serious family crisis this week and stopped all work until tonight (something so bad I even ignored a contract, which I've never done in my life!)But I'm glad I took the time from my hospital visits tonight to read the blog.

Thank you so much for all this. There isn't a blog on the web with a voice like yours.

Good lord, these poems are making me cry...and laugh. ::blows nose::

Thanks for sharing them.

I'm also in the camp with Chumpley - come and visit us from time to time, won't you? Maybe then we won't miss you quite so much...

Nah - we will, but at least it'd be something to look forward to!

God, please don't go. I just found you. You made me laugh. You made me think. I'm in lust. I'm in love. I'm in devastation. How can you possibly think it's enough? How can you possibly know we've been satiated? We're not. And neither are you. And you know it. Reconsider. It can't be the end. What about the next Crap-o-meter? Surely that would lure you back.

You created a community--a strange community to be sure, but an important one. It will live on even after the blog is taken down. I've certainly met people through your blog that I will keep up with for years to come.

I'm going to try to make an effort to visit a few more of those blue hyperlinked names before the blog is gone--lots of cool people have passed through here in the last couple years.

It will take quite a few pails of gin before we're all able to adjust to this loss. Thanks for giving us at least a few posts to work through the transition and try to locate our actual lives again. I know I left mine around here somewhere.

Do what ya gotta do with at least my (and many other's I'm sure) blessing.

I have absolutely enjoyed reading what you had to write.

I personally think you could (if you wanted) just write. Let people comment but don't moderate them. Take the emails out. Then on days when you want to communicate with the people here you can but on the days when you can't you don't need to.

Honestly I worry about ya..what will you do without this fantastic (and entertaining) means to vent.

Best wishes.

Dear Killer Yapp--

I just want to say that with the sad, sad melting away of Miss Snark, there is a place for you in our home. We have no squirrels or cats. But we do have two children. Um. But they are really snarky. I think you would like them.

--Matt

p.s. So sorry to see Miss Snark go. If she hadn't just MELTED (!) I would like to tell her thanks for selflessly sharing her knowledge and sense of humor and time with all us clueless folk. And if I could just figure out who she was, I would make sure I wrote a novel she would love so that I could hang out with her. Adios, Miss Snark and muchas gracias.

Sung to the "We Love You Conrad" tune in Bye, Bye Birdie.


We love you Snar-r-ky, oh yes we do.

We don't love anyone...as much as you!

When you're not near-r us, we're blue.

Oh Snar-r-ky, we love you

While I am still in stage one of the grief process - see below, I'm going to try and bypass... anger... and go straight to bargaining... I'll start with returning the two spurs for two posts a weeks - and comments only once a week...



Denial (this isn't happening to me!)

Anger (why is this happening to me?)

Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)

Depression (I don't care anymore)

Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

Just noticed the "About" info on the blog has been changed to past tense with a note about going dark. I'll still read your archives.

Mister Clooney is one damn lucky man! I hope you can leave him for a couple of hours once a month or so for just a little, teeny, tiny visit with us snarklings.

Whatever your decision--thank you, thank you.

I want to second what others are saying. If the letters are too much or too repetitive, cut them. If the blog is too much work, scale back. Act like most other bloggers: post when you have something pithy to say, even if it's only once a month.

Does the effort have to be all or nothing?

God, I never thought I'd be begging a blogger to keep blogging, but your absence is going to create an enormous gap in the community.

I just heard the news, Miss Snark. This morning at an MWA meeting another writer told me, knowing I'm a fan. And I thought, I was just on there last night, just finished reading the latest...

So I asked those attending for two minutes of silence in your honor. Had there been gin, we would've lifted our pails. The closest I got was Sierra Nevada Pale Ale... (Pale/pail... not bad when you think about it.)

Thanks for everything, and thanks for letting me interview you for the MWA Third Degree.

Your fan,
RB

I'd just like to add my "NOOOOOOO!" to the numerous others already voiced. I'm really going to miss you.

And say that I would really like to hear from you on the blog from time for time, no matter how infrequently.

