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Creating a life of art, writing, nature, spirit and travel in the great land of Alaska
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1. The River of Life, and Death

I am not a religious man, but I think moving water is the best thing God ever made.  -Jim Harrison



Standing at the river’s edge, I watch sticks from old uprooted trees quiver in the foaming brown current. In the early morning sun, gulls throw down their shadows, the tips of their wings translucent against the wild blue. They wheel over our heads, dive-bombing fish guts thrown into the river from our cleaning table. They know where the good food is, and argue over every last scrap. 

The moving, life-giving water leaps and tumbles, and I imagine just below the surface long schools of salmon nosing their way upriver, eager to return to their natal grounds, like power-forwards from the sea, fighting like hell to complete another cycle in the wheel of life. It’s so simple, really. In the plant and animal worlds (ourselves included), we sprout at birth and decompose at death, feeding the earth with our compost, completing the endless circle of life that sweeps voraciously through time. 

My community is busy, checking their fishwheels hourly, making all manner of technical adjustments, like the raising and lowering of the wheel as the water level rises and falls, keeping axles on the wheel greased, predicting when the next run will hit (midnight, 6 am?). Who’s to know? It’s a finicky business catching fish. You wait and you watch; then pounce at the appropriate time. It’s all about timing, when the fish decide to come to you, the Native people say. The river has nourished them for thousands of years, my family, only decades. Still, the ritual runs deep.


But this year I take pause to think about our yearly fishing ritual in more detail. In Jonathon Balcombe’s recent book, What a Fish Knows, he overturns our assumptions about how fish perceive. He tells us they have feelings, awareness and a social order that is, in some ways, similar to those of people. Scientific research has shown that fish display tool use (at the level of a 10-month old baby who learns to use a tool to retrieve a toy she can’t reach). Fish enjoy music, have distinct personalities, and feel pain, although he uses the word “suffer,” which I’m not so sure I would agree. Sensory pain is one thing, but “suffering” denotes for me at least, a “thinking about” the pain, another layer of psychological thought placed on top the pain, creating more misery, and I think we humans have a corner on that market.

Studies have also shown that salmon farms naturally have “drop out” fish, growth stunted fish that float lifelessly at the surface of farming ponds. These fish are severely depressed. Why? Because they have given up on life. Their brain chemistry and behavior is said to mimic those of other animals with documented depression.  They are smaller in size due to “failure to thrive” (like human babies who experience stunted growth in the absence of love and affection).

Halcomb goes on to say, however, we shouldn’t eat fish because we cause them to experience an “unpleasant” death, whether by sport-fishing with lures or commercial fishing via nets. Do we then have a moral obligation to assure a pleasant death for fish (and other animals), or should we stop the killing and not eat them at all? Surely we attempt to assure a pleasant death for humans by way of hospice and palliative care that provides relief from the symptoms of serious illnesses. How should we treat our fellow winged, gilled and four-legged creatures?




Upon close inspection though, many of the writers in disagreement with the predator-prey relationship (the circle of life?) have a hidden, or not so hidden agenda. One day, they say, all people will "wake up" to the healthier and more compassionate preference of not eating, or using any type of animal products. No meat, cheese, eggs, milk, crustaceans, fish, leather, fur, or their byproducts. Some claim they intend to be patient with the education process, and are convinced, in a sort of evangelical way, that people will see the benefits of vegan-ism, and will eventually right their "erroneous" thinking on the subject.

I do not consider the life-ways of indigenous people, of whom there are many across the globe, to be erroneous.

The Native people don’t see the taking of animals as exploitation or cruelty. Their worldview encompasses the animal in a symbiotic and spiritual relationship with the human; that one dies for the express purpose of giving life to another. They believe we humans don’t walk outside the circle of life, looking through a one-way mirror at the specimens contained within. We are part and parcel of that circle, during the normal, though violent act of birth; as we live year to year and co-exist with all of life’s pain and suffering. And in the end (death is not an outrage) when we die, however peaceful or terrifying that may be.

My worry is that this homogenous way of thinking, the recruiting of people to vegan-ism, will inadvertently destroy the many varied and unique cultures of the world. The people of various cultures spring up and are defined by the landforms and weather patterns they inhabit. They have their own foods, languages and ways of being. Should the Inupiat people be prohibited from taking whale, the centerpiece of their spiritual life and the lifeblood of their people? Taking away their indigenous foods is exactly how failure to thrive and depression would show up in the people who respect and give thanks to their fellow creatures for granting them life. In all practicality, eating greens at 40 below in the vast, treeless landscape of northern Alaska will not sustain you. Though the skin and the blubber of the bowhead will.

Should those of us who harvest natural food from the living waters be advised to eat artificial instead, like shrink-wrapped meat substitutes? Imitation crabmeat made of fillers, fake flavoring and dyes? I don’t have definitive answers, but so far, I’m not convinced.

I only skim the surface like the gulls wheeling overhead, feeling stuck in this literal world above water, unable to dive deep enough to fully understand the life giving secrets of how we are so deeply connected to the food we eat. But I know in my heart of hearts what is true. Red salmon harvested from the breathing waters of the Copper River is a great gift, representing so much more than a “commodity” or a “resource.” It comes with a lightness and energy that inexplicably ties us to the natural world, a part of something much greater than anything in the supermarket isles could ever provide.


What I do know is life and death spring forth from this land, simultaneously. It is the hunters and fishermen who have taught me, through example, how deeply a people can believe in the sacredness of life, and death. When you take away venerated foods, you potentially destroy a vivid and unique culture. You destroy worldviews in which people do not dictate “right” living to others, but live their lives as people who clearly see and appreciate their rightful place not only in the world, but born of it, as integrated links to the rest of creation.

What to do when, we consider the inner lives of plants and how, as Daniel Chamovitz says in his book, What a Plant Knows, that plants too, have feelings and uprooting them causes pain? That they prefer the melodies of Bach over the rock guitar riffs of Led Zeppelin. That the discovery of talking to plants may prevent failure to thrive. That plants are aware of their surroundings.

What then, shall we eat?






