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When we think about well-being among older adults, how often do we think about their oral health as being an important component? In reviews of risk factors for low well-being among older adults, oral health is never explicitly mentioned, although other health conditions and disease states are often discussed.
A growing body of scientific support for the notion that an individual’s attitudes toward aging and personal appearance could have profound effects upon physical and mental well-being. As a result, I began to wonder whether it’s possible that such attitudes may, in measurable ways, impact the development of specific diseases.
My late husband Gene Cohen is known as one of the founders of both geriatric psychiatry and the creative aging movement. He was always talking, writing, and educating about brain plasticity and the changes that took place as we age into our wisdom and creative potential.
The very look and feel of families today is undergoing profound changes. Are public policies keeping up with the shifting definitions of “family”? Moreover, as the population ages within these new family dynamics, how will families give or receive elder care? Below, we highlight just a few social changes that are affecting the experiences of aging families.
As a resident of Los Angeles, one of the most polluted cities in the United States, I think a lot about the air we breathe. It’s well established that outdoor air pollution is a health threat -- exposure to high pollution concentrations has been linked to increased risk of respiratory and cardiovascular damage, emergency room visits and hospitalization, and premature mortality.
Leonard Cohen’s decision to take up cigarettes again at 80 reveals a well kept secret about older age: you can finally live it up and stop worrying about the consequences shortening your life by much. Risk taking is not such a risk anymore, given the odds. Of course some take that more literally than others. I don’t plan to do a parachute jump when I turn 90, as President Bush #1 did. However, a new breath of freedom (and less worry) is an unexpected and pleasant benefit of older age that isn’t well known.
Research findings confirm this is true. In recent studies of many adults from many countries, people were asked to rate their level of well being on a scale of 1-10. Researchers found a fascinating relationship between age and well-being. 20 year olds start out pretty high, after which well-being consistently goes down with age, bottoming out around the early 50’s. What happens next came as a surprise to many: after this trough, well-being actually goes up with age, with 85-year-olds reporting slightly higher well-being than the 20-year-olds. These are known as the U-bend studies, because well-being through adult life takes the shape of a “U.”
One question we can ask is: how can elders feel better when they are much closer to death than younger people? My personal and clinical experiences suggest that we accept the reality of death, which helps us enjoy each day and its positives more, because we appreciate their preciousness. Pleasure in listening to music, seeing a beautiful sunrise or hearing early morning bird calls elicits more enjoyment than when we were younger.
We live in the “now”. One woman expressed it well in our support group for aging and illness: “My papers are in order, my will and all that. Only, I just got four chairs recovered in my apartment. I want to stick around at least to see how they look with the new covers.” Concerns about career are gone; elderly parents are gone and adult children are on their own (hopefully). Elders begin to see life from a broader perspective than their own personal being—we are concerned about the future of the planet and the fate of our children’s children’s children whom we may never see.
At 86, I heartily endorse Cohen’s decision to forego all the illness prevention and screening that made sense in his 50s but not in his 80s when it is not likely to prolong life. For me, that means enjoying the pleasures of food and drink as I choose. My modern vegetarian-ish children chide me for the red meat on the table and insist I should be serving kale smoothies and brown rice for dinner and drinking bottled water with lemon instead of alcohol. My husband of 89 and I enjoy beef and wine for dinner, and we have no plans to change that. As to more wholesome drinks, as a Texan, I have drunk Dr. Peppers since the age of 10. I could easily be a poster girl for its benefits, but I am warned about the dangers I run every day of their poisoning my brain by the artificial “everything” in them.
As to fall prevention, which is a big concern of our children, I understand their wishes to prevent a broken hip, but I love most of my rugs and they are part of the pleasure in my home. I will compromise just so far in taking them up. I will be prudent but not coerced into a life style my children feel is more appropriate for us. My colleague, Dr. Mindy Greenstein, is a psychologist who works with me in a geriatric research group, and with whom I compare notes on aging from our middle and old old age perspectives. I complain that my children act too “parental” at times and I remind her that at 91, if her father eats another latke beyond what his wife deems appropriate, is that really a make or break issue in his survival? Children want to help us oldsters to outsmart the Grim Reaper, and that is very tender. But eventually he wins. So why sweat the odds? We are lucky—and happy—to be here in our upper 80s.
The bottom line is that Cohen has it right about the freedom to do things we want over 80, but wrong about paying too much attention to calculating the prevention risk ratio. The best story to put this into perspective is the old man who went to his doctor and asked. “Doc, if I give up alcohol, cigarettes and women will I live longer?” The doctor replied, “No, but it will seem longer.”
Why are people afraid to get old? Research shows that having a bad attitude toward aging at a young age is only detrimental to the young person’s health and well-being in the long-run. Contrary to common wisdom, our sense of well-being actually increases with our age–often even in the presence of illness or disability. Mindy Greenstein, PhD, and Jimmie Holland, MD, debunk the myth that growing older is something to fear in their new book Lighter as We Go: Virtues, Character Strengths, and Aging. In the following videos, Dr. Greenstein and Dr. Holland are joined by Holland’s granddaughter Madeline in a thought-provoking discussion about their different perspectives on aging in correlation to well-being.
The Relationship between Wisdom and Age
The Bridge between Older People and Younger Generations
On Fluctuations in Well-Being throughout Life
The Vintage Readers Book Club
Headline image credit: Cloud Sky over Brest. Photo by Luca Lorenzi. CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons
Here are highlights from the links that I shared on Twitter this week @JensBookPage. Topics this week include authors, book lists, the Cybils, common core, aging, ebooks, apps, growing bookworms, kidlitcon, reading, writing, play, schools, libraries, and summer reading.