Oh, one more thing. Thank you SO much for running such a superb website for as long as you did. I'm not sure how I'll manage without you, but reading it taught me a lot.

I fully respect -- nay, HONOR! -- your decision to live your life as you choose.

Perhaps one last Clue-Gun attack on those nitwits who still seem to believe it's all about them! People! Get a grip!

Best of everything to you! My only regret is that when my novel is published, I won't be able to thank you personally for all your wisdom and good humor.

Relax. Enjoy. Spend your time with George, as the Goddess intended you to do...

Yup, I decided to give up blogging as well.

But instead of melting. I’ve flown.

To the tune of 'To Sir With Love'

Those nitwit days of pictographs and sending crap are gone
But in the slush I know they will still live on and on
But how do you thank someone who has taken you from Parker to Pynchon
It isn't easy but I'll try

If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters
That would soar a thousand feet high 'To Miss Snark, With Love'

The time has come for closing blogs and beverage alerts must end
And as I leave I know that I am leaving my best friend
A friend who taught me eight point font ain't what you want
That's a lot to learn, but what can I give you in return?
If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start
But I would rather you let me give my heart 'To Miss Snark, With Love'

You really must reconsider. You're not just a font of good advice and fun. You're provide an outlet for socially deprived pixies and goats.

My day is not a good one unless I can come here and read the latest comments, gossip, and ... sometimes ... foolishness.

You're really making me and Bill E. Goat very unhappy. It's not nice to be mean to pixies. Truly it isn't.

I was going to do a lyrical tribute, but I decided I'd make you one instead.

Don't worry, the song is used with plenty of irony!

http://members.optusnet.com.au/emmakate3/Snark.mp3

Miss Snark? You rock.

Yanno, quite apart from the no-bullshit help and information, we'll miss KY and Grandmother Snark and the smelling salts...

You learned who I was through this blog of yours. You looked out for me when I got my agent. I know that. You are more than a blogger. You are a conduit for the business who makes a difference to individual writers at ALL levels. You don't promote authors, you have no personal agenda, you don't need to sugarcoat to protect your reputation because of the anonymity. Who else can really talk about the S&S situation with honesty? An agent using her name must be careful not to overstep while Miss Snark and grind her stiletto heels in her response. That matters.

Change the format - instead of a constant barrage of questions from we the unwashed newbies, you choose the topic. How about an occasional "Miss Snarks Sister" like when Sesame Street brought in Mr. Noodle's brother Mr. Noodle for when Bill Erwin wasn't available to shoot? Maybe???

Thank you.

Dear Respect and HONOR! Anon:

The best compliment you can pay someone who is retiring is an emotional plea not to retire. I'm not a nitwit who needs a cluegun, I'm a fan who wants to say "I love you" as well as "goodbye."

Wow- I miss a few weeks of trolling through the blogs because of life, and what do I find when I return? I'm speechless.

I've learned so much from you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Much success to you!

We're going to make it, fellow snarklings. It's not like the real person is moving to Mars. She's still in the 212 and we still have the archives.

Please let her go. She needs to rest. Tell her thank you, wish her luck and let her go.

I think you should just stop answering questions and still continue to use the Miss Snark platform, once a month, say, to write a witty column about whatever catches your fancy at the time. The blogging/questions thing is a bit much, but you shouldn't just go away. My two cents.

Miss Snark, I discovered you through a writer's forum only a year ago. In that year, you've saved me from thousands of nitwittery mistakes.
I know you think you've said it all,there nothing new to say, but I'm so thick headed, I had to HEAR is more than once.
I'm so sad that you're stopping. You're the fourth funny, snarky blog I've lost in the last month.
I do hope you'll reconsider.

But wait, before you go. I just have one other question. Maybe two.

If I'm including gifts with my query letters to all of my dream agents, do I need to include an SASE? Yanno, just in case they feel uncomfortable accepting a gift.

If yes, does that mean I should include 2 SASEs? One for the standard reject, the other for the returned gift?

And, Miss Snark, what's your forwarding address?