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2. Too Late?



every year he drives down from Washington
parks his camper on the land
spends weeks watching the clapping of leaves in the wind,
how the river goosenecks in the valley, below
and he clears deadfall, walks
the land from all angles, envisions the placement
of a house just so
He has hands that have built things, thick-fingered
rough hewn, hardened
he knows tools: the axe, the pick, and the saw
he thinks of nothing else when he gets back home, to live in a landscape he loves, to create something new from the ground up, but...
But I'm 75, he says
and my son says why bother, insinuating
"you'll die soon"
...and I say to the man, so what?
I say dreams don't die until we're cold and dark, under
I say live that vision in your mind's eye
I say walk your dream, home


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3. Stratum



                          Gliding down a shoot
                           The river's smooth tongue pulls
                           Us into leaping haystacks where

                           Cold water curls and cascades
                           Splashing our faces, drenching our bodies.


                      On the other side of riffles and cobbled rocks
                      We slap the boatman's back: relax, laugh.


                         The green mile wraps it lovely arms
                         Around boulders, downstream
                         In the canyon agave flowers pup out rosettes
                         And at dusk, the sacred white Datura blooms.


                             I watch Lauren row in a subtle, delicate manner
                             Reading the water, finessing hydraulics, dodging boat-sucking holes.
                             She is at home and bound to her boat with a calm and
                             Passion, only a Grand Canyon boatwoman knows.


                              In this ancient terrain, I cannot grasp the vastness, or
                               The magnitude of time in the million of years echoed in
                               Layers of rock, cliffs and slopes.


                                I can only make a grand sweep of my hand, majestically
                                Across the land and say
                                A masterpiece of this scale, the desert, mountains
                                River, are uplifting gifts of deep mystery, history


                           And the memories we made here, exist now...but will disappear


                                  Like rain that evaporates
                                  Before reaching the ground.




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4. Lighten Up and Don't Look Down

                             
           Yes, there's still ice on the river, but we're getting there

Geez. It's April already. Long time, no post. I'm sitting here looking out the window at pussy willows blooming, the ground snowless; dry and brown as rusty gutters. No rain. It's that edgeless time of year when there are no sharp distinctions, a sort of borderless time when clear boundaries between "this" season and "that," are pretty much truant. It isn't spring, and it isn't winter, and it sure as hell isn't even close to being summer. I'm planting seeds indoors, eager to stick my hands into warm black earth, but the earth in my backyard is still frozen solid. Birds are clearing their throats and chirping, reluctant to sing too loud and get all our hopes up.

I went on a hike with some friends this weekend, a really good one, panoramic views of snow capped mountains meeting the sea at Turnagain Arm is such a rush. Ten and a half miles, 24,587 steps (I love my IPhone health gizmo) and a couple places on the trail so calamitous I was thankful to have brought my hiking poles. Better to dig deep with, in loose scree, said Mama Bear in my head. 

I voiced a mantra under my breath..."don't look down, don't look down, don't look down" and I didn't, or I would have been cake. Didn't know I had such an innate fear of heights until that moment; the more probable scenario, however, is I'm growing older and as you grow older you, in a sense, digress into being a big fat baby again. Mommy don't let me fall! I had a good mom; she let me fall and that taught me courage and a very useful "stick-to-it-edness", which was a serviceable way of being on this hike and countless others; not to mention the many unexpected obstructions, and various forks on the very short (though at first glance, seemingly long-haul) road of life. 

Wait. I don't mean that; the growing old part. No one "grows" into old age; it's more like you're hammered and forged into a foreign body you hardly recognize anymore. No worries, though.

Something new I've learned. I hold on to things too tightly. Like this blog and my work of creating art. Art that sustains me. A friend recently told me, when I was complaining about having too many balls juggling in the air at one time,  to just let things go. Let my writing breathe, push the ol' photo processing limits (the ones with steep learning curves), get your hands messy at the paint table, she said. Set sail for a distant shore without knowing where you're headed, or where you'll end up. Don't worry so much about "time frames." (who made that phrase up, anyway?) I love friends. They always come to the rescue, no strings attached. They teach me about air, and breathlessness.

I used to think it was a handicap, having too many ideas in my head at one time; what to focus on, which one to reel in and land. But when she told me it's OK to be working on two different projects at one time, hell three, even four (while you're ignoring your blog responsibilities), I felt a breath of fresh air blow into the atmosphere. Sometimes you just need someone to give you permission to run with it and dump all the self-imposed obligations; you know, all the heavy as a bag of hammers, "should's."  My friend didn't lay a hand on bursting my bubble; she just brought me back down to solid ground...easy-like.

So I stopped hugging the slopes, except for the scree covered ones with 300 foot drops. Post when I want; don't when I don't want. Finish projects with a loose grip, and erase that serious smirk on my face, for God's sake. Lighten up. 

It all works out.


       
           Ice on the river saying,should I stay, or should I go?





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5. Cold Blue Steel


The days are short in mid December.

You have to chase light, what little of it is left to catch. 

But without sun there is drama,

a pull to water and sky,

the frosted tips of dead-still trees and bent, frozen grasses.  


At first glance, you think, there’s so much emptiness here. 

As if colorless is akin to depression, a voided wasteland. 

There is noise, daily noise not far away on a highway of commuters. 

There are voles, scurrying under snow mounds, trying to punch out a living here. 

Moose tracks. Your dog in a perpetual zig-zag of ground sniffing



Hoar frost. Old wooden beams. Steel.




You wait for the thunder of a train to rummage steel tracks over the frozen river. 

But your fingers and toes won’t wait long; the hairs in your nose freeze. 

Despite first impressions, there is life in cold places.




Power. Noise. 

And silence.










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6. Winter Moth



Winter Moth

A deranged sky, late November

Raindrops glisten the limbs of trees

Snow, the impossible dream

Archives of winter under my skin.

Let's stay in tonight

Lay back the quilt, olives

A glass of cold beer


Let old leaves tell the story

They know the truth

What ripens late, what

A hurdle the change

From brown to white


What a hurdle the change 

From brown to white, wingless

Warm winter, a newly-splendored thing.





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7. Sun. Stone. Sky

    Annie Leibovitz


These pastels, handmade by the late painter, Georgia O'Keefe, were colored with ingredients found in the local landscape at Ghost Ranch in Abiquiu, New Mexico.

