Do you remember your first childhood crush? Mine was on a boy named Dexter, in my third grade class.
I don't remember much about him, or what he looked like, except that he loved to draw, and drew a perfect Charlie Brown. Dexter sat across from me in class, so I watched him draw everyday, while I thought about other things instead of listening to our teacher. When our third grade teacher lectured, all I heard was a voice reminiscent of the adult voices in the Charlie Brown television specials. In other words, I heard, bloc, bloc, bloc, roll off her tongue most of the day. To me, she just rambled a bunch of jumbled grown-up words, that we "bright-eyed and bushy tailed" third graders, hadn't the slightest interest in. Her name was Mrs. Keysler, and she wore those cat-eyed sixties glasses with a chain that jangled when she walked, so we could here her coming at recess. Anyhow, one day while Dexter was drawing, and I was staring at him, my heart thumping around in my chest, I noticed a new shiny whistle on the top of his desk, and when I asked him if I could look at, he put it in my hand. Our teacher continued speaking in the background, bloc, bloc, bloc, bah, bloc… as I turned the whistle over and over in my hand. Then I took the whistle, put it up to my mouth, and blew it as hard as I could! The room fell silent.
After which, I heard the hushed sound of children’s voices fill the empty silence, followed by that snickering sound children make before they start pointing fingers! It's such an annoying tactic among tattlers, whose goal at this time in their life, is to retire as the teachers pet! I could feel the stares, and of course, see their self-serving tattler fingers rise to the occasion, and point in my direction! I heard one little girl cry, “She is sooo dumb!” I just sat there, horrified, as my face grew hot and flushed with humiliation. I thought of this story when thinking of what to write as part of an “about me” profile for a writer’s social community. I was thinking of why I became a writer…, which is another post, that lends a reference to how important a role I think teachers play, in helping us shape our self image; so I guess I was thinking of my teachers, and for some reason Dexter popped into my head!
Anyway, that's what I remember about my first crush; one of those funny to me now, not so funny then, experiences, especially since my teacher made me stand in the back of the classroom the rest of the day!
After that, Dexter (who may have turned out to be an illustrator) looked at me with a cautious look on his face, for what seemed like the rest of my life, and the girl who called me “soooo dumb”, turned out to be one of my closest friends! We never know what our children are going through in a day, or experiencing with their first crush, do we?
I’ll have to ask my son about his experience with his first crush. Do you remember yours?
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A Nice Place In The Sun
Children lie for different reasons, so it's important for parents to understand the difference between a lie and an exaggeration. Children pretend lie, exaggerate, or lie to keep from getting in trouble. Therefore, it’s helps if parents understand the intention behind, or the reason their child is lying, and get professional advice on the best course of action to take. This article is simply the opinion of another parent and a children’s book writer meant to inspire and entertain parents in the area of rearing children. However, my own childhood experiences coupled with a love for children inspired me to write about the issue of self-esteem in early childhood...
For me the first grade was a courageous attempt to conceal my inability to jump rope from the girls in my class. The youngest and only girl in my family, I learned to play games like Batman and Robin instead of learning to jump rope or master the hoola hoop. Before the first grade, I never laid eyes on a jump rope before, and now I had to learn to jump one!
I needed help, and I thought help arrived in the form of Holly White, a popular little girl in my first grade classroom. Everyone loved Holly, and everything Holly did met with instant approval.
All of the little girls in my first grade class wanted to be friends with Holly, so every Friday she would interview each of her admirers, and decide which one would have the pleasure of her company. I thought I had a real shot, however my hopes were about to disintegrate.
My parents had a boarding stable, and most children were impressed with that fact, however Holly White did not turn out to be one of those children. Holly loved pigs, not horse’s, pigs, or at least that‘s what she said. Therefore, when she was deciding which groupies house to attend, she asked each of us what was so great about our house. I told her during my interview that my house was great because we had pigs. The lie came out of my mouth before I knew it, and it was too late after it did, since Holly was delighted at the prospect of meeting the sloppy livestock, and told everyone about our plans for that week-end.