Cheers,

I know I've never posted here before (never had anything to add), but I'd like to throw in my two cents.

Reading this blog has been a highlight of my day for the past several months. Both because it contained good practical advice that I, as an aspiring writer, could use, and because it showed me that I'm not the dumbest querier (is that a word?) out there, and that I'm probably actually on the right track.

I'll miss the daily laughs and advice.

The greatest tribute we can give our beloved Queen Snark is to carry her Snarkilicious Torch forward into the next generation of Snarklings. As Yoda once said, "Pass on what you have learned."

Not to sound incredibly self centered and self referential, but this is the worst news I've had since I began reading your blog and feeling as if maybe my writing had a chance. Honest to goodness, Miss Snark, you matter to people who are trying to live up to their ambitions without acting like blithering morons. If you were a character in a novel some wit-free wannabe sent you for review, would you accept this as plot development or ask for a rewrite?

Sheesh, next you'll be mailing yourself envelopes full of glitter and unicorn decals.

I'm crushed. I realize that and 50 cents will get you fifty cents, but I'm still crushed.

verification: ttjqne (the sound of me being crushed)

Give me some hope this isn't really the end. Why not re-open the blog for one 24 hour period once a year. We'll mark the date in our diaries (Christmas Eve?) and gather here awaiting Miss Snark's brief return,

Alice

May I paint and draw the pictures of the baby animals?
Please! Thank-you, Quilt Knit.

Ooooh, does this mean we can't keep you away!?!?!?!? It's kind of like what I'm doing trying to get off my anti-depressant--you have to wean us!!! Sllloooooowwly...

Like how about you post maybe just like twice a week instead of two or three times a day?? Huh, can ya, Puhleeeease!!!

I'm also thinking a Miss Snark Tells All book, including some of the best Q&A of the past two years. And your snarkism and wit, and maybe the FOREWARD BY GEORGE CLOONEY!

And hey, I know a good agent or two who can probably get ya that book deal (and I know you said once you'd never do a book, but come on, we never thought you'd LEAVE US!!!) A book--it's tangible. We can hold it. We can refer to it as needed, DAILY!!!

Please don't go!

Goodbye Miss Snark. I'm sure you've heard it a million times before, but I'm going to miss you.

Enjoy your honeymoon with Mr. Clooney. Perhaps if he does another sequel, he'll let you be the fourteenth Ocean.

Bernita said: Yanno, quite apart from the no-bullshit help and information, we'll miss KY and Grandmother Snark and the smelling salts...

Oh, and that lovely burnt smell of Miss Snark's flaming tresses.

It's hard to let her go, but this parting must be very difficult for her as well. I can't imagine it was easy to just quit. Yes, she'll have more time, but she won't have us, her adoring snarklings. :)

Good-bye and God bless you, Miss Snark.

I thought Clooney was gay. This brings into question everything you posted. Hmnn.

Best wishes. Don't be too embarrassed to change your mind and come back at a later date!

I'm sorry to see you leave. Best of luck in everything you do. I've enjoyed your blog immensely.

Just when I had a question you hadn't answered before (sniffs indignantly).

Come on, MS. How can you sleep at night, knowing you've pushed us poor snarklings out of the nest, into the big, bad writing world all on our own...

Why, at this very moment, I'm about to make a Snarkless decision that could wind up costing me my writing career.

Well, okay. Maybe not the WHOLE career--maybe I'll just end up looking like a nitwit.

Still...will you enjoy having that on your head??

Kidding, Miss Snark. Thanks for all the hours of enjoyment, the words of wisdom, and the impatience with stupidity.

You're truly a legend.

You've given us your best and only asked in return that we learn.

God bless you, Miss Snark, and your little dog too.

I agree with Kimber An. I, for one, choose to honor Miss Snark by passing on what I have learned. At least once a week, I tell my writer friends to "quit obsessing" or hit them with a "clue-by-four." Even my children now say, "Dear dog...." When my 7-year old makes a promise, she says, "I swear to dog."

It's the finest tribute I can imagine.

We'll miss you, Miss Snark.