Everyday on my walk from the casa to the ranch's dining hall for supper, I see these colors in hills and stones and sky. Everyday I am left breathless with the majesty of the natural world.

    Casa del Sol

Indulging in true creativity requires empty time and empty space. In those spaces of time, where the land creates a quickening in your heart, writing and drawing and painting leap forth like kenneled dogs, yearning to be set free. 




The pinks and oranges and purples stun the senses, appearing quickly, then disappearing; an ethereal show in the sky perfect to paint in pastels and acrylics. 

I'm always the first one in line at the dining hall, to have supper at 5:30, because the walk back to the Casa is 2 miles. Light changes quickly, creating shadows and colors that flutter like hummingbirds, present for a few moments, then gone. I have to hurry to get home before dark, before the whole show packs up and readies itself for the next day's performance. Nature really is performance, art...wouldn't you agree?




Sometimes I just can't believe my own eyes. As Mary Oliver said: I am a bride married to amazement. My greatest indulgences are innocent:  color, shadow, light, stones, sky, sun, dirt, texture, and all sorts of creatures, both great and small.

I have lost myself, dwelling in Them.


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8. You know how I like barbed wire


You know how I like barbed wire, how it twists
    Around old wood

How fenceposts lean; how I like to find a good place
To sit down on the sandstone


A mouse ran up the stone, sat right next to me
Whiskers flicking


"Do you know the tall and the dark under?" it said.
"No, I don't think so," I said.

"Just wait. You'll see."




I wonder: are we having a dialogue on the dead?



I  hear a hawk screech, or is it
An owl?

Under my feet are millions of voices, but 
All I hear is this brown mouse

Glancing sidelong and running like hell to
Slip into the shade.




*Photo location: Abiquiu, New Mexico



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9. It's Time to Say Au Revoir (to summer)


Watery memories of summer, sun streaked and showy
the texture of perfect loveliness


the sea's desire a kind of praise
a creature of summer, herself, rounded

and full, the roll of her hips
the twirl of her hand

water, kelp, mountain, leaf
like a jazz dancer


adorned in improvisations
of quickened light and color and movement,

she glides away casually without looking back
ventures behind a moon of blue and



sways to the decaying tune of September.




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10. Side roads: Marquette, Michigan

    house on Front Street, North


Side Roads

we could rent a sailboat, coast

smooth stone beaches

gorge on walleye cakes, 

whitefish in the soft shell.

we could stop at a supper club in the trees

drift like clouds,

feel boardwalk heat on our feet.

                   Suzi at the lighthouse


we could doze in screened-in porches

watch the sky topple

lightning flash on the lake,

sleep late.


                                 Jonathan, Lake Superior beach


we could push back the lace curtains

watch rain pound church steps

eat ice cream at the ore docks,

go west, turn left.


    crumbling ore docks


we could eat at an old-fashioned lunch counter,

cherry phosphates and baked

macaroni and cheese

we could hike moss covered rocks in a creek bed

climb 100 steps to a lighthouse

run the sand beaches, free.


    In front of Donckers luncheonette


we could walk the curved shoreline, obscured

fragrant of pine, 

recollecting our youth, we could leave our adulthood far

far away, and behind.

    Lake Superior, the ocean without salt, at Big Bay





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11. graveyard dredge: a poem



It's hard to think now, how men with their

shovelfuls and boatloads and sideroads mixed

the best color, the good rock, the pay streak, the bedrock.




Get a good look at shafts and rigs and steel hammers slamming




below the camp, beavers damming.




Get a good look at 8 square meters of tailing piles

men febrile and fevered, for miles




filling boxes with tools to reshape iron and wood




boxes of household and

grub, and wide metal tubs 

and the women lugging

ladles and bowls, stokeing wood-burning stoves.


They hauled anything they did not fear to lose, except




fingers and toes, 

as a man's body is sliced in half

under pressure and hose.


Dead men, like dozers 

driving steam into frozen muck.




Get a good look at men, black-faced with grease

skin drawn tight against bone

scarred by an iron bucket's icy stones.




The dredge monster is asleep now

all rust and bones.


 So much required to pursue their desire

this great force, gold, like a god.


riches flowed


Women drank mint tea from thin rimmed cups

and men, with their restless hands and drunk injury




pierced the ground and staked fortunes,

PAID IN FULL

with their blood.



*Poem and photos originated at Coal Creek Mine on the Yukon River during a writing workshop with poet, fiction writer and essayist, Gretel Ehrlich.





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12. Go Where The Trail Takes You

    Point A: Matt & Susan's cabin near Gunsight Mountain

The author-illustrator, Tomi Ungerer said, name your destiny's destination. We didn't have a specific Point B on our ride across the tundra on the backs of sturdy 4-wheelers; we just knew we were headed into the wild to imbibe the sky and tundra, and explore ancient fossil beds on unnamed creeks along the way. 

So we loaded up tools of the trade: rock picks and hammers, chisels, shovels, and a tool bag to carry our newfound samples. Sack lunches, water, a sense of humor (or two), wiley imaginations, and the willingness to embrace whatever stumbled across our path.

We were searching for prehistoric marine life that lay directly beneath our feet. Here, in the green-covered mountains, we were looking for ancient sea life, as it were.


We followed the trail up and down mountain passes, across rushing creek beds and into the wild, getting all muddied up in the process. Fortunately, we are creatures who take well to the mixing of earth and water and actually enjoy getting exceptionally dirty (as long as there is a shower or claw-foot tub at the end of the day).

    Forget the hair and nails; just take me to the mountains

From the top of Belanger Pass, we hopped off our wheelers, and spinning slowly in place we took in the view of  4 different mountain ranges: the Alaska Range, the Talkeetna Range, the Wrangell-St. Elias Range and the familiar, in our backyard Chugach Mountain Range. 

You can lock your sight on one for a spell and get lost in a daydream of sorts. 

OK. Back to ground level now.

After some bumpy riding over boulders and fumbling with very small turn ratios, we hit the Mother Lode. In an unnamed tributary to Alfred Creek in the Talkeetna Mountains, we found, you might say, decorated stones, or embroidered rocks. Attractive and textured. 

