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Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: Miss Snark sets her hair on fire, Most Recent at Top [Help]
Results 1 - 5 of 5
1. Stop, drop, (sc)roll


Dear Miss Snark,

Since I read your advice not to mix genres in query letters I've been planning to market my novel as a mystery. The problem is that although I throw out some hints early on, the 'mystery' itself doesn't emerge till page 100 or so. I've also tried to make the book stylistically interesting. Is 'literary mystery' a viable genre option, or should I just leave well enough alone?


Nothing makes me want to set my hair on fire faster than hearing "I've tried to make the book stylistically interesting". You tell me that in a query letter, I'm reaching for the lighter fluid.

And when you say the "mystery" doesn't emerge till page 100, that's akin to saying the "the plot doesn't start till page 100".

And avoid the use of the word "literary" with "mystery". Tell me where it goes in the bookstore. That's all.

I'm gonna suggest you scan down the previous posts till you come to the one that has a bunch of crit groups and the Crapometer Annex listed in the comment column. The post title is "Miss Snark is Clueless" I think.

I have a feeling you need some readers to look at this before you send it off to hot-headed Miss Snark or her colleagues.

0 Comments on Stop, drop, (sc)roll as of 1/1/1900
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2. Holy Burning Bakery, Batgirl!

Miss Snark is glad to see that others too like to light their hair on fire.

0 Comments on Holy Burning Bakery, Batgirl! as of 1/1/1900
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3. Takes a lickin' and keeps on bitchin'

The topic that will not die

3 Comments on Takes a lickin' and keeps on bitchin', last added: 5/5/2007
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4. The venerable Bede? no, that's Miss Bent to you, bucko

Miss. Snark,

I recently submitted an email query to Jenny Bent and she replied in less than 24 hours asking me to send her a partial (50 pages) via email. It has been two weeks since I sent it and I got no confirmation that she got it but I am pretty sure she did. Is two weeks a bad indication that it has been rejected after such a quick response to my query? How long should I wait until I inquire if at all?

I am a first time author so I am not sure how long these things take.


First clue: there are 4000 posts on this blog. At least ten percent of them deal with timing. My guess is you've read none of them. Before you ask basic questions, at least make a stab at finding the answer. There are two direct benefits: you'll find out faster AND you won't look like a nitwit.


Second clue: Here's what Miss Bent's daily schedule is

9am arrive at office via sedan chair

9:05am receive editors lined up begging to buy projects

12:02pm first lunch with Michiko

12:42pm second lunch with Oprah

1:30pm return to office to sort through offers from morning's editor line up

1:45pm return phone calls from worthy editors

3:10pm afternoon tea with Mick Jagger who is seeking advice on a ghost writer for his long overdue bio

3:45 pm read emails in slush pile

3:46pm sort through invitations from beseeching prize committees such as Nobel and Pulitzer

3:47pm conduct six auctions simultaneously with color coded ink pens and briskly efficient team of assistants

3:52pm make five editors weep in frustration as the Next Big Book goes elsewhere

4:15pm telephone calls with clients who offer up a litany of thanks, chocccies, loinfruit (first born of course) and really good scotch

5:00pm sedan chair for trip home

7:15pm dinner with Pope who is overheard whispering ruefully "oh such sweet temptation"

9:15pm returns home to peruse manuscripts

10:00pm fall asleep in bower of rose petals


As you can see Miss Bent is extremely busy doing what they pay her for down there: selling books. And partials get 30 days even if she isn't.

7 Comments on The venerable Bede? no, that's Miss Bent to you, bucko, last added: 5/6/2007
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5. Nitwit beyond even the last one

Hello,
This morning I submitted a query to an agent I'd researched, and promptly received a reply from another agent at the house who had been forwarded my query from the original agent I queried. This agent asked for my full electronically, and I gladly sent it right away, settling in for the long wait. Not more than 3 hours later, I received a "Thank you for letting me read your manuscript. Unfortunately I cannot offer you representation at this time." Is this standard procedure in any way? Do I have grounds to be frustrated for the false hope, and that there was no feedback given?


no
no
no

I think taking the blame for giving writers "false hope" by asking to see their manuscripts may qualify as the nitwittiest thing I've heard all day. And as you can see from today's posts, you had SERIOUS competition.

I need a gin IV drip after this one.

17 Comments on Nitwit beyond even the last one, last added: 4/27/2007
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