How fitting that I heard the news about Snark going Dark on the very day my agent sent me my first book contract to peruse...thanks, Miss Snark. I owe you one. We all do.

Don't mention the crapometer as a ploy to lure her back! That'll just send her away screaming!

Miss Snark, thanks very much for all the hard work. If you ever want to temporarily un-retire for a brief update, we'll understand.

This time "yemizu" is my word verification.

Picking up on what Bran Fan said, you've contributed a substantial vocabulary to the industry (dear dog, clue gun, and so on) that will live indefinitely. Years from now, for example, some brand new agent who never heard of you will make a reference to Rabbitania, and some of us old timers will know from whence it came.

Damn, I'm gonna miss you.

Well just fabulous. I actually stop being online so much to ohhh, I don't know - WRITE - and I finally pop through my fave sites to see you're LEAVING? That simply blows goat ass.

There has to be a compromise somewhere. Post only once a week or every two weeks. The information gleened here simply is not found anywhere else. Promise. It's beyond cruel to remove yourself from our greedy little claws. We can offer up human sacrifices. Would that help? Here - I'll start with my husband, k? Case in point:

Me: Holy crap, Miss Snark's retiring.

Him: Who?!

Yup, he needs to die. And then the I'm-so-bloody-exhausted-from-blogging-and-answering-nimrods-online-who-can't-read-archives-to-get-the-damn-answer gods will rain down blissful peace on you again. Such a simple solution. I knew we'd think up one if we worked hard enough.

In all honesty, I can't fathom the work you must put into this blog on a regular basis, and I know the Crapometers are beyond exhausting, with so little reward for you while an invaluable asset to us. There comes a time when we must prioritize, and it seems you're doing that now. I hope you reconsider, of course, or at least find a happy medium where we can still interact with you, but if you truly are gone, please know you've touched more lives than you'll ever know, and aspired writers to reach for heights we never knew existed.

You are loved and cherished and your wisdom will remain with us always.

~Brenda

:(

A tribute to Miss Snark.
On Orion's blog.

Will miss you dearly, even my cats Sigh, Thai & Arabella are going to miss you! Ha! :-)~

Never lose that spit-fire, snark-a-dasical spirit!

You created a phenomenally helpful, creative and inspirational community from scratch.

You maintained your professionalism to the highest degree.

And you bowed out to thunderous applause instead of burning out.

I can only imagine how steller it must be to be one of your clients!

I'm hopeing fervently that a sequel will come out in a year or two. =)

P.S. my word verification is "ohjann". Only three letters off from my feelings. <3

To Killer Yapp, Grandma Snark and Miss Snark her self... You will be sadly missed, however sometimes you need to do stuff for yourself and this clearly is one of them times.


First off all thank you for taking the effort to clarify exactly why you are quiting the blog, and your reasons make perfect sence. There is only so many ways you can make the same point. Plus Blogging and dealing with emails is also very time consuming and so I at least partually understand why you would not want to deal with that anymore.

Best wishes in future projects, I wish you a lifetime of success. It is clear from the comments a lot of people owe their success so far at least partually from the blog and I hope that the same success comes your way.

Again thank you for taking the time to offer help and advice, a much needed hit from the clue gun and recomendations for reading.

You are , as us Brits say, A legend, and now I know the blog is staying up I will still be sending people over here.

Hasta Luego! Its been much fun!

A tribute to Miss Snark on Anti-Wife's blog too!

I heart Miss Snark and Killer Yapp!

I'm only doing this because Pat shamed me into it.

Enjoy your retirement Miss Snark. God speed. So long and thanks for all the fish.

Kim

You've linked to some great blogs in the past, and done a lot for all of us (me, especially, as I'm one of the lucky many who you Crapometered). I can honestly say that I will miss your blog.
There is not a writer's group meeting (MSVWA, we're not fancy or anything, being Alaskan and what not, but we are) that I attend where you are not mentioned. Even if you retire, I imagine that will stay true. "What Would Snark Do" has become a second motto for many of us (after Magic, Mystery, and Mafia, our genres, of course), and a valuable phrase to young writers everywhere.
I don't know where I'm going to find my news for the writing world without you. Not the general information, but the important bits (like Librarians on Parade and a reference to NaNoWriMo). I don't know that any blogger in all the world has your tone, your penchant for focusing on things that matter, and things that genuinely make an impact on the lives of your readers.
Once I get past denial, and get done roasting this squirrel, I'm going to miss you.