Chip, chip, chop, chop (can you hear our hammers at work?)


Cross-sections of variegated shells, like scallops, mussels and clams unfolded before our eyes. In the base rock of sandstone, we were, quite literally, standing on the beach in our mud boots, in the rain, way the heck out in the green mountains in a place that used to be saltland. Oh, Saltlandia!


Here's what the geologists and other rock fools really die for. Ammonites...the spiral impressions of a prehistoric octopus-like animal in a shell. The only surviving and nearest relative of the ammonite today is the pearly nautilus. Everyone loves the nautilus shell, no?

I swear sometimes I feel like I'm in a science fiction movie.


Whatever your destination, keep your eyes on the path. Go where the trail takes you...


...and take notice of the flowers, though sometimes found in very hard places...

take notice and smell the flowers along the way.

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13. Red Flagged

    McClennan

      
   RED FLAGGED


She hugs her baby, pats his bottom
sets him on the floor, in the center, where
spectators form a ring and watch.

The "experts": social worker, physical therapist
speech pathologist ask his parents
10,000 questions they do not

understand how to answer or
they don’t see the point

of it all.

The experts make marks on reams of paper, scribble
their impressions in the margins, as if

he is a deficiency, weak in his limitations
a flaw of nature

they show him how to roll a ball, blow bubbles
clap his hands in imitation

but his blank eyes stare at a speck on the floor.

The experts gather their papers and toys and
instruments of instruction

the boy’s mother
gathers him in her arms

the stoic father speaks:

We love him like this, the way he is.
He is our bright star in the sky.

We only want he eat Eskimo food
so he can carry us and
bury us in our village when we grow old.

An expert hands the mother a baby food grinder.

This will grind the muktuk, so the whale
can make your baby strong.

Strong enough to carry you and
bury you in the village

when you grow old.





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14. To Breathe and Bend

    M. Devine


(Be) Venerated

Breathe like a baby and soften

Bend in the wind and feather the ground

Become pliable as a young tree

                                          K. Devine

Breathe & recapture what was yours at

Birth

Breathe & buy back your one

Beloved life

Breathe: feel the rising & falling like a 

boat on gentle waves

Become a master, spacious & open. feel your

Breath as it is: a golden thread, your connection to life

Buddha would say distance yourself from thought & concentrate on your

Breath. the way you 

Breathe is the way you live.

Become the miracle of pranayama, taking in & giving back

Breathe with the belly like a sleeping baby

Bend in the wind without snapping &

Be reborn


                                                   J. Smith



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15. My Army


You should see my favorite people,
You catch a glimpse of gold through their skins.


I walk on air whenever I'm with them,
They're where the happiness begins.


And I'm alright on my own, but with them I'm much better


They're like diamonds and diamonds are forever.


Meet my friend, Lucy, whom I have known for over 30 years. This weekend she threw a great party, Retiredstock, for friends who have retired from their jobs in 2014: teachers, engineers, and artists. At Retiredstock, each retiree crossed the stage when their name was called, and instead of a diploma, Lucy pinned a set of wings to their backs.

They stand taller than giants,        
They outshine all the stars

They are the love above the love
They're my army of fortune,


They win every war
They are the love above the love


After raising kids, and filling our days with meaningful work, here we are, still laughing and loving, open to new adventures and ideas, scheming on the next new hike or art project or interesting place to visit. 

I remember when we were in our twenties, rounding Schooner Bend on the Kenai River; Lucy and I in kayaks, furiously paddling and screaming like we were on an amusement park ride, exhilarated by the fast water. And the kayak trip to Kodiak, when we flew for the first time, in a Widgeon, a small amphibious aircraft that lands on water (without floats, mind you). On the take-down, the belly of the plane set down and bobbed like a cork while mini waves rolled and splashed the airplane's windows.  



Exploring the beautiful waters of the Kodiak archipelago was priceless.  



And no one eats a marshmallow cooked over an open fire quite like Lucy. She savors every morsel in the same way she savors life. With deep enthusiasm, reverence and gratitude for all that is.



Discussing books and politics, sharing stories, creating art, writing, hiking, singing, and playing music; through all the decades of our lives, good friends are the wind under our sails.  

They're a boat when I'm underwater
They tame the sharks and they calm the waves
When I choke they pat my back harder
My load is light, my secrets are safe
And I'm alright on my own but with them I'm much better
They're like diamonds and diamonds are forever




I wonder where I would be today without that handful of friends that have given me a heart full of joy.

They stand taller than giants,
They outshine all the stars
They are the love above the love
They're my army of fortune,
They win every war
They are the love above the love


Listen to "Army" by Boy. With our friends we're much better. They're like diamonds, and diamonds are forever.



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16. Mendeltna Music Fest


I was just driving by, on my way to our cabin on the Copper River, and saw a modest sign propped up in front of the lodge:  Mendeltna Lodge Music Festival

Just before the Tazlina Trading Post, the road pushes through to the Copper River where our cabin sits. I was on my way there to spend a week clearing trees, hooking up an outdoor shower, and helping Husband build a fishwheel (since last year's wheel catapulted downriver in the big flood). By way of the "lazy man's" way of fishing, we watch red salmon swim into the revolving baskets and slide into a box, waiting to be filleted, vacuum packed and smoked. A yearly ritual carried out to fill our freezer, and the neighbor's freezer, and the friend's of friend's freezers...with fresh caught reds. That was Plan A.

Switch to Plan B: It doesn't take much for me to swing in and sleep in my car for the night if the main bait is music.

I love how the names of small villages in this area of Alaska roll off your tongue: Nelchina, Tazlina, Chistochina, Gulkana, Nenana, Mentasta. The Copper River Basin is home of the Ahtna tribe of Athabascan Indians, "Aht" meaning people, and "na" meaning river. Many of these villages only have a hundred or two full-time residents, but what they don't scrimp on is music.

