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I just lost another family member, this time very unexpectedly and in a strange, almost “was meant to happen because it makes no sense” kind of experience. There were too many bizarre variables in this loss equation. I am in the What the Heck? stage. All this loss has me looking at the different stages of grief and realizing I need to rewrite them for myself. This will also help me explain to my friends when they ask how I am doing. If you ever lost an animal or person, you will relate. (And yes, this pretty much applies to all kinds of losses). Here it goes.

STAGE ONE.

Shock or “I am half in and half out.” “Half in and half out” is a really nice place to be. If you are able, you can communicate with the departed loved one. You can hear your Guides, helpers, God as if they are next to you, because you are half in. It’s not a good stage to be driving or using heavy equipment, or even utensils. It feels really good to be numb, but someone needs to remind you to eat and bathe.

STAGE TWO.

Shock starts to wear off. It’s the “remembering.” You realize your animal or loved one is not here and you are searching. I hate that feeling. It feels like LOSS in capital letters. It’s a loss you can’t fix, change or do something about. You can’t put them back into their bodies, but if you could, you sure would.

This is also the “WTF?” stage. Why? Why? Why? You think about what you should have done or could have done. There’s a lot of pissed off-ness to this stage. You could probably kill an army if you weren’t so tired all the time. Hearing “it was their time” makes you want to pull heads off Barbie dolls (sorry, Barbie). The spirit of the loved one is hanging around and you may have dream or physical spirit contact, but the spirit is probably too afraid to approach seeing your incredible pissed off-ness from the Other Side. They aren’t stupid. There’s a lot of crying in this stage that comes and goes and makes you look either crazed, menopausal or unmedicated. It’s difficult to resume your every day life. Plus, gotta admit, there’s a bitterness there sometimes too–how can life around you continue when your life pretty much just stopped?

STAGE THREE. 

When stage three comes it’s usually good to find some kind of communication with the departed in order to get over the “the sadness” and still feel connection. You are swimming around in the grief. The healthy thing to do is just dive into it and FEEL so later on you don’t experience a loss and then all the losses you have ever had come crashing into your face at once and you feel bulldozed and catatonic. Keeping really busy helps not feel “the sadness.” Any kind of distraction helps avoid feeling “the sadness.” I’ve been there many times and there’s no way around but through it. Sadness comes along with spontaneous bursting out crying at the weirdest things like walking down the frozen aisle of Walmart, or seeing a dog bed in a commercial, or for me yesterday, realizing I don’t have  to buy red lettuce anymore while shopping in the supermarket. It feels like a giant hole in your tummy–something is definitely missing, hopefully not a major organ in there. Oh by the way, this is an excellent time to watch every past episode of the Ghost Whisperer. That show is so darn comforting.

STAGE FOUR.

Stage Four isn’t so much a stage, but a mix-up of stages. Like after realizing I didn’t have to buy red lettuce anymore I was catapulted into the “pissed off stage” and I could visit there for awhile. Then I bounced into “the sadness.” Then back into the “pissed off-ness.” Having a creative outlet to express all the stages is also good. For example, like writing a blog post. :)

STAGE FIVE.

Acceptance. Like I read in a post on FB the other day, you just learn to adapt to living without the physical soul there. You might have peace. When Bun Bun my parakeet passed in February, I knew she really wanted to be with my other parakeet in spirit. She missed him so bad after he crossed over. He would pop over and visit in spirit a lot and taunt her with his freedom and wild birdness, so how could she not want to hang out in the light too? So I understood. The loss I am having now I am not there yet. When I do hit acceptance, I will have a greater understanding, I suppose. In this stage you might have even established a constant, clear connection with your departed. (I think how now when I go through big stuff it feels like Grand Central Station of spirits visiting, all checking on me. There’s lots of lights, ear ringing, messages, and thoughts. It’s kinda cool if I wasn’t so pissed and didn’t have Giant Hole Feeling.) Acceptance just means you are able to put away the dog bed or blanket, clean out the cage, put away the belongings. You have to move on with them in spirit, and you in body, but you are ready for a different kind of connection now.