Miss Snark,
You have been a shining light in this writer's journey for publication. You will be sorely missed. Following your post, I have been lucky to get a fabulous agent, and have just put my other un-agented writing friends onto your Snarkiness. They will all be crushed. Best of luck and THANK-YOU.

Miss Snark,

Before you leave for good can you do a post on Simon and Schuster's new contract terms? I'd love to hear your take on this. I'm so sad that you're leaving. You rock. Goodbye.

Goodnight, Miss Snarkabash, wherever you are.

Dear Miss Snark
I'm so sorry that you have chosen George Clooney over us. When you divorce him will you come back to us? My day in sunny Sydney is not as bright with your leaving.
Carla

OMG, I just got back from a writer's retreat in the mountains with no Internet access, to find this!

Miss S, I will miss you. And your little dog, too.

Thank you for all your amazing advice. I wish you all the best in your retirement from the blogosphere.

Thank you, Miss Snark, for all your advice. You deserve an award for decreasing the amount of nit-wittery in the world.

Godspeed, Miss Snark.

You are one hell of a writer yourself.

Thanks for everything.

Thank you, Miss Snark. I'll always remember and be grateful for the support you gave us over at Absolute Write during it's difficult times last spring.

Thanks for everything you've done! I will miss my daily visit...and the snark too.


"agtrudb" --what I said when I found Miss Snark was retiring this blog

Thanks Miss Snark. For bothering with such a nifty website. I have found it to be very useful already. I shall be bookmarking it right away.

One last comment while I still can. I loved going to my telephone and figuring out that number. What am I going to do without you? This reminds me (and dates me) of when Mary Hartman went off the air. The reruns (archives) just won't be the same. And nothing has felt so sad. I invented my blog name just for you when you did a French post a long, long time ago. I signed it Le Rayon Vert then, and I've been using The Green Ray ever since. You've been an inspiration and a total joy.

Vous me manquez beaucoup!

Le Rayon Vert

I bet Miss Snark is snuggled all up in her snuggy blankie with Georgey spooning her, whispering sweet nothings, and this might quite possibly be the best night's sleep she'll ever have, not thinking about the time and dedication and wit it took to run such a fabulous blog for two years.

Oh wait! Clooney's in bed with her?!?!

There will BE NO SLEEPING!

All the best, and I hate to see you go. I keep coming back for an encore.

Thanks. It's been a joy.
Bye

I hope yours is a Beverly Sills farewell. ;)

Oh No!I only just found your frightening and witty pages last week and now you are vanishing away. I do hope this is a joke or a test run to check how much we all love you.

Wow!!! I just caught up with my blog reading and am still in shock at seeing KY giving us the sign off.

I know that all good things must come to an end, but (*wail*) this seems so soon!!

Let me throw in my very sincere thank you. I've learned so much from reading your blog--little tidbits that will only serve me especially well in the future. Thanks for all the advice and all the snarky chuckles along the way.

Kimberly Clark is actually a pretty good company to buy stock in.

Good luck, girl!

Damn and blast it - you were such a help. Maybe if you keep your stuff here for a while you still will be.

Thanks ever so much for helping.

:-(

I've been with you, mostly lurking, from early days. You'll be missed. Your karma is all sparkly now from all the good you've done.

(My word verification is pmfqfof, which is pretty close to the sound I made when I read this news.)

Miss Snark,

Please don't go.

I just got back to LA from a week in NY - upstate along the Hudson, in absolute peace & quiet.

I am devastated to learn that you will be retiring from the blog - please reconsider. A post now and then as a surprise would be so welcomed.

Your fan,
Kate

My name is Anne, and I'm a snarkoholic.