Book: Three Bird Summer Author: Sara St. Antoine
Pages: 256
Age Range: 10 to 14
Three Bird Summer by Sara St. Antoine is a lovely book about the summer that a 12 year old boy spends at his grandmother's cabin on Three Bird Lake in Minnesota. It's a quiet sort of book about an introspective kid, but St. Antoine manages to touch upon the challenges families face as grandparents age, the aftermath of divorce, and the tentative first steps of boy-girl relationships. There's also a small mystery, and even a treasure map. It's a coming-of-age story, though without major drama.
In truth, the subject matter of Three Bird Summer felt a bit ... familiar, with echoes of Cynthia Lord's Half a Chance and Karen Day's A Million Miles from Boston, and even Jeanne Birdsall's The Penderwicks at Point Mouette. Summer stories all, featuring kids of a similar age range. But the sheer beauty of St. Antoine's writing, as well as her choice to feature a male protagonist, make Three Bird Summer stand out.
Adam is a fine narrator, a little geeky, a little lazy, and baffled by the behavior of girls. His initially reluctant friendship with new neighbor Alice, and the oh-so-gradual dawning of "more than friend" feelings, is utterly believable. Alice and her parents are, perhaps, a tiny bit too good to be true, but I love that she spent the previous summer at a science camp for girls, and that she chafes under the yoke of her over-protective parents. Adam's mother and grandmother are well-drawn, too, with flaws as well as surprises.
Three Bird Summer perfectly captures the feel of a rustic summer lake house. Like this:
"Mom lingered in the kitchen while I hauled my duffel through the main part of the cabin, breathing in the familiar smell of wood paneling and fireplace cinders. Everything was in its usual place." (Page 10)
and
"A cool breeze crossed the water. It felt like the great North was barreling through me with my every breath. Here's what slipped away: schedules, bus rides, the stale smell of the school cafeteria, algebraic equations, Mom and Dad's phone arguments, girl talk, and Grandma's interrogations. Here's what I got in exchange: water sloshing slowly and steadily against the dock like the heartbeat of a great whale. A pair of black-and-white loons swimming into view. Fresh air and a lake that, right then, felt like it was all mine." (Page 16)
Reading the above passage, I could practically feel the tension leaving Adam's shoulders. Three Bird Summer is filled with passages that I wanted to save, long and short. Like this:
"Mom turned around and we began paddling again, but not in a getting-there sort of way -- more like a being-there sort of way." (Page 199)
For the rest, you'll have to read the book. Three Bird Summer is a book to read on your front porch on a warm summer day (or, even better, on a dock floating in a lake in your bathing suit). It's about growing up, the ways that family relationships change, and young love. It's beautifully written, with a strong sense of place, and well-rounded characters. While Three Bird Summer is clearly a book that will appeal to adult readers, I hope that kids find it and love it, too. Despite the male protagonist, Three Bird Summer certainly has as much appeal for girls as for boys. Recommended!
Publisher: Candlewick (@Candlewick)
Publication Date: May 13, 2014
Source of Book: Review copy from the publisher
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This site is an Amazon affiliate, and purchases made through Amazon links (including linked book covers) may result in my receiving a small commission (at no additional cost to you).
As people age and the odds of getting sick and out of sorts becomes greater, it becomes increasingly important to rely on intuition salted with good common sense and a lifetime of experience to get through confusing symptoms and bad days. The odd tingling here, the unexplained headache there—not to mention feeling downright irritable or depressed—can lead one’s imagination to run wild, prompting questions like, “Is my diabetes acting up, am I having a stroke?” These events can be serious but they also might be nothing but instigators for bewildering and frightening experiences—especially if they come on a bad day when a person is lonely, or otherwise not feeling “up to it.” More questions surface, “Should I call my doctor? Can I afford another medical expense?” A whole litany of concerns pop into the mind, compounding the problem by adding to any anxiety or depression already manifesting itself.
Naturally, if a person suspects or has reason to believe a serious issue is presenting itself, a visit to the doctor would be appropriate. However, where there is reasonable doubt, a lifetime of having to solve problems requiring responses where one doesn’t have all the answers can encourage the senior to rely on intuition, common sense and previous experience. A decision to call the doctor will then be based on deep insight coming from the body itself, and can really help the doctor treat the person accordingly.
Most of us have had little motivation to develop intuition
However, most likely, we have not developed intuition for a number of reasons. For one thing, it was almost never taught in school despite the fact that most scientific advances come as a result of intuitive insight. Also, perhaps in younger days there weren’t so many “gray areas,” especially concerning health. Chances are, when we were in the full bloom of youth and health, we only dealt with issues that have ready solutions, or had a medical problem for which the doctors were able to heal or at least adequately address. The chronic conditions were a lot fewer. If we broke a leg skiing; we got a cast on our leg. If we contracted a strep throat; we were given an antibiotic to fight it. Most of us didn’t “listen” to our bodies. We took our good health for granted and lived in blissful ignorance.
So aging seems to bring, along with the gray hair, more and more gray areas in life, especially health related issues, where there are no set solutions to matters of mind, body and spirit A little more than an apple a day is needed to address the problem of an arthritic knee, and no one person has all the answers. In some cases, there simply are no answers or cures. One must somehow forge one’s own path ahead to get light and definition in the gray areas. This can be done through intuition.