                               Roy Corral of Whiskey Jacks

                               The incomparable Lulu Small...she does impressions too. 
                                It was Lulu's birthday; "I am 6, 10-year olds today," she said

You could spend the whole summer zipping around the state to music festivals held in very small venues. Most attract people who bring their instruments and jam around campfires. This is where you learn to strum and pick and sing, because it's not about showmanship, it's about community. You don't ask to join; you just pull up a chair or a stump and jump in on folk, bluegrass and gospel tunes where people play nonstop...for HOURS on end. 

                                Oudean family



The sun tried to burn a hole through the orangey haze blowing hundreds of miles from the Kenai fires blazing on the peninsula.



But that didn't stop the music makers. 








Consider the Ugly Bass guy. I met him at a campsite, where he was playing a bass he made from found objects. Said he once built a cabin called the Pallet Palace, made from discarded wood pallets.

His upright bass was made of recycled wood. He is a doctor, mind you, and as a joke, one of his buddies put a bag of bones in his mailbox (just deer bones, no worries), and he used those for the bridge on his bass. How resourceful.


Doctor Dave tunes his bass with a 7/16" box end wrench. Really, it didn't sound that bad!


    Always some booty to be had

Back to the music. The Rock Bottom Stompers, Hog Heaven String Band and Kentucky Tundra rounded out the day.


The next morning, my neck was a little kinky from sleeping in the car, but after a cup of Joe, I was ready to imbibe on more music. Let me introduce you to another Alaskan wonder, Anna Lynch. Her voice is resonant and rich as a glass of good wine.

Next up was Betty Hartford, wife of the late, great John Hartford, who sang songs of long ago, songs I haven't heard for decades. Listen all the way through to Orange Blossom Special (1978 Austin City Limits with John Hartford and the Dillards). Now that's how it's done right.

                               Betty Hartford

Looking ahead to the rest of the summer: there's the Fiddlehead Folk Festival, the Girdwood Forest Fair, Granite Creek Music Fest, the Chicken Fest (yes, that's the name of a town close to the Canadian border, 2010 census: 17), the Cantwell Music Fest and for three days of fish, fun and music, head on over to Salmon Stock 2014, featuring Lucinda Williams.

                     What a summer line-up.

             
                 
Oh wait. One more thought. You gotta love the sing-along gospel numbers, like: I'll Fly Away, and How Great Thou Art. 

And so I leave you with this: Carrie Underwood bringing her fellow country music stars to tears with her rendition of How Great Thou Art.  Exquisite, spirited, heart-wrenching stuff...which is how music is meant to be.
                                                                                    

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17. Women Taking Steam

                            Teaching of the Sweat Lodge, A. Paquette


NoteI am participating in Diane DeBella’s #iamsubject project http://www.iamsubject.com/the-iamsubject-project/. Here is my #iamsubject story.


                                               WOMEN TAKING STEAM


      A dog team yelps briefly in the starry night. Our boots squeak in the snow, the temperature hovering at 20 below. The hairs in my nostrils freeze, my lungs breathe in dry air. Clothes, frozen on a line, hang out to dry; stiff white sheets silent against a violet-black sky. We walk on a narrow path beaten down by pack boots and animal tracks; a path of least resistance through knee-deep snow.

    The steam house stands in a small clearing surrounded by birch forest, interrupted by the light of a half moon. It is almost like a dream to me now. I can’t place the village, though the experience is frozen in my mind. It was fourteen, maybe fifteen years past. I am traveling in Western Alaska, and visit many villages in the course of five days as an itinerant therapist. I remember a row of spruce-log cabins facing the airstrip; a modern schoolhouse perched atop a small rise, and oil drums emerging from mounds of deep snow. Perhaps the village is New Stuyhawk, or as far north as Koliganek. The exact location puzzles, but a haunting memory lingers. I am taking a steam with two Eskimo women who are strangers to me. What is remembered most clearly is a felt-sense of care and belonging imparted by the women who never even asked my name.

      It wasn’t so long ago that schoolchildren in the villages were shy and spoke very little, relying more on facial expressions to meet and greet newcomers. The raising of eyebrows meant “yes” in response to a question. Pause patterns between sentences were comparatively longer than non-native people. It took me several years to fully understand these differences in our conversations. Future tense was not expressed (there was no need when one lives day by day, following the rhythms of weather and seasons). Value was not placed on being highly verbal as in the Anglo worldview, and people were not accustomed to being barraged with a flurry of questions. Children learned by watching and imitating members of their tribe. The women of the village, too, had a quiet ambiance about them that exuded confidence and a sure-footedness in their daily activity. I am quite sure they never compared themselves to others, or complained about their lot in life. The older the woman, the wiser she was regarded, gaining great respect from all members of her community.

        The heavy wooden door scrapes the icy ground when opened, and a warm rush of air billows out. I pull the door tight behind me.  In the small entryway, we remove boots and socks, and hang up our clothing on horn hooks. There is no light inside but the kerosene lantern one woman carries to lead our way.

         Naked, we step into the heat room. At the far end of the enclosure is a 55-gallon fuel drum serving as a wood stove that hovers above a wide bed of river rocks.  
            
      One woman nods for me to follow. She is small in stature, with a soft round belly, sturdy, muscled legs and a long black braid falling to the curve in her back. We sit on a long wooden bench against the wall. The woman dips a wooden scoop into a bucket of water and ladles it carefully over the rocks. Hissing steam pours forth and I breathe in deeply the welcomed moisture. The women speak a few words, laugh a little, then quiet. I close my eyes and feel my skin tingling. The heat deepens. Moisture collects along my hairline, in the creases behind my knees, between my breasts.  Feels good, yes, she says, chuckling. The woman continues dipping and pouring until the room is filled with relaxing warmth. 

      In my culture, being chatty is highly valued. We talk about everything: work, family, love, sex, weight gain, weight loss, celebrities, money…and we do so intensely, even with strangers. There are experts on every block. Chat rooms on the Internet. Coffee chats. Over-the-fence neighborly chats. That’s how we solve problems, request advice, or just air what ails us. We become close through reciprocating in conversation and in sharing our stories of triumph and heartache. Or sometimes we talk just to talk. Sometimes we talk to avoid the silence.