Snarkoholism has cost me countless hours in front of my computer screen. It is an addiction.

I will always be a snarkoholic, but I will strive to replace my dependency on snark with more time spent writing well. Then I will query widely.

Thanks, Miss Snark.

Oh heck. I turn my back for a couple months and come back to find this. Miss Snark, I discovered you in early 2006, just around the time I signed with a great agent. Thanks to you I knew all the right questions to ask, and how to avoid looking like a nitwit. I can't begin to list the things I've learned here, or the fun I've had.

Last month my agent sold my first book to a great NY publisher. Among the people I have to thank for helping me along the way, you rank right up there. How can I express my gratitude?

Thank you. Blessings in all you do.

CR, who posted anonymously for over a year.

Okay...

I'm sad, but excited for you. It must have been one of those tough/easy decisions. I sincerely hope you have a great time with all that free time you now have (Agents have free time?) to burn through slushpiles and use those clueguns on live targets. I envy yur clients and friends the extra YOU they will now get.

I really have to thank you. I am as yet unpublished (and will probably remain so for a while yet) but I went through a recent crapometer and you were the first person with no personal connection to ever suggest the stuff I wrote did not suck like a black-hole made of a million vacuum-cleaners. And you had no reason to do that. Sincere, genuine, deep and other heartfelt-synonyms of gratitude, Miss S. Thank you.

Dear Ms Snark, KY and Snarklings...

'Tis I, Frankenfoot. Thank you for your wonderful advice and help in the great footgear debate. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, but I went back into the blankety blankety hospital when I got back. Apparently I did too much during those two weeks.

Ms. Snark, your wit and wisdom will be sorely missed. Please drop by every now and again and say hello. I've noticed tribute-ish comments to you in other blogs 'round these parts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and if I ever do get a book contract out of any of these literary albatrosses I'm lugging about, I will remember you on the acknowledgements.

Love from from Frankenfoot and Crash the Kitten, with ear scritches to KY!

And stop crying, you're waterin' the gin!

It's all Brady Westwater's fault, isn't it?

I second the motion that instead of answering nitwittery that you write a once-a-month column on books or bad query letters. Pretty please? After all, the snark in you needs an outlet. Anonymity gives you a cloak to say what you think. Won't you just explode if you can't, yanno, let it out once in a while?

Please don't go. But if you do, you still get an ack in my book. You didn't like my synopsis or hook... and that just made me work harder to make them irresistible to whatever agent I land.

Thank you for the snarkasm, the witticisms and the-- dare I say it?-- love that you have shared with us.

XOXOXOX 4ever to you and KY.

So long Snark. Whoever you are. Take care. What a service! What a woman! What a snark! I gotta go...don't speak...

Your Snarkiness is abdicating?

Thank you so much for everything you've done for us over the past two years - sadly I only found you a year ago, but what a year it's been!

I'll miss you so much! But enormous thanks for giving so much time to the clueless, stopping our nitwittery, making us laugh and giving us a huge amount of joy along the way. You're much loved.

But now you can have a life again, so that's great - in fact I can't imagine how you've managed to do anything but blog over the past two years! Enjoy it, be happy. I hope someone one day does as much for you as you've done for all of us.

One extremely grateful (and bereft) snarkling.

never in a million
you made me write haiku
so dark now the day

Boo-hoo. Boo, hoo.....

I barely knew ye and now I say fare thee well.......

Many Blessings, Miss Snark!!!!

I hear through the Desperate Author Grapevine that this is true. At least you know how to go out in style...though we expected nothing less.

Long live Killer Yapp!
Long live Miss Snark!

Deb Kinnard, a.k.a. T2

Good-bye, Miss Snark. You were a class act.

If you don't recall... that was my 'evil' twin who got vatted - and even he got out. So I am still alive and still shit kicking and if you don't believe me - check out who's running Fashion Week in LA....

http://www.downtownnews.com/articles/2007/03/05/news/news05.txt

or www.lacowboy.blogspot.com

haha! hilarious.