Never too late to Build Intuitive Skills
Intuition is something all of us are born with, but few of us make a point to work on as we would work on building our muscles or financial portfolio. Yet like our muscles and portfolios, it’s never too late to work on our intuitive abilities as long as we are mentally competent.
At first this effort to develop intuitive skills most likely will seem completely stupid, especially if one hasn’t tried it. After all, within is where all the problems are felt—between the pounding heart, the tightened stomach and splitting headache!
Where to Start
It helps beginners to read a few good books on intuition or maybe take a class in intuition. It takes a little guidance for most adults to go from the head to the heart, a journey described as one of the longest anyone can possibly make. Like every serious undertaking, a little groundwork and the learning of a few techniques are required. And being serious about it helps. You can’t just say a few “oms” and expect to feel better. For some seniors, reading the books and applying the self-help techniques to develop intuition are quite enough and could prove very beneficial. Others will become fascinated by what they learn, and realize they possess special intuitive gifts which they may want to develop through the help of a trainer. Most will certainly become more confident in making decisions regarding the “gray areas.” The discovery of these gifts could open up a new phase of life not only for self development but for helping others.
0 Comments on Senior Wisdom: Using Intuition to Master the Gray Areas as of 3/7/2014 3:28:00 PM
Well, last week my Dad reached the grand old age of 90. (Cheers deafen the blogger as she grins.) And as oldest daughter and avid amateur party-planner, I took the helm and planned an awesome party for my Dad for last Saturday. (I also had a ferocious head cold that evolved into an upper respiratory infection. But, who cares about that?)
So, here are some things I learned in the process: 1. Don't count on a 90-year-old to show up for his own party. He did not show. As a matter of fact, he ended up in the hospital for emergency surgery the very next day. Some people will do anything to avoid a party!!!! 2. You can add diacritical marks to a Pages document just by holding down a couple of keys. I've already forgotten what those keys are but now that I know it can be done I will find the instructions. 3. Those "Help" windows are actually helpful in many, many programs. 3a. Use those "Help" windows. Staring at a computer screen will not get the job done. 4. The best ideas are hatched right before the party when there is no time to implement them. For instance, Face Sudoku - thanks to my sister CG. There are 9 siblings and 9 numbers in Sudoku. Just substitute a different face for each number and there you go. OR, slide photo Bingo. Make Bingo cards with photos from the event's slide show and everyone will be sure to watch the slide show very carefully. (My family LOVES slide shows. Our spouses - not so much!)
But, now, my Dad has another hurdle to overcome. Just how he will get back to charging the net for a backhand return, I don't know. He won't be playing tennis anytime soon.
5. The last thing I learned is this. Time is finite. Don't waste any of it. 90 years seems like a loooong time but it is never long enough if you love someone.
1 Comments on Things I've learned, last added: 2/21/2013
Why do people feel compelled to do battle with all things related to aging? Hair gets colored, as if having gray hair is shameful. Young, nubile women begin getting Botox before the age of 30; begin using anti-wrinkle creams in their 20’s.
Have we come to despise these signs of having lived past our teen years?
My hair gleams with gray sprinkled throughout from years lived and loved. Hard work went into the making of those signature hairs. Why should shame be associated with them?
Small lines have taken up residence around my mouth. Are they caused by laughing too much? If so, my favorite past-time will continue to occupy me. Laugh lines are far better in my estimation than facial stress fractures.
The reasoning behind this abhorrence of aging escapes me. My entire experience here on Planet Earth was lived at the same moment—the one in which I am aware. Age has rarely meant anything to me.
At age twelve, people treated me as 19-20. When nineteen came along, people assumed I was in my mid-20’s. By the time my 30’s arrived, most of my friends were in their early 20’s. Even now, I have few real friends my own age. I know plenty of people in their 50’s and 60’s, but those whom I call true friends are of all ages, from the very young to those in their late seventies and older.
It’s always been my contention that age is only a marker for statistical purpose. The body may have tell-tale signs of wear and tear. But the me operating this body has no age, except the one I inside my head.
The question which needs to be posed to a person is: If you’re so unhappy to reach your current age that you need to reconstruct your body to hide your experience, is reconstruction likely to erase your unhappiness?
Does one’s happiness depend on the physical representation of the person inside? After all, our bodies are only the vessels, which carry us around on this planet. Is our preoccupation with conforming to culture’s definition of beauty the only path to self-satisfaction and acceptance? Must we all be life-sized, unrealistic Barbie’s and Ken’s in order to be accepted as vital, beautiful, and worthwhile? If so, aren’t we all waving a white flag; surrendering our individuality and uniqueness in favor of a cultural i
0 Comments on Waving the White Flag as of 5/23/2012 11:17:00 AM
Why do people feel compelled to do battle with all things related to aging? Hair gets colored, as if having gray hair is shameful. Young, nubile women begin getting Botox before the age of 30; begin using anti-wrinkle creams in their 20’s.
Have we come to despise these signs of having lived past our teen years?
My hair gleams with gray sprinkled throughout from years lived and loved. Hard work went into the making of those signature hairs. Why should shame be associated with them?
Small lines have taken up residence around my mouth. Are they caused by laughing too much? If so, my favorite past-time will continue to occupy me. Laugh lines are far better in my estimation than facial stress fractures.
The reasoning behind this abhorrence of aging escapes me. My entire experience here on Planet Earth was lived at the same moment—the one in which I am aware. Age has rarely meant anything to me.