We had about fifty acres of property that we used for a pasture, so I assumed the pasture would be a good place to keep a pig farm. I conspired to walk Holly out in the pasture, and when we couldn’t find any pigs (since there weren’t any) I would say the pigs must have wandered off somewhere when we there. So you see it was not only a lie it was a premeditated lie!
When we arrived at the barn, Holly and I went out to the pasture to look for the pig farm. I thought I was on top of the world, I was not only friends with a celebrity, I had impressed her with my engaging resources. We were halfway through the pasture when we heard, “Ann! What are you doing?” echo from a distance.
Before I could return a lie for my answer Holly hollered back, “We’re going to see the pigs!”
I wanted to disappear, and then I heard my Mother answer, “Ann We don’t have any pigs! Come back from the pasture this instant!” consequently, this is where my popularity at school came to a screeching halt, and I went back to being plain old Ann, except that I added liar to my name. The fact that I felt the weight of humiliation the rest of the year was a blessing, however, I was too young to realize it at the time.
I think one of the main reasons children lie is for the same reason I did, they wish to be accepted by their peers. Especially today, with so many different forms of entertainment, and the bombardment of ads suggesting that only certain styles of clothing and physical characteristics are acceptable in society today. All of these elements have the propensity to damage young children's self -esteem. And a poor self -esteem not only robs children of an opportunity for a bright future, it is at fault for many of society’s social problems today; drug abuse, crime, domestic abuse and eating disorders all derive from a lack of, or poor self -esteem.
I think parents should provide ways of helping their kids improve their self-esteem, through positive reinforcement, positive role modeling, and communication. One of the best gifts you can give your child is to provide them with ways they can improve their self worth. If they believe in themselves they will not expect the world to provide them with happiness, rather they will expect themselves to provide happiness to the world. So nurture their self-esteem it will most certainly pay off in the future.
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Author: Ferida Wolff and Harriet May Savitz
First crush.. as i remember my first crush is when i was 8years old she name is azimah.. she same class with me.. and i never hide that i liked her.. but yet no respond..haha.. and then this part what i like.. one day when my mathematics period i do speak with my friend even have been warning by my teacher i keep talking because that class so boring.. then my teacher really angry he ask me to stand up and change place with girl.. and guess what..i have to change with azimah's friend who sited next to her.. so whole mathematics period i become statue not speak and even not look at anywhere i just look at the blackboard..uhh after class all people laughing include her..gosh!! (^.^)
Oh, you poor thing! That's why I wanted to write this post! It seems like everyone's first crush has at least one moment of embarrassment attached to it!
Thank you for your visit and comment! I need to stop by your site!
Ann
I don't remember a whole lot about my first crush other than that it was on a boy named Crayol (what the hell kind of name is that?) and that he had really large front teeth. Clearly ours was a love for the ages.
It's like you block it out or something, isn't it? Thanks for the hilarious comment!
Ann
I feel left out.
Cannot remember.
High School i can remember a bit, but that was a one sided affair..
High school counts! :) Really, we are just babies then too-
Thanks for stopping by, I love your comments! I need to pay you a visit!
Ann
I don't remember a childhood crush but I remember a high school crush!! 13 years later I still wonder what could have been!
I know, wouldn't it be something if Dexter were working in the children's book market?
I couldn't write about my high school crush, since I married and divorced him! (I would, except we share a child)
Thanks for leaving a comment, and stopping by- I need to stop by your blog as well! All of my blog friends are commenting! :) I'm having a great morning!
I love this post!! Oh first crushes, how can any of us forget them?
My first crush was in grade six, that's when I first started looking at boys a little bit differently, lol. His name was Kyle Stanish (I hope he never finds this post, lol) We were both geeks and we sat beside each other...thankfully nothing embarrassing came out of that experience!!
Kyle Stanish. We never forget their names either! I can't remember what Dexter looks like, but I remember his name! Isn't that funny? Thanks Christy for stopping by. I'm glad you read it!
Ann
Since I'm just a teenager I actually do remember my first crush very vividly.
It was in 4th grade with a girl named Stephanie. She would always follow me at recess, and then one day she confronted me and was like do you want to be my boyfriend. It was the "craze" at the time and I wanted in, so I said yes.