Dear Miss Snark,

Beware the gateway puzzles. In no time at all, you'll be agonizing over kakuro too. I have already lost my husband to both. He's been replaced with a puzzle solving machine.

Love,
A Longtime Lurker

Don't worry, Snarky. I have it on good authority that your visitor was George Carlin, NOT George Clooney!

You can't expect a poodle to know the difference.

This is KY not just some run of the mill pound hound. He can identify George Clooney at 50 paces, blindfolded (with Burberry plaid tie of course) AND chase off any paparrazi without mussing his coiffure.

I find it hard to believe that Clarence "Killer" Yapp would use the word "guest".

Alas, I suffer from the same affliction and so feel your pain. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step.

Ah sudoku... you should try nonograms next *heh heh heh*

It's gratifying to know agents can waste time as well as writers.

Just read about this: http://secondlife.com/. Might be the ultimate timewaster. Sure beats crosswords. I'm stayin' away.

It's crossword puzzles for me--sudoku scares me. I'm afraid I'd never get anything done!

By the way, you can catch George Clooney right here in Greenville South Carolina! He's filming Leatherheads with Renee Zellweger. He's been making the papers every day, taking time out to pose with fans. What a sweetheart!

Come on down! The weather's gorgeous!

I'm arranging an intervention. It's disguised as a gin pail.

My name is Bonnie and I'm a sudoku addict. After completing the thirteen-step program, here's how I'm handling my addiction. I say to myself, "Self, if you write one tiny scene, you can do a sudoku." And there's always my sponsor to fall back on if she's not at a kakuroics-anonymous meeting.

Killer Cheri!
I understand your frustration at being ignored by your Mistress, but please don't say that you have fallen so low as to seek out a Pomeranian! You know how they like to gossip. If I could just get MY Mistress to fly me to NY, I'm sure I could show you a MUCH better time!
Maggie Bichon
(verification word: foxvaj, how I feel after seeing the professional groomer!)

Would this be a good time to pitch my new book; How to beat your Sudoku addiction without resorting to Seppuku? ;)

George has a few bits on the HBO HD Boffo special Wednesday at 12:30PM

And let's not forget...Babble!

http://www.playbabble.com/

Competitive online multi-player 5x5 Boggle, with interactive chat, available live 24-7.

Dear God. I lost months in that hellhole...I still have flashbacks that send me screaming to the online dictionary in a cold sweat...

*sniff*

I am crying for you.

Oh, to lose George to a cursed game of sudoku!

*hands over a bright, shiny, new pail-o-gin to her Snarkiness.*

I hope Killer Yap understands by now his grievous error in not raising much more of a ruckus to get your attention! For petesake!

Or even sudoku.

My wife is our household addict. Still, better than drugs or alcohol ;-)

While you're otherwise ocupado, KY can amuse himself with this.

Omigosh! You, too? I spent half of yesterday at

http://www.sudoku-puzzles.net/play.html

and it was the first site I brought up this morning (Sorry, Miss Snark ... it was Sudoku, then Evil Editor, then you).

Thanks (I think) to writtenwyrdd for cluing me in to the site. Let me know when the first Sudoku Anonymous group forms. Can't be long now...

I agree. I started by playing on the London Times online. They provide a puzzle a day--or you can go back and play the previous puzzles in the archive. Here's the link to the Times: http://timesonline.co.uk/tol/news

Then I purchased Sudoku Quest for my laptop. Now I play at least three games a day.

My favorite part is that you can select the level of difficulty depending on how much time you have to play. If I've only got ten minutes, I select "easy." If I'm stuck on a manuscript, I'll choose the "difficult" level just so that I can switch gears completely for a while.

It's addictive

Amen to that. My cessation of hostilities with Sudoko coincided with the final impetus to finish my first novel. Go figure

Just say no, Miss Snark.

You never have to be without your SUDOKU fix: Electronic Sudoku and Rubik's Sudoku Travel Game and Fridgeplay Magnetic Sudoku.

Thank you all for the warning. As a crossword addict, I was thinking of giving it a try. But it sounds like one substance is enough.