At age twelve, people treated me as 19-20. When nineteen came along, people assumed I was in my mid-20’s. By the time my 30’s arrived, most of my friends were in their early 20’s. Even now, I have few real friends my own age. I know plenty of people in their 50’s and 60’s, but those whom I call true friends are of all ages, from the very young to those in their late seventies and older.
It’s always been my contention that age is only a marker for statistical purpose. The body may have tell-tale signs of wear and tear. But the me operating this body has no age, except the one I inside my head.
The question which needs to be posed to a person is: If you’re so unhappy to reach your current age that you need to reconstruct your body to hide your experience, is reconstruction likely to erase your unhappiness?
Does one’s happiness depend on the physical representation of the person inside? After all, our bodies are only the vessels, which carry us around on this planet. Is our preoccupation with conforming to culture’s definition of beauty the only path to self-satisfaction and acceptance? Must we all be life-sized, unrealistic Barbie’s and Ken’s in order to be accepted as vital, beautiful, and worthwhile? If so, aren’t we all waving a white flag; surrendering our individuality and uniqueness in favor of a cultural i
10 Comments on Waving the White Flag, last added: 5/23/2012
To be young Claudsy….how deep in our culture does this yearning go? When I was a kid, I was fascinated by Ponce De Leon’s search for the fountain of youth in Florida (isn’t that why the snowbirds go there?)
I’m pretty good at accepting my age; but popular culture wants me to strive to be young: “60 is the new 30.” Youth-craving expressions like that make snake oil salespeople who peddle “youth” salivate like Pavolv’s dogs!
We have a tsunami of people aging and more businesses selling anti-aging products than there are bedbugs in New York City. it is the perfect storm for capitalism and a sinking ship for the “you-can-age-gracefully” crowd.
But there is hope! Those of us with an individualistic bent, who have found our internal beauty, can live at peace with growling old. And those who exalt anti-aging celebrities, such as the legendary Joan Rivers…well they’re already in Bloomingdale’s searching for the latest product as we discuss this issue.
claudsy said, on 5/23/2012 11:42:00 AM
You’re so very right, JP. So much of our advertising dollar goes toward recreating youth, as if youth has more to offer than an illusion of time standing still. Every time I get into this question, I think about the movie “Matrix.” I have to ask myself and others how much of what we see, feel, experience in this world is a mere fantasy within the mind of a dreamer wired to someone’s mega machine.
Do we really even exist, except as someone else’s experiment in behavoral science lab?
devilintheflesh said, on 5/23/2012 11:45:00 AM
I think we don’t want to be younger, but rather appear younger. Many times I’ve run into old people limping onto the bus in their walkers, and sometimes they’ll look at me and say: “Son, don’t get old. It’s *awful*.” I can’t argue with someone who knows.
So I’m all for trying to look younger, as long as it’s not what we build our lives around. The trick is to look it without looking like you’ve tried.
claudsy said, on 5/23/2012 12:15:00 PM
There’s certainly nothing wrong about trying to stay healthy and fit. I wish I could have the fitness I did when I was 30, and I’m working toward getting fitter.That step, though, isn’t for beauty’s sake, but so that my quality of life remains high as I continue to age.
And most of those old folks on the bus, have the problems they have because they had to work very hard to make a living, hold together families, and reach the age where you see them. Beauty for its own sake wasn’t a priority for them. A roof, food on the table, and caring for family were their priorities. For many of them, beauty was something one had or didn’t have.
I suppose what disturbs me is the knowledge that we train tiny little girls, for instance, to look and act like adults, and then as soon as they arrive at young adulthood, they’re encouraged to go back, stay as young as possible. The double message isn’t good or healthy, in my opinion. I haven’t any problem with plastic surgery for the repair of injury disfigurement and such.
But when a person’s whole life is consumed by their “look and youth,” I feel only concern for the trend that helped produce the person’s downward spiral. Do we have to body-sculpt our way to acceptance in our own culture? Is that where we’re headed in a time when so many truly important issues are on the table?
cloudfactor5 said, on 5/23/2012 1:11:00 PM
Here’s a take on aging that will hopefully make you laugh!
George Carlin Version
I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in a nursing home
feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work,
you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years
until you’re too young to work.
You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you’re generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school,
you become a kid,
you play,
and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then…
You spend your last 9 months
floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions
- central heating, room service on tap,
and then…
You finish off as an orgasm.
claudsy said, on 5/23/2012 1:19:00 PM
Ah, Cloud, this has always been a favorite schtick of Carlin’s. He did have perspective down pat. Thank you so much for sharing this laugh today. It’s something for all of us to enjoy. I wonder if Merlin would have approved of this rendition of his lifestyle.
carrieboo33 said, on 5/23/2012 1:42:00 PM
I dunno, personally, I think there is something rather perverse about our obsession with looks and weight in this culture, given the harsh reality that exists for many. Seems like an evil plot to me, to keep us from noticing and caring about the things that really matter. Great post, Clauds. (I’d say more, but I gotta run… midget on the loose.)
claudsy said, on 5/23/2012 2:06:00 PM
It is a large distraction factor. That much is certain, Carrie. Comes in a package with a gift tag that says, “Look at me; not what I do.”