I am positive in the way in the future I will experience loss again and I can look over this post and be reminded of the stages so I will get through it. The crappy part of life is loss, but if we remember that there is no true death, that we can still connect, even see them again, it helps us get through the process in one piece and with meaning. In the meantime, I am off to watch season four of Ghost Whisperer where even Melinda experiences great loss, and I will definitely avoid the frozen and leafy green aisles in Walmart, for now.

Fairy blessings,

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If you want to explore communication together, I am offering Animal Mediumship starting September 26th, a Friday. Enrollment is open now over HERE. 

I was playing around with the concept of manifesting and asking for more. I decided to ask for a specific monetary amount to arrive in the next few days. When I realized I was asking too little, I  blurted “$1000! I want a $1000 in the next few days.”

I received this in the mail.

Look closer…

Even more than I asked for!

Did I mention you need to be specific when you ask for things? Like, I could actually cash this check. The check was from a used car dealership  supposedly I could use towards a down payment on a new car.

Follow me as we pack our bags and head on over to Australia again! It’s the lovely and very wise Monique Williams and her blog and coaching site. Monique addresses Tip and Tool #49 and she does it beautifully.

http://moniquetwilliams.com/2012/03/01/a-tip-for-the-sensitive-just-walk-away/

Did you order a copy of your book yet? You can get the book right here from the Author!

As many of you know, I love to teach through what I create. Today’s featured excerpt is from the Dogbunny Zine (available here at my Etsy shop), reminders on Abundance and Gratitude.

The theme of Hearing has been on my mind lately.

I am noticing I am hearing psychically more and more. This can be a great asset for my business helping others. I simply tune in and I hear messages loudly and clearly. Long ago, when I first started this work, I’d have to sit down and clear my mind and try to meditate first. It felt like a struggle to hear correctly and I doubted much of what I received because I was so new at it. (That’s hope for those just starting out). Not so anymore. It’s always there like a fast moving stream I tap into.

I easily hear my Guides also, now instead of in mediation, often throughout the day. It feels like light-bulb moments of knowing.

On the downside, I pick up telepathically from many sources and this can cause foggy thinking and confusion. I find myself having conversations with people, and even arguments, from far away. The other day, I picked up on thoughts and energy of a client an entire day before a session, and didn’t know it until after the fact. Not a good thing. I am realizing I need to have my Doorkeeper stronger in place and create better psychic filters as this ability expands.

I am also noticing where I don’t feel heard. Being heard is very important in relationships. You may have a different opinion on what I should do or think, but hear me, and what is important to me. When you don’t hear me it is usually because you are in the way. That’s a big indication you are seeing through your filter and experiences. That’s a good reminder for me not to take things personally at those times when I don’t feel heard.

I am hearing my girls better lately also. Sarah, my beagle mix girl, who I often mention, has always communicated through feeling. She’s not one I pick up through thoughts or hearing. Yet, lately, I can hear her. I think that maybe she resonates at a different frequency I am picking up now.

I am hearing my loved one better also. Really hearing what he has to say and going beyond the surface to what is going on. I hear his pain. Really see him underneath the layers.

But most importantly, I am hearing myself more. What I want, need, and feel. Not what other people want for me or think what is best, but what I think it is best. It’s a new shift for me, and it’s a little scary. I’m dealing with a deep fear: What if I don’t please others but I please myself?

What if, the times I complain I am not being heard or have been forgotten, and I scream at my Guides, it is a time I am not taking the time to sit down and hear myself? I am ignoring that little girl in me who is crying out and saying what she needs, but I am dismissing her.

Ironically, my ears have been hurting. Perhaps they are adjusting to the expansion, just like I am, psychologically.

Be heard, dear readers.

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