Everyone knows the best way to get over an addiction is to supplement with a different addiction. Just say yes to:

The most irresistible game since Tetris.

And if I see another Sudoku book at the BEA this year, I'll puke my guts out even though I'm hoplelessly addicted.

Me too!!!
ARGGHHH!
I will say it was one of the tools my friend was given for physical therapy after her brain injury.
It is great for re-igniting that creative spark but does suck the time like nothing else...oh except for blogging. NOTHING sucks your time like blogging.

I bought a Nintendo DS (my first video game system EVER) because it has both Sudoku AND Tetris, and can go with me to places even a laptop can't.

(That, and I have faith that eventually Nintendo will realize how obvious it is that they should have come out with a simple program to let you use the thing as a personal organizer from the very beginning. Once they finally do release a program for that, I am totally calling it a tax writeoff).

You mean...people like to do puzzles with numbers? But that's [gasp]....MATH!!!!

Makes my brain hurt just thinking about it.

Signed,

Safe from Sudoku

My favorite are the Dora the Explorer Sudoko books - are there really 3 year olds out there playing sudoko?

The worst part is that you really feel that you're developing some sort of your brain while completing a puzzle, making you some kind of supergenius . . . then you realize everyone else is playing it too, and still no one can merge on the interstate. Alas for the brain-development theory.

I have considered Sudoku Divorce....My husband, no matter what kind of nighty, no matter what kind of drink, no matter what kind of words I use, if he is in the middle of the puzzle it is always the same..."Just one minute...." So sudoku my a__....And I am not all that ugly, not that bad in bed or have a problem helping him get his groove on.... Sudoku is the devil

When you get bored with losing the Five Star puzzles, whatever you do, do not let yourself get sucked into computer Mah Jongh. It's just as bad for instilling neglect for one's dogs and/or children.

My wife stopped reading my manuscripts because of her heinous occupation with Sudoku! :)

WELL ITS A LONG WAY , TO THE TOP , IF YOU WANNA ROCK AND ROLLLL!!!

as ACDC says...

i wonder , miss snark, is that true about writing too ??

E.

I've been hooked for almost two years now... but I don't have a problem. Really. I don't. I can quit whenever I want. Honest. I can... Agh!!!

Sudoku is merely practice for balancing checkbooks.

And I think I have my Google account working now. If only they hadn't lost my blogs, not that it really matters. Those were a time sink anyway.

Sudoku, strong and dangerous stuff. I too have had my time. I think that I'm over it, but then I find myself somewhere with a newspaper and then I turn to the inside back page, and then...and then...I just can't talk about it any more...I'm sorry...

My kid started doing Sudoku. He was prepping for the LSAT's. He was totally taken by them.

Turned me on to Sudoku. Can't stop.

Try here for a great set of Sudoku puzzles updated weekly.

Half my family does the ones on that page. The logical side of my brain wonders why they don't divide the work - do a different one each and exchange the answers. However, that site GIVES the answers so it makes even less sense.

This might prove to be a bit of a distracting website...

http://www.websudoku.com/

I've managed to avoid playing online and electronically, but I can't resist doing the puzzles in the morning commuter rags. Helps kill the time on the train.

I was hooked on sudoku (OK, I still play, but not as much); now I have a new addiction, www.thesentencegame.com .

In fact, I just blogged about it. While sudoku made me feel like I was getting smarter, the sentence game makes me feel more creative (and that's a great excuse for a writer to waste time!).

Pah, sudoku is for losers. "Killer sudoku" is where it's at!

I'm with Beth. I mean, stuff with numbers? For fun?

(shudders)

Haven't fallen into the trap yet, and from what I'm reading, will avoid at all costs. I have little enough time for writing and four legged children as is! (Although on weekends I occasionally fall prey to network Spades.....)

Beth and Swordswinger: Sudoku has nothing to do with math. If you don't like numbers, replace them with the letters A-I. The letters will work as well as the numbers do.

It's a logic puzzle, not a math puzzle.

verif: mnutdrxe (nuts need drs??)

It's a logic puzzle, not a math puzzle.

Even worse.