Veronica Roth said, on 5/23/2012 6:51:00 PM
God this is really the wrong post for me to be commenting at the wrong time! I’ve spent today wrapped in thoughts of the finality of life, but managed to get some of it out of my system via post to my website, and now I’m concentrating on your lovely post. For me I try not to dwell on youth and beauty but as a woman (of a certain age) working in the communications field, I’m bombarded with it. My opinion is that women allow and agree with nasty, gendered and misogynistic reviews of women. Ageing wouldn’t be such a cultural concern if women weren’t the major agents of patriarchy in our society. Not enough women are saying enough already and too many women are criticising female celebrities for extra weight, wrinkles, and generally giving into a myth they think is the male desire while dismissing the fact that they are their own denigrating abusers. Oh God…there I go. Claudsy, feel free to delete this comment if you like.
claudsy said, on 5/23/2012 7:12:00 PM
Not on your life, Veronica. Since women are half of the society and society creates this problem in perception and aspirations, we help–as a gender–to contribute to its continuance.
If we were more secure in who we are as people, and stop worrying about sexual appetite and attraction all the time, much of the problem would resolve itself.
This is a complex perceptual situation, with so many sides and factors in it, that to pinpoint the ultimate determinant is nigh on to impossible. Suffice it to say that we, as a society, buy into the hype and believe that it’s accurate. Media doesn’t help any either. You know that as well or better than most.
If the money spent on cosmetics in this country each year was pooled and distributed to feed and shelter the truly needy, we’d all be better off. Just my two cents worth, too.
Old age aint no place for sissies. - Bette Davis
I turned 32 today. It's kind of odd to think back to ten or fifteen years ago and what I had planned to do with my life, and how, really, none of those plans or dreams are even the same now. I mean, I've wanted to be a professional artist or author in some capacity since I was a child, but at 23 I don't think I would have ever imagined I'd be
3 Comments on Time - It Keeps On Slipping, last added: 8/27/2010
Happy Birthday Kris! I'll be 42 on Thursday and plan on eating some ice cream also. (and hopefully some other tasty edibles) It is interesting how our plans and dreams change over the years. There is definately some truth in what you said. When I was younger, I enjoyed reading and playing video games and I have to say I'm still doing that now.<br /><br />Cheers mate!
Mark turned 30 today. I am 4 years young so it is great. I can give him a hard time about it. But, I still think life in the 30's is a great time because you are into a real life but still have time to change it if you want.
Yknow, I wished you a happy b-day here, but it didn't show up. I guess I hit the wrong button! Oh well!<br /><br />Have a happy one! May the next 365 days be better than the last!
It started out by me taking a couple of photos of this cute fish and cat teapot that my sister bought me when she came to visit on Saturday. We love going to second-hand stores and antique shops. For now I've placed him on the shelf between the kitchen and the dining room. I think he's smitten with that bunny!
Here is another view with the light from my studio doorway in the background. I'm standing in my galley kitchen in front of my stove.
Thank you pat. I love this little guy! he makes a wonderful addition to all of my blue and white pieces. (But you knew he would!)
This handsome, adorable awesome guy is Grady, my friend's cat. They're away in Sedona, Arizona for a much needed vacation. Grady has special needs because he's a herpes kitty with major sinus issues. Let's just say it was a very messy nose day today!
That said, I'm doing a mural (small trompe l'oeil actually) for his mom's birthday
21 Comments on Cats and Pratfalls, last added: 5/22/2010
Oh, I am so glad you are ok! Sometimes it's easy to dismiss that nagging voice that says "be careful". I don't know if it's just getting old (boo) but I am more aware of how simple things can turn in to really bad things - snap - like that!
Just from the photos, I am in love with your neighbor's cat! What a cutie pie!
OH NO. I feel for you as that is sooooo ME. I do things like that all the time. Some how I have been fortunate to land alive. You will be sore a few days I fear but thank goodness you are ok. I did get a chuckle out of that fat ass comment tho. ;)I think mine has saved me too. LOL
OHMYGOSH Lolo, I am so happy you weren't hurt (besides your pride), gosh that is SO scary. I have also done stupid things like that and well, lesson learned, like you. Most of the time I try to wear the right shoes. Most being the key word here. Just today I put the wrong darn shoes on cuz I was in a hurry and slipped and fell also. Must have been the day for it.
LOVE your robin header and you always put the perfect words on.
Yikes lo! I am so happy you are okay. Please take care! I am in love with Grady, he is a doll and your friend is so lucky to have you to take care of him. I wish I had you, here! xoxo
I am glad nothing broke. You will probably be even more sore tomorrow. Take a hot bath and soak those tired sore muscles. Take care. Handsome cat too. HAW anyway.
NO! How scarey is that! So silly, how easily those falls can happen,,,and so fast! I actually broke my foot from falling out of my computer chair! (go figure!) Glad you're okay,,and glad you could care for Grady. Wonderful gift cat too! Feel better,,,,,
OHHH I love Grady. We have one up for adoption at PetsMart that looks just like him. What a doll. Love your pictures, and am sooo glad you are alright. Be careful girlfriend.
pretty scary to fall like this. Definitely dont want to break anything. A couple times when Mom was alive I came into a room to find her standing on a little stool to reach a high cabinet. At 90. !!! Even though she knew she shouldnt be doing so.
Kitty is very sweet. Glad you have him for company as you paint. Be well and take care, Suki
Having been the recipient of a new hip due to a fall, I say, YES! Make sure you have the right things! Be careful becuase I would not want anyone else to have to go through half a year of down time to heal...... And that cat; oh my! What a fine kitty! So cute, so fluffy!
Lo, I am late getting to your post....how scary....you WERE SO LUCKY..... that fall could have been much worse... I am sure you are sore and black and blue today....so, when you continue to work on this project, go C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y and slowly.