      Another nod. A smile. I follow as we ease ourselves down to the slatted wood floor and sit cross-legged. One of the women scoops water into the wide metal bowls at our feet. Her face holds no particular expression, just serenity. She breathes deeply. Raises her eyebrows, hands me a bottle of shampoo. Hunched over, the women flip their long black hair into the bowls and begin washing. A deep sigh follows; a letting go. I feel the warmth of the room, the sweat, the deepened glow of the wood stove.

      I am entranced by this rich moment, a simple elemental cleansing shared with two strangers. Names, titles, and accomplishments, unimportant. Making money, who’s divorcing who, the plethora of advice, complaints and criticisms…gone.   There was a sense of relief in this heavily schooled, career loaded body; a dispelling of everything worrisome, gossipy, and even intellectual from this content-laden mind; and in its place, a simple gesture of an age-old, bare handed experience. 

     I have remembered these women for a long time, and our shared, quiet intimacy; a cleansing that surpassed the need to use words from my overwrought verbal repertoire. 


      Someone once said do not speak unless you can improve on the silence. It felt good to share a tender moment with two women who had no need or desire to bare their souls by throwing their minds around. 

      It felt good to simply be...quiet.

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18. To "Summer" in the Sound (how whales do it)

What was I doing while Husband plied the waters of Prince William Sound in his buddy's boat for 4 days? It was a trip to make repairs on the first operation of the season. You see, it's necessary to do a lot of hidden maintenance and removal of bugs on that first shakedown cruise, and the only way to discover hidden issues is to take her out for a multi-day spin around the block...



and of course, on the way, you view sea lions lounging on rocks, stunning mountain views, Dall porpoise crisscrossing the bow, and lots of whales...whales "summering" in the Sound, sort of like how New Yorkers "summer" in the Hamptons.



Humpback whales journey to the islands of Hawaii in the winter, and have their offspring there in the spring. Sometimes we too, vacate there, not to have babies, but for relief from Alaska's dark and cold winter months. Last year Husband and I paddled inflatable kayaks into Maaelaea Bay on the island of Maui and witnessed a humpback whale breeching way, way, way too close to our boats (BACK-PADDLE whilst I pee my pants).

http://vimeo.com/57416600

So it was interesting for him to view the whales that have returned to Alaska for the summer, returning to breech and twist and roll and spout and splash down with the greatest aplomb. Fact: Humbacks are baleen whales, which means they filter their food through baleen plates. They eat krill, anchovies, cod, sardines, and mackerel...all the stuff you like to have on your pizza.



While he and his buddy were out "fixing" things on the boat (uh huh), he took lots of photos. Today is a Share Some of His Photos Day, and a few facts about these magnificent creatures. 



The humpback is one of the most easily recognized whale species, weighing in at up to 48 tons, and measuring 40-50 feet in length. That's about a ton a foot...a helluva lot of blubber. They are differentiated from other whales by their large fins, almost a third of their body size, and the hump on their backs. The white markings on the underside of their fins are like fingerprints, allowing researchers to identify specific individuals who return to the Sound for the summer.



I wonder if the one that breeched in front of us in Maui is the same gal or fella photographed here? Could be. They're relatively small in numbers, the summering population less than a couple hundred.

So what if it takes 4 days of halibut fishing, shrimping and whale watching to figure out all the boat's bugs? Seriously, they got a lot of work done too. They replaced a stove and oven unit that was inoperable, put in a new water pump, did a thorough house, er, boat cleaning, replaced a propane shut-off valve, discovered a bad battery bank, changed out defective mooring lines, and while doing all this work, simultaneously test-ran the shrimp pots and fishing reels (just to make sure they worked OK...hehe). 


                                a trio of spouts

I stayed at home and power-washed the front of the house, sanded the deck in prep for painting, and constructed planter boxes out of old 2 x 6's. Maintenance and gardening operations, you might say. 

On Mother's Day, I sat on the newly sanded deck in the sunshine, and ate ice cream with son #2. And it will be skewered spot shrimp on the barbie tonight, fresh from the sparkling waters of Prince William Sound.

*All photos by Kent Devine







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19. riding the circumference of Lake Superior



riding the circumference of Lake Superior

around the lake that breathes like an ocean
a curve of sun tracks our faces:

we plow into winds, watch
a cloudburst bloom and
in the tent, later that night
under a storm-fest of lightening and rain we

feel the weight of a fleshy love
damp, ever-true, ever-lasting

I never guessed we’d make it back in time
for my fitting of the dress with blue flowers I
wore at your sister’s wedding when
you squeezed my hand at I do

I never guessed it’d be the last time I’d
ride the white line, with you





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20. Sports Fans


THE RIVER (HE) IS UNSTOPPABLE 

spring reigns, break-up pervades

and we sit, around a campfire

on the bank, watching the pre-game show, slow

the brown river runs, undulant under

the light-filled sky, not

a tailgate party, per se 

but close (hot dogs on sticks and beer), 

we watch with the exuberance granted

a sporting event, jumping to our feet when

upriver an ice jam lets go (the crowds go wild; can you hear them, cheering?) 

silt rolls down cliffs, the water (with sudden speed and velocity)

surges and the river (he)

re-shuffles himself and all the space around him

as ice sheets, big as cars amble and spin and flip

swerving around eddies (I'd say a 50 yard gain)

in a matter of seconds the river

leads in turnovers, how fast does (he) run?

colliding with ice cakes, taking a hit 

the earth is onto a big play

Impressive

trembling, we sway along with him, jumping

from our lawn chairs perched precariously on an

undercut of silt and root (we live dangerously) and 

then the whistle blows (a deep rumbling of ice bumping rock, boulders)

no one says a word

this guy (the river) is a true Olympian

Inexhaustible 

his rhythm and pulse, tearing clumps of soil and stone and stalk

cutting deep channels, 

"why, it's like he's been shot from a cannon," he shoots

he scores, he is a cloudburst of sky-sweeping liquid, 

he is beauty in motion, he leaps and rolls and 

 within seconds, he quiets

We sit down in our chairs, sip our beers, dissolve back into the landscape

and with the eagles perched behind us (in the tall spruce), we wait 

for the next and the next 

staggering play of the day by the

man called Copper, (who moves with grace and power), the all 'round

Invincible, (sports) Illustrated  

Player of the Year






Note: Every year in the spring, we sit on the banks of the Copper River at our cabin and watch the ice jams push through at "break-up." Defining moments, the ice makes thunderous and shearing sounds as the river melts and ice sheets from glaciers upriver tumble down its course. 