It ended very soon because I wanted to play football with the boys while she wanted me to hang around with here all recess. When we broke up there was like 5 girls that went up to me trying to convince to go back out with her.
Very interesting. She's actually still in my grade, and I believe she likes me. Who knows...
That is very interesting! I bet she does! It sounds like she was sorry for being bossy. Girls take notice of the boys who will not be told what to do. They try to tell you what to do, but they really don't like it when you listen. It's confusing huh? Us girls/women are really a pain in the you know what! I don't know why you guys put up with us! :)
Maybe, you ought to consider giving her another chance? That is if you are still interested.
Thanks for your comment-
Ann
I remember my first crush. He was called Brendon and he had a mass of curly chestnut coloured hair. We were both 10. I adored him. I used to give him sweets in the hope that he might reciprocate, but he just took the sweets and I never made any progress. Awww! I still get that nagging hurt when I think about it now...45 years later!
It sounds like Brendon had beautiful hair~ I know what you mean about never forgetting them, this post was originally about teachers, but I got sidetracked with the thought of Dexter, and I don't even remember what he looks like! It's weird how the mind works when it comes to love! Thanks for the comment, and for stopping by~
Ann
I don't really remember much about my first crush...from when I first knew him. It was really early. Then I moved away and when my family moved back to the place we lived in the first place and started going back to the church we went to in the beginning, he was there. For a long time, he didn't realize who I was. When he remembered who I was, he asked if I remembered going to school with him and I grinned (I guess stupidly), and he figured I didn't. After having observed him for a while, I didn't really want to re-start a friendship (we'd hung out a lot before, I think). Anyway, that's that.
Not only that, but your enemy turning into a good friend story is also something I can associate with. My best friend in middle school was a girl who got mad at me for hanging out with one boy at recess all the time because I "stole him" from her. She doesn't even remember, which I think is really amusing.
Sorry I'm long-winded. :[
Yeah, when you think about it people can have short memories. It goes to show, that we make to big of a deal out of most things. My grandfather used to say that, "most of the things we worry about never happen, and the stuff that does, won't matter in a hundred years!" :)
Thanks for stopping by, Tracy, and for the comment!
Ann
good old days... yap, I do remember my first child crush and destiny have it.. years later i met her only to notice she is happily married..
Well, you never know, someone may have saved you a whole lot of trouble! I think that's how you have to think about some things, huh?
Thanks for the comment, and for reading the post!
Ann
Ah...I remember Forrest. Blue eyes and black hair. 4th grade...surely it was true love!
Thanks for reminder to remember!
Isn't it fun! I've had more positive responses to this post! Thanks for the comment, and for stopping by. I need to pay your site a visit! :)
Ann
Since my sexual orientation was different even back in earliest childhood, I am not real sure (not then being able to translate the emotion into crush). But, as I have revealed to a roar of guffaws, I had an intense tweenie crush on Kelly Ripa when she was starting out on this low budget dance show on the USA Network called Dance Party USA.
But, I think I would have been pretty crazy on any kid who could draw a perfect Charlie Brown:)
~Becky
Wow! You write the best phrases! "tweenie crush" "to a roar of guffaws" I don't remember Kelly Ripa on Dance Party USA, but of course I can remember how I felt about Dexter! Its funny since I couldn't tell you what he looked like today. If he stood before me I wouldn't know who he was, but I remember the feeling as if it were yesterday.
It must have been confusing for you growing up. My oldest brother is gay, and he had a tough time. Maybe it's harder for boys? I worry about gay children. Especially since kids refer to everything and everyone they don't like as "gay" these days. For example, (as if you need one) I heard these little children in the grocery store the other day refer to a car in a magazine as gay! How can a car be gay?
Yes, you would have liked Dexter, since he was the greatest! My heart still races when I think of him. Isn't that pitiful? I think I still have a crush on him! I wonder where he is?
Do you see what I mean about the tattlers? Of course your post sounded more like a grown-up!
Thank you Becky for all your support and for reading my posts!
I'm glad you're my friend!
Ann