(You did crack m up with the "fat ass" comment!) Your new "Assistant" is pretty adorable.....he has wonderful expressions in that furry face!
oh noes! I thought you were going to say the cat tripped you...but this is, well...much more of a catastrophe! I have had that same feeling of 'this is dangerous' and still continued but yes, as I age I find myself contemplating that hip replacement surgery and it slows me down a bit to consider...
Oh Lo!!!!!!!! Now I know what happened. :( I think you were lucky while being unfortunate to fall. It all could have ended so much worse... I am glad you are ok , sore but nothing broken or permanently damaged..... SCARY. A tough lesson. And yes a little female fat can be a lifesaver! If you were too skinny you would have broken something maybe. From now on take better care and I will kleep this lesson in mind too, because this could have been me.
The kitty is adorable I can see why you love him.
The gifts from your sister are exquisite.
Big hug (not too firm this time......ouch) from me
Oh, my gosh!!!! I am so glad you're ok! How easily these things happen, and how much harder to recover when we're a little older, heh! I do hope the muscle aches aren't too bad...take a bath in Epsom salts. It will be comforting, at least.
I used to fall with regularity and so far have been fortunate I have not broken anything. I am far less adventurous now...
What a lovely cat! I so miss having a cat...just by looking at him I can tell he has a sense of humour!
Hope you're feeling better...I'm late commenting, as usual, lol!
Kudos to your bottom....it is there for a reason. Thankful that you are reasonably okay, VERY hard lesson learned! Grady is precious, kitties can be so funny and so "helpful" sometimes! I have missed a few posts....LOVED the post about your book, how awesome is that! Please take care and have a great weekend.
I hope by the time you read this you are feeling much more spry and cheery. I had a similar incident one time just because I was 'making do' with out the right tools and support to do the job. Angels were certainly watching over you-of that I am sure...Hugs to you and your life saving "plump bum"!
Today is a milestone over at Plot This. SF has hit the BIG ONE!!!!!!!!!!! And to begin the celebration (which is lasting a full week) I am having a tea party for her this morning at my house.
For this special event, we (her writing group) are recreating her picture book, TEA PARTY.
It's a Burton-esque masterpiece for a budding little goth girl.
Many pics and commentary will arrive shortly. This is the table. Notice the melted candles, stuffed squirrel, cobwebs and bugs! Not to mention the eleven dead roses hanging upside down from the chandelier. She is gonna freak!
HAPPY BIG ONE SF!!!!!!!!! I love ya! This is me with black goth dripping from my eyes. Gotta go get ready! More pics to come!!!
12 Comments on A VERY MERRY UN-BIRTHDAY SF!!!!!!!!!!, last added: 4/28/2009
Happy Birthday SF! You are SO hot for 40. Absolutely fabulous.
And Katie, is that your pet squirrel? Whatever happened to him anyways? And you're such a good friend/southern belle hosting a tea party for your bestie's b-day. Love it.
Big Happy Birthday to SF!! I'm thinking 40 calls for even more than a week celebration. Think you can drag this thing out a MONTH? Come on. 40 year olds can do ANYTHING. xxxxooooo
I have always loved this poem. I've chosen one of my Soulcollage cards to depict the magic of childhood.
The Summer Day Mary Oliver Who made the world?Who made the swan, and the black bear?Who made the grasshopper?This grasshopper, I mean-the one who has flung herself out of the grass,the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes. Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is. I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields, which is what I have been doing all day. Tell me, what else should I have done? Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
38 Comments on Illustration Friday: Fleeting Time, last added: 5/11/2009
I love that poem. I've never heard it before. But I loved it immediately. The magic in it. Thank you.
Your image is magical too. I'm reminded of the lightening bugs we'd chase after. I don't think I ever knew what they looked liked. (I can see I have some googling to do.)
oh lo, you are so wise. i learn so much from you. i have the honor of being your friend, and i am so glad.
this last line says everything anyone would ever need to ask and ever need to know. thank you for the reminder. it's a question i want to ask myself every single day. xoxo
I wanted to illustrate the last line of this poem but I just couldn't think of what to draw or paint. I remembered I had a box of my Soulcollages somewhere and when I went through them this image stood out. I'm glad some of you are reading this poem for the first time. It's a powerful piece, for sure.
I am also new to the poem. It would be wonderful if we had quick and fast answers to the question but I think that you spend your life searching for the answer...... finding your way.
I just love Mary Oliver. I can so connect with her way of looking at the world. Your card is a perfect compliment to this poem with the feelings they evoke.
Superb! I love your collage - it's just magical! I'm not that familiar with Mary Oliver but enjoyed reading this poem and will definitely have to seek out more of her work!
Oh--I love this collage! Wonderful wonderful colors and images. And though I'm a Mary Oliver fan, I hadn't read this poem before. It reminds me of one of my favorite passages from Emerson's essay "Self-Reliance": "Prayer is the contemplation of the facts of life from the highest point of view. It is the soliloquy of a beholding and jubilant soul. It is the spirit of God pronouncing his works good."
Raven sister the collage is amazing. Do you have a collection of cards like that that you made. I would love to go see them.
The card is full of wonder and magic. I love it.
The poem is you. That is how I see you. My mother always said that a person who loves animals is one of the best loving people around. That is true with you.
Did you make the f=bomb image for me. I of course love it.
Have a wonderful day and thank you for starting it off with magic for me.
3. Duh, could it be the Raven who sees what others do not want to see.
4. There are two meanings for the word x-ray and they are that you are either being decieved by someone or something and need to look beneath the surface of this person or situation. The other meaning is that you are digging deep within to find out something that has been troubling you. You need to seek the truth in either case.