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21. Art's Impulse


You know who they are. People I call "connectors." The ones you meet along life's path who challenge you to become your personal best, who provide encouragement in your skills as a writer and artist, who recognize the dynamics of living a creative life and show, through their own examples, how to sustain it.

That's why when Suzi Banks Baum asked me to talk about my process as a creative person, I obliged. Through the sharing of her art, poetry and life, Suzi is a master at bringing women together to share their stories of struggle, accomplishment and beauty.

Suzi is an artist, writer and full time mom who edited An Anthology of Babes: 36 Women Give Motherhood a Voice. On her blog, Laundry Line Divine, Suzi writes about the juggling act of motherhood and creativity, and how to navigate the waters of social media for authors and artists. She hosts a blog series with guests from around the world, and provides "hands on" writing and art workshops in real time. In real places! 

Suzi lives in the Berkshire Mountains of western Massachusetts and I live in Alaska. We will finally get to meet in person this August at a reading of her anthology (in which I gratefully have a story) in the north woods of Marquette, Michigan. We'll also let our imaginations fly in a mixed media art workshop. 

I am a poet, writer and dabbler in painting and mixed media and this is how I work: 

Sometimes in the writing of poetry, I have an initial idea and start by "clustering" to create a portal into the mind. Gabriele Lusser Rico describes this technique in her book, Writing the Natural Way. Many natural forms come in clusters...grapes, lilacs, spider eggs...as do thoughts and images (when given free rein). The literary critic Northrop Frye said "any word can become a storm center of meanings, sounds, and associations, radiating out like ripples in a pool." To follow art's impulse is to write whatever comes to mind in the moment.

It's as simple as writing a word down on a page, and then free-associating words and ideas triggered by that word without censorship or dwelling on anything specific. Keep your hand moving for two minutes, letting words and thoughts spill out without thinking or analyzing anything. Clustering happens naturally and feels a bit chaotic as you let words radiate out from the nucleus word without judgment. 

Stop writing after two minutes, then connect the words with arrows on the page. At some point, a shift occurs and you suddenly understand what you want to write about; the subject of the piece becomes clear. Sometimes I have to repeat the process several times until the clouds dissipate and a mental shift occurs. At this point, I switch from using a pencil to writing on the computer. My poem, Trajectory, was created in this way:



                                                             Trajectory

The river doesn’t follow a straight line
pulled by the moon but roams
like a coyote
following root skin and scent.

Ice jams push sludge brown waters
(on a screaming path), uprooting
one-hundred-year-old spruce trees and
cutting the silt bank to its knees.

We count our blessings. shore up with big rocks.
muscle against the inevitable, learn
to soften and adapt.

And this summer you turned eight.
smarter. taller. faster. still freckled.
learning to skate and paint.
are you who you once were?

a fish pulled from the net slides
through my slippery hands, gulls wheel
the sky goes rust and
everything, it seems
is carved in sand.

Another way to generate poems is to create an amalgam of images, and write from the the finished product. This is also chaotic from the start, but interesting because associations may be made from the interaction of images that initially had nothing in common. I keep a big box of images: pictures cut from magazines, old postcards, greeting cards, sketches, small impromptu paintings, photographs. 

I'll take a photograph and cut out images to interlay on the photograph, and experiment to see what emerges. The image at the top of this post is one such creation. I haven't created a poem from this appropriated image yet, but I suspect when I do, it will be about any number of things: language, ancestry, the rhythm of time, lineage, Native Americans, the art that binds people of different ages, or something as obscure as salt or silence (clustered words), or it may even dip into a political realm.    

Digging through my big box of images clipped from magazines, recycled books, and drawings, I pull together possibilities. The results are often times surprising and revelatory. I didn't know I was going to write about sugar maples today! 

In the area of writing, I am currently working on a memoir about the adventures I so adamantly searched for in my 20's by making a move to Alaska, and the intersection of those experiences with my immediate family's upbringing (originating in Michigan). At the same time, I follow the intensity of poetry because it brings out strong feeling, even though often contradictory, and find it is grist for writing longer pieces of both fiction and non-fiction. 

Thank you, Suzi, for inviting me on this blog hop to share my process and introduce other writers, artists and digital media gurus to the reading public. 

Next on the list...Joanne Tombrakos. Joanne is a storyteller, marketing and sales consultant, and Professor of Digital Marketing at NYU ( www.joannetombrakos.com). 
Joanne considers herself a creative entrepreneur and she is the self-published author of It Takes An Egg Timer, A Guide To Creating The Time For Your Life and a novel, The Secrets They Kept. Joanne contributes to The Huffington PostForbesWoman and BlogHer. A two-time career reinventor, her previous incarnations included teaching in the public school system and sales and marketing positions for CBS and Time Warner. When not consulting, blogging or working on the next book she can be found indulging in dance breaks, naps and dark chocolate. 





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22. Make Room



          Make Room

          what tall ships sailed under
          snow on these dry-blue beds

          crushed by the weight of
          heavy moons and black ground

          how many layers of bones
          lie below the lake, no

          longer shaded by trees
          of a hundred rings.

          the workers meant to catalogue
          tools, children's toys, bent eyeglasses

          digging up artifacts disguised as old comforts:
          cooking pots, woolen shawls, keepsakes

          a pentagram engraved in stone
          made sense of things, each point

          on the star given meaning for
          the purpose of solace, consolation.

          still nothing changes

          even the oldest among us don't sense
          cresting the last hill

          or waiting for the ocean
          to loosen.





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23. Emma Hill House Concert


Let me first say this about Emma Hill. She was born and raised in Sleetmute, Alaska, a village of 100 people, give or take, on the salmon-fed upper Kuskokwim River. She's well-traveled, and has toured the world sharing her exquisite musical talents with eager listeners everywhere. And reviewers have compared her music to that of Gillian Welch and David Rawlings (no, really....I'm not kidding!) 

As young as she is, Emma Hill has learned boatloads about the pains of first love (and second and third), the tragic loss of loved ones, and the rigors of being on the road in service to her art. Lucky for us it is from these experiences she so soulfully shares the rhythms of her life. 


Brian Daste and Emma Hill
But she never forgot her home ground. After living in Portland for five years, Emma returned home because she missed the land and people that made her who she is. I say this without sentimentality. Alaska...the rivers, mountains, coastlines...the sweep and scope of the place is like a character in a story, not just a point on the map. Its mystique runs deep in your heart, and holds a mighty tight grip you just can't shake. 

Emma will tell you so. She grew up singing and writing songs, and remembers sitting in the back of her Dad's Cessna  jotting down words to songs as they flew up and downriver in their travels from the village. That was many years ago, and she's still cranking out great music. Take a listen to this tribute to her uncle/pilot Steve Hill, who lost his life in a small aircraft accident. For Alaskans listening tonight, you understand. Everyone of us knows someone who has encountered the same fate in a land where airplanes are as common as taxis and buses. Emma pours out her heart with grit, grace and passion on this song titled, "A Pilot's Goodbye." 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO7DBrerdlA




House concerts are a marvelous way to get to know your favorite artists face-to-face. To enjoy their music and stories right in your own living room. As singer/songwriter Emmylou Harris once said, though she's played the world over, her fondest memories are those when she played and sang in the living rooms of friends and family, enjoying the intimacy and comfort of their homes.



Tonight Emma brought the memories of her home and life into ours, and it was indeed, a memorable show. 





Thank you Brian and Emma, and thanks to all the friends who came over to hang out with us in the living room. 

To hear more of Emma's music, click here:  http://www.emmahillmusic.com/listen/




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24. A Blazon to Quinn-Doggy


What, exactly, you may ask, is a blazon?

A blazon is a poetic form, first appearing by the French poet Clement Marot during the 16th century.

It started out as a poetic catalogue, which lists or analyzes the virtues or attributes of a woman by defining her admirable features, and comparing her body parts (from the hair down) to something beautiful or precious.

You know, the cheesy stuff like "there is a garden in her face, where roses and white lilies grow...she has lips like coral, teeth like pearls, and hair like spun gold."

The poet deftly uses simile and hyperbole to describe a woman's physical features; regardless of how deft and romantic , it still sounds cheesy to me.

Why, even Shakespeare had it in his right mind to turn blazons into parodies...like this: "wouldn't she be ugly, monstrous even, if her breasts were really "globes", her lips "cherries"? And "my mistress eyes are nothing like the sun, if snow be white, why then her breasts are dun." 

But the blazon form has changed over the centuries. Now it is a line-by-line use of words to describe, in obvious and even obtuse ways, not only a person but inanimate items, like a mountain, a doorstep, a rock. 

Here is a blazon by Miriam Sagan, from her book, The Widow's Coat, about her husband who died too soon:

My husband in stubble, zen priest in a nicotine patch
My husband by the open grave with a handful of dirt
My husband the Jew, bleeding from uclers
My husband in ivory beads carved into skulls
A man with designer sunglasses, speeding tickets, the collected works of Han Shan
Of weight loss, skinny Auschwitz, whose new name is colitis
Whose other name means water course in Japanese
Whose name was taken from the western sycamore tree
Whose original name was changed on Ellis Island
Who began to vomit the day I kissed him
My husband who buys one pair of boots per lifetime
Who loses forty pounds, whose wrists make me hysterical, who molts, 
parakeet or polar bear
My husband who swam without his glasses towards a horizon marked by a red tanker
Who stood up and hemorrhaged rust, who wrote his initials in blood
Who coached me in childbirth, who owed me fifty dollars, who gave me a mushroom
Who moved the sprinklers, who cut up the counter with a carving knife
Who crossed his legs and sat down
Whose name was raven and anemia and something else secret
An internal organ shaped like Minnesota
Shadow, skeleton, moth owl
Sitting on a cache of eggs in the dark, city sitting on its own skyline
Empire State Building, Arc de Triomphe, Coit Tower
This curve of the world lit up by expensive 
Electricity I call husband.

The following is a blazon I wrote about my dog, Quinn:

Quinn, the Eskimo dog
who jumps for joy, drags voles from under snow
nibbles innocently on counter food, then looks up and says, "What?"
Quinn who noses plastic bags
thunder pads on ice who hates moving water
who never learned to walk or stay in one place
who sprints from wall to wall, dirtball 
an eagle eye, who roams neighborhoods chases coyotes
and if he could, would Tweet every known dog on earth
to cop a smell to chase and mount and strut his ware
Quinn alpha Quinn rabbit hops in mid air, who
chose the colors gray and sable, black
who won't be leashed, won't give slack
Quinn, the champion were he to race, ten years
going on two, he howls like wolves do, true to 
husky culture, lore
Obsessed with motion, his altar miles of space
feathers, bones, and stones he'll dig a hole to China


pull like a John Deere plow


help me skate, and even contemplate, Quinn
a curled ball within cabin walls

man's best friend and woman's too
who pokes his nose in thin fish and smoke
rarely reposed ready to go

whose scent is never hidden roving 
crashing through willow
frosted ears paws nose down under snow
                                                           yellow-eyed the root in canine-speak of
                                                           all that rises up, a squall
                                                           Quinn the silver bullet
                                                           Quinn, the mighty Eskimo
                                                           Quinn-doggy, the outlaw.






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25. Sanctuary


The snow kept falling and ice seized as

winter pressed dark and hard 

Exhaustion mounted 

layered high as the banks of a deep river

draining your strength, dry.


Though no consolation, some say there is beauty in the breakdown

and that great movement is gained the deeper you go

I know. 

you didn't ask to go.  had

no desire to carry the world on the slate of your back

begging for slack.


would suffering slough off, peel away, shift into freedom

someday?


I will not say that your shattered world will make you stronger

I will not impose meaning where there may be none


I will just say that structure will return

that all possibilities are fleeting

that the water will become clear again, though leave a heavy trace.


Take no ownership of this trial

put your head on my shoulder and cry, knowing 

when things fall apart


they fall back together, again, and we are left

to ask nothing, but why.







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