5. The heel also has a double meaning Laurel and they are oppression and vulnerability.
6. re 4 & 5 because you had the two together wihin the same dream I tend to think that you are making real headway in a situation that has been buried deep and has left you feeling oppressed and vulnerable for years. The really exciting part is that the heels have come off and you are now in loafers which means you are done with those problems as they (think heels under your feet) are not what you are anymore. You are becoming more of what you have always meant to be. What held you tight for a long period, does not hold you in its grasp any longer.
I was somewhat surprised by this image, pleasantly so, I might add. What a powerful piece! Full of strong imagery that goes well with the poem. So much of the imagination is stirred. Fleeting is what life is really, it's us who hold on...
I like the poem, and I like grasshoppers, and warm summer nights and lightening bugs, and the universe above me.
Beautiful Laurel.
Kate James said, on 4/13/2009 9:13:00 PM
That's one of my favourite poems too...especially that last line. Thanks for the timely reminder.
COBOL said, on 4/13/2009 11:23:00 PM
wonderful poem and illustration
Ruth said, on 4/14/2009 7:12:00 AM
I like the picture and the poem. Mary Oliver is one of my favourite poets.
AndyDoodler said, on 4/14/2009 5:13:00 PM
Wow! Beautiful pieces of art! Perfect for each other. I need to read more in this wild and precious life- never read Mary Oliver- parts remind me of Native Am. myth. Thanks for sharing
Margaret Ann said, on 4/14/2009 9:57:00 PM
This is awesome beautiful...I am glad and thankful that in this one life of mine that I have met you...you bring me richness of soul!
Laura said, on 4/15/2009 8:56:00 AM
Hi Laurel!!! Thanks for reminding me today how much I love Mary Oliver's work and this poem - especially the last line.
Your SoulCollage card is amazing and mystical (glad you found them!) hope you'll share more of them soon :>
Laura xoxo
ValGalArt said, on 4/15/2009 6:39:00 PM
very beautiful and filled with goodness :)
Indigene said, on 4/16/2009 7:51:00 AM
What a lovely poem, and the image is amazing! It brings back so many memories, which makes it a strong image, too! Oh, I'm loving this new banner!
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL POEM AND HOW TRUE.HAVING EXPERIENCED ALMOST LEAVING THIS WORLD 3 WEEKS AGO FROM A VERY BAD KIDNEY INFECTION I CAN APPRECIATE ALL THAT GOD HAS GIVEN US IF WE JUST LOOK AROUND.COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS EVERY DAY NO MATTER HOW BAD THINGS LOOK.AND I THANK ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS,GOD LISTENED AND I AM ON THE MEND. LAURELS BROTHER JIMMY
It's funny because as I get wiser in years, I've come to terms that living fully means taking risks, taking chances at all life has to offer. Yes, some may see it as "making a fool of oneself," and I think we all have the blushes of "youth" behind us on things we've done or perhaps decided not to do, for fear of embarrassment or how others would see us.
Maybe it's when we finally accept ourselves, we appreciate the chances to make fools of ourselves. (which I did today in the most public way)
It's only been in the last couple of years that I've realized the value of regularly putting oneself in discomfort of some sort...pushing the boundaries...facing one's fears...making a fool of oneself...however you describe it. It gives us a chance to remake ourselves and our perception of ourselves again and again. It grows new muscles, sharpens the vision, limbers the mind and pushes out the horizon.
I believe that's the secret of staying young in spirit.
Thanks for posting this video! As you spoke, I thought of Lewis Carroll's "Lobster Quadrille" (which I've set to music), and how much I try to take my daily living lessons from that poem:
What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied. "There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. The further off from England the nearer is to France -- Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
Thanks for this reminder, Beth. I'm often too afraid (and shy and nervous) to do things that I don't understand or that I'm not good at. It's fun to remember that making a fool of yourself can be a good thing. I'm going dancing tonight and I'll keep that in mind. :)
I told you I might have a few of these Panic posts. But seriously, is this going to be me, at age 80? Still writing my book, and still trying to sell it?? Please say no.Please say no. HAHA She does kinda resemble me in my leather chair at the coffee shop...
So, lately, I decided that perhaps what I need is a good read of my story. Specifically the first 75 pages. So last week, after "Random Panic - number one," and before "Random Depression," (oh, we are sick) I emailed drafts to three people. The following day I received a call from Critiquer number one. She had so many great ideas and changes that I felt sick and overwhelmed with just trying to figure out where to begin. Because I really loved a lot of her ideas!
But then, within minutes, I got a call from Critiquer number two. (you gotta love these girl’s speed!) Her take on my story was almost the polar opposite of number one! Yikes! What to do? Panic set in fast. I decided to take a day off, and just think. But lately this is hard to do, because all I want to do is WRITE, WRITE, WRITE. What do you do when you have such opposite advice??
After pacing the house a few hundred times, I got another call. It was my precious neighbor and long, lost, best friend. She said, “Hey Katie, I haven’t seen you in so long that I miss you! How 'bout you come over tomorrow night for a glass of wine?”
Ahhh - I thought. That’s what non-writer friends are for :-) a glass of wine and mindless chatter. SURE! THANKS!!!
P.S. I have since received a review from C3, and she had even MORE ideas. My brain is feeling heavy and explosive.
P.P.S. I got an iphone, and it is helping with the chaos :-) I highly recommend one!
10 Comments on RANDOM PANIC - number two., last added: 11/26/2008
Weren't you just telling me how much you go over everything each time you sit down, and how much that slows you down?
Well, silly, of course everyone's gonna have a bunch of ideas for you if you have them read it! But if you keep reworking your first 75, you'll never have more than your first 75. I'm sure your friends ideas were great, and I don't mean anything derogatory by this, but IGNORE THEM!!!
At least, until you've got your first full draft done. THEN you can deconstruct your book and tear it to shambles and rebuild from the ground up. But ya gotta let that first draft run free, or you'll suffocate your characters. My two cents, anyway. Now go write, and don't stop! Good luck!
I am laughing Tyler! And rest assured that I am writing away.
I think you have assumed that the first 75 is all I have written. This is not so, my dear. I am almost finished. I am just editing these for a partial request from an agent :-)
So don't worry friend. But I DO have a very backwards style of writing - and so I DO sometimes edit before I create - which I know can be a problem for some, and so I am aware. But so far, so good.
In fact, I fear I have over written the first half and need to cut and get to the action quicker. Not sure. But I LOVE all of your encouragement and advice. THANKS!!!
here is what I had to do: 1) figure out what kind of book you want - mystery, drama, coming of age, etc. 2) once you have main theme it should drive your plot. ie - mine is thriller, more plot driven so I need it to be pacy. its not a romance and not a mystery per sae. 3) most importantly - take all the feedback and sift in through your gut. what resonates the most. It will probably be a little of both.
in the end - it is your book, you gotta follow your heart.
Katie, I did NOT give you permission to put my grandmother's picture up on our blog.
Okay, kidding. I don't want to start random panic number three . . . Seriously, great advice from everyone.
Tyler, your advice totally applies to me. I'm bad about overworking and rereading the beginnings of my books--and I think it really shows when I go back and read them.
Here's my problem, I feel like I have to start at the beginning and read everything that I've written starting on page one to be able to write--so that I can get in touch with the flow of the story, the characters' voices, etc. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is that I get bogged down editing and changing the first few chapters, and I wear myself out before I get to the later part of the book.
I just have a hard time opening up my computer to page 75 and starting to write "cold" without rereading what is building up to that scene.
I will say that Sara Pennypacker says that she writes in a similar way--somehow, though she's able to avoid picking her first chapters to death. Maybe I should read a PDF version of the first part of my book so I won't be tempted to edit as I go along. . .
Good advice Shelli. That is what I am trying to do.
SF - great description of why it's hard to just start on page 75. Like now, I had to go out to lunch with some people and now it takes me a few blog read, a couple of facebook comments, and some emailing, before I can mentally settle down.
And then I find, that I have to read a while, and feel the book, before I can jump right in. Laini had some good advice today for this problem.
But this is why it takes SOO long to really write anything. It's a matter of settling and focusing the mind. You know? It is probably only an issue for ADDers... huh?
I can't wait for tonight!!!!!! Squeeeeeee!!! (that was a squeal.)
This post made me laugh - love the picture, too! Nope, you are NOT going to be some ancient decrepit old lady before you sell a book - bah!
It can be very nerve-wracking to hear polar opposite ideas. I know you're eager to write, write, write, but just calm your heart, go for a walk, clear your head, then take an hour or two of serious pondering and weighing in a quiet place. Maybe even make a list of all the ideas and comments so you can *see* them in front of you. And then, in the end, go with your gut and what feels *right* for your vision of the story. You don't have to do all the changes right now, either. Do enough for the partial request and send it out. And YAY for you on the request!!! Fingers crossed for you.
That's great you have a partial request, Katie! Now you and I can worry and wait together! Glad to hear you're back on track, and (if you're emailing your partial) good luck hitting that send button! It's tougher to do than you might think, haha.
And SF, the best advice I can give is to just write that awful first draft without a worry in sight, then go back and fix it. Heck, it's been two years of reworking for me to finally be able to say "done" on mine. And who knows how long that done will last. And trust me, that first draft was terrible. But also really fun, and a necessary experience. Although it's just about over, Nanowrimo is great for this. Forces you to just crank it out.
I'm using one of my older collages just in case I don't have time to paint something new this weekend. Artists who participated in my last show are filing through this weekend to pick up their work. Don't they know I have to get my "IF" done? Actually, I'm so grateful for their participation!
But ladies...what's up with everything ending up in our buttocks area after we reach a certain age? Would someone please invent calorie-free wine and chocolates?
26 Comments on IF : Sugar Coated Memories, last added: 9/4/2008
Oh Yeah! But for some reason that doesn't stop me from eatin' the chocolates! Hey what happened to your music playlist? I really enjoyed hearing your picks for the week.
I love this!! - and how the images and words work so well and are so funny together. Beautiful, very sweet:-) illustration - and now I must go and find some chocolate!!! Have a beautiful Sunday!
Oh, my dear, don't you know? We NEED that extra padding so our buttocks don't get sore from us sitting and eating more chocolate! Fantastic collage, and her expression is PERFECT!
Your really got the right expression on your lady to go with the thought! Just enjoy the wine and the chocolates; glass no 2 is headed this way (but it is, of course, much later here!).
Awesome collage, hee hee!... and no, actually, it's been so long, I can't remember a time when chocolate didn't go directly to my butt, hee hee! Of course, that won't stop me from indulging in wine or chocolate, or both simultaneously!
Congratulations, Mary! Looks like a wonderful book; Something for us Grandma's of your Cynthia's Attic fans? I have come to enjoy your style of writing in that series very much so can't wait to read WOOF!
Holding you and Dad in my prayers!
Hugs